Disclaimer: See previous chapters. kthxbye.
A/N: After this chapter the lyrics will kinda pander out...*smile* thanks for readin'.
If I Die Young
Chapter Three
"So put on your best boys,
And I'll wear my pearls,
What I never did is done..."
He found him outside, standing on the edge of the hospital lawn, legs spread and arms crossed. Maybe, he supposed, if he looked tough then he wouldn't feel anything. He shook his head and stepped up to his side, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, his chest puffed out as he thought about what to say. "She's okay, you know..now." There was silence from the taller man, the only hint he'd heard was his nostrils flaring.
"Maybe I should just stay away from her til she's better." He said softly.
Danny cast his partner an incredulous look, "Tell me..tell me why you always blame yourself? Really you blame yourself for what happened earlier?" He shook his head, "She's fine now, man, doc says it won't be much longer before they wean her off sedation." He looked towards where dawn broke like a fresh start. "She needs you." He said softly. "You think you're bad luck for everyone, that everyone around you gets hurt becase of you. And I know I give you a hard time about that...but..it's not true, Steven." He continued, "We're alive because of you. Just..think about that. I have a rookie to hold hands with." He squeezed Steve's shoulder and disapeared back inside.
"The sharp knife of a short life..."
The pain was gone..and she didn't feel *so* tied down by the blackness, but she was alone again. Then she felt the roughness of a hand take hers. That was new...before it was pressure..now she could feel texture. "Hey, rookie." His voice was chocolatey smooth, soothing. She relaxed. Hey Jersey. You boys figured how to spring me outta this joint? She worked to wake up, to pull her eyelids open but they wouldn't..and there was this...tightness in her throat and chest that she couldn't place. She hushed her responding thoughts and listened carefully like a blind person reaching out in the dark as Danny started to speak again.
"I'm trying to get Steve back up here, kid." He said, his other hand covering the hand he held, "You scared him, trying to bleed out again like that. I know you couldn't help it, but..I've never seen him so scared...yeah..scared..can you believe that one?
She listened to the lilting, rolling tone of his voice...it was a little rambly..but that was Danny and that was safe..she clung to it. "If you're wondering where Chin is, he'll be here after awhile..he had to do some things. Tie up some loose ends for the Governor. You ought to see the sunrise, Kono." he breathed, "It's beautiful." There was quietness..she never would have pegged Danny for the sentimental watch the sun rise kinda guy...it made her feel fluffy. He sighed deepily, "I know how you feel, kid." He said, his thumb stroking her hand, "I'm not snowed...I've seen it for months." He watched her face as the sun light streamed in on her, "I'm pretty sure you're not the only one either." He said softly, his thumb tracing the veins of her hand, "Not after the way he almost went postal when you had to go back to surgery. He had a crazy look in his eyes...I had to take him out..his face was scaring people. Well I'm not surprised it doesn't scare people every day..it's not exactly a face that's soothing."
She laughed, Oh Danny. You have no idea. She relaxed, the feeling of his hand on hers soothing, healing. "He needs you, kid." He said gently, "He's not going to open his heart to you until he knows you're going to be there. When they take this damn thing out of your throat and wake you up, I want you to open those big beautiful brown eyes to him. Don't wake up for anyone but him...he cares about you Kono...I've only seen him this riled up once before and that was when Mary was kidnapped...he goes crazy when the ones he loves are in danger. Trust me kid." He stood, venturing to lay a soft kiss on her forehead. "He's like a brother to me."
She heard his voice closer, almost felt his breath on her ear, her heart fluttered...he thought Steve loved her? Maybe like a sister...she'd seen how close he and Mary were...that had to be it...she was like a sister. Then Danny continued and she shushed herself. "Don't ever tell anyone, kid...how much I love that big idiot. You take care of him, okay? That's not just my partner we're talking about ..that's my brother. Don't mess this up, kid." He squeezed her hand. "I'll shut up now, you'd probably appreciate that."
"I'm as a green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin of a man..
but it sure felt nice when he was holdin my hand..."
She thought about it as quietness descended...as Danny contined to hold her hand, as the far off buzz of nurses and doctors were around her..she tuned them out. She clung to the words he'd spoken. It felt like forever that he was there..she was *so* tired of being asleep..she was *fine*. Whatever had happened to her, she was sure she was over it...she just wanted her strong Navy man back. Jersey was like an annoying little brother..but one she loved, but he didn't make her feel completely safe like nothing could touch her. Soon she felt him kiss her forehead again and talk softly to someone before his hand was gone, "Hey cuz." Chin. Okay...well at least they were still taking turns watching over her..she felt loved, then she heard him start filling her in on the day so far, what her mother and sister were doing, the rest of their extended family. She loved them, wanted to hear about them, but now she had a goal..wake the hell up and tell Steve she was never going to leave him...one because she didn't care how dangerous their lives were...if you were soulmates, you were damned soul mates. Two..because nothing could touch her when he had her back...Three. She had his and would *never* mess this up. Jersey had her word...she wasn't gonna mess this one up.
"We're going to start weaning her off the sedation and intubation this afternoon." The doctor was quietly informing Chin, "She should start waking up tonight if all is well." He smiled.
Chin nodded, smiling, "Thank you doctor." he squeezed his cousin's hand, 'I'll be letting her mother know soon, she'll want to be here when she wakes up."
Sorry Mama...not waking up for anyone but him. Under direct orders..gotta do what my superiors say ya know. She settled back into this blackness and waited for what ever was next. Obviously she was not dead, otherwise there would be no way for her *to* wake up..so she waited.
"There's a boy here in town,
Says he'll love me forever.."
He watched, even though they tried to tell him *not* to, he did..he watched as they removed the long blue tube, started tapering down the sedation. He sighed deepily, she would be okay..there was just something about not seeing her intubated that made that firm in his mind, she'd be okay. He entered, quietly and slowly and took a seat, watching her, his eyes tracing over every inch of her, making sure she was okay. The doctor said it could be a few hours for the sedation to wear off since she'd been out for so long. It didn't feel like it had been three days already. He reached out and trailed his fingers over her cheek. "You're gonna be okay, beautiful." He murmered.
She could have squeeled...he'd come back. She *knew* he would, she tried to pick up her arms and reach for him but they were still lead. The tightness in her throat and chest was gone, but now it felt scratchy like the beginning of a cold. She swallowed, almost purring as he touched her. He'd called her beautiful..her heart soared, she wondered when she woke up if he would keep saying these nice things to her. She frowned deepily and made a concentrated effort to move her hand.
Her pulse was escalating again and Steve looked down, her fingers were twitching, he took her hand, "Shh, it's okay." He soothed, "Try not to wake up to fast, okay? Just...be slow about it." He stroked the hair off her forehead. "When you wake up, we're going to have to have a little talk about going in like Rambo without a vest..that's my job." THere was a lilt of humor in his voice. The stroking continued and she felt herself lulled back to sleep...though this sleep was not the black sleep, the opressive sleep..it was a gray sleep...a *real* sleep. Maybe she was close to waking up. She clung to his hand, feeling the rough texture, the long fingers, the pulse that pounded in his wrist. "And when you get healed up I might even yell at little bit..."
I'll just deck you out, boss. She quirked a mental brow, she wished he'd hold her. She sighed.
Steve looked sharply down at her, that was a definate sigh, her eyelids were twitching, it was a real sleep, not drug induced. It would be soon, he shuold call her mother, but he couldn't move..he was mesmerized by her, and her hand clung to his like a lifeline. He didn't want to leave her alone. He held her hand when the nurse came to change her bandages, looking away when the young woman quirked a brow at him, his hand still firmly gripping Kono's. "You think she'll wake up soon?" He asked softly,
She tilted her head, watching the girl, "I'm not sure. She certainly has a lot of people that love her," She smiled, "And now that you're here..she may make a concentrated effort just to see you." She gathered her supplies and left.
Steve smirked, looking back at his sleeping beauty. He tried to remember if he'd ever seen any of their family before his father shipped them to the mainland. He'd been almost seventeen, Chin had been Kono's age..a new rookie. She'd have been just a little girl back then...Grace's age. He smiled, ten years was a big difference when you thought about it that way, ten years, and a lot of superiority and regs. But it wasn't like he could hide his true feelings from either Danny or Chin...especially Danny. He might be blonde sometimes, but he was a damned good detective and missed nothing. Steve sighed, just get through this first..the last three days were overwhelming...emotions he had denied had come crashing down...he had come to the realization that he would never get over it if Kono had died. And not on the level of any of his other comrades..he'd lost men before..he'd even lost women...but she was *his*. He'd hand picked her to be on his team, then his soul had hand picked her for it's mate...and you don't deny a caveman his mate. He smirked, remembering when she'd called him that at the house...if he hadn't been so mad he'd have made grunting noises and drug his hands to make her laugh. He turned his eyes to her smooth face and let himself feel everything. He never wanted to loose this woman again.
"The ballad of a dove,
Go in peace and Love,
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em..."
There was a low drone of a television somewhere and it was annoying...she was trying to *nap* here. She felt exhausted, like she'd been on a long journey and just wanted to sleep. She groaned, "Shut it off."
"Phut ib op." Steve's head whipped to the side and stared at her. Had she spoken?
"What? Kono..did you say something?" He said, shutting the news off and leaning over the rail to look at her. He watched her throat work as she swallowed, it had to be dry and scratchy,
"Too 'oud." She murmered, struggling, swimming up. The blackness was all a dream and it was just..numb. There was pain, like she'd been run over by a truck, and her head hurt like a fucker, she must have been in a fight..but..wait..why was Steve here? Why was there all this...noise. She groaned, forcing her eyes to open...it was blurry at first...dark..so it must be night, she felt hot breath wafting over her and looked up and over, forcing her heavy eyelids.
Her eyes opening to him was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen..like dawn breaking over the open ocean...breathtaking. Her scratchy voice like honey. "Hey..welcome back." he said, smiling.
Kono moaned, her eyes finding his, "What 'appened." She swallowed, "Throat hurts." There was movement and a flash of blue and a nurse was by her side, raising the back of her bed,
"Here..slowly." She offered her water and Kono drank like a dying man. Her eyes locked onto Steve's..there was something..incredibly beautiful about the way he was looking at her...complete and total love and excitement. It made her heart squeeze..whatever had happened must have scared him shitless. "Thank you." She rasped. The nurse nodded, seeing the two of them,
"I'll call the others for you." She said gently, leaving the room.
Kono cleared her throat, reaching for Steve's hand, he moved, grasping it firmly but gently. "What happened." She asked softly, her eyes still heavy, her head *really* fucking hurt.
"You were shot." he said softly, his eyes red rimmed..was he..was he gonna cry? It broke her heart..she hated it, never wanted to see it again.
"I don't remember it...not right now anyway..." She said quietly.
"We can talk later, you rest."
"Why do I feel like smacking you for that?" She asked, "I feel like I've been sleeping for ages..I don't want to sleep." She shivered. "Where's the boys?"
"They're coming." He kissed her forehead, "Rest, okay?"
"mm. Then I'll have the Governor reprimand you for sexual harrasment." She murmered, her eyes shutting again.
"Fine by me, beautiful." His low voice soothed.
"So put on your best boys,
And I'll wear my pearls..."
When she woke up the next morning, she was in a different room. She knew this because the window was on the other side of her, don't ask how she knew but she did. And three beautiful faces surrounded her, she grinned, her boys. She remembered the time they'd all surprised her, dressed to the nines in their uniforms the night she missed her graduation. Today however there were khakis and jeans and teeshirts. She remembered Mom and Ailana being there the night before, but barely. "Hey." She said, her voice crackly still. She didn't hurt quite as badly, and definately didn't feel as tired.
"Welcome back kid." Danny was smiling that sweet warm smile of his that made you want to hug him and ruffle his hair. He stood at the end of her bed and reminded her of a gaurdian angel..she felt firmly that he'd had some sort of role like that in the past few days..she vaguely remembered him talking..a lot.
"Cuz." Chin's eyes were watery.
"Hey..stop that." She said, reaching for him, she closed her eyes, sighing as her favorite older cousin hugged her gently, "I'm okay, brah."
The room was silent and still when she looked up into gray-blue eyes...blue clothes always did that to his eyes, made them a dizzying marble of blue and gray...it took her breath away.
"McGarrett." The name was soft, tender. Her lifeline, he looked scruffy like he hadn't shaved for three days, and tired..there were rims under his eyes the other two didn't have.
"Hey Kono." He said, the way he said it rocked her world, it was like the other two had faded into the wall.
She grinned, looking around them after a minute, "This is a sight a girl could get used to." She said, looking for the button to raise up more, Steve beating her to it and helping her. "Thanks." She smiled at him. She sighed, "So what happened anyway, I know I was shot, but I don't remember much else."
"MAybe you should wait..til you're a little better." Danny offered.
Kono shook her head, shifting herself a bit, "no..no I wanna know now."
The trio gathered around her bed and filled her in on the last four days, what had happened and everything after, including how they'd taken shifts watching over her.
"So..how long til I can get back to work?" She asked, frowning, "I don't like laying around."
"No one does." Steve said, "But it's going to be a few weeks..you have to heal, plus your left shoulder's pretty beat up." He nodded to the sling, "You'll have to have someone to take care of you."
She sighed, nodding, "I don't like this..really." She frowned.
"We're here to help and support you." Danny said, "Now..if you feel up to it, there's a very special little lady who's been wanting to make her cousin Kono feel a lot better." HIs eyes sparkled.
Kono grinned, "Gracie...of course I want to see her. Is she here?"
Danny smiled, leaving the room for a bit to gather his daughter from the nurses' station. She stood at the door, entering very quietly and gently.
"Hey Kono..you feelin better?" She asked, seeing how the other two men stood on each side of the bed, Chin stepped aside and knelt to help Grace sit on the edge of the bed.
"A little...I'm glad you came to see me though." She smiled, "Give me a hug."
"Danno says I have to be gentle." Gracie said, leaning forward and hugging Kono very carefully.
"Well, you're doing a good job..hey what's this?" She asked, pointing to Grace's hand.
Grace grinned, holding out the small brown teddy bear, "It was in the gift shop downstairs..it's name is Koko...almost your name..and he has a hurt arm too." She held it out.
Kono laughed softly, "Thank you Gracie, he's very cute."
Grace smiled, shifting, "I am gonna make you cookies when you get to go home, Mommy's gonna help me though..she says I don't stir it well enough." The four of them smiled as Gracie babbled on, filling Kono in on the week, she was good medicine. Steve's eyes kept drifting to Kono's face, watching as she took complete interest in what Grace had to say, scooting over a bit she held out her good arm, having Grace cuddle up next to her. "Why don't we kick these boys out and watch a little tv, huh?" She grinned.
"Is it okay, Daddy? Can I stay?"
Danny smiled, "For a little while. Don't tire her out."
"I won't daddy."
"It's fine Danny." Kono smiled, "I wanna spend sometime with my girl." SHe hugged her gently with her good arm. "Go on now, go..do something, Steve, you need a shave, shoo." She waved her hand. The boys chuckled softly and filed out, Steve stopping at the door just a little while longer to take in the view of the girls giggling together as they found something amusing to watch together. He was a goner. That one was for sure. Now..what the hell to do about it.
"If I die young,bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of roses,
Sink me in the river at Dawn, send me away with the words of a love song..
The ballad of a dove..go in peace and love, gather up your tears
Keep 'em in your pocket...save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em.
I've had just enough time..so put on your best boys..and I'll wear my pearls.."
When she woke up, Grace was gone, little Koko was setting where the girl had been, she smiled, holding it up and looking at it, she set it on the bedside table and gasped, Steve was settled into the chair, his long frame uncomfortably hunched as he slept. His long eyelashes panned out over his cheeks. She smiled, watching him for a little while, she wondered how long she'd been napping...mom had come by while Grace and them had still been here, then there had been dinner and she and Grace had made comments about the food, then there was TV again and Danny had been there..now it was very dark and it was just her and Steve. He didn't *need* to be here..not anymore..but he was. She wondered why. It made her feel protected, loved and happy. But she didn't like him looking uncomfortable. "Steve." She whispered, "Steve!" She hissed, biting her lip as he jumped awake, looking around disoriented for a minute, he smiled warmly when he saw her,
"You okay?" He said, leaning forward.
"I'm fine, why don't you go home..." She noticed he'd shaved at that made her smile.
"Because." He said, shrugging. He looked like a little boy in that moment, his hair every which way and the sheepish look, it was endearing and adorable.
"Well you don't look very comfortable in that chair." She said, keeping her voice down, "And I'm cold."
"I'll ask for another blanket.." He started to move,
"No..Steve..no." She said, grabbing his hand, she looked down, "Why..why don't you lay out here." She patted the bed, "I'd feel a lot safer then you clear over there." She said softly, her gaze downcast. She had the distinct memory of desiring him to hold her for days...
Steve hesitated, then moved, she heard his shoes falling softly onto the floor as he put them under the bed,moving things a little and gently crawling up beside her, situating himself next to her as she turned on her good side, his arm slipping around her waist as he nestled against her, she relaxed, sighing, breathing in his scent as he nuzzled closely, breathing in her hair, his arm gently cradling her sling, his other arm wrapped around her..he held her close and protectively, and this is how Chin and Danny found them the next morning, spooned together like two sides of a coin, like twin flames giving warmth and strength to each other. They looked at each other, a small smile on their faces, they turned, leaving the pair in their slumber...a caveman watching over his woman, a warrior protecting his princess...
