Belle's first doctor's appointment was a week later and she clutched her purse in her lap as she glanced around the waiting room nervously.

She'd had to request the morning off in order to make it to the appointment and Granny had given her a suspicious look. In the past week she'd picked up as many shifts as she could, so requesting a morning shift off was a deviation from the norm. She'd told Granny she was going to the dentist to take care of a toothache and she hoped no one she knew would spot her at the gynecologist's office.

She was being silly of course. She could just be there for a routine yearly exam. It's not as though she had a blinking neon sign above her head declaring that she was pregnant, no matter how much it felt like it.

Belle ran a hand over her face, wishing she could scream without drawing the attention of the other women in the waiting room. She couldn't believe her stupidity.

She had been on the pill from the age of 17. For nine years, ever since she started dating Gary her junior year of high school, she'd dutifully taken her birth control and in all that time she'd never been in this position.

But one weekend, one stupid, ill-advised weekend, she'd forgotten to take it. And now she was pregnant, trapped in a marriage she'd long wanted to escape from, and having the worst possible morning sickness to add insult to injury.

She sat back in the marled blue waiting room chair, glancing around at the other patients. The woman three seats down from her was cradling a newborn in her arms, softly humming to the fussing baby. Belle watched them for a moment, trying to picture herself similarly. It wasn't that she had anything against children, really. In theory, she would love to be a mother. When she was younger she'd thought for certain she would be. But when she was younger she also thought she'd live a life first, something more than twelve hour shifts at the diner, a small apartment, and a husband who had no idea that she had any dreams much less what they were. She'd never created anything, never found her calling, and never traveled much beyond the borders of Storybrooke, Maine. She had failed her younger self and now she was going to bring a baby into the world, someone who would depend on her when she could barely take care of herself. She was certain to fail them too.

She turned away from the serene picture of mother and baby, looking instead to the woman opposite her. She was young, blonde and looked to be about nine months pregnant, her t-shirt stretched tight over her swollen stomach and an air of utter exhaustion about her.

She caught Belle's eye, giving her a weary half smile that Belle returned before turning her attention back to her hands clasped on her lap.

"Belle, right?" the woman asked, calling Belle's attention back to her.

At Belle's puzzled look, she continued. "I'm Ashley Boyd. I was a couple years behind you at Storybrooke High."

"Oh," Belle said, the name sounding vaguely familiar. "Of course. Nice to see you again. And congratulations."

She motioned at Ashley's belly and the girl dropped a hand to caress it.

"Yeah," she said, a dreamy look crossing her face. "Not exactly planned, but I'm excited. It's a girl."

"Ah," Belle said, realizing she'd given no thought so far to the sex of her baby. To her it didn't much matter though she was sure Gary would want a boy, if she ever told him she was pregnant that is

"You're married to Gary Stone, aren't you?" Ashley asked, and Belle nodded. "God you two were the cutest couple in high school. I was always kind of jealous of you guys. You seemed so perfect."

Belle couldn't help the sarcastic little laugh that bubbled up from her throat, quickly masking it with a cough. Ashley didn't seem to notice.

"I'm serious," she continued. "He was the big man on campus, and you were this gorgeous bookworm valedictorian, it was like something out of a Taylor Swift song. You were amazing and always so nice to everyone."

Tears stung Belle's eyes at the memory of that girl, the one who was bold and kind and a little messy. She missed her.

"Mrs. Stone?" the nurse called, providing a blessed interruption to the conversation.

"That's me," Belle said, excusing herself.

After she was weighed and her vitals and blood taken, Belle found herself in a tiny exam room with an ultrasound technician. The woman squeezed a small amount of gel on her abdomen and used a camera to show her her baby. She was definitely pregnant, the little bean sized thing growing in her uterus confirmation of the fact.

She could feel the tears starting as she stared at the image on the screen and the technician gave her a big smile.

"Tears are totally normal," she said pleasantly. "I'll give you a moment and then the doctor will be in to speak with you."

Belle took a deep breath once the woman was gone, blowing it out of her nose and trying to calm herself. She hadn't realized that up until this moment she'd been hoping the home test had been wrong. She sat up on the exam table, wrinkling the thin paper sheet beneath her fingertips. What was she going to do?

"Mrs. Stone!" Dr. Whale said, entering the room jovially. "Congratu…"

"Let me stop you right there," Belle interrupted. "I know I'm supposed to be happy about this, and I really, really want to be, but right now I'm not. So if you could just not tell me congratulations, that would be great."

The look on Dr. Whale's face changed dramatically.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Stone," he said, crossing his arms. "If you'd like to explore your options, I can refer you to a clinic that handles abortions."

"No," Belle said. "I'm keeping it. I'm just not really excited and I don't want to feel like a bad person or a bad mother every time I come in for a check up. So I thought you should know and act accordingly."

Whale nodded. "Fair enough. Do you have any questions or concerns?"

Belle took a deep breath, preparing to ask the question that had haunted her since she took the home pregnancy test.

"Can you tell me how far along I am?"

"Sure," Whale said. "Judging from the date of your last period and the ultrasound, I'd say right at about 9 weeks."

Belle bit her lip, twisting her wedding ring around her finger compulsively.

"So could you tell when the baby might have been conceived exactly?"

Whale raised an eyebrow but otherwise gave no indication that her question was odd.

"Um, well, every woman's cycle is different so it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly. But I'd say sometime around the week of the 12th of February. I'm afraid I probably couldn't get much more accurate than that."

"Oh," Belle said, feeling numb.

"Not an unpopular time of year to make a baby," Whale continued. "What with Valentine's Day and all."

"Sure," Belle replied. She'd spent her Valentine's Day evening working the dinner shift at the diner and then gone home to find Gary passed out on the couch. February 12th however, that had been a different story.

Whale talked to her about prenatal vitamins and gave her a list of foods to avoid as well as a prescription for anti-nausea medicine before telling her he'd see her again in a month. Belle hurriedly got dressed and headed out, stopping at the reception desk to make her next appointment. She had to run home and shower before getting to the diner for the dinner shift at 3:00.

She slipped out of the office suite, still trying to be as unnoticeable as possible, when she bumped in to someone as the door swung open.

"Watch yourself," the woman snapped. Belle looked up to see Milah Gold glaring at her, her nose wrinkled up as though she'd just smelled something foul.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Gold," she said. The other woman just rolled her eyes, pushing past Belle and in to the doctor's office while Belle's heart hammered in her chest.


It was a relief to get to work that afternoon. She typically took the morning shift, but as she'd been unable to work that morning she'd decided to take the evening. She was also trying to pick up more shifts overall. An idea had bloomed in the back of Belle's mind the moment she'd seen the little bean on the ultrasound, one that made her hopeful yet slightly nauseous at the same time. She'd need more money to execute it.

It was a Monday night and the diner was slow which meant slow tips as well. Belle took a break around 7:00, slipping in to the hallway that led to the bathrooms. She counted out the cash she'd managed to accumulate in her apron pocket, separating out the bills, mostly ones, and felt her heart sink. This wasn't a great start on her plan.

She heard the door to the diner open, heralding new customers and she wadded the cash back up, thrusting it into her skirt pocket and pulling her notepad out to take orders. She came up short when she saw who had entered.

Mr. Gold and his wife were seating themselves at one of the booths that lined the wall of the diner, Mrs. Gold looking around with a critical eye.

"I haven't been here in years, Maxwell, and it certainly hasn't improved in the interim. Why are you so fond of this place again?" Belle overheard as she approached the table.

"I don't require cloth napkins and real silver as long as the food is decent," Gold returned, looking down at his menu.

"Yes, you always did like to slum," Milah said, casting an eye at Belle as she arrived at the table.

"Welcome to Granny's," she said dutifully. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"We've only just sat down," Milah snapped. "Give us a moment."

"Of course," Belle said, replacing her notepad in her apron pocket. "I'll just get you a couple of waters while you decide."

She retreated to the bar where Ariel was serving drinks to a few of the miners who'd come in after work. Her hair was tied back in a high ponytail, her cheeks flushed as she scurried back and forth with pints of beer and shots of whiskey. She pulled up short when she saw Belle, wiping her hands on a dish towel before throwing it over her shoulder.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just need two waters, please."

Ariel grabbed two glasses, filling them with ice water and handing them back to Belle.

"I don't think I've ever actually seen Mr. Gold's wife," she whispered. "Doesn't she spend a lot of time traveling?"

Belle shrugged. "We're lucky enough to have her in here tonight."

Ariel narrowed her eyes. "You don't like her? I guess she and Gold are a good match then."

"Yoo-hoo, waitress!" Milah called from across the diner. "We're ready now."

Belle shot Ariel a look of "I-told-you-so" before plastering a smile back on her face.

"Yes, ma'am," she greeted Milah, putting pen to notepad.

"The service here is just impeccable," Milah huffed, giving Belle the once over.

"Milah, please just order your food from the girl," Gold said wearily.

Belle blanched at being called a girl. Standing here in her waitress uniform and ponytail compared to Milah's designer dress and perfectly coifed hair made her feel young and naïve enough. She'd had an affair with a married man and here he was basically calling her a child in front of his wife. She'd never felt so stupid.

Milah gave Gold a simpering smile before turning back to Belle.

"I'll have the chef's salad, hold the chicken and the eggs."

"So you just want lettuce and tomatoes then?" Belle clarified.

"And the cucumber, look alive, girl."

"Great," Belle said. "And for you?" she asked Gold.

"Burger," he said succinctly. "Extra pickles."

"Really? With your cholesterol?" Milah asked before turning to Belle. "Bring him a salad instead of fries."

"Is that what you want?"

Gold looked up at her, the look in his eyes completely unreadable. She was suddenly very aware that the last time she'd spoke to him she'd told him to fuck himself.

"That's fine," he said finally.

Milah smiled at him, reaching across the table to take his hand. Belle almost thought she saw him wince.

"Anything to drink?" she asked after jotting down their order.

"Just bring a bottle of white wine," Milah said, not bothering to look at her.

Belle put their order in, cursing the fact that the diner wasn't busier for more than just the lack of tips. She couldn't distract herself with other tables and found her eyes constantly drawn to Gold and his wife.

She didn't know Milah well. She'd just seen her around town and had the occasional run in with her. Gold hadn't mentioned her much during their time together for obvious reasons. She was beautiful, tall and thin with thick dark hair and blue eyes. She certainly didn't look like the type of woman men strayed from. But, then again, Gary was as classically handsome as they came. Clearly looks weren't everything.

Milah raised her hand, snapping at her to get her attention and Belle had to suppress an eye roll. There was a special place in hell for people who were rude to wait staff.

"Took you long enough," Milah said as Belle arrived at the table. She'd moved from her seat across from Gold and was now sitting next to him on his bench. She had one hand entwined with his, her head resting on his shoulder. Belle noticed the wine bottle was almost depleted though Milah's salad looked like it had barely been touched.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"My husband can't get enough of your pie," Milah said.

Belle wasn't sure if Milah knew something or if the double entendre was unintentional. Either way she couldn't stop the blush creeping up her neck.

"He raves about them constantly," Milah continued, trailing her hand up Gold's arm. "What's your special today?"

"Banana cream," Belle answered.

Milah pulled a face. "Ick, I loathe banana."

"We also have cherry, pecan, and chocolate marshmallow tonight if any of those appeal to you."

Milah turned to Gold. "You're the expert on Belle's pies, darling. What would you choose?"

Gold was clearly uncomfortable but masking it well. He gave Belle an apologetic look.

"Cherry," he said.

"Of course," Milah said, planting a kiss on Gold's cheek. "One slice of cherry pie it is then, dear. Thank you."

Belle turned to fetch the pie but not before hearing Milah's stage whisper.

"Now I know why you like this place so much. She's exactly your type isn't she? Looks like me 10 years ago."

Belle quickened her pace to the kitchen, wanting to stay there and never come out again. There were so many emotions choking her she couldn't rightly sort them. Guilt certainly, embarrassment too, a fair amount of anger and something altogether foreign. Perhaps it was jealousy. But that was an emotion she had no right to feel at all.

In the end Milah only took one bite of the pie anyway, declaring it to be decent but nothing special and the Gold's left, Milah practically draping herself across her husband as he kept a steadying hand on her lower back.

As Belle watched them leave she decided on tomorrow's special.

Green With Envy Peppermint Pie.


It was almost midnight by the time Belle had ended her shift, cleaned up, and prepped everything in the kitchen for the next day's pies. Her feet were aching and she was so exhausted it was a miracle she was still standing upright. Luckily the anti-nausea medicine Dr. Whale had prescribed seemed to be keeping up its end of the bargain.

She let out a wide yawn, locking the diner behind her and starting the nearly a mile walk back to her apartment. If only Gary would let her take the car once in a while, it'd make things much easier. She couldn't imagine taking this walk after a long day on her feet at nine months pregnant.

Hopefully she wouldn't have to imagine.

She pulled out her tips for the night. The tip from the Gold's and a late night table of boys from the cannery had given her a bit more cushion. She separated out fifteen dollars, as much as she thought she could get away with, and tucked it into her bra. The rest went back in to her pocket.

If she could squirrel away just a few dollars from every shift, maybe she could save up enough to do…something.

It was early April and there was still a chill in the air, the night wind icy against her cheeks. Belle wrapped her sweater around herself, wishing she'd worn a coat.

Her worn in white tennis shoes slapped along the pavement and she stared down at them in disgust. There was a time when Belle had favored heels, brightly colored confections with wedges, block heels, and stilettos. They weren't practical for long hours at the diner though and she'd given them up. The only time she bought shoes these days was to replace her worn out Keds with a new pair. It was just another piece of herself she'd lost somewhere along the way. For a moment she entertained the thought of buying a pair of gorgeous heels just to wear around the house but she shut that down quickly. Gary would wonder where they money had come from.

She'd only gone a block when she heard the purr of an engine behind her, a rare enough thing to find a car out this late in Storybrooke. It wasn't as though there was much in the way of nightlife.

She glanced over her shoulder and sighed when she caught sight of Mr. Gold's gleaming Cadillac, utterly pristine, reflecting the glow of the passing streetlights. The car slowed to keep pace with her walking and the dark tinted driver's window rolled down revealing the man in question.

"Mrs. Stone, can I give you a ride home?" he asked, but Belle kept walking.

"I'm fine," she said. "Not much longer to go."

"I know where you live," Gold countered. "It's across town and it's freezing out. Please."

Belle stopped, weighing her options. She could get in the car with Mr. Gold, a choice that had only ever led to bad decisions on her part, or she could continue to walk home alone in the cold.

In the end, her sore feet won out.

Without a word she rounded the Cadillac, opening the passenger side door and slipping inside. It was warm, the heated seats doing more for her aching limbs than anything else ever could. She held her hands up to the heating vent gratefully.

Gold put the car into drive and they moved forward slowly down Main Street. They were quiet for the first few blocks until Gold broke the silence.

"I want to apologize for Milah's behavior tonight," he said finally. "She's never been very considerate of other people. It gets worse when she drinks."

Belle grunted a noise of acknowledgment. She wasn't disposed to feel charitable toward him at the moment.

"Is that why you were waiting for me? To apologize?"

"I wasn't waiting," Gold said, glancing her way then back to the road. "Just going for a drive to clear my head."

"Any particular reason it needed clearing?" she asked, watching him closely in the darkness. The lights from his dashboard cast a greenish glow across his skin. He looked otherworldly for a moment, like some beautiful, terrible creature from a children's story.

"I have to choose just one?" he said, his lips quirking up in a smile. "I suppose that would be Milah, trying to divine what she's after at the moment. She hasn't set foot in Granny's Diner in a decade but suddenly wanted to go tonight."

Belle's breath caught in her throat, her heart beating faster. Milah showing up tonight, her pointed barbs at Belle, did she know something? If it became public knowledge Gary would find out and…

"Do you think she suspects…" she trailed off, unsure of how to put into words what had happened between them.

Gold shook his head. "If she knew she'd have wasted no time in lording it over me. She'd have to recover from the shock of any woman having interest in me first."

Belle raised an eyebrow. "She certainly looked interested in you tonight."

Gold shook his head. "Milah only shows affection when she wants something, she just hasn't asked for it yet. For a long time it worked, but I've wizened up to her game."

Gold pulled in to the parking lot outside Belle's apartment building, putting the car into park, but she made no move to get out. They sat there is silence for a moment, no sound but the hum of the engine, the quiet noises of the night around them.

"So you're not happy," she asked finally, voicing a question she had never before dared to ask. "With her?"

Gold stared down at the steering wheel, his mouth flattened into a straight line.

"No," he said finally. "And I don't think we ever were. Not truly."

"Then why did you marry her?"

Gold snorted though Belle wasn't sure there was anything funny in her question.

"Because she was pregnant," he answered simply. "And I wanted to do the right thing. And Neal, well, he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I could never regret him."

Belle nodded hoping she would feel the same way about her own child, hoping they would be enough.

"Why did you marry Gary?" he asked, turning to face her on the bench seat.

Belle shrugged. There were reasons enough. She'd been young and naïve. She'd thought he loved her and she wanted to escape her father's house by any means necessary. She hadn't realized at the time she'd be trading one tyrant for another.

"Because I thought we wanted the same things," she said, settling on the most prominent reason. "He told me that we would travel and I could go to culinary school to become a real pastry chef and one day we'd open our own patisserie. He pretended to care about my dreams for so long that by the time I realized he didn't, I was in too deep."

"Then why do you stay?" his words were soft. It would have been easy to pretend she hadn't heard him, but she didn't.

"Because I'm pregnant," she said with a wry smile.

Gold inclined his head, the single streetlight illuminating the parking lot reflected off the silver in his hair and the stubble on his cheeks. He was so beautiful and even though she was angry with him for so much, she was still drawn to him too. They were both a little broken, worn down by life and this town and it had brought them together for a few stolen moments of beauty.

"What happened between us was a mistake."

His voice disrupted her train of thought, pouring ice water on her fond recollections.

"What? All six times?" she said with a fair amount of sarcasm. "I'm sorry, did you repeatedly trip and fall face first into my vagina?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I've said and the way I've treated you. You're brilliant and beautiful and you deserve more than I could ever give you."

"I don't feel very brilliant or beautiful," she said. "Nobody ever notices me that way. Not anymore."

She could feel the tears pricking her eyes and she stared up at the roof of the Cadillac, willing them not to fall.

"It's been a day," she said, still looking up at the roof.

"Yeah," Gold agreed.

It had been a hell of a day, from her appointment that morning to work to now. The reminder of the girl she'd once been, not recognizing the woman she'd become, it had all become too much. She wanted something secret, something that was hers, something to hold close in the middle of the night to keep her from completely dissolving into the gray background of her life. He had ended whatever was between them but he was here now and she just wanted to feel something.

She leaned forward, breaching the gap between them on the bench seat of his Cadillac. She took one, stuttered breath before pressing her lips against his. Gold didn't hesitate, kissing her back with a sigh, tension leaking from his body as he melted in to her.

He cupped her cheeks, pushing his hands into her hair, mussing her ponytail and tilting her face up so he could kiss her more deeply.

Her tongue pushed into his mouth, twining with his as his end of the day stubble rasped against her chin. He tasted like iced tea and peppermint and she suddenly knew she'd picked the right flavor for tomorrow's pie, even subconsciously.

His hands trailed down her neck, his fingers stroking lightly against her flesh, his touch somehow restrained. She wanted more of him. She wanted all of him. She wanted to have him right here in his car in the parking lot of her apartment where her no good, lousy husband was probably passed out drunk. She wanted to take her week's tips and buy a bus ticket out of town and never look back but for now she would take Gold's mouth and his hands and his cock and feel good for a few stolen moments.

Without another thought she straddled him, reaching down to grab the lever to recline his seat back and pushing him down flat. Gold gripped on to her hips, never breaking the kiss.

She ran her hands up his chest, over the silk fabric of his shirt, feeling the heat of him seeping through his clothes. She could feel him between her thighs, hard for her already. She felt powerful and wanted and…

He pulled back, holding a hand up to stop her from following.

"We can't do this now," he said, running one hand down her back, the other still holding her face. "I'm sorry, Belle. We can't."

Belle blinked, pulling back. And goddammit she just wanted to feel something even if it was the worst possible choice she could make.

He was still looking at her like at any moment something might shatter irreparably and she couldn't stand it anymore.

Without another word, she grabbed her bag and ran inside, not even bothering to slam the passenger side door.