Kid sat and watched the flames dance. Jimmy had finally eaten but it seemed more out of habit or something than out of any real awareness of what he was doing. Still his friend had not uttered a word since Kid had been there. Kid took it as a good enough sign that he could stay though. He felt better about being there. If someone did come upon Jimmy in this state, he wasn't sure if Jimmy'd be capable of defending himself and capable wasn't even the point, he probably wouldn't even try. Kid turned his head when he heard a heavy sigh. There was still no word from Jimmy and the other man's gaze never left that spot beyond the flames where it had been since before Kid had sat down.

"I know I'm risking another punch asking anything right now," Kid ventured, "But I feel like I have to. Who was she? I know you don't have to tell me but I still have to ask. I ain't ever seen you act like this. It's a little worrisome if I'm honest."

"Don't matter," was the whispered response that Kid almost thought he imagined.

"Obviously she does matter."

"I never said she didn't matter," Jimmy clarified sounding annoyed, "Just that it don't matter who she was. Not anymore it don't, anyway."

Kid was surprised at the waver in Jimmy's voice then. He had seen Jimmy emotional a handful of times but never this unguarded and he felt an even stronger need to be there to protect this man. He'd never feared for his own safety when Jimmy was around. Even in the beginning when they were just getting to know each other. He might have feared getting caught in the fallout from Jimmy's temper but never doubted the man would watch his back as if they were blood kin. He had always looked out for Jimmy as well, even when Jimmy doubted his motives. Right now though was a chance for Kid to truly keep his friend safe and be there for him. They had disagreements and probably always would but there was a respect between them that wasn't going to fade away any time soon and Kid believed it would always stand.

"If she matters then who she was matters," Kid said matter-of-factly, "I don't see how it wouldn't go both ways. But if you don't want to tell me, you can just say that."

"I don't want to talk about it at all," Jimmy said, "Not to anyone. I don't even want to think about it really and most days I manage that just fine. Today it got the better of me and reminded me that I can't forget it. Don't want to forget it either, don't want to forget her."

Jimmy stopped talking then. Kid waiting for more but realized that was all that would be said on the subject. He got Jimmy to lie down and hoped his friend would get some sleep.

Jimmy rolled over so Kid would think he fell asleep. He was grateful for someone caring for him even though he didn't deserve it. He'd tell him that once this hurt faded back into the background where it usually stayed. For now he thought of Delia. He allowed himself to think of her so little that he sometimes worried he would forget pieces of her. But no matter how much time passed, it seemed, he still remembered her soft scent, her musical lilting voice, her soft coal black curls and eyes the color of copper. Above all else, he remembered how her lips felt pressed to his.


That day on the picnic had been Jimmy's first and only real kiss at that time. He had been terrified to lean to her but she had not pulled away. She could have. His grip on her was not tight—his hands merely rested on her small waist—and she could have pulled away. She could have slapped him and called him a fool. Instead she pressed her lips back to his and held onto his arms. It felt good but it scared Jimmy a little bit. He hadn't paid nearly enough attention to his brothers when they had been around and now they weren't. His father would be no help. If he wanted to talk about the evils of slavery his dad would be all ears and wise words but asking about a girl, his father would be no help at all. Whatever came next he would have to figure it out on his own. It was a terrifying thought. He knew he wanted to touch her. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her hair. But still he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do and he wasn't sure what she would want him to do. She wasn't one of the girls at the saloon that his brothers used to talk about when he would try to ignore them. He didn't understand the appeal of women or girls or any female for that matter at the time. Now he wished he had paid attention. They spent time with nice girls too. Oliver had even courted and married before he left with his new wife. Jimmy thought maybe he would like to think about courting Delia but he didn't even understand what that meant to court someone and at their ages he was fairly certain that he would not be allowed to, nor would she be allowed to be courted.

When their lips had parted he felt like he lost a piece of himself. He had certainly thought himself whole before he had met Delia and now that he had met her, kissed her; he knew that he had been missing something that only she could provide. He had been missing her even though he hadn't known it until just then.

They rode in silence each contemplating what had happened between them. It seemed no words were needed. Delia looked from time to time at the sprig of flowers in her hand. They were lovely and thoughtful. She would put press them into her diary when she got home. They would forever be right next to where she wrote of her first kiss. There was no way to know where this would go between them but someday her grandchildren would go through that book and ask her about the beautiful flowers preserved between the pages and she would speak of the handsome young man who had offered such sweet words, who had blushed when she caught him looking at her and who had offered her the first taste of womanhood when he tenderly pressed his lips to hers. In her mind it would be the story of how she met their grandfather. They would probably be surprised at the romantic he had been to offer her the flowers with such sweet words but perhaps he would always be a bit of a romantic and they would think nothing of it. She fancied she could hear her someday granddaughter giggling and saying, "That sounds like Granddad alright."

Once Delia's house was in view, Jimmy prodded Dusty a little faster so that he would reach the front gate first. He jumped down and rushed to Sundance and stood there with his arms up in an offer to assist her from her mount. She smiled and leaned to him resting her hands on his shoulders and feeling his hands on her waist as he guided her body safely toward the ground.

Jimmy didn't know why he felt so compelled to do what he did. He'd seen her jump down from the horse's back many times. She was just a friend at those times, he reminded himself. Friends can jump down off their own horses and can climb up on their own as well. He didn't know what to call what she was to him but friend didn't cover it anymore and he could no longer sit idly by and watch her jump to the ground from Sundance's back. She could turn an ankle or worse and besides it was an excuse to touch her, to put his hands on her and feel her warmth and have an extra moment or two to look into her eyes. It was more than those things though. He somehow needed her to know that things were different for him. He needed her to know that they were still friends and he hoped always would be but that he was aware that she was a young lady. He needed her to know that their kiss meant something and he wasn't sure why but helping her from her horse seemed a way to say that without trying to find the words that he knew he couldn't make sound the way he wanted them to. He knew also that, while she was more than capable of getting to the ground herself, that a girl like her shouldn't have to. He probably should have been helping her all along. She surely found him rude and not nearly enough of a gentleman to waste her time with. But perhaps she'd let him make it up to her now if he could show her he did indeed know how to treat a lady.

The chivalrous action bewildered Delia. There was an understanding within her that something had changed between them when their eyes met in that moment before she allowed hers to close as his lips made contact with hers. It was a good thing that no words or conversation was required on their ride home for she was suddenly nervous and shy around him and yet she wanted to spend every waking moment with him and her mind from somewhere in the back hinted that maybe she would someday even wish to spend her non-waking hours with him as well. She'd been about to jump down from Sundance's back when she looked to see him looking uncertainly up at her with his arms raised. It might never be confessed outside of her diary but she was grateful as her own nerves made her fear for the stability of her legs. So unsure was she when she reached for him and yet all doubts and nerves fled once her hands rested on his shoulders. While Jimmy still had the look of a boy not yet fleshed into a man, his shoulders were already broadened. Delia could in fact still picture in her mind's eye the muscles rippling under his skin as he worked shirtless that morning. Those muscles could hold her safely. She could rely on the owner of those shoulders, rest her head on those shoulders and perhaps even cry and confess her fears and heartaches upon those shoulders. Those shoulders and the muscles beneath could support them both, she was sure of it.

Once on the ground Delia felt no rush to walk away and Jimmy felt even less of one to remove his hands from her waist.

"Thank you," she said shyly when she finally found her voice again. There was none of the bold confidence she normally radiated. That was all from trying to emulate Elizabeth anyway. Her sister did not merely act confident, she was. Boys fell all over Elizabeth from even before her debut. They fought over who could carry her packages for her, who would bring her punch or tea cakes at the dances and socials. Delia tried so hard to be like Lizzie but it never rang true coming from her. Jimmy was the first it seemed to take notice of her at all. At first she was just glad to have a friend and then to have a boy see her as a young lady. Now she was grateful it was him she had stumbled upon. He was so sweet. If she had happened upon a different boy, today might not have been the dream day it had turned into. Another boy might have seen her boldness and the way she spoke as an invitation to be equally bold. Jimmy looked as unsure as she felt. She knew he wanted more from her than the gentle kiss but she had an inkling that he knew as little of the more that was out there as she did. That suited her just fine. They could figure things out together and someday would look back over the years of their togetherness and laugh at how innocent they had once been. But right now she could not conjure her usual demeanor and she could see in his eyes that she would never need to again—not for his benefit anyway. Her shy and tentative self was just fine to him, she thought, and that made her even happier.

"I, uh," Jimmy began and was able to mask a crack in his voice as an attempt to clear his throat so that when he continued it would be in the new lower register his voice was trying out. He hoped it wasn't as low as his voice was planning on getting because it still wasn't all that deep but it was lower than it had been and sounded manlier, he thought. "I had a nice time, Delia. This was a good idea you had."

His eyes shifted from hers as he had run out of things to say even though he knew he was just talking for the sake of talking anyway. He just wanted more reasons to stay right there with his hands on her waist and her body almost close enough to touch his. Her hands were still on his shoulders and he thought that they probably almost looked as if they might start dancing at any moment, not that he knew how to dance or anything.

"I had a nice time too," she said softly, "Thank you for the flowers. They are lovely."

"I can see you again, can't I?" he asked her.

"I would like that very much," she answered, "You tell me where and when and I will be there."

"Can you come to my house after lunch tomorrow? I have to help Celinda keep an eye on Lydia so I can't go anywhere else."

"I think that sounds wonderful," she told him, "I would love to meet your sisters. Maybe they will like me more than your father does."

"He won't be there so you don't have to worry about him," Jimmy rushed to tell her, "He's got some Vigilance Committee meeting or something. That's why I have to keep track of my sisters."

The two looked around knowing there wasn't anything to say but that they did not want to part just yet. Jimmy knew he did have to leave though. He could not be late for supper or he'd be in trouble.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

It was a statement but it came out more as a pleading question.

"I will be there," she replied placing her hand on the side of his face as if convincing herself he was real, "I know it might sound silly but I think I will miss you until then."

She averted her eyes as if embarrassed to have voiced such a thing. Jimmy took her hand from his face and held it a moment.

"I don't think that's silly at all," he assured her, "I know I'll miss you."

"Will you really?" she asked and cursed how desperate she sounded.

"Yeah, I really like you, Delia."

"I like you too," she nearly whispered as she took up Sundance's reins and headed toward her house. She stopped once on her way to the stable to look behind and watch Jimmy walking away. She thought he seemed to be walking lighter, with a spring in his step one might say. If she had turned only moments earlier she would have seen him looking at her.

Jimmy made his way home as if walking on air and once there saw to Dusty whistling as he did so. She liked him. She said so even. She had kissed him back and she said she would miss him. He was happier than he had ever been or thought he could be. He was also terrified. Suddenly everything seemed so important. He had told her he liked her. She could have laughed in his face. She didn't but she could have and he wasn't sure he could handle anything like that. He now worried what they would talk about when she came the next day. He worried his sisters would embarrass him and he worried that she thought his father didn't like her. Jimmy was sure she was wrong. His father probably didn't pay her enough mind to like or dislike her. She just didn't know him well enough to know that.

Delia walked into her house after leaving Sundance in the stables with Lemuel. She went in the back placing her right in the kitchen where Jessamine already had pots bubbling with wonderful smelling things for their dinner. Delia lifted one of the lids.

"I thought I smelled your glazed carrots, Mammy," Delia said with a smile as she snatched a cookie from the jar on the counter. "You spoil me."

"You's my weakness, Miss Delia," the plump woman said wiping her arm over her shiny brow. A few strands of her kinky black hair had escaped her kerchief tied around her head and remained plastered to the damp skin on the side of her face. "You's always been my weakness. I could say no to Miss Elizabeth and even Mr. Ephraim. But I ain't never been able to say no to you."

"It's because I love you," Delia said earnestly as she poured a glass of lemonade and handed it to the other woman. "Is there anything I can do to help you in here, Mammy? You look worn completely out."

"I can still do my job, Miss Delia," the older woman cautioned, "You can tell me what's got that smile on your pretty little face though. You been moping the whole way across the country and now you smiling like God done spilled the riches of heaven on your head."

"I think he might have," Delia said taking a sack of green beans from Jessamine and beginning to snap them into a bowl. "I am in love, Mammy. Really and truly, I am in love. I think he feels the same too."

"I don't s'pose it'd do much good to tell you that you's too young to be in love," Jessamine said wearily.

"Mammy," Delia said exasperated, "Love knows no age. And you haven't met him. Jimmy's so sweet and dear. I think you'd like him."

"You don't need to mix yourself up with no young men, Miss Delia. They only want one thing from a girl and you's way too young for none of that."

"He's not like that, Mammy. You can't say such things about someone you don't even know."

"You just be careful of this Jimmy," Jessamine warned, "I didn't raise you up to see you ruined and get your heart broke by the first handsome face that talks nice."

"Do I need to remind you that you are not my mama?"

"No you don't, Miss Delia," Jessamine answered, "If'n I was your mama I'd have you locked in your room until you was marrying age."

"Oh you would not," Delia smiled at her, "You know you could never be so stern or cross with me."

Delia rose and turned as if to leave the room but then stopped and turned back to Jessamine.

"Perhaps I could bring him to meet you sometime. You could see for yourself then. People aren't the same here as Charleston. He's not like anyone I have ever met, Mammy. He has the sweetest, shyest smile I have ever seen on a young man. I just know you'd love him."

Jessamine merely harrumphed and gave Delia a light shove.

"You get on and wash up for dinner," she told the girl, "You best change your clothes too before you have to explain where you was riding that big yellow horse all day."

That night Jimmy was alone in his bed with not a thought in his head but the ones Delia had put there. He thought of her hair and eyes and her sweet scent. But then he couldn't get out of his head the words his father had spoken over supper.

"That girl that came today, Jimmy," he had begun, "I haven't seen her around town before. I don't believe I caught her name."

"Cordelia," Jimmy said willing his voice not to crack under his father's scrutiny, "Cordelia Bell."

"Where is this Cordelia Bell from?"

"Ch-Charleston, South Carolina," Jimmy answered suddenly realizing there were right and wrong answers and he wasn't sure but he thought the ones he had to offer might be wrong.

"How many slaves does she own? How many work at that big old house they live in?"

"Delia wouldn't own slaves," Jimmy had said, shocked at the very idea. She had spoken of the dignity of all. There is no way such a sweet and kind girl would own other people and surely those who raised her to be the way she was couldn't either.

His father had spoken no more on the subject. Jimmy had expected to be told to not see her again but there was no threat, no ultimatum, no forbidding of his friendship with Delia. Still the doubt was now in his mind. They were from Charleston and they were obviously well-to-do and wealthy families in the south owned slaves. But she had kissed him and she had spoken so sweetly to him and she had overlooked every time his voice tried to betray him. She looked at him as if she had just discovered the world since knowing him. He knew that was how it felt for him. She changed how he looked at everything around him. He was even nice to his sisters today. Celinda was a good cook, she'd had to learn since their mama had died but tonight Jimmy had told her so. Her smile was so bright when he said what he had and Jimmy suddenly felt protective of her. She was only two years younger than he was and soon other young men would see that smile and want to kiss her and help her off of a horse and Jimmy decided he was going to need to get even better at shooting before she started offering those smiles to the boys in town.


Jimmy finally must have gotten some sleep. When he woke he saw Kid was already awake and readying their things to head back to the station. Kid turned to him when he heard Jimmy moving around.

"Morning," Kid said handing over a cup of coffee, "You slept terrible last night, you know. Kept tossing and turning…and talking to someone it sounded like. Anyway, sleep or no sleep, if I don't get you back to pull your weight with chores and take your ride this afternoon, things are going to get mighty cranky back to home."

"I wasn't planning on staying out here forever," Jimmy grumbled and it sounded weird to Kid mostly because it was the first words he had heard Jimmy say since the night before when his friend had gone oddly silent all of a sudden. "I ain't going to make no one do my work for me."

"I know you wouldn't," Kid told him gently and then dared to ask one question. "Her name was Delia?"

"Cordelia," Jimmy clarified, "I called her Delia though."

There was something in his tone that said that was all that would be said on the subject. He stood and headed toward Sundance and he grimaced as he thought of the horse's name. Like sun dancing on wheat fields…she had said it and it was true but it didn't make the memory hurt less.


And the plot thickens...Oh but they are so sweet with their budding love! I adore these two. I do apologize for the random and seemingly irregular updates on stories recently...we've had some nasty heat here that kept me from focusing and the wedding of the year (for our family since it is my daughter getting herself hitched) is in two weeks. I have so much to do in that time! So things might still be sporadic until after the wedding. But then watch out! I will be able to more fully focus on the writing!-J