Disclaimer: Not mine. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing at all!

Fonts: Harry/Hermione/Ron/Malfoy

A/N: No, this is not Malfoy! ;P When the story starts people, calm down. Behold Chapter 3!

Chapter 3: Herbology (COS)

Hey Mudblood!

Hey git! Don't call her that!

What are you going to do about it, Potty?

Harry, Shush. What do you want Malfoy?

Just thought I'd grace you with a conversation before something happens to you.

And, what exactly, is going to happen to me?

Oh, I don't know for sure, Mudblood-

Shut up Malfoy, or I'll make you eat slugs!

Like you did last time? Anyway, as I was saying, before Weasel beak interrupted me here, the Chamber of Secrets is open, and you might get petrified, or even better, killed! So I thought I'd grace you with my Malfoy Charm before you die. It'll be the best thing that ever happened to you anyways...

Malfoy, I'm going to kill you-

Me too!

-Very brutally!

We are going to chop your head off-

-gouge out your eyeballs-

-shave all your hair off-

-pick out your teeth-

-chop off your tongue-

-skin you-

-send your eyeballs, teeth and tongue to your parents by post, with detailed pictures of your murder-

-and stick your head on a stake-

-then serve your body parts, yes, including your testicles,-

-on platters and feed them to Crabbe, Goyle (God knows these two will eat anything!) and Snape.

You guys would get chucked in Azkaban...

Not with Hermione on our side. She'll get rid of all the evidence, so no one will ever find out!

Or we'll frame Pansy. We'll say: 'It must have been her! I heard Draco rejected her...'

You wouldn't...

Try us.

You really don't want to though. For your own good...

...

Malfoy?

...

Malfoy?

...

Draco Malfoy? Greatest of all Slytherins?

...

He's so gone.

That was-

BLOODY BRILLIANT!

You think?

Of course! Watch the coward cry his eyes out...

Revenge is sweet.

Agreed my friend.

Once again, the Golden Trio saves the day!

The what?

Oh... That's what people call us. Or at least, that's what Parvarti Patil told me.

Oh... I like that... It's cool!

(H/R/Hr) Once again, the Golden Trio saves the day!