Chapter 3 - Enter Moleman

A couple of hours had passed since Gruntilda kidnapped Tootie, and Banjo and Kazooie had no idea where to start looking to find her. Fortunately, they weren't without help. Traveling via underground tunnels a la Bugs Bunny, Bottles the Mole showed up to lend a helping hand to our heroic but desperate duo.

"Hello there," said Bottles after popping up from a newly-formed molehill in Banjo's front yard. "I'm Bottles. I heard a lot of racket earlier when I was eating at the underground McJiggy's earlier, and I was just wondering what the heck it was all about."

"Hold it," answered Kazooie from Banjo's pack. "You eat at McJiggy's? They suck! Everybody knows that Jinjo King is better. They have a drive- thru, a fly-thru, a swim-thru --"

"Kazooie!" shouted the angry Banjo.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"My friend here is Kazooie, and I'm Banjo. This witch kidnapped my sister and we have no idea how to find her!"

"She's probably in her lair up there." Bottles pointed to the top of Spiral Mountain, where there was a large rock formation shaped like Gruntilda's head with an entrance in the mouth.

"I don't know how we missed that," answered Banjo.

"It happens," Bottles responded.

"Well, we better get going," Banjo said hastily. "We have to rescue Tootie!"

"Not so fast, hot shot! You probably don't even know how to defend yourselves."

"We'd be better than you, jam jars!" shouted Kazooie.

"Leave my brother out of this," Bottles responded with a growing twinge of anger in his squeaky voice. "Hey Banjo, let's see a jump."

Banjo made an attempt at jumping which would embarrass a pumpkin. "I guess I'm not that good at jumping," said an embarrassed Banjo.

"I can teach you to jump better. Here, press the A button twice."

"What are you talking about?" asked the very annoyed bear.

"Oh, sorry...I must have eaten too many Jiggybiggy Macs. I'm a little off track today."

"I can tell," replied Kazooie.

"Okay, now Banjo, when you jump, put all your leg strength into it. Push hard against the ground and just let yourself soar." Banjo did so, and with much more impressive results than before.

"Hey," said the suprrised bear. "It worked!"

"It's gonna take a while," started Bottles. "So take notes."

Bottles taught the pair of adventurers to move quicker, attack with precision, and jump to new heights, all with his own knowledge of physics and old Bruce Lee movies. After an hour of training, Bottles had Banjo and Kazooie ready for battle against any monsters they would encounter in Gruntilda's lair...and there were plenty of those to go around.

"Thanks Bottles," said the gracious Banjo. "You really helped us out."

"Yeah, you're not a bad guy," admitted Kazooie. "Except for the shortness and the poor eyesight."

"I'm not listening..." Bottles retorted. "Now meet me at the top of the mountain and I'll tell you more." With that, Bottles hopped back into his molehill and tunneled off.

"Let's go climb that mountain, Kazooie. I'll need your feathery flapping to help me get up there, you know." Banjo looked at the mountain and realized that there was no way he could have climbed it without the help of Bottles' tactics. So, the bear-bird duo ascended the massive corkscrew mountain and reached its peak all in a few short minutes.

"You made it," applauded Bottles, although not surprised. "Now, Gruntilda's lair is all the way over there, across that rickety bridge. You'll need to walk carefully or else you'll fall right through it and never be able to get up there. Not to mention the fact that I'll have to peel you off the grass, which I will not appreciate doing."

"Okay goggle boy," said Kazooie. "We get the point."

"Kazooie!" Banjo shouted, then turned to Bottles. "Will you be able to help us any more in there? These moves you taught us may not help us if we have to fight that witch. I mean, she can fly around and shoot spells at us, and we can't do much yet."

"Not to worry, Banjo. As you progress through there, you'll be needing better moves, and I'll be there to teach them."

"Teach us now, you dork!" crowed Kazooie.

"Banjo, resist the urge to strangle that feathery thing in your backpack," Bottles warned. "It hurts to admit it, but you'll be needing her."

"Why, you cheeky..." Kazooie resisted her urge to peck goggle boy.

"I'll see you at Mumbo's Mountain," said Bottles. "Good luck!"

"Thanks Bottles. We'll need it!" Bottles hopped underground and tunnelled off again, and Banjo began crossing the bridge, preparing himself for the unexpected things he and Kazooie would face ahead.