There were eighty-three vents, twenty-eight screws, five blades, and four bulbs in the ceiling fan above my bed. Great. I rolled onto my side, trying to avoid thinking about the…coffee situation. Providing undeniable proof of why I was unable to sleep. Chills ran down my spine, and my nipples hardened thinking about his reaction this afternoon. Huffing a sigh, and reaching under the blankets, I pulled my panties off and threw them across the room. This was getting old; I'd never gone through so much underwear in my life. Another good pair of expensive lingerie ruined.
Yesterday, I had fled the room feeling like I was going to burst into tears, packed up my things in my office and left. I told Figgins I wasn't feeling too well, and I'd been in bed ever since. I tried as hard as I could to ignore the…noticeable bulge in the front of his pants, and that expression on his face. But the truth was…I didn't know whether I was more mortified, or turned on.
I sighed in the middle of the night, the stark room making my soft voice sound harsh. Mortified, definitely.There would be no way I could face him tomorrow without probably…projectile vomiting on him, or something.
This had to stop. Seriously this time. I had two choices; magically grow more confidence to get this plan going, or cowardly back away, and fail the mission. Fail my therapist, fail myself.
I guess I knew what I had to do.
When I had finally fallen asleep, getting ready for work the next morning was another challenge. I decided I would have to go shopping on the weekend to make things easier for myself. Instead of shuffling through the floral and bows, I dug straight to the back, where everything unknown was hung. Where all of the price tags had yet to be ripped off.
I discovered a black wrap dress which had a modest neck line, and though extremely form fitting, a modest length also. There was nothing too revealing about it, but then again I didn't want Will to think I was asking for it.
I am so asking for it.
For once I scooped my hair up into a loose French twist, letting a few tendrils from it cascade down my neck, realizing that Will hadn't seen my hair up before.
It exposed my neck, and for once, I accepted a small change.
I felt a mixture of confidence and mortification when I arrived at school. Will hadn't arrived yet. A part of me was willing to ask him and get it over and done with, and the other half wanted to hide in the nooks and crannies of McKinley and hopefully never see him again.
I felt like I could never get one without the other.
Counseling the kids was a distraction, but only a dull one. At lunch, I would ask him. I would finally begin my therapy. The real question is who really knows the difference between intimacy and affection? Would I be able to separate my obvious feelings for him, from…friends with benefits?
My stomach twisted.
Placing my face in my palms, I realized I was having an emotional breakdown. Why was I allowing this to get to me? "Emma, any man who wouldn't accept this offer would be crazy." I just had to remember this.
I knew I needed guidance.
Hastily punching the numbers into the phone in my office due to the lack of my cell phone, I dialed Dr. Shane's number.
"Hello, this is Doctor Shane, do you have an appointment?" Her calm voice filtered through the telephone line, and I felt relieved already.
"Dr. Shane, it's Emma." I bit my lip nervously, wondering what exactly I wanted to ask her.
"Ah, hello Emma, how is your co-worker situation going?" She asked, intrigued. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, but I knew I had to. He's more than just a co-worker.
"I'm having trouble," I said nervously, "I'm just not sure how to…address it, if you know what I mean."
"Emma, I thought we went through this." I sunk down into my chair, feeling like I was a small child being chastised. "Have you put your opinion forward yet? Have you told him how he's affecting you?" I blushed, knowing exactly how he affected me.
"No. I always seem to run into…obstacles," Quite literally. I bit my lip, chewing on it slowly before releasing it. "It just hasn't been the right moment yet." I lied.
"Emma, if you're always waiting for the right moment, it's going to pass you by before you know it, or you'll just be too nervous to go through with it in the first place."
"But I'm finding it so difficult. I…I get nervous when I see him." I admitted. God, this situation sounds so screwed up. It's sounds even worse when a therapist repeats it back to you.
"Emma. If you can't tell him, show him what you want. Take initiative. Make sure you're the one in control." The phone line went dead, and I found myself staring at the receiver. Did my own, paid therapist just hang up on me? Screw you, Dr. Shane.
I hated to admit it, but she was right. I needed to take initiative. I needed to ignore these stupid butterflies in my stomach, and the way that my pulse rapidly increased around his presence.
It's time to get down to business.
The bell signaling lunch rang, and I marched down the corridors, I sat down at our usual table, (Will, Shannon, myself, and occasionally Sue's), quietly confident. Determined. Shannon came in with an entire chicken today, and I smiled at her as she sat down. Yet we didn't say anything - I was too focused on the task at hand. Will entered the room, swinging his laptop bag around to the front as I noticed him.
He sat down, and the butterflies made themselves known. Damnit. Don't projectile vomit, Emma. Do anything but projectile vomit.
I looked at him and sucked my lip into my mouth again. Nervous. His eyes stopped at mine, and slowly made their way down to my mouth, and back up again. I swallowed slowly.
He let out a gush of air, and said 'Hey,' softly.
Munching on her chicken, Shannon said "Hey Will." Will didn't take his eyes from me but acknowledged her with a nod. My cheeks were growing hot under his gaze, and I broke it off, essentially breaking the buzz that was forming between us. I took a moment to acknowledge what he was wearing, my gaze travelling down his body, he was wearing a tight white button down and black dress pants.Oh god, not helping my resolve.
Will swallowed as I released my lip, and was all of a sudden digging into his laptop bag. Shannon was too focused on her food, and he slid a piece of paper over the table. Passing notes seemed to be our thing lately.
I unfolded it, worried about what it would say.
Emma, I didn't appreciate you rubbing my hard-on yesterday.
Emma, I'm suing you for sexual harassment.
Emma, I'm in the lengthy process of filing a restraining order.
I scanned over it with my eyes. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I don't know what to say, Emma." I read it, and sighed in relief. No restraining order. No court hearing.I sent him a relieved look, and he cocked his eyebrow the way he always does.
Shannon began talking to Will, and his full attention turned to her, occasionally glancing at me to check. I had my fist curled under my chin, elbow resting on my crossed legs, staring at Shannon but secretly thinking of how I was going to do this.
Flirt.
Here we go.
I kicked off my shoes under the table, and crept my toe up to Will's ankle, snaking underneath the hem of his pants.
Will's eyes shot to mine, and I bit my index finger, smiling at him. Will had a concerned look on his face, but turned back to Shannon, checking more frequently on my expression.
You can do this.
He turned back to Shannon, "Yeah, I mean you're the best thing that has happened to the football team, it was better already once Ken was gone."
As I crept my toe up Will's pant leg, I kept my eyes focused on Shannon. I could see his expression in the corner of my eye, and I didn't think he was breathing.
Will took a quick glance under the table, and I had to refrain from laughing by tonguing the inside of my cheek. He sent me a warning look, and I piped in a conversational line into their conversation, ignoring Will's desperate calls for my attention.
My foot was now at his thigh, and he took a swig of water and ran a hand through his hair. I rubbed his thigh, and I noticed him slip his left hand under the table. Suddenly I felt something warm touch the skin of my ankle. I jumped slightly at the contact. The position I was in wouldn't allow me to scoot down to check. He traced his fingertips in light circles around my anklebone, causing it to twitch slightly.
I walked my toes up to the inside of his thigh, and Will's hand never left my ankle. I heard him coughing, and I ground my teeth, waiting to get another reaction out of him.
"So how are the glee kids going?" Shannon asked, and as I continued my palpitations, I smirked at him. He sent me another warning glance, and I smiled innocently at him. He closed his eyes momentarily, and sunk down a little bit in his chair. His hand was tight around my ankle. He was sending messages through his eyes. Stop.
"Yeah, they've been on a high since nationals," He shot a fleeting glance at me, "They were unbelievable in Ne-" I pressed my foot into his crotch and bit my lip so hard I thought it was going to draw blood. He suddenly choked on the water he was drinking and began spluttering.
"Are you alright, Will? You seem a bit distracted today." Shannon asked, and I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Will widened his eyes at me, and mentioned that he was alright to Shannon.
I slowly rubbed his length up and down devilishly, and from a quick glance, I could tell that Will's breathing was labored. Paying no attention to Shannon anymore, he looked directly at me with the look. Mouth slightly open, I could hear his breathing. Still sucking my lip into my mouth, I watched his eyes shoot daggers at me.
Where did all of this confidence come from? Thank god for paid therapists.
"Yeah, Will, are you okay?" I asked with faux concern, and he nodded with venom in his gaze. I brought a tissue up to my mouth to hide myself laughing, my shoulders shaking as I rubbed his
crotch.
Will's hand grabbed my ankle tight again, and pressed it more firmly into his own crotch. My eyes widened, and I looked at him in shock. He watched my red face begin to redden.
From what I felt, and the look in his eyes, Will had an aching hard on.
Shannon began talking again, but I found it quite obvious that Will was hardly paying any attention to her at all, only throwing in very few conversational lines, she was practically talking to herself.
"Shannon," He said gruffly, looking directly at me, "We have to go sort something out with Sue." He lied, and my pulse increased. I removed my foot from his crotch, and he released my foot. I tucked it back into my shoe and we both stood up at the same time. My mouth popped open slightly as Will moved around to my side of the table, maneuvering my body, and holding me around the waist with his hands, forcing me to walk in front of him. I could feel his erection pressing against my ass. I knew he was doing it so he could hide his…issue.
My heart raced, and it felt like it was pumping out of my throat. Will slid his hands to my hips as I walked in front of him. I didn't know where we were going, but he seemed to be guiding me somewhere.
Is this the beginning of it?
"What was that?" He asked, whispering lowly into my ear, and I smirked slightly, trying to hide my self-pride.
To tell you the truth, in that moment, there was no way I could match an expression an emotion. I had no idea what Will was thinking. We came to an empty classroom, and Will finally released his hands from my hips, sliding them away, and flipped on the light switches to an empty classroom. I stood against a wall awkwardly, and he sat on a desk. I tried as hard as I could to not look at the…tent, in his pants.
"I think we have something to discuss." He whispered, and I could feel my own body shaking.
Oh god, what if it was too much?
"What would that be?" I said quietly back, trying to keep my breathing even. Will walked over to me, sighing a deep breath. He looked like he was internally debating something, and all of a sudden pressed his body against mine.
A whoosh of air escaped my lungs in a shallow breath and I wondered if he could feel how fast my heart was racing.
"What do you want?" He murmured quietly into my neck. I was finding it very difficult to string sentences together.
Asdfghjklkjhgfdsa.
"I don't know," I admitted desperately, as I said this, my hips moved of their own accord and ground into his body. I let out a groan at how flawlessly our bodies seemed to fit together, and he pressed his nose into my neck, taking in a shallow breath. His hands came to my hips to stop them from moving, and I felt my heart sink a little bit, feeling a pattern of rejection.
Is this real life?
The raw electricity between our bodies was eating away, and I didn't know how to handle this. How would I ask him? Would he say yes? I took a shaky, steadying breath.
"I have to ask you something," I admitted, closing my eyes.
How do I ask someone this?
Will didn't say anything, but I wasn't sure what to say. "How would you feel about…helping me with something?"
Hello again wemmites, I sent all of the logged in reviewers a PM, thankyou so much to everyone who has favourited, story alerted, reviewed. Your feedback really helps a lot, and I love chatting to you guys. Hope you enjoy this chapter. A new update will be up soon!
