Author's Note: Not to get your hopes up but Sara isn't in this chapter either. I promise this story will, at some point, be a balance of both Greg and Sara but starting next chapter, you get a few dedicated chapters for Sara before their stories start to overlap and then the real fun begins!!

Oh and yes, more revisions. I am adding a few things here and there as well but nothing that changes the story by any means. But if you want to read the new and improved version of this fabulous story, go right ahead.

- - - - -

"I remember my childhood. Or what I think is all of my childhood."

Grissom looked up at Greg. It had been almost three months since Greg and him had the discussion in his office about who he used to be and how his memory was starting to come back. As Greg walked in and dropped down in the chair, a case file in hand, Grissom dropped his pen on a stack of paperwork. "And?"

"And I do feel different. The coolest part? I was just watching TV when I saw Speed Racer on Cartoon Network and I laughed and remembered how I watched it as a child. It wasn't like I had any big flashback, it was just like I knew it like I always had. Like I never lost it. That's what was weird about when I finally watched TV for the first time after my accident and I couldn't remember what I liked watching so luckily my TiVO did but it was just cool that I woke up this morning and remembered how I grew up. So to test out to see if it was for real I called my Papa Olaf and he asked me some questions and–"

"Greg, you're rambling."

"Sorry." He paused just long enough to grin and bounce a little in his seat, much like a young child would do. "But maybe this is for real Grissom. Maybe I really will be me again at some point. Do you think so?"

Grissom had been too busy thinking about what was before him to really pay attention to Greg's rambling. This was the most he had ever seen Greg be Greg in almost two years. The grinning and the fidgetiness and speed talking and that grin...it was eerie. He smiled to himself as he thought back to the last time he had seen Greg since before the accident and began to thank whoever was up there for returning Greg to him.

"Gris?"

Grissom snapped his head up. "Oh, uh, yes. I do. I do think that over time, you will regain most of what you have lost. From what I can see, you have started to slip back into your old self."

Greg's head tilted to the side, his face lighting up with his half smile. "I decided not to try and call Sara."

Just like that, the atmosphere in the room shifted. He half expected Greg to sober up a little, but the grin never faded from his face. Grissom knew it had been eating away at his young CSI for the past three months at least, most likely the past two years, but he seemed to be ok with it. In fact, he seemed quite happy about it. "What changed your mind?"

"She's the one who left."

"Ok." He could feel it coming. "But..."

"But she left because of me." His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out, again, how he had reached his excellent logic just last night. "So maybe I should call. Maybe I have to make the first move, so to speak. But I think she partially left out of guilt for what happened. In the end actually, I should be waiting for her phone call. No, I'm not going to call her. I'll wait for her. I can deal with her not being in my life."

"Are you happy with not having her in your life?"

Greg crumbled before his eyes. "No."

"What is going to make you happy?"

It was a moment before he answered. "Building a time machine and going back to the day of that crime scene and telling her no, that I couldn't help with that scene."

"What's Plan B then?"

"Being a father to Alicia. Marrying Sara. Remembering."

And there he was again, watching Greg shove his way out of his chair and pacing the small, cluttered office. But he could pick up on old Greg's little habits.

Old Greg?

That is indeed what he had become to Gil. Even if Greg regained all of his memory, he would be the new Greg. There would always be the old Greg and new Greg to Grissom. To everyone else. He could wear his hair the same way, listen to the same music, have the same clothing style, crack the same jokes, play the same games as before, but it would never go back to the way it was before. Ever.

Grissom looked up to see Greg studying his butterflies pinned up in their shadow boxes, fingers grazing along the glass. "I felt like this for a while. Like I was pinned up for everyone to study. To examine. To freakin' pity. I never want to be like that again Grissom. And part of me knows that if I tried to right my life and win Sara back, everyone is going to be sitting there; watching, examining, whispering, waiting for me to fail again. Because that's what happens to Greg Sanders. He finally begins to get out in the field and what happens? I didn't even know who I was, that's what happened. And even before that, he starts to get his shit together in the lab and what happens? He blows himself up." He subconsciously rubbed the wounds on his back. His eyes met Grissom's for a split second, and he could see the panic in his boss' eyes. "Yeah I remember that. I remembered it in a dream the other night. I had this dream and it was just my memory playing over and over again. And when I woke up I just knew that's what had happened. That gap in my memory magically filled and I just knew, like I had never forgotten in the first place."

It was happening so fast, after so much time of nothing happening. Of Greg struggling and fighting and losing and nothing coming of it. When he had finally just accepted it; accepted his life and lack of memory and loss of love. When Greg had finally gotten his life back on track, settling into his routine after all this time. As soon as the man finally grasped hold of everything and got it under control, it all came tumbling back. In one fleeting moment, Greg's life had been flipped on its head again.

"I remember everything about the case Grissom. I remember the drugged haze of everyone visiting. Catherine telling me everything that had happened; how it was her fault. I remember the feeling of the glass under my face and hands, my back and face burned. I could feel my body spinning through the air, smashing the glass as I was thrown thru the wall and dumped carelessly in the hallway. And I can see Sara, not that far from me, and the panic and terror in her eyes before I passed out. I have to live that again Gris."

Greg dropped back down into his chair, grabbing his spiked hair in his fists. "Why is this happening?!"

"Greg..."

He put his hand up to silence the older man. "Don't Greg me. Please. I don't want or need any more pity. I just want everything to be back to normal."

"Greg. Things can't be–"

"I know, I know. Things can't be normal again."

"I'm sorry Greg. I really am."

"It's all coming back so fast. I just remember things all of a sudden and I don't even realize it. I was talking to Nick about how he had been hearing this weird noise at his house and jokingly said something about Nigel Crane and he gave me this weird look and I realized what I said. I don't remember remembering it, but I know I didn't remember the Nigel Crane incident before that moment."

"How are you doing with remembering the lab explosion?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders, throwing his hands up in emphasis. "I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to cope again. I mean, I already did once. It's not like I'm reliving it again. I can just put that nagging feeling and my burns together I guess." He stared at Grissom, trying to get a read on what the other man was thinking. Greg could her the man's thought wheels spinning inside his head.

The two men fell into an uncomfortable silence, maintaining eye contact, as the two men tried to read the other. Greg leaned back in his chair, thinking, trying to peg out what things he may have remembered just sitting and talking to Grissom. But after a few moments he realized it was a futile effort. The thick silence was shattering by the ringing of Grissom's office phone. The older man glanced at the caller ID for a moment before looking back at Greg. "I have to take this."

Greg nodded in understanding, reaching for the case file he had dropped on the floor at some point during his small breakdown. "I'll come talk to you later this week. Thank you." Grissom just nodded as Greg slid out of the office, the door clicking shut behind him.

Grissom waited another moment before answering the phone. "Grissom."

"How is he?"

Grissom shrugged to himself. "Better. His memory is coming back to him like someone opened a flood gate."

"No. How is he. C'mon Grissom you know what I'm talking about."

He paused for a moment, gently weighing out his options. "On one hand, he is eating up his new-found recovery. Loves it and everything it stands for. Greg is slowly going back to normal after more than two years. He is finally shedding that last shell left over from the accident. The one that left him speechless for months and months. That withdrawn, shy side of Greg that nearly became him after everything that happened. After you left.

"You destroyed him Sara."

The other end of the line fell silent. Grissom had hit a nerve with Sara Sidle and he knew it. Over the years, Grissom had learned the limits of all his CSIs but he knew Sara's better by far. He waited patiently, giving her time to take a deep breath and reorganize her thoughts.

"Listen I don't need the lecture. I blame myself every day for what happened. You know why I left Gris. You know what I was battling with every day."

"So he is the one who has had to pay for the past two years because of a mistake you made? It happened, he survived. We've moved on. You are back at your old crime lab, Greg is a great CSI, and little Alicia seems to look more and more like her father every time I see a new picture of her. I must say her sandy brown hair goes well with those–"

"Cut the crap, Gil. What else is going on with him?"

"The more he remembers, the more the gap you and Alicia left in his life grows. It won't be long before he starts remembering his relationship with you from before the accident, if he hasn't already begun to."

"Has he? Has he started to remember anything about us?"

"Do you really think he's gonna tell me if he has?"

He could hear her frustrated sigh back in California. "Every day I look into my little girl's eyes and I'm reminded of my biggest regret and my most painful heartbreak ever." A pause before: "I still love him. Two, going on three, years later and I haven't been able to even consider another guy. Because I don't want a man other than her father in Alicia's life. I miss him Grissom and I love him just as much as the first day I kissed him. I'm going insane without him. And he needs me Gil. He needs me and Alicia to help him thru this. I can't keep secretly calling you for updates Grissom. I'm not twelve anymore."

"Are you going to do something then?"

- - - -

She found him on the roof. She had been wandering around the lab looking for him when Archie tipped her off as to where her colleague was. She climbed the stairs and pushed open the rusty roof access door and saw him across the building at the far end, standing ten feet back from the edge, fingers intertwined on the back of his neck.

"Hey," she called out. Greg didn't react to the sound of her voice, just continued to stand there. Catherine walked over to his side, admiring the view from her workplace. Apparently Greg had stumbled across the same silent oasis she had found years ago. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

He shook his head. "Naw. Just reminiscing."

She nodded. Everyone on nightshift had been told about Greg's sudden recovery, a juicy piece of office gossip that was strictly forbidden from making it to the lab rats. Everyone supported him of course, but instead of in-your-face support, they had just taken a step back to give him space, something of which Greg was thankful of. "If I may ask, is it about something in particular or are you just brooding and staring at the sunrise?"

"Sara and I had our first kiss up here." Greg took a deep inhale and slowly let it out as the memory rose to the surface of his mind again. Her smell, her taste, the tingle his lips had when she pulled away. "I remembered a little bit of that morning the other day at a crime scene, but not like I did when I came up here. I just remember her storming onto the roof, not seeing me, and looking like she was on the verge of screaming. Some case had her all worked up and she had come out here for a minute alone. I was over in the corner and she didn't notice me until I cleared my throat." He laughed to himself for a moment, remembering how it had all happened.

"I thought she was gonna jump right off the roof I scared her so bad. But instead she just broke down crying. She was crying, Catherine. And there I was, like some little teenage boy staring a perfect opportunity in the face to come to this beautiful girl's rescue. Of course I got all choked up for a minute and didn't know what to do, but I just walked up and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight as she gripped my shirt, soaking it with her sobs. Next thing I know, we're kissing."

Catherine turned and smiled, and could see Greg was doing the same thing. "Sounds like a good start to a great relationship."

"But she left me." Greg spun around and stared at Catherine, looking older than she last remembered him looking. "She left me. She left me, and took my daughter with her. Sara supported me for so long and then just left me, with everything and everyone I loved. What kind of fucking relationship is that?" He's mad beyond words, fists clenched down at his sides as he tries to yell at Catherine, not getting more than a whisper to seep out of his tightly pursed lips. "Who's the real victim Catherine?"

"You both are," she answered without a moment's hesitation. "You both are suffering from the other's decisions."

"But what did I do to deserve this? I didn't do anything Catherine."

The blonde laughed and turned to Greg, her hair catching the golden sunrise just right, making her glow against the horizon. "Maybe if you weren't so love handicapped we wouldn't be having this conversation on how things used to be and should have been. Maybe if Sara knew how to ask for help sometimes she would be downstairs getting all grimy in the garage in an attempt to take one more bad guy off the street. Maybe if you both weren't so relationship challenged you'd be looking forward to leaving soon with your wife and going home to your little girl, your little Alicia. But you both made your fair share of mistakes in the past and I am a true believer in Karma. How can you not be?" Catherine turned back towards the eastern horizon, planting her hands on her hips, briefly glancing at her watch.

Greg took one last deep breath, traipsing back towards the door that led into the crime lab.

"What, no good bye or even a thank you?"

"You know I'm always thankful," he retorted, swinging open the door and stepping back inside.