Chuckie:

I could barely focus. My head was just not into my studies. The pages of my Biology book and my notebook were all nothing but a blur. All I could think about was Angelica. Angelica this, Angelica that. She plagued my mind with her grace and beauty and in return, I could focus on nothing but that woman. She was my vice and I knew it, everyone knew it. Something was off with her lately and I just could not put my finger on it exactly. As smart as I am, Angelica was the one and only thing that I could not figure out. One minute I feel as if I know her completely, and the next moment I feel as if I know only what she allows me to see. Her drunken episodes have become much more frequent lately and her drinking has gotten a lot heavier. She used to get drunk on occasion, when stress or high emotions got the best of her. Now, I noticed she gets intoxicated almost every other day, for the hell of it to say the least. Her smoking habit has picked up as well, going from one pack a month to almost a pack every week. At first I could endure the smell of smoke on her, but now it is almost unbearable. She lost a lot of weight too. She was once a curvy and healthy young woman, but now she is almost nothing but skin and bones. I never wanted to tell this to her face, but I sometimes have to imagine the old Angelica, the woman I fell in love with, to get hard before we make love. I love Angelica with every fiber of my being, but something is wrong with her and she refuses to talk to me about it. Every time I try and talk to her about her behavior, she gets incredibly defensive and it only results in an unnecessary argument; so I just stopped asking all together. It bothers me like hell to see her slowly deteriorate into nothing but the shell of her former self. How can I allow myself to just sit back and watch the woman I love self-destruct herself?

Angelica and I have been dating for a little over six years now. We got together under the most abnormal of conditions and have not broken up since. We had a class together, English if I recall correctly, and in a poem she was instructed to write for a class assignment, she had accidentally said my name when she was instructed to input someone she loved or admired. To everyone's surprise, even mine, Angelica did not deny it and professed her unrequited love for me then and there. She had feelings for me since we were just children. She ran out of class shortly after and I could not find her until later than day, swinging on the swing set in an abandoned park nearby her house. She tried to run away when she saw me approaching but I grabbed her and placed a chaste kiss upon her lips. It became our first of many. Our relationship eventually became the epitome of the "perfect relationship" and resulted in every girl becoming envious of Angelica. I may have been a nerd, but I was a good catch, they all knew it just as well as I did.

"Chuckie!"

I looked up from my notebook and met the startled gaze of my roommate, Rodger, and my best friend of many years, Tommy Pickles. I let out a small sigh and ran a single hand through my orange mane. Thinking about Angelica puts me in a small trance. I did not see them hovering over me like obsessed maniacs for almost five minutes.

"You ok man?" Tommy asked, concerned. He sat atop my desk and closed my notebook that had my Biology notes written in it. I was trying to study for the final coming up. Because I missed class, I did not have a chance to catch the review my professor had scheduled. This class was the only class I needed to desperately pass if I wanted to get into Medical school next semester. I would be the only underclassman to ever get accepted if I passed the entrance exam, as well as the youngest. "You been distracted lately."

"Yeah" Rodger commented. " And you have bags the size of saucers underneath your eyes."

Tommy and I have been friends since I can remember. He and I did everything together and is undoubtedly more than a best friend, but considered to be my brother. It used to be me, him, Phil, his twin sister Lillian, and my half-sister Kimi as the inseparable group; but as time inevitably progressed, so did our lives. We all drifted away but Tommy and I are the only ones that really remained just as close as we were back in grade school. Phil received a scholarship to play football in New York while Lillian had gotten pregnant her senior year of high school with twins and moved to Arizona to be close to the baby's father. Kimi goes to some art school downtown and plans on being a dancer in the near future, so she travels frequently to auditions in various cities throughout the United States, searching for her big break. Tommy and I attend the same university, the University of Michigan-Flint, in our home town. Tommy was offered a partial scholarship to attend the photography and film program and still retains the aspirations of becoming a brilliant director. His works have slowly gotten better throughout the years and with a degree, he could really become something great. I, on the other hand, was offered numerous numbers of full-scholarships from almost every university in the nation. My high school test scores were one of the highest in my high school and in the top ten percentile in the US alone. My dream school, Harvard, even offered me admission to their health program but I respectfully turned them down, shocking everyone, even myself. Truth is, I wanted to go to Harvard. Harvard has been my top choice since I was in seventh grade in Ms. Ingalls class when she and the other seventh grade teachers took everyone on a field trip to their momentous campus in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I fell in love with Harvard, but also with someone else. My only love, Angelica C. Pickles. Angelica was the only reason I stayed home and accepted the full-scholarship offer from Michigan. I never told her that because she would feel guilty and as if she was holding me back. I simply lied and said I didn't like the libraries at Harvard when I really found them to be simply and utterly spectacular.

I sighed. "Yeah, I am ok. I am just thinking."

"About Medical School?" Rodger asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to me and Tommy. Rodger and I have been roommates since our freshman year of college. He is also considered a really good friend of mine. Being a year older than I, he plans to also enter Medical School but only after he finishes is degree in Engineering. He plans to enter the field of civil engineering because his parents figured it would be a good career goal for him. His passion is medicine, however, but very few people know that about him.

"Yeah." I lied. Compared to Angelica, Medical school seemed like a breeze.

"So you really are changing your major to Pre-Med instead of Biochemical Engineering?"

I nodded. "Medicine just seems like a better fit."

"Good for your Chuck." Tommy gave me a thumbs up. " You become that brain surgeon and kick some major ass. But in the meantime, you mind telling your best friend what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Just my studies."

Tommy raised an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically. "C'mon Chuck. I known you since we were in diapers. What is really eating at you?"

"You really want to know?"

Tommy nodded and took a small sip of his beer. That reminded me. It was a party tonight, a frat party I was invited to that I totally forgot about. In high school, I was never really that popular so being invited to parties and such are still very new to me. I was considered the "nerd" and hated by everyone deemed worthy. As I got older, I began to lose my "nerd" label and gain the attention of those who once only talked to me when they needed help on last night's homework assignment. It had a lot to do with puberty setting it. My voice got deeper, I lost my braces, I discovered the gym, I grew facial hair. Women began to flock towards me and those women brought along the athletes, those athletes bringing in their friends. Before I knew it, I graduated high school and entered college- majority of the people I went to high school with being here as well. Needless to say, I kept my new image and became a pretty well-known dude. My newfound popularity has yet to fully sink in and causes me to forget many of the events hosted on and around campus; tonight's party being one of them.

"Tonight was the Gamma party wasn't it?"

Tommy nodded, smiling happily. "Hell yeah. Women from door to door, endless amounts of booze, great music, awesome food. C'mon Chuck, how can you forget?"

I shrugged and reopened my notebook. "Biology has my mind in a daze." I lied. Tommy knew this.

"Bullshit, Chuckie. " he snatched my notebook and threw it in a corner somewhere, landing between a pile of my dirty laundry and some old fruit snack boxes. I should really clean my room. "You are the smartest kid I know. You aren't worried about any damn Biology. What's really eating at you?"

"Your cousin."

"Ew." Tommy fake gagged. After six years, he still could not believe me and Angelica we an item. "Angelica?"

I nodded. "I been worried about her lately. She isn't herself."

Tommy shrugged and guzzled down the rest of his drink. "Ever since the divorce between her parents, she has been acting a bit strange, but me and her were never too close so I don't bother to ask or get into her personal life."

"The cute blonde chick that sleeps over sometimes?" Rodger asked. I almost forgot he was in the conversation.

"Yes."

Rodger grinned a devilish grin and let out a loud whistle. "Man, she is a smoking one. I would like to see what she can do in the sack, say Tom?" He winked and nudged at Tommy who in return roughly shoved Rodger in a corner.

"Dude, don't touch me. And that is my fucking cousin. I don't want to know what she does in the sack or in anything for the matter."

"Shit, don't got to be all pushy." Rodger regained his balance and stood up, brushing himself off and trying with every ounce of his dignity not to show his hurt pride. He forgot Tommy was on the school's wrestling team and was a bit touchy when men made more physical contact than normal. Ever since his encounter with a gay guy a few years back at a burrito place, Tommy became somewhat of a homophobe. "Besides, the way your boy over there bangs her I would assume you two talked about it."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! THAT'S MY COUSIN!"

"Rodger" I interrupted, bolting up before Tommy rushed over and began to pumble the poor kid, "Shut up."

"Sorry. I won't talk about that hot chick anymore."

"Yes, my girlfriend. " My voice came out a bit angrier than I intended but it got the point across.

"She is still a hottie though. You snagged you a good one there, Chuck. If she wasn't your girlfriend, I would show her a thing or two." Rodger smiled. I clenched a fist and sucked in air. Rodger was the kid that sometimes did not know when to keep is mouth shut. He lacked the mental ability to think before he said anything, and that got him into loads of trouble most of the time.

"Rodger, shut up and sit down." Tommy interjected, eyeing me. He knew I wanted to strangle the idiot. "Besides, she only has the heart for Chuckie. They been an item since high school."

"Really?" his voice seemed defeated and it put a small smile on my face. "That's cute though."

Tommy turned his attention to me, ignoring Rodger. "But yeah," he continued. "Ever since the divorce between my uncle Drew and her mom, my mom said that Charlotte has seen major changes in her behavior. She picked up the habit of smoking, drinks whenever she feels like it, and I think she has an eating disorder but no one is quiet sure. I overheard my mom and Charlotte talking about how one night her dad caught her making herself throw up after dinner. Since then they both been doing there best to stop any "unusual" behavior but she is still turning out to be a wreck."

Angelica never mentioned anything about that. What's going on with her?

"Anything else?"

Tommy shook his head and got up to get another beer. "I'm going back to the party Chuck. This cute brunette offered to give me a BJ tonight. I don't want to miss that." He stopped at the doorway and turned to face me. "Sure you don't want to tag along? A BJ isn't considered cheating. Not like you fucked the bitch or anything like that."

I laughed and told Tommy to have a good time. I did not want to keep him. Tommy was good with the ladies and the ladies swooned over Tommy. He had a new girl every night and his promiscuity only brought him more notoriety. Women apparently loved a man that was great in bed and Tommy had developed quite a reputation.

Rodger perked up when hearing that and followed Tommy, asking him a series of questions about the cute brunette in question and if she had a friend. I would have joined them but I had a shit load of homework and studying to do. Who was I kidding anyway? I wasn't going to do any of it until I talked to Angelica. An eating disorder? That would explain her massive weight loss over the past few years but it doesn't explain everything else. What was really going on with Angelica? She had no close friends I could talk to besides our mutual friend, Suzie; but even then, Suzie was not going to tell me anything I did not already know. She was just that kind of person. To a degree, I could respect that. In this case, it annoyed the fuck out of me.

I closed and locked my room door before plopping down onto my bed carelessly. I loved the smell of fresh clean sheets. The night air was cool and the summer heat had finally died down. It was the perfect autumn weather and I loved it when a small breeze would cascade throughout my room and leave me with small chills. I closed my eyes and slowly began to drift off into my thoughts. Angelica. What was going on with her lately? Was she pregnant? That idea would not surprise me, seeing as how we fuck like rabbits. But we used protection majority of the time and she was on birth control. Seeing as how she has yet to gain a pound in over a year, that was certainly out of the question. Maybe she was on drugs. No, that could not be either. I would have noticed her behavior. Given she does have tendencies that show some kind of addiction, I doubt drugs is it. Angelica was always afraid of the stuff. Maybe its…

My cell rang. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my nightstand, watching the vibrations of my phone move across the wood it rested on. It was probably Tommy calling to ask for an extra rubber. He was never prepared. It could have been Rodger, calling to ask me to keep the door open because he forgot his key again. Or it could have been dad, calling to ask me another science question. Ever since he went back to school to get his degree, he has called non stop with various school-related questions, as well as the occasional "don't get Angelica pregnant" speech he has engraved in my memory.

I groaned loudly and reached for my phone, flipping it open. I did not bother looking at the caller ID, I did not care. "Hello?" My voice was obviously annoyed. I wanted whoever called to get the hint I did not want to be bothered.

"Someone has their panties in a bunch."

Angelica. I let a small grin grace my face and laid back down. "Hey Gelly."

"Why do you sound so upset, Finster?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"You." She grew quiet. I did not want to lie to her. "Angelica?"

"I'm here." she said quickly. There was another pregnant pause. "Why are you thinking of me?"

"I'm worried about you. You seem a lot…different than usual."

"Different good or different bad?"

"Just…..different."

"What do you mean!" she got defensive. I rolled my eyes. Angelica only got melodramatic when I was onto something she could not deny. "I am totally not-"

"Save it Angelica and tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes." she swallowed hard and I could hear her rummage through some things. Papers it sounded like.

"You busy?"

"No, just looking for one of the many Chinese food menus in my mom's never ending junk drawer. I have a craving for orange chicken." I chuckled. Angelica sure did love her Chinese food. Almost as much as she loved mashed potatoes and gravy. "Want me to order you some?"

"I'm okay Gelly, I had some Mexican for dinner. Thanks anyway."

"I have no idea why you eat that spicy stuff. You know what it does to you."

"It was buy one get one free Monday!" I know Mexican food makes my stomach upset but I cannot possibly turn down a free monster steak burrito. It was damn good too.

She giggled. "Whatever, Finster. Don't say shit to me when you can't find yourself able to make it to the bathroom at two in the morning."

I grinned. "Don't worry about me. I am more concerned about you. You ok?" She grew quiet again and all that could be heard through the receiver was the sound of her still trying to find that Chinese menu. "Angelica, please talk to me."

"And say what?" she snapped, surprising me slightly. "What do you want to know, Charles?"

She only used my name when she was upset with me. I was getting into a sensitive area with her and she knew it. So there was something there that she was not telling me. Did she really have an eating disorder? Was she making herself sick just like Tommy had said?

"Chuckie?"

"I'm here." I said quietly. "Angelica, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Are you pregnant?"

There was a small pause before I heard her burst into a fit of laughter. I did not find my question amusing. "Why do you think that carrot-top?"

"You been acting odd lately and I thought it may be due to hormonal changes and-"

"I am not pregnant Chuckie." she laughed lightly before continuing. "Do I look pregnant to you?"

"You don't look healthy either." I did not intend for it to come out the way it did but it was too late to take back. I heard Angelica gasp and slam the drawer shut before angrily hanging up the phone. I tried dialing her back several times but she kept forwarding them to voicemail. I sent her an apologetic text, asking her to at least call me before she went to bed. She replied with "K" and I left it at that. I let out an exasperated sigh and allowed myself to drift back off into my thoughts. If she was not pregnant, then she must have the eating disorder. If its not that, then what the hell could it be? Maybe she was addicted to drinking and smoking. Her habits picked up quicker than normal. But I doubt that be the true underlying issue with my Angelica. If its not that, then what is?

I groaned before turning on my side and nestling up to my pillow. It still smelled of strawberry shampoo, Vodka, and oatmeal raisin cookies, in other words her. I looked at my clock as it read 12:45 a.m. I needed to sleep.

a/n: Special thanks to Relentless Revolver. You got me out of my rut and inspired me to write again. This is why I do what I do. I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did writing it.