Vincent could swear he never slept this good before, he felt a heavy weight on his side therefore he opened his eyes.
He was relieved that the pilot was still by his side he was worried Cid could regret what they've done but the view of his sleeping lover let all the worries disappear in an instant.
Cid's face was even more beautiful when he slept; it was so peaceful and innocent.
"Morning Vin" Cid said sleepy, he had cracked an eye open as he felt Vincent shift "How are you?"
"Fine" Vincent answered simply "you know something like that is like a scratch for you"
"I know but I don't like it not even a `scratch`" Cid grumbled, it made him sick to see Vincent's blood.
"Harrumph" Shera stood at the door, she waited for them to end the conversation "breakfast is ready" she smiled, as she left the room she had a very dirty grin on her face "looks like they had fun"
"Come on Vin … " Cid gave Vincent his clothes before he put on his trousers "Don't be embarrassed, she couldn't see the scars and she has nothing against homosexual relationships"
he added as he saw Vincent's red face.
"I'm not sure if I want it to be known" Vincent said serious and avoided Cid's gaze.
"What do you mean?" he asked harsh "are you #%# ashamed of me or something?"
"I think I can't handle it" Vincent stood up and put on his clothes, still avoiding Cid's gaze.
Cid felt how anger build up in him "You can't #%# handle it? I'm sure with Lucrecia you could"
"I never got the chance" Vincent tried to banish the memories "She was Hojo's girl" he added.
Vincent couldn't understand why Shera was that happy; she was Cid's number one his best friend and now Cid said that he loved him.
The most important point for his worries was that he never had a real relationship, he never felt secure and never needed to work on a relationship.
"I'm a #%# free man where is the problem?" he hissed.
"I always thought you were Shera's man" Vincent explained "and it's strange that you love me"
"We are friends nothing more and it's hideously to use her as an excuse … when you don't love me fine"
Vincent looked at Cid for the first time with wide eyes "Fine?" he asked shocked, he didn't want to show emotions but he couldn't hold them back.
Cid regretted his words and tried to approach him "Don't start to cry, please" he said cold as he saw the unshed tears glimmer in Vincent's red eyes.
"I won't … I never cry" he said simply and tried to hide his pain.
"Let's eat … It will be easier to talk when we calm down" Cid gripped Vincent's arm and dragged him into the kitchen.
"I thought you won't come" Shera smiled "come on what's up?" she added suspicious as she saw Cid's angry face.
"He wants a secret relationship and he can't believe I love him and not you" Cid snarled before he shoved Vincent to his chair.
"Oh Vincent don't worry he's like a kid brother for me" she placed a hand on his shoulder "and we all accept your feelings for each other"
Vincent nodded slightly and continued to stare into his teacup, he felt how his hard clenched and all his worries returned to him.
"Don't stare into your cup and eat" Cid was worried he didn't like the look in the gunman's eyes "you're skinny"
"I don't want to" Vincent whispered but didn't look up.
"What's the meaning of this? Do you try to punish yourself again?" Cid sighed; he had enough of the gunman's habit to punish himself for everything.
"I'm not hungry" he answered low but emotionless.
`Ahh you did it … you're not even a whole day together und you ruined it, it's even for you an accomplishment` Chaos nagged.
`You shouldn't think … stupid gunman` Galian raged, they hated the feelings Vincent felt and shared with them.
`I can't stop my worries` Vincent thought, he hid in his own mind to escape the situation.
`Where's the problem he really loves you … even we can see it` Chaos yelled and Vincent felt as if his head will explode.
`It's hard to trust` Vincent whispered back `I try so hard to trust him but I can't be sure can I?`
`You can, he would do everything for you` Galian was pissed even they trusted the pilot.
`We will show it to you` Chaos interfered and shot a wave of memories into Vincent's mind.
He could see the day he saw Cid for the first time, his sky blue eyes were sparkling at him.
They started to be friends because Cid thought that the silent gunman needed company, they talked about everything and Cid never had the intention to end the friendship.
He took care of him when he was hurt, he bandaged his wounds carefully and never asked unpleasant questions at least not immediately.
One time he tried to safe him and got hurt, he took the blow which was meant for him but Cid only smiled at him and said that he was relieved that he was unharmed.
In the end they showed him the day Cid asked him to live with him and the look in Cid's eyes as the boy shot at Vincent.
`Now tell me he doesn't love you? ` Chaos said serious.
Vincent was confused he never noticed that Cid did all this for him, all the small signs like a smile, grin or a slight touch.
`He does love me …` Vincent realized, how could he overlook the signs? How could he think that only his own feelings are true? He felt sick and his head hurt hellish from the argument and memories.
"Vin? … Vin talk to me" Cid said worried and stared at the gunman, Vincent stared on the table and didn't even blink.
His eyes were blank and he looked pale "Vincent?" Shera put a hand on his shoulder but got no response.
Cid stood up and ran around the table and kneeled in front of Vincent "Vin" he panicked.
He raised a hand and touched Vincent's burning cheek "Talk to me…" he shook him lightly with the other hand.
Vincent turned his head slowly in Cid's direction before blood dripped down his nose and his eyes rolled inside.
Cid caught Vincent as he passed out and held him in a tight embrace "Vin" he gasped.
He lifted him up "Call the doctor" he panicked.
He brought Vincent into his room and lay him gently down on the bed before he sat next to him "Vin?" he whispered and stroke through his long hair.
"Come on wake up" he held his hand and regretted the fight they had, was it his fault that Vincent was sick?
Cid looked around the room and was surprised how empty it was; it looked like Vincent never moved in.
"Why didn't you change something" he asked the unconscious gunman "Don't you own more than your clothes and guns?"
He was seldom in Vincent's room, he tried to avoid it because he didn't know what he might do to the gunman when his feelings had won over his mind.
The pilot stared at Vincent's face, his fever was still pretty high but his nose stopped to bleed a while ago.
"Cid the doctor is here" Shera walked in.
"What happened?" the doctor asked and opened his doctor`s kit.
"He stared into nothing and all of the sudden blood dripped down his nose and he passed out" Cid burbled, he could see it in his mind eyes and wasn't able to erase the images out of his head.
"Ok" the doctor took his stethoscope as Cid stopped him.
"Don't open his shirt … put your hand under his shirt or whatever you want but don't look at his chest" he said serious.
The doctor didn't know why it was so important to him but nodded.
Shera was confused too, but she was sure that Cid knew something about him that made him act like that.
"And?" she asked as the doctor finished the examination.
"He's exhausted, I think he had too much stress and his blood pressure shot up, it was dangerously high and some little veins burst … he will be fine in a few days but he must ignore stress"
"Thank you doctor" Shera said friendly and led him out of the room, she knew Cid needed time with Vincent, alone.
Cid stood near the window and watched the sleeping beauty "Why didn't you tell me that you can't take stress … "he sighed and lay down on the bed next to Vincent.
He pulled him into his arms and covered him up; he loved Vincent's smell and the heat of his body.
Cid stroke gently through Vincent's hair and closed his eyes, Vincent's soft breath rocked him into a light sleep.
Vincent opened slowly his eyes, his body felt heavy and he couldn't remember why he was in bed …and in Cid's arms.
He could feel Cid's warmth and his memories came back slowly, he tried to remember every little thing even the talk with his demons.
"Hey" he heard a gentle voice; Cid was looking at him with worry in his eyes "How are you?"
"My body feels heavy" he whispered sleepy.
Cid touched Vincent's cheek and gave him a soft kiss, he felt helpless but the strain disappeared and he could feel how much he wanted to cry but he didn't.
Vincent whipped a bang out of Cid's tired face, he was surprised about Cid's friendly behavior but when he saw the pain in his eyes he understood, had he frightened the pilot so much?
"I'm sorry" the gunman whispered "I never had a relationship that was the reason I was afraid"
Cid was amazed; Vincent never had a relationship before? That's why he said he can't handle it but why now you almost got a heart attack and you continue where we stopped, he thought.
"Don't talk about it now, you need to rest" Cid tightened the embrace.
"I want to explain my reasons … even when you get angrier" Vincent said simply, he was afraid Cid could leave him but more important was to tell the truth.
"I'm not angry anymore" Cid looked at him with his tiered eyes "and now it's my turn to say sorry"
"You didn't do something wrong, there's no need to apology" Vincent shifted uncomfortable, it was an unpleasant situation.
"I said that it doesn't matter when you leave" he said hoarse "I hadn't let you go I swear I said it because I was angry"
"Really?" Vincent eyes gleamed with hope and Cid felt how much Vincent needed him.
"Really, I will never let you go" he kissed the pale cheek of his lover "and don't you dare to frighten me like that again" he added with a relieved sigh.
"Sorry" Vincent snuggled up to Cid, he was incredible happy that he won't leave him.
"You should have told me that you can't take stress" Cid gave him a look of reproach.
"I can take stress" Vincent justified himself but Cid's look didn't change "and why did you break down because of a dangerous high blood pressure?"
"I had a fight with the demons because of the fight with you" Vincent explained "it takes a lot of strength to fight with them; they shouted and screamed in my head"
Cid rolled over and lay on top of Vincent and looked deep into his eyes "I didn't know what to do" he whispered "I know your wounds heal fast but not what happens when you`re sick, when blood dripped down your nose and your skin was burning I wasn't sure you would wake up again" Cid rested his forehead against Vincent's.
Vincent wrapped his arm around him "Shh, everything is all right" he whispered into his ear "It won't happen again … I won't allow it"
"Promise?" Cid whispered, Vincent smiled "Yeah … I promise"
It was strange to see the pilot so sad, he was always so strong and bad mouthed and it broke Vincent's heart to see him like that.
He needed a few minutes to calm him down, Cid took a deep breath before he disentangled himself from Vincent's embrace "I bring you something to eat" he smiled "You need it"
"I'm not invalid I come down" Vincent stood up and took all his strength to walk; he hadn't thought it would be that strenuous.
"Are you sure you can?" Cid watched him and was sure he was still exhausted.
"I can" he replied simply "and I have to apology to Shera"
"Why?" Cid felt jealous, he couldn't explain why but he always hated it when Vincent was on good terms with her.
He hated everyone who tried to hit on him or even looked at him with lusty eyes.
Shera was different and he knew she wasn't in love with the gunman but Vincent spent a lot of time with her and he couldn't be sure that Vincent wasn't straight anymore or would go back in the arms of women.
"I made her worry and I blamed her for my jealousy" Vincent sighed, it was embarrassing to confess a failure and the feelings of jealousy.
Cid felt relieved and happy, Vincent was really jealous at Shera "Then let us go"
Shera sat on the kitchen table and waited for a sign; she was worried about them and knew that Cid could be hurtful sometimes.
Then again Vincent was labile and couldn't take Cid's type of character, how they could see on his break down "Cid, be nice" she whispered, shortly after she startled as Cid entered the kitchen.
"Shera make us some #%# tea" Cid said with a smile, that was a good sign and she felt a bit relieved.
"Sure, Vincent sit down" she said cheerful, she made tea and warmed up the food she had made for dinner.
"I wanted to say sorry" Vincent said out of nowhere and Shera was surprised.
"Why?" she asked gentle "I made you worry and for the reproach you … and Cid you know" it was hard to say sorry.
"It's ok, I can understand your feeling" she comforted him "I mean I live with him and do all the chores, it must look like we are a couple but you know what?"
Vincent looked at her and waited for the answer to the question.
"It started all with an act" she put down the plates "Cid was always gay and to avoid rumors I moved in with him, I had a home and he was safe from harm"
Vincent was shocked, everything was an act and Cid would never lay a hand on her, he felt how it took a load off his mind "oh" he said simply.
Cid grinned at him as he saw his confused face, he looked so adorable "Let's eat" he laughed.
Vincent ate everything Shera gave him, he was hungry and Shera had the opinion that he needed more to eat for his health.
"I contacted Cloud" Shera said after they finished dinner "He said he heard about them and he will search for them. He was worried about the fact that they want to kill us all, they're too strong to be ignored"
"That's #%# true, these #%# bastards are strong and crazy" Cid cursed angry "Did he say what we have to do?"
"Wait" she said simply "and take care of us … he will call when they have information's"
"Great … twiddle our thumbs" he sighed "Let's enjoy the time we have" Vincent said calm, Cid and Shera stunned, to hear something like that from Vincent was strange but it looked like a good sign.
"Good, then let's start with it" Cid stood up and took Vincent's hand "Come"
Vincent followed Cid and enjoyed the warmth of his hand "Sit down" Cid pointed at the sofa before he ran out of the room.
Vincent settled down and stared into the extinct fireplace, he couldn't imagine what Cid planned.
Cid came back with a book "Here" he reached him a book about dragons "it's a fantasy book, I think books about airplanes or machines aren't interesting for you" he chuckled.
"Thank you" Vincent furrowed his brow "but what …" Cid placed a kiss on his lips to shut him up "You need to rest"
Cid took the blanket and put it around Vincent's shoulder "be a good boy and wait for me … I have work to do"
"When will you be back?" Vincent gripped Cid's arm as he turned around to leave "… in the evening" he noticed a worried look on his face.
"I won't leave you I will come back no matter what" he patted Vincent's hand and gave him a warm smile before he left.
Vincent sighed and decided to read the book maybe it was interesting.
Cid worked as fast as he could he didn't want to leave him for too long "I will make him happy" he vowed.
It was night already as he came back home, he went into the kitchen to make a tea and bread.
After he ate up he went into Vincent's room and cursed "Where the #%# is he?"
He put the light on and found no sign after that he ran into the living room and was relieved.
Vincent lay on the sofa with the book on his belly "Vin?" he said gently and shook him "wake up, you should sleep in your bed"
"hnh" he groaned sleepy as he cracked his eyes open "What time is it?"
"It's late and it isn't healthy to sleep on the sofa" Cid lifted him up "Hey, I can walk on my own" Vincent nagged but gave up as he noticed that Cid won't let him go.
Cid was surprised that the tall gunman was so light and that worried him, maybe he should feed him until he burst.
"You're killing my pride" he muttered but Cid only laughed at him "I won't tell it … let me spoil you from time to time"
"Do what you want" Vincent pouted, Cid found it incredible cute when Vincent pouts "you're so cute"
"I'm what?" Vincent blushed, as if it wasn`t embarrassing enough to be carried but Cid found him cute "I can see my pride flying away" Vincent sighed and punched Cid's shoulder "macho"
"Ow" Cid laughed "I understand" he opened the door to his own room.
"Your room is too gloomy and your bed is small and not really comfortable, we should buy new furniture"
"It's ok, I hadn't the need to change your furniture it's your house and room" Vincent said irritated.
Cid let Vincent down and shoved him to his bed "Then I will change it, it's my house" he kissed Vincent "and you need more personal belongings, don't you own more than your clothes and guns?"
"No" Vincent looked at him as if it was the most normal thing of the world "I have nothing left, no pictures, books or reminder of my family"
Cid was taken aback, how could he live without this things and why didn't he collect new belongings "Why don't you collect new belongings?"
"No one was worth it and what if I lose them again, everything that will be left are some pictures and when I read a book I will never read it a second time" he explained.
"You don't want to remember us?" Cid grabbed a picture frame from his desk and showed it to Vincent "Here that's my family … they're gone but I still want to see them, to remember them, the color of their eyes, the look of their smile…"
"They were friendly people am I right?" Vincent was fascinated from the picture.
"Yeah … they were great parents" Cid looked sad and Vincent regretted his question "Sorry" he whispered.
"It's ok" Cid sat down next to him "It's sad but I want to remember them and I think they would be sad when I'm not sad by thinking of them but I'm happy too we had great times together"
"My parents hated me" Vincent touched the glass of the frame gently, Cid put an arm around his shoulder and waited patiently for him to continue "My father hit me and my mother … because of that she drunk too and said it was my fault … before I was born he was different"
Cid was speechless how could parents treat their kids like that, Vincent was a nice person and hadn't deserved a treatment like that.
"A few scares are from her and not Hojo" Vincent showed him a little scar on his neck, three on his arms and two on his chest "she wanted me to die, to get rid of me so she could return to her old life … my father stopped her sure he hit me but sometimes he played with me or brought me to school, when he wasn't drunk of course, and I had the feeling that he loved me at least a bit … I loved my parents especially my dad but what did I do … I ran away and joined the Turks … I never saw them again"
"Vin I'm so sorry" Cid hugged him tight, now he could understand why he didn't need pictures of them "It wasn't your fault"
"Sometimes I'm not sure … since the day I moved in with you I was concerned I could ruin your and Shera's life … I thought I will ruin it like I did at that time"
"It's not true your father ruined it and your mother wasn't better you're the only one who's innocent … and you didn't ruin my or Shera's life not even a second … do you understand?"
It was nice to hear it from Cid, people said it often but Cid is the only one he believed.
Vincent nodded; he wanted to forget his guilt and was sure Cid could make him forget.
"Can I have a picture of you?" Vincent asked in a low tone, he wasn't sure how Cid would react.
"Of course you can" he gasped, he felt butterflies in his stomach "It's an honor for me"
"Thank you" Vincent closed his eyes; he was still exhaust and wanted nothing more as to sleep and to enjoy Cid's warmth.
They lay down and snuggled up to each other before they fell into a peaceful sleep.
Vincent slept unusual long, it was already midday, he turned around and felt lonely.
He opened his eyes and noticed that Cid was missing "He must be at work" he whispered to himself before he stood up.
After he tidied up, he went back to his room "What the …" he stuttered, he had a new and huge bed with red satin bedclothes, his dresser and desk were new, too … even the curtains were new.
His room looked brighter and warm, thanks to the red curtains, table lamp and bedclothes.
He walked around in his room as he noticed a picture frame on the little table next to his bed; it was a picture of Cid.
"It must be a snapshot" Cid worked on his airship, it was a sunny day, he looked directly into the camera and Vincent never saw a brighter smile before.
It was so honest and his sky blue eyes gleamed, he loved the picture "I will treasure it" he whispered to himself.
He sat down on his bed and loved it, it was comfortable and he could feel a warm feeling crawl into his heart.
For the first time he felt pure happiness and had the intention of never let them go, his new family … his love.
"Vincent?" Shera knocked on his door, she saw him go into his room "Do you want to eat?"
"Yeah … I'm coming" he answered and made his way into his kitchen "can I help you?"
"No, it's ready" she smiled "do you like your room?"
"It's great" he said simply but Shera could see a hint of joy in his eyes "Good, we needed the whole morning"
"Thank you" Vincent hugged Shera lightly and after a few seconds he let go of her, he felt it was the best way to show that he cared.
Cid stood at the door and saw him hug her, he felt how jealousy build up in him he won't say a thing yet … but he will keep an eye on them.
"Hey" Shera said cheerful "do you take a break?"
"Yeah, it's raining and #%# cold outside" he grumbled "but I see you had fun"
"Vincent likes his new room, I even got a hug in gratitude for the help" she placed the food in front of them "I thought I should be a bit more … uhm kinder" he stuttered.
He saw the look in Cid's eyes and knew he had down something to upset him.
"Oh .. ok" Cid started to eat, they didn't talked while they ate.
Shera cleaned up the table, she wished a good night and a nice week; she wanted to visit her parents for a week.
"So you like the room?" Cid said finally and stood up "It's great!" Vincent answered honest.
Cid passed him and went upstairs.
"Cid" Vincent yelled with an angry undertone, Cid was stunned Vincent never raised his voice "what have I done? Is it the hug? Did you saw it? Don't you trust me ...I won't do it again. Or is it something else …"
The look in Vincent's eyes hurt, he looked like a frightened puppy "It's nothing … I have a bad day" he sighed.
"Really?" he asked suspicious "you're jealous again am I right?"
"#%# … yeah" he hissed, Vincent approached him and flung his arms around his neck "I don't love her … I don't want her … I only love you"
Cid considered sharing his worries with the gunman, maybe he could eliminate them but he didn't want to hear stories about Lucrecia.
So he decided to lie "I know and I'm not angry about that, I was only surprised and felt a bit jealous … I trust you"
"Good" Vincent gave him a slight smile before he kissed the pilot "thank you chief … thank you for your trust and thank you for my room"
"You're welcome" Cid replied and tried to sound honest.
"I love the picture" Vincent said simply "I never saw a smile as bright as yours"
"I think it was taken a few days after we defeated Sephiroth" Cid felt joy at the thought that Vincent liked the picture.
"What do you think … can we overcome our differences?" Vincent looked at Cid and wasn't sure what the strange look on Cids face was.
"Sure we can" he answered serious, in reality he was sure they won't be together that long but he wanted to try it.
"I'm complicated and I'm … crazy" Vincent replied honest "It could be hard for you"
"Ahh don't #%# worry about me … I survive Shera and I even survived Yuffi isn't it an evidence?" he grinned.
"That's true" the gunman lifted a brow "I love my chief" he whispered and pressed Cid's face against his chest, with the intention to never let him go.
Cid said nothing; it felt wrong to say something even though he loved the gunman.
