It was spring break in Forks again. When I woke up on Monday mourning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming.

I was already falling into a pattern of things at La Push. Everyday, Charlie and I would drive up and he would stay with Billy. Jacob and I would say we were going to hang out but as soon as we were out of sight of the house Carmen would meet up with us and Jake would go patrol.

Jake would apologize for leaving but until Victoria was caught the wolves were on red alert.

I worked Tuesday afternoon—Jacob followed me on his bike to make sure I got there safely—and Mike noticed.

"Are you dating that kid from La Push? The sophomore?" He asked, poorly disguising the resentment in his tone.

I shrugged. "Not in a technical sense of the word. I do spend most of my time with Jacob, though. He's my best friend."

Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Don't kid yourself, Bella. The guy's head over heels for you."

"I know," I sighed, "Life is complicated."

"And girls are cruel," Mike said under his breath.

I supposed that was an easy assumption to make.

I called Carmen during my break to talk. I was surprised how long I'd survived without a girl best friend. She was like Alice before…

"Should I really be spending this much time with Jake?" I moaned, "I feel so awful about this!" I had explained what happened with Mike.

"Izzy, I need to ask you something before I answer that," she sounded cautious, "If the Cullens ever came back…"

"They won't," I interrupted.

"If they ever came back. Would you choose him? Would you run into his waiting arms without a question?"

I knew the answer but I didn't want to say it. It was yes. If He wanted me I would tell him yes, "I think so."

"Why?"

She was yelling! Or telling me how stupid I was for this! She was just asking why!

"Why would you go back to someone who hurt you that much? This isn't about Jacob, not right now at least. God knows I love him, the kid's my brother. But right now I need to know why after all the misery he put you through Sis, would you take him back?"

"I-I-I love…loved h-him," I stuttered.

"I know, but you know what they say? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Bella, if you have any respect for yourself think about this. Don't brush it under the rug. I'm not saying it would be a bad thing to take him back at all! I just think you have would have to take him back for the right reason. Think about that, and then think about Jacob."

That night Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy's house. Jake and I skipped out early for some privacy.

"I'm sorry for ruining your spring break," he said, "You can't be having much fun."

"It's not all bad," I lied.

"No Bella, tomorrow we're going to do something fun! I know," he pointed to the cliffs, "we can go cliff diving!"

I gulped, did I still want to do that?

"It'll be great Bells! Carmen and Dev can come too if you want."

I had yet to meet Dev so hesitantly I agreed, "Sure I'm up for it. Fun."

"It's a date," he said and draped his arm around my shoulders.

"Okay—now let's go get you some sleep." I didn't like the way the circles under his eyes were beginning to look permanently etched onto his skin.

I drove to Jake's but he didn't greet me like he usually did. I went in and Billy told me that he was on patrol. The pack had found a new trail and needed to follow. He also said Carmen was waiting on the beach for me so I ran to find my friend.

What I saw when I found her almost made me fall over. It was Carlisle! No it wasn't Carlisle. But it certainly looked like him. Like what Carlisle would have been at seventeen.

"Izzy!" she jogged over to me, "Come on I want you to meet Dev."

"Hi," I said shyly when we reached him.

He gave me a warm smile, "Hey Bella, nice to finally meet you."

I shook his hand, "You too."

"Carmen and Jacob talk about you so much I feel like I already know you."

It was my turn to smile, "It's all lies!"

We talked for a while longer then Carmen wanted to go and jump. I hated her for being so much braver then me.

"She's really not," said Dev, "Jake couldn't talk her into coming so Jared bet her ten bucks she'd chicken out. Unless she wants to loose whatever dignity she has, she's jumping."

"Shut-up Devon!" growled Carmen.

We got up to the cliff and Dev went first. I heard him scream "CANNON BALL!" then a big splash.

"I take it he's one of the idiots that's done this before," I commented.

"Yeah, that's my boy," Carmen laughed.

"You two haven't really been acting like a couple you know," I kept talking to put off my jump.

"Oh well I didn't think you'd appreciate us getting all cuddly but if you want we can. Call each other Pookie, the whole sh-bang."

"No no! That's fine." I did not want to see that!

"Ok here I go," she jumped and I'm pretty sure a glass broke somewhere from the scream.

I was about to go when I heard his voice.

"Bella."

I smiled and exhaled.

Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. I could hear the true memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of voices.

"Don't do this," he pleaded.

You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.

"Please. For me."

But you won't stay any other...I remembered I was talking to a voice my head was making up. It wasn't really him.

He was gone.

He wasn't coming back.

He didn't love me.

And my friends were waiting for me. They loved me. Not like he did, but it had to be enough.

I rolled up onto the balls of my feet.

"No Bella!" He was angry now, like I was.

I smiled and threw myself into the air.

I screamed and only remembered to hold my breath right before I hit the water. It was amazing, I felt free. Like nothing in world was happening. I felt at peace.

I kept thinking about how alive I felt until my lungs began to burn. I hadn't started to swim to the surface! I'd been sinking for who knew how long?

The current caught me. I was ready to die.