3

"What do you mean she's gone," Arthur bellowed. The guard cringed.

"We went to serve her a meal, and she was…." The wretched man stared at his king who seemed to get angrier with each passing second.

"Do you understand that the woman you so easily lost is your future queen?" Arthur said in exasperation.

"She couldn't have gone far?" Leon said as he tried to intercede for the unfortunate guard. Arthur glowered at him.

Moments ago, his Knights had given their advice on how to handle Gwen, none of it was helpful. Gaius had encouraged patience, Leon and Percival suggested flowers and a new dress. Gwaine suggested wine. Elyan, who had arrived later, suggested that he'd keep her locked up. He knew the stubbornness of his sister.

Arthur needed to talk to her, clear the air. He was furious when they last spoke. When the guard had run into the council chamber telling him his future wife had vanished, Arthur wanted to strangle him.

"We'll look for her," Leon said, and gestured for the men to follow him.

Merlin stood in the corner with a scowl on his face. Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't want to ask, but he did.

"You have something to say?" He said tightly.

"You plan to hunt her down," Merlin said.

"No Merlin. I plan to give her a hand written invitation to dinner," Arthur bite back sarcastically. "Oh, but I can't since I can't find her."

"Sending the knights after her won't win her over," Gaius said calmly. Arthur took a deep breath, in the hope he'd calm down. It didn't work.

"Considering she outsmarted her guard, the chance of the Knights finding her looks bleak. She knows this castle better than anyone," Merlin said. Arthur just glowered at him.

"She better be found," Arthur cursed before storming out of the room.

Merlin looked at Gaius and both men sighed.

"Merlin this can't go on like this," the old physician insisted.

"You don't have to tell me. His mood will only get worse. I better find her first," Merlin said and headed out in search of his friend.

He found her in the stable trying to saddle a horse. He watched her a while as she struggled with the animal.

"You should take Arthur's horse, it would serve him right," he said as he approached. His presence startled her and the horse broke free of her grasps and bolted away.

"Merlin," she said in frustration. Merlin just smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Where do you expect to go where he won't find you?" He said softly to her. He felt her stiffened and then she began to weep.

"Do you still love him," he said.

"Yes." It came out as a wail and Gwen clutched him tighter.

"Good, because he loves you and you're driving him mad."

Gwen pulled away from him, and she let Merlin wipe away her tears.

"I can't be Queen Merlin," she said. Merlin shook his head.

"Of course you can. Arthur believes you can?" He reassured.

Gwen huffed. "Arthur wants to get under my dress."

Merlin laughed, and this made Gwen laugh, as well. They both collapsed on to the hay. Merlin watched as Gwen took a deep breath and steadied herself. He wrapped an arm around narrow shoulders and pulled her close.

"I wish my heart were stone," she soft resigned tone. "A stone feels nothing."

"Why would you say that?" He stared into her deep brown eyes that were rimmed with red from crying.

"Because, if my heart were a stone, my love for Arthur wouldn't hurt so much. My fear of Morgana would make my knees shake. My regrets wouldn't rip me apart each time I remembered them. My sorrow for the things I've lost wouldn't destroy me." She said and began to cry again.

"No…no," Merlin lamented at the misery of his friend. "I need that heart, Arthur needs it."

"He should let me go to Ealdor and live my life."

Merlin gently stroked her cheek and tried to find the words that might console her.

"If you go to Ealdor what do you think will happen to Arthur?" She had laid her head upon his shoulders and looked up at him.

"He will learn to live without me," she finally said.

"No, he will be miserable and being Arthur he will make everyone else miserable. You've never seen him when he is without you. How he stares out the window in the hopes of your return. He has refused marriage so many times because of his love for you. If you should leave him, he'd be alone. As Uther was alone. Would you condemn Arthur to have a stone heart of his own like his father?"

Her expressive eyes stared up at him as she contemplated what he'd said. Did Merlin have the right to make her responsible for Arthur? He knew Arthur was destined to become a great king. Was Gwen an essential part of that? He believed so. It would do neither any good without the each other, dooming them both to a cold future.

"I cannot be his Queen," she said as if were another obstacle to their problem.

Merlin stared into her tired eyes and sighed. He'd always thought Gwen to be a smart girl, able to understand the working of things as Arthur said. It amazed him that she did not realize her own power over a most powerful man. If that were not the making of a Queen, he did not know what was.

"Why don't we put off being Queen and running away from Arthur? I will fix a room for you and you can rest."

"What of Arthur?" She sounded tired.

"Arthur can get his own room tonight ready," Merlin said and caught the whiff of a smile.

Merlin took her to a small bedchamber as far from Arthur's as possible. The moment her head hit the pillow, she fell into a deep, restless sleep. He sat on the edge of her bed until he saw the steady even breaths finally win out.

He was aware of Arthur's presence as he stood by the door. Merlin said nothing until he left the room and closed the door behind him.

"Thank you for finding her," Arthur said softly.

"She wasn't lost sire, she was running away," Merlin tired to hide the sternness in his voice but failed.

"I know," Arthur snapped.

"Gaius is right. You cannot make Queen until she believes she can be. If you cannot do that, she will simply run again."

"I know," Arthur, said his voice less severe. He turned and walked away.

"You followed me to the stable didn't you? Why didn't you show yourself?" Merlin said after him. Arthur stopped turned back to his friend.

"Because at that moment, she needed you more than she needed or wanted me." With that, he continued down the empty corridor, walking away from his one true love