A/N: Still with me? I Hope so. This chapter is by far my favourite so far and builds up a little more of the tension.
I have named this one after one of my favourite songs by Trent Dabbs - Inside These Lines. If you listen to the song, you will get the meaning.
Thank you again for your lovely comments it is very much appreciated and do not worry Chapter 4 is in the making.
I do not own anything from the amazing Holby or the BBC.
Chapter 3
Inside These Lines.
Sahira was making her way back up to Darwin from AAU when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at the screen. It lit up with a new message from Greg.
She sat down on a step in the deserted stairwell.
Holding her breath, she tapped the screen to open it unsure of what she was about to read. She had to read it twice and after she had taken in what the message said, her eyes welled up, every bit of her hurting but not just because of what he had written but because she had brought it on herself.
She had in fact gotten what she wished for.
Greg woke up the following morning having slept better than he had in a long time.
He was looking forward to getting the next few weeks over with and saying goodbye to the torment he had been living the past year.
He knew a meeting with Hanssen was unavoidable today but at least, Sahira would be long gone by the time he started his shift at 10:00am. He got into the hot shower feeling a bit stiff from his run the previous evening and as he stepped out, he heard his phone come alive in the bedroom. Assuming it was Sahira's reply he dared to look but thankfully it was just his Mum wishing him a Happy New Year and asking what he had been up to over the holidays. He didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed. He finished getting dressed, picked up his keys and his resignation letter and ran out the door. Arriving at the hospital 10 minutes later, he headed straight for Hanssen's office and stopped just outside the door. He looked down at the letter, exhaled with a slight flurry of nerves in his stomach, and slotted the letter behind the other mail in the rack on the wall beside the door. As he walked away, he looked back and smiled then headed along the corridor towards Darwin to change for his shift.
It didn't take long for Hanssen to summon Greg to his office but for once he knew what it was for and it wasn't for strike three.
Giving the door, a gentle knock, a confident voice answered from inside.
"So Mr Douglas you are leaving us. I must say I was somewhat surprised when I received your resignation letter this morning. I also, just this morning received a most intriguing email explaining your resignation from the head of the Army Medical Services informing me you have been called up for an active tour of duty in Afghanistan. You really are a dark horse, Mr Douglas." He smiled sounding surprised.
"I joined the TA about two years ago. Went on a few training weekends here and there and I quite enjoyed it so I kept it up. I knew one day there might be a chance I would be called up for a tour of duty. I just wasn't sure when and I had forgotten about it to be honest." He laughed nervously.
"I was hoping to finish here in two weeks if that's ok Mr Hannsen. I want to go back home before I go for my pre- deployment training" He said with a hint of sadness.
"I can't see a problem with that Mr Douglas, ordinarily we would expect a considerable notice period but under the circumstances, I suppose it is somewhat out of our hands."
"Are you certain this is what you want to do?"
"I'm as sure as I will ever be. Six months in Afghanistan should be a walk in the park compared to Holby" again he was laughing nervously.
"Very well Mr Douglas I will have the request actioned by HR today."
"I wish you all the best Mr Douglas, very commendable placing your own life at such high risk to save others," he said with a concerned smile.
Greg looked back at Mr Hanssen mirroring the same facial expression.
"Oh, and Mr Hanssen can you keep this between us for the moment, I don't want everyone knowing just yet."
"You have my word, Mr Douglas."
"Thank you, Mr Hanssen."
He walked out of Hanssen's office and for the first time, the magnitude of what he was about to do in the coming weeks hit him.
That afternoon Sahira sat anxiously awaiting the arrival of Rafi and the boys when suddenly she heard the door fly open and the house somehow became lighter with the chatter of her delighted children but they were not accompanied by Rafi.
"Mum," she said sounding surprised as her mother came up the front steps.
"Rafi called me knowing you wouldn't Sahira. You look awful. Let's get the bubbas settled in and then we are going to have a long talk."
Her heart lifted when she looked down to find both her beautiful children clinging to each of her legs with a vice like grip. After the long awaited reunion, she managed to get them both settled in front of the TV with their favourite film.
She walked back through to the kitchen and sat down at the table.
Sahira's Mum sat looking across at her daughter with worried eyes.
"What's going on?" She asked sternly.
Sahira stood up and took a bottle of wine from the rack opened it and poured it into two glasses, sitting back down at the table she took a big sip and sighed.
"How much did he tell you?"
"Not much, he just told me your marriage was over and he had moved out. I wish you had called me I am your Mother after all."
"You were on holiday there was no point in worrying you."
"Well I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, so tell me what's been going on?"
"I don't know. Things have just not been right for a while now."
"It's me you're talking to here not some stranger" her mother added
"We don't love each other anymore, not like we should."
"Have you tried everything to save your marriage or are you just giving up because it's easy."
"I wish this was easy," she said taking another drink.
"Is there someone else involved?" she asked angrily automatically assuming Rafi had been playing away.
"No Mum it has nothing to do with anyone else unless you count my job as a third person."
"Surely he knew how demanding your job was when you decided to go back to work?"
"He did but it has been terrible lately. Sometimes if I'm honest, I didn't want to come home."
"He was never right for you Sahira I'm surprised it's lasted this long."
"That's not fair. I did love him and he has given me two beautiful children."
"There's something you're not telling me, you don't just stop loving someone for no reason."
"Maybe there is something else but I'm not sure. I can't explain it, not just yet."
Sahira and her mother talked long into the night; it felt good to get at least some of the weight off her shoulders. Tomorrow would be a new day with another set of problems to face.
Greg ran into work nearly fifteen minutes late for his 8:00am shift. He quickly changed and made his way to the ward. It was as if a bomb had gone off; the place was completely deserted. Then it dawned on him "Hanssen's budget meeting!" He said aloud as he flew off along the corridor nearly knocking one of the nurses over.
He entered the conference room as quietly as possible trying not to make eye contact with anyone, unrealistically hoping he had developed the power of invisibility. Unfortunately, as he crept in all eyes had been on him and before he had a chance to apologise Hanssen drew attention to his tardiness.
"Ahh, Mr Douglas we were about to send out a search party."
He sat down in the one free seat at the table next to Jac mumbling an apology as she glared at him.
"Sorry. Car trouble" He said unconvincingly. Still, all eyes on him.
He looked down at his hands for a few moments until Hanssen resumed whatever he had rudely interrupted. When he did eventually look around, there was one set of eyes still on him and as he had failed to notice her when he had entered the room, the look of surprise on his face must have been evident.
Sahira's eyes burned into his as he held eye contact for what seemed like hours.
He eventually broke the connection when he became increasingly aware that his breathing had become laboured and his heart began pounding furiously in his chest.
When he dared to look up again, this time, she was focusing all her attention on the projector screen, her eyes glistening with the onset of tears.
It pained him seeing her upset. It was that side of her that got him into this mess in the first place; she was so beautiful when she was vulnerable and this awakened the male protector in him. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and take her pain away.
Suddenly his train of thought was derailed, as the sound of chairs scraping against the floor brought him back to the present. He quickly composed himself and hurried towards the door, making sure there was no possibility of an awkward encounter.
Greg had spent the morning successfully evading Sahira by not staying in one place too long; he wondered why she was even here in the first place, she was supposed to be on nights.
Looking up at the clock, he was suddenly aware of the time and realised his stomach had not informed him it was lunchtime. He made his way to the ground floor to get a sandwich but as he exited the lift he saw she had obviously had the same idea. He stood for a minute watching her from the short distance nursing her coffee with both hands and staring out of the window.
Every part of him screamed at him to go to her but his pride and stubbornness won out as he turned and walked the other way. He needed to get out of there, so he made his way to the back of the building to have a well-earned cigarette.
Sahira still very much aware that Greg was avoiding her kept busy by catching up on reports and dealing with her CTU patients. She knew eventually; she would have to repair the damage with him because inevitably, their paths would cross and they would have to, at least, be civil to one another.
It was nearing the end of her shift and she really did not want this hanging over her for yet another day.
She called her Mum to tell her she would be home in just over an hour and she would pick up dinner on the way.
Failing to find Greg anywhere, she decided to give up and go home. Opening her locker, she pulled out her handbag, took her clothes from the hangers and headed to the changing area out of sight.
Greg, grateful he had made it to the end of his shift, applauded himself for managing to avoid Sahira for the greater part of the day. He walked towards the locker room making sure to peer through the window first; he did not want to fall at the last hurdle after all. Seeing the coast was clear, he opened the door and went in.
He hastily rid himself of his top threw it on the floor and started noisily rooting around in his locker for his deodorant, unaware he was no longer alone.
As he closed the locker door he caught sight of someone in the corner of his right eye as he turned around, she was standing there still as a statue with the same pained expression as she had displayed that morning.
He reopened his locker door, desperate to find some sort of distraction wishing she would just leave.
"Greg," she said, met with no reply.
"Greg, I'm sorry". She said, almost pleading.
There was an awkward silence for a moment broken only by him slamming the locker door practically off it's hinges, not realising she had moved closer to his location making her jump.
"What do you want me to say Sahira? Do you want me to tell you everything is ok because I can't do that not this time"? He said raising his voice.
"Why do you hate me so much Greg?" she said choking back tears.
"I don't hate you Sahira. I don't understand you and I hate the way you make me feel," he muttered looking away.
"What do you mean you hate the way I make you feel?" she said, slightly angered by that statement.
He took a deep breath as he prepared his answer carefully.
"Come on Sahira, even you can't be that naïve," he said sarcastically.
"No, I want to know Greg you clearly have something to get off your chest, so now is your chance," her voice now slightly raised and shaky.
Before he had time to think about his reply, he took her wrist and pulled her gently closer to him and when he was sure; sure that she was not going to push him away he dropped her wrist and placed his hands firmly on each side of her waist. Sahira looked up at him with eyes unblinking completely still as he slowly and hesitantly leant in towards her. As his lips met hers, she gently raised her hands up and rested them on his bare chest.
She could feel his warmth transferring to her and suddenly she found her lips parting for him.
He took this as a good sign that she wasn't about to slap him or bolt, so slowly he moved his lips in time with hers as he slid one hand up her back to draw her in closer. She responded willingly, moulding herself to him.
He never wanted it to end. It was what he had wanted for so long but as soon as he felt her hand slide up the nape of his neck and into his hair, he knew he had to break the connection before certain parts of his anatomy started to think for him and ultimately reveal his want for her.
He pulled away gently placing his hands back around her waist and taking half a step back. She once again looked up at him but this time with confusion and a hint of disappointment.
He took a deep breath and nervously removed her hands from his chest.
Still keeping a firm hold of her hands now by her side he looked away from her, evidently struggling with what he was about to say.
After another few seconds of him attempting to speak and no audible words coming out, he finally found his voice.
"I love you," he said so quietly only she could hear.
Before he had a chance to get a reaction from her, they were interrupted by a duet from their pagers.
"I have to go," she said looking down at her pager.
He looked at her trying to figure out what she was thinking but she was avoiding any eye contact and before he knew what had happened she was heading for the door out of sight.
There is always an interruption! Thanks for reading. Chapter 4 is ready to go. Emma xoxo
