Author's Note: Inspired by Chapter 9. Because seeing Naruto and Sasuke appears to be fun for some people, and personally, I'm one of them. (:
Um, let's see. This is the first omake chapter that doesn't have a reference someway or another to Hinata, but it does include Sasuke. And Naruto, obviously. And, just for the record, this chapter takes place after Stuffy Noses, when Naruto and Sasuke are already part of Team 7. Today, I will be writing about their argument tips. (:
Unlike the last two chapters, I'm not listing 3 things that you didn't know things you didn't know this time around. Instead, I'm listing seven.
Seven things you didn't know about Naruto and Sasuke's legendary arguing is:
1) The two entered the Annual Konoha Fighting Contest. Contrary to what might be expected by the title of the contest and the fact that Konoha is a ninja village, the contest actually consists of verbal argument.
2) Naruto and Sasuke took a close second place, beating Neji and Lee's "knitting: hard work vs. fate" routine, but losing to Sakura and Ino's 'All is Fair in Love in War' montage.
3) When asked about his decision, the Third Hokage, who was in charge of judging the contest, declared that 'catfights trumped classic-anime-rivalry any day.'
4) For the first time since meeting, Naruto and Sasuke agreed on something. The Third was just plain crazy.
5) Catfights, after all, were something to stay away from: in Naruto's case, before he got beat up for annoying Sasuke, and in Sasuke's case, before he got fought over like a toy without rights for...well, being Sasuke.
6) Immediately after actually agreeing with each other, both Naruto and Sasuke experienced an awkward silence as a sense of brotherhood surrounded them.
7) Five seconds later, however, they began arguing on whose fault it was they lost to a couple of girls.
How do Naruto and Sasuke manage to pull off their constant arguing? That's what this chapter's for, of course!
Arguing tips with Naruto and Sasuke!
"Right! It's nice to see you guys have come to me for advice. After all, I AM the undefeated champion of arguing!"
"Sure. The undefeated champion of arguing like an idiot, if that's what you mean."
"Aw, be quiet! You're just mad because I'm the only one with enough guts to challenge you!"
"If 'guts' means the same thing as 'stupidity', you're actually right for once."
"Arrgh, just stop talking, you jerk! They want me to give them arguing tips!"
"Read the full title, you moron. They want me to talk too."
"Grrr...fine! Do whatever you want! I'm gonna start talking now!"
Naruto Tip# 1: Never take 'no' for an answer!
"Hey jerk!"
"What do you want now, idiot?"
"Admit I'm a better ninja than you!"
"No."
"Admit it!"
"No."
"Dumb Sasuke! Didn't you hear me give the tip? I'm not taking no for an answer!"
"...so as long as I don't say no, you'll listen to me?"
"Sure! Now will you admit I'm a better ninja than you?"
"...fat chance."
Naruto Tip #1 rewritten: Never take 'no' for an answer. Or in the jerk's case, 'fat chance' either.
Naruto Tip #2: Add a '-ttebayo' to the end of your arguments. It makes them sound cooler! Oh, and if you're uncomfortable adding words that belong to a foreign language into your speech, 'believe it' will do just fine!
"Sasuke, quit acting like an arrogant jerk-ttebayo!"
"There's a simple reason I'm arrogant: I'm better than you."
"No way! I'm Hokage material, and I eat more ramen, which means I'm definitely better than you-"
"...you're an idiot."
"-Believe it!"
Naruto Tip #2 rewritten: ...uh, you might want to time your 'believe it's'.
"…figures."
"What figures?"
"Figures that a dobe would give that kind of low-level advice."
"Hmph! I don't see you trying, you jerk!"
"…"
"Ha! At least I can give some advice! You're just scared because you know you give lousy advice!"
"Be quiet, dobe!"
Sasuke Tip #1: Keep a cool tone at all costs. It projects the perfect 'I'm-better-than-you-so-I've-already-won-the-argument-so-you're-just-humiliating-yourself' aura.
"See? That was good advice."
"What? All that proves is that you're a jerk with people problems!"
"Hmph."
Sasuke Tip #2: Add the words 'idiot', 'moron', and 'dead last' into your sentences.
"Hey, Sasuke! I just remembered! Kakashi said that we were supposed to meet at the park yesterday at ten thirty. If we hurry up, we might get there before he shows up."
"Idiot."
"Huh?"
"…dead last."
"…fine. I'll just go with Sakura-chan, then."
"Moron."
Sasuke Tip #2, revised: Make sure to add those words even when they make no sense and are completely uncalled for.
Sasuke Tip #3: Start an argument for pointless reasons to make the dobe mad.
"Hey, dobe."
"Yeah?"
"...your kunai is blunter than mine again. Looks like I really am the better kunai-sharpener."
"What the heck! Grr, that's a lie, and you know it-ttebayo!"
Sasuke Tip #3, revised: Okay. So maybe the pointless reason might undermine your supposed genius, but it still makes the dobe mad. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made.
"Hey, Sasuke, what do you mean, 'sacrifices have to be made'?"
"..."
"Come to think of it, why do you like seeing me angry?"
"..."
"I wonder if this has anything to do with the speech Kakashi-sensei gave me on how I'm the closest thing you have to family..."
"!"
"Nah, couldn't be. You're just a class-A jerk, that's all."
"...idiot."
"JERK!"
Author's Note: Um...I really do have nothing to say this time. And since I'm feeling completely unoriginal after typing Chapter 9 AND this out, I think I'll just insert the standard 'please read and review' ending. Yup, that'll work.
Please read and review!
There. I think that'll do. (:
