"Oi, any of you bros know where- whoa. Y'don't see that every d-"

"What the hell?" Zoro demands, one muscular arm tightening around Usopp's waist to deter the sniper from scrambling out of sight beneath the nearest bunk. "Ever hear of knocking?"

His free hand balls into a fist and plants itself in the blond head currently nuzzling against his captive's bare chest. "I thought you said you left a tie hanging on the doorknob, you goddamn pinwheel face."

"Shit! Ow, I did, damn it!" Sanji snarls and reaches around to punch the swordsman in the ribcage. "Cool it, shitty Marimo!"

"Oi, I said Zoro and Sanji should quit fighting," another voice calls from behind the tangled, squabbling mess of arms and legs. Luffy pops into sight over the green-haired pirate's shoulder, readjusting his grip on the older man to throw restraining arms in several loops around his other crewmates and subsequently smashing them closer together. "Hi, Franky!"

"Yo," the cyborg returns casually. "You seen Brook?"

"Oh, sure. Missed him by about five minutes. Try the kitchen- he said something about needing a cup of tea with lots of rum in it." The captain dodges a kick aimed at his face, squeezing the other men in his grasp just a bit tighter. Zoro curses. Usopp whimpers.

Franky raises an eyebrow. "Huh. Okay, thanks, Mugiwara! See you guys later."

There's a moment of silence following the click of the men's quarters' door closing behind the exiting shipwright.

"C-could somebody go lock that thing?" Usopp demands shakily. "I don't think the tie's working."

"I don't think I can move. Sencho, get your frickin' fingers out of my nose before I break 'em."

"Whoops, sorry, Zoro. Hang on a second-"

"No, shitty gomu! The other way, the other-!"

"Air! AIR!"

"If I can just- ah, there! Shishishi, sorry, guys."

"Shishishi, my ass."

"Shut up, Marimo. If you weren't built like a goddamn brick-"

"Sencho-san? Oh. Oh, my."

Four heads swivel to stare at the blinking eye and set of slightly quirked lips that have just appeared within touching distance on the back of the sofa beside them.

"Robin-chwa~!" Sanji's cry of greeting tapers off into an awkward, strangled squawk of horror as he realizes his adored historian's getting a rather telling view of him in a quite compromising position, and he promptly attempts to vanish into Usopp's lap. "I'm not here! Tell her I'm not here!"

"Hello, Sanji-san, Usopp-kun, Kenshi-san. My apologies for the interruption, but our navigator would like to inform everyone that we'll be approaching our destination within the next hour."

Luffy's eyes immediately light up as though a bonfire's ignited inside his skull.

"Oh, hell, I give up," Zoro groans, allowing his head to drop back against his captain's shoulder as the younger pirate immediately erupts into joyous exclamations about "ISLAND" and "ADVENTURE" and "SANJI, MAKE US PIRATE LUNCHBOXES!"

"I'm not here! I'm a figment of Robin-chwan's oh-so wonderful imagination!"

"ISLAND, NEW ISLAND~!"

"Oi, I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up if you guys decide we're actually DOING anything."

"Can I at least put my overalls back on? It's getting kinda chilly in here and- Zoro-kun, I can't move unless you let go of-"

"Zzz..."

*click-click*

"Uh- d-don't mind me. I just need to get my- uhm- doctor thing. With the round cup and the little earbud doohickies?"

"CHOPPER! NAMI SAYS WE'RE-"

"YAAAAH! STETHOSCOPE, I NEED TO GET MY SPARE STETHOSCOPE! I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IT'S IN MY LOCKER AND DON'T HUG ME WHEN YOU'RE NAKED LIKE THAT, LUFFY, IT'S WEIRD!"

"Not here, not here, not-"

"Zoro-kun~?"

"Zzz..."

Amidst the chaos and the flailing limbs and the snoring rises a soft chuckle of amusement. "I'm afraid, Sniper-kun, that privacy often tends to be a touch, ah, elusive when one is sharing living quarters with one's nakama, no matter how large the ship."