Author's Note: This is fun! XD I've also changed this to be under the Madagascar category instead of under Penguins of Madagascar. It only makes sense to put it where it belongs, right?
~Natty
"Sonya! Where is the bear-a?" called Stefano over and over again. The sea lion ran back and forth frantically searching for the bear with no luck. Perhaps he'd have some if he looked around normally and not jumping or running back and forth with some kind of instrument over his head.
Skipper rubbed his temples with his wingtips, groaning. "Would someone shut him up?!"
Rico nodded to the leader before sticking his flipper out, nailing the sea lion in the pressure point on its neck.
"…Sonya! We are about to go o-" Stefano hit the floor flat on his face, the horn instrument crashing to the ground when it fell out of his limp arms.
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence." The leader penguin sighed in bliss, wrapping a wing around his private. "Don't you hear it?"
Private shook his head, smiling. "No, Skipper."
"Well that's the point." Skipper grinned.
"What's the point, sir?" asked the private, clueless.
Skipper frowned, narrowing his eyes. "I don't like you…"
"Alright guys!" Alex walked in the tent. "Blow me away! It's time to get this show on the- Hey, what happened to Stefano?" The lion pointed at the ground, concerned.
Skipper blinked, looking back at the unconscious sea lion and back at the lion standing in front of him. The leader grinned sheepishly. "Oh him? He's just…uh…"
"Praying, sir." Kowalski helped out.
"Right!" Skipper nodded, picking up the lie. "Seal wanted to get in his Hail Mary's before the big show. Good for him, right? It's always good to pray to your own personal god before doing…well, anything! And you're disturbing the poor seal here with your barging in on him all the time! You're really starting to tick that seal off and you don't want to make a penguin-"
"A seal, sir." Kowalski corrected.
"Right, a seal! You don't want to make a seal mad! So stop barging!" shouted Skipper.
"Alright, jeez, I'm sorry." Alex apologized. "I didn't mean to-"
"Yeah, yeah! Just get this show started, would ya?" Skipper glared.
Alex blinked at the outburst and the penguin took it all back with a fake laugh.
"I got you, didn't I?" chuckled Skipper. "Nah, I was just kidding. Go scrape up your friend and let's get this show started!"
Alex smiled, reassured he picked up Stefano and headed out to go start the circus. As soon as the lion was gone Skipper growled and kicked the broken horns on the instrument. They made an awful dying noise at the abuse.
"Ugh, this is driving me insane! How long do we have to keep going on like this?" Skipper asked with a groan.
Kowalski looked down at his notebook. "6-9 days, sir."
"Great…" The leader grunted. "Just what I need. 6-9 days of liking hippies…"
"But you don't really like them, sir." Private reminded the leader. "You're pretending to like them, like you're pretending not to like me."
Skipper narrowed his eyes again. "Right…pretending…Isn't that funny, Kowalski? The private here thinks I'm pretending."
Kowalski nodded. "Hilarious, sir."
The four penguins watched up on the beams at the train wreck of a circus down below. They didn't know what the people were so freaked out about. This was all really entertaining to them.
Then came the best part! The kid getting stuck up the elephant's-
Skipper laughed. "Well THAT was worth the price of admission." The leader smiled unfazed and ate some more popcorn.
Rico watched on with glee, being the most thrilled with the performance out of anyone. Kowalski observed the scene below them with an unchanging expression, nodding in agreement at the leader's previous comment.
Private just looked horrified, turning to his leader with much question. "Sir, I'm not sure I understood that last bit."
"It's a voluptuous thing," Skipper shrugged, and ate more popcorn. "You wouldn't get it."
Kowalski blushed visibly at the statement and word given.
Private blinked and turned back to watch the rest of the show. "You're probably right." The private nodded and leaned over to take some popcorn. He was denied the right by Skipper's flipper slapping him away.
Skipper spoke with his mouthful, his voice sounding muffled. "Of course I'm right! What do you think this is?" The leader swallowed and spoke clearly again. "A hippie fest? We can't all be right! Only the leader is right!" Skipper nodded. "Show him the numbers, Kowalski."
Kowalski nodded and showed the private a poorly made circle graph. It was multicolored and showed all four penguins averages of being right. Private had second place at about 33% and his section was yellow with his face sketched on it, Rico came in at about 15% oddly enough and his was shaded green with his face sketched on it too, Kowalski had the highest percentage by far at 50% and his was the color red with his face sketched as well, and last came Skipper at about 2% and his was blue with his face sketched on it except his face had a pathetic frown.
Skipper didn't look pleased at the calculations given. Eyes narrowed he glared at his lieutenant. "Great, now show him the EDITED numbers." ordered the skipper impatiently.
"Yes, sir." Kowalski nodded again and flipped the page, turning the notepad around to show the second circle graph. This one was the exact opposite of the previous calculations. On this graph, the whole this was shaded blue with a sketch of Skipper's grinning face on it. The other three penguins weren't even present on the graph since their leader came in at 100% on it. But in the background of the large circle, there was a sketch of the three 'always wrong' penguins frowning in failure.
Skipper nodded in satisfaction. "Beautiful numbers, Kowalski."
"Skipper, I think the show's over." Private commented, pointed at the stands of people storming out.
"Well that was a bust, eh boys?" The leader asked and the other three penguins nodded with him. Skipper rolled his eyes, shaking his head as the sea lion tried to call all the people back. They just kept leaving and so the show was over. Skipper laughed at the look on the hippies' faces. "I say it's high time we laid low for a while before that psychotic lion has a heart attack and we have to help him. Just in case it happens, we won't have to help if we didn't see anything."
"Brilliant logic, sir." Kowalski congratulated.
Skipper nodded and turned to leave but the private pulled him back.
"Sir, I believe Alex is looking for you." Private pointed down at the lion that was calling and searching for the penguins around the big top.
"Drat! That hippie probably wants to dump this stupid circus ordeal now that he's seen all of what it has to really offer him and rest of those hippies! Which is nada! They're going to ask that we use the rest of the dough to buy another plane! We can't have them finding us and blowing our operation!" exclaimed Skipper. "Kowalski! Quick! Spend the last of the money on something ridiculous!" The leader ordered, shoving a sack full of money at his lieutenant.
Kowalski blinked at the request, but followed orders nonetheless. "Like on gold teeth, sir?"
"Perfect!" Skipper grinned. "And not such a bad idea! With those I bet I could eat apples!"
Private frowned. "But you don't like apples, Skipper."
"Yeah, but the hippies don't know that!" Skipper scoffed. "Now, execute and start hiding!"
