DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

A/N: My brain shut down about an hour ago (but I have a deadline to meet). Doesn't help that this is unbeta'd either.

PTB SMUT UNIVERSITY WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT

THE NON (COMPLETELY) GRATUITOUS LEMON

As I sat on a thick, dark brown bough near the top of a weeping willow tree, I couldn't help but see the irony. The tranquility of my surroundings was in stark contrast to the turmoil deep inside me.

Unbidden, images of black, riotous tresses, lush curves, and long, supple limbs appeared in my mind. I'd looked so petite and childlike standing next to that vampire. I was pale whereas she was alive with color; I seemed so young and unsure as opposed to the confidence that exuded from her. I wished Peter and I had never come across her and her sisters when they had arrived at this part of the woods.

At first, we were wary of them since we were so used to the hostility among vampires in the south. But after we'd exchanged a few words, we concluded that things were very different here up north. Vampires were friendlier, willing to share, and seldom resorted to fighting over humans. It was more populated after all, and there was plenty of food for everybody. I was delighted to meet others of our kind in such a diplomatic manner.

Now, while I waited for him to come back from escorting them to the outskirts of the territory we had claimed, a feeling of unease grew in the pit of my stomach.

I couldn't forget the appreciation in the stranger's ruby-red eyes as they took in Peter's tall, muscular form; or the deliberate way she ran her tongue over her full, pouty lips; or the derision in her low voice when she flicked a glance at me and asked him, "Is she your mate?"

His silence was a knife in my dead heart.

When we had escaped Maria's army a few months ago, it was such a relief to finally be just the two of us. Life was lighter, happier, and more peaceful. He was my best friend in the world, and there was nowhere else I would rather be than by his side.

Over the last weeks, we had grown closer physically. I saw no reason why we shouldn't sleep together. We were friends after all; it was just one of the primal needs that we satisfied together, similar to our bloodlust when we hunted. It had never felt wrong, until recently.

Recently, I had been feeling that it was not enough. I knew he cared enough to follow me after I'd fled Maria's clutches, to cherish my company, to enjoy our intimate relationship. Still I wanted more than just an easy companionship. I craved for his love.

I had fallen in love with my best friend.

Maybe I had had feelings for him all along, and it was only at this time that I had a name for them. It was a wondrous but terrifying revelation because, now that we had met other vampires outside the bubble we had created around ourselves, Peter would see just what he had been missing.

It would be so easy for that dark-haired witch to cast her spell on him. And then he would be lost to me forever.

My complex mind worked in the other direction, picturing a different scenario. What if he wasn't attracted to any of those vampires we had met? What if he returned to me, unaffected by that seductress' charms?

Would I be able to admit my feelings? Could I take that risk? It would definitely change the dynamics of our relationship. If he felt the same way, we would no longer be just friends but mates. I savored the word on my tongue and beamed joyously. I had never wanted anything more in my short existence.

But if he didn't want the same thing, there was a chance that he might leave me and look for someone who demanded less from him.

What was more important to me? His presence in my life or his love?

I heard his light footfalls and caught his unique scent in the air, but I still had no answer. I dropped effortlessly from my high perch to the mossy ground below and waited for him. I was completely covered by the weeping branches heavy with leaves that formed a green curtain around me, but he sensed my presence and approached me with a grin on his face.

"Charlotte! You wouldn't believe the stories they've been telling me," he exclaimed, obviously thrilled. "They've traveled all of North America, Canada, and Alaska now. It's absolutely marvelous. Maya offered to show us sometime."

So it was Maya now. I wondered if her invitation really extended to me.

"That's great." I tried to sound enthusiastic.

"She's something else, isn't she?" he commented, dropping to the ground beside me. His strong arms pulled me by the knees to sit at his side.

The awe in his voice caused jealousy to flare in me, but I tamped it down immediately. It seemed like the chances that my love was returned were depressingly low. It was then that I decided not to tell him how I felt about him.

I felt incredibly guilty. I had never kept anything from him before, and he had always been completely honest with me, too. I wanted to tell him everything so badly, but it might just be the one thing that would drive him into her arms.

"I feel tired. We probably should hunt soon." I tried to change the subject.

"Come here," he said softly as he lifted me onto his lap and pressed his chest to my back. He ran his hands down my arms, causing warmth to spread through the skin he had touched. "It's too soon, and we don't want the townspeople to get suspicious. However, I am very much willing to satisfy your other hunger," he suggested, winking impishly.

"Won't that use up the remaining blood in my system and make me hungrier?" I laughed at him.

"Not necessarily. Besides, it'll make you relax afterward. You're so tense," he complained when he pressed his palms on my shoulders. He didn't know that it was from the effort of reining in the strength of my emotions. It was like I was holding back tears of frustration even though I knew I couldn't cry.

"Just relax," he said softly, pressing an open-mouthed kiss on the nape of my neck.

I tried to obey his words and closed my eyes to clear my mind. I slowly commanded each muscle to loosen up as he kneaded them with his gentle hands. When he undressed me slowly, dropping a trail of wet kisses on each bit of skin he uncovered, I let out a shaky breath.

He knew just which buttons to press to drive me mindless with want. This was what I was hoping for: a temporary reprieve from my miserable thoughts with the help of his talented mouth and fingers. Each nip elicited a moan, each caress a whimper. Venom pooled in my mouth as desire shot through my veins, and I reached up to repay each of his ministrations with my own.

Before long, we were lying on a bed of grass, our naked forms wrapped around each other in a passionate embrace. We moved in frenzy, like we couldn't get enough of each other. Teeth clashed, breaths mingled, limbs pushed and pulled, until it was almost impossible to tell where one person began and where the other ended. When our bodies joined together, it was as it had always been between us: fiery, effervescent, unforgettable.

We moved against each other in a rhythm that was both age-old and ever-changing. Each slide of his skin against mine set my nerve endings alive with electricity; excitement flowed through me and shot into the core of my being.

During our previous encounters, he had been incredibly vocal in the midst of pleasure, and this was no different. He whispered words in my ear that were sinful and sweet, designed to make me lose control. When I did, he met me thrust for thrust. He reached between us where we were joined, his fingers sliding over my most sensitive spot, while he murmured, "Let go for me, love."

The endearment sent a shock of hurt over me as the double-meaning entered my lust-hazed thoughts. How could he so carelessly fling that word at me? He'd utter it in the heat of passion and say nothing of it afterwards, whereas it meant the world to me. Until I was absolutely sure about his feelings for me, everything was still wretchedly one-sided.

Suddenly, everything I had been trying to forget came rushing back until I was bombarded with excruciating thoughts and feelings that squeezed my chest in a terrible grip. If I were still human, I was sure I was going to die from the anguish. Physical pleasure and emotional pain came together until I could bear it no longer. My limbs stiffened, my back arched, and it seemed like my senses shut down for a moment.

When I slowly came to, I felt him heave an unnecessary breath as he pulsed deep inside me. Then the trembling stopped and he rolled to my side. He wrapped an arm around me, and pulled me close while nuzzling my temple with his mouth tenderly. It was a gesture I thought was supposed to be done by people in love with each other, and it upset me even more.

He bent his head and stopped short. "Charlotte?" he gasped.

I could imagine what he would be seeing. My face contorted in agony, my mouth agape in a silent scream, my eyes eternally dry yet still betraying my inner thoughts. I gave up trying to hold it in and erupted into loud, pathetic, tearless sobs.

"I'm sorry. So sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he cried out frantically, his hands smoothing over my body as he tried to find out which part he had accidentally injured. Finding none, he peered into my eyes and asked me what was wrong.

I shook my head, my wails getting louder. I let it all out: all the fear, guilt, and hurt. I cried for being stupid enough to fall for him; for being cowardly enough to conceal it; and for being weak enough to fail at hiding it.

When I felt like I had no strength left, I looked at his dear face and saw the infinite patience and concern etched on it. What if he could love me after all? He was still here, his arms still holding me. It should count for something.

I vowed to sort out my feelings as soon as I could. When I was ready, I would be strong enough to tell him everything.

I only hoped he would still be around to hear it.