Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers, I do not own any CM characters, I'm just borrowing them and will return them in the same condition as I found them.

Storyline Rules: There will be het smut, there may be violence, mention of drugs and sex crimes -- this is Criminal Minds. There may be mild sideline slash, but it will not involve any CM characters. All CM characters will remain true to character as I see them. All pairings will be introduced as they could naturally occur. This may be fantasy, but I will try my best to make sure anything presented as fact is accurate.

THE MICROWAVE

The team opened the door and walked into the break room at the station, just one of hundreds of rooms, in one of hundreds of stations, there was nothing unusual about the room. Tables, chairs, refrigerator, all the normal items in a workplace lunchroom. A microwave, sitting innocently on the counter, light on, turntable spinning, as it happily counted down towards zero.

Suddenly Reid broke rank, turning, pushing Morgan and Hotch to the sides, running back the way they had come. He races across the bullpen towards the men's room. Desperately hoping he would make it, praying he wouldn't humiliate himself by vomiting in the middle of the room in front of a dozen officers. Knowing that his mad dash would never go unnoticed, not here, not in the middle of a police station.

The team watched as Reid broke through the door on the other side of the room. Hotch breathed a small sigh of relief, he'd made it. JJ turned to glare at the microwave, gleefully spinning and counting, completely unaware of its silent act of torture. Unconcerned with the effects its actions had on one young man. It was only doing its job.

Unfortunately today its job was cooking fishsticks.