Chapter 2
"Wendy Darling."
I panic as I turn around and see a boy standing in front of me. He is tall and thin, but not scrawny. Definite muscle is wrapped around his wiry frame and he is dressed in a dark green, almost black, outfit. The fabric looks smooth, similar to leather, but not quite. I study it more closely and realize that woven within his clothes are small, dark leaves, making him blend in with the forest that surrounds us. It is a curious outfit that looks, oddly, rather fitting on this boy. I move from his clothes to his face, and am startled by what I see.
His hair is a wavy golden brown, cut shorter than Felix's. He has a sharp jawline and a long nose. His lips are in a thin line and turned up, trying to hide a growing and malicious smile, and a few freckles dot his cheeks.
His eyes… his eyes. Something about them makes me linger on them. I feel as though I have seen them before, I just can't quite put my finger on it. His eyes are a bright, emerald green with burning gold flecks that catch the sun's rays, making them shine. They glance over my body with a ravenous hunger until they rest on my eyes and a smirk plays at his lips.
This boy is rather handsome, and the thought makes me blush slightly. But something nags at me. Why did I say Peter Pan? I didn't mean to say it, the words flew out of my mouth before I could even understand them. I have never even seen pictures of the famous boy who refused to grow up. I had only heard stories from Mother about him, just like every other childhood hears the stories of Peter Pan at one point or another in their youth. But that was such a long time ago and I had all but forgotten the stories. So how did I know with utmost certainty that this boy in front of me was that boy? And how did he know who I was? Certainly I would have remembered meeting a childhood hero at one time or another.
"How do you know my name?" I ask, growing apprehensive. A smirk appears on his face. "I know a lot of things," he says, with just a hint of self-righteousness, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Very well. If you seem to know everything, then you must know how me and my brothers got on this island."
"Sure I do."
"Would you care to enlighten us?" I say, losing patience.
"Not particularly."
"Why not?" I demand.
"Don't want to."
And just like that, a flip has been switched within me. The exhaustion and frustration and terror that I've had to endure this entire day come flooding through and I can't hold back, taking it all out on this boy standing in front of me. "Do you have any idea what I've been through," I shout. "First, I appear on a strange beach, alone, having not a clue where I am. Then, I trudge hours through a forest suffering from dehydration and hunger. Next, I'm hunted down by a boy hiding in a tree. And finally, I was tied up like a prized hog and carried like a sack of potatoes until I was thrown in front of you!"
Once I finished, I immediately felt better, having let out all of my piling frustrations on this irritating boy. I take a very deep breath and say in a calm and polite tone, "Now, I would greatly appreciate it if you could please untie me."
The boy just looks at me with amusement in his eyes and shrugs. "I don't really feel like it."
Not allowing my emotions to get the better of me again, I try a different tactic. "But the ropes are hurting me. They're cutting into my wrists." I bat my eyelashes and pout my lower lip in the most undignified way so as to maybe receive sympathy from this infuriating boy. But he just picks at his nails and shrugs as he says uncaringly, "Not my problem."
Resisting the urge to scream, I take a deep, calming breath and turn to Felix. "Felix," I say, making my voice silky and batting my eyelashes coquettishly, "could you please be a dear and untie my wrists?" Felix chuckles under his breath. He looks to the boy standing in front of me and lifts an eyebrow in question, asking a silent permission if he could remove the rope. The boy just shrugs once again and says, "Do whatever you want. I don't care." I keep my eyes on him as I feel Felix undo the knot at my wrists. When I feel the bindings slip off, I sigh in relief and shake out my hands, feeling the circulation returning once more to my fingertips.
I smile gratefully at Felix and then turn back around to the arrogant boy. "Much better. Now that that's done, would you please tell me your name?" Because I'm having a hard time truly believing that you are, in fact, a fairy tale come to life.
He rolls his eyes. "Didn't we already do introductions?"
I raise my eyebrow. "So it's true? You're really him? Peter Pan?"
He smiles broadly and says, "The one and only. Although my friends call me Peter," he smirks at me. "But you call me Pan." I stare in silence and he notices my disbelieving expression. His smile vanishes and he crosses his arms over his chest indignantly, taking a defensive stance.
"Expecting someone else?" His voice is dripping with sarcasm.
All I can do is stare as I look at my childhood hero standing in front of me. This arrogant, self-righteous boy is Peter Pan? The boy who could fly? Who never grew up? The boy who dreamed and laughed and played? This boy in front of me is the King of Neverland? Wait…
I snap out of my revelry. "If you are Peter Pan-"
"Which I already said I am," he interrupts. I roll my eyes and continue with my train of thought. "If you are Peter Pan, then we're in…"
Peter smiles once again and raises his arms around us in a grandiose gesture. In an imperious tone he pronounces, "Welcome to Neverland!"
I spin around to look at John and Michael who still stand beside Felix. They both have huge smiles plastered to their faces and they are nodding enthusiastically, as if they can barely contain their excitement. I whirl back around to face Peter, who is watching me with amusement at my bewildering state. How could it possibly be that we're in Neverland? This makes not the slightest bit of sense. This place is supposed to be just a children's story meant purely for joy and entertainment. It's not supposed to actually exist. This is impossible. It must be.
"But Peter-"
"Pan," he interrupts yet again.
"Fine. Pan, how can we possibly be in Neverland? It's not as though there is a train we can take. How did my brothers and I get here?"
Peter stays silent, refusing to give me any answers to my questions. The only indication that he actually even heard me is that his mouth turns up in a mischievous grin, as if he has a secret.
"Well?" I ask him, growing frustrated yet again at this irritating boy.
"Well what?" He says, his smug smile growing by the second.
"Are you going to answer my questions or not?" I say with exasperation.
"Decidedly not."
I groan inwardly at this conversation that seems to be going around in circles. It is clear that Peter will not tell me anything that he does not want me knowing so it is no use bothering to ask. Perhaps Felix will give me some answers with some convincing and no small amount of charm. But in the meantime, it seems as though my brothers and I won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
"Can you at least tell me where my brothers and I can stay while we're here?" I ask Peter, hoping he will be merciful and offer us shelter from the dreadful forest.
Peter smiles in a way that causes the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. This certainly cannot be good, I think. The expression on his face ensures me that it won't be, whatever it is.
There is dead silence for only a moment and then Peter shouts in a commanding and firm tone, "Boys!" The sound echoes all around us and I tense, expecting something to happen. At first, nothing does. It is only me, Peter, Felix, and my brothers standing in the open field. I raise an eyebrow at Peter and he smirks as he looks behind me. With dread, I turn my head slowly around to follow his gaze.
At first, I see nothing but the trees that surround us. Then, the faintest sounds can be heard and I concentrate to discern the noises. The snapping of twigs. The swaying of branches. The rustling of leaves. The sounds encompass the clearing, settling around us like a thick fog. My heart begins to pound rapidly as I prepare for whatever ominous danger is coming. I reach out to Michael and John, moving them behind me to protect them from a threat that seems to be growing louder and louder by the second. My brothers begin to protest but I silence them quickly with one look. I squint into the darkness of the forest, trying to discern anything from the shadows, but my eyes are too weak and the woods are too dark.
Then all at once, seeming to appear from nothing, dozens of boys step out from the forest, their mouths grim and their eyes hard. One by one, they all come.
Every boy that steps out of the woods has a distinct trait that distinguishes him from the others. One is very small, clutching a tiny slingshot in his grubby hands with big brown eyes. One has a lanky build and is covered from head to toe in freckles with ginger hair. One has a head of unruly blonde curls that catch the afternoon sunlight. Another has cruel eyes that are as black as tar and hair to match. He makes me shiver.
My eyes drift over each boy that emerges from the forest. They all are wearing similar clothing to Felix and my brothers. Various jackets with hoods of browns and greys; dark pants and boots; belts strapped around their waists, all carrying either daggers or slingshots. Some boys have what look to be bow and arrows slung across their backs. Others have furs and pelts draped across their shoulders or set atop their heads as hats. And they all have a layer of dirt covering every inch of their bodies.
The boys surround us, coming closer and closer until they form a tight circle, destroying all hope of escape. They show no emotion on their faces except for the occasional mischievous smirk. I tense, preparing for a fight. If I have to, I will protect my brothers to whatever end. I refuse to let them get hurt.
The silence is stretched on for minutes and I wait anxiously for something to happen. I glance around from Felix to Peter, trying to decipher the expressions on their faces, but they are both blank canvases, showing no emotion. I begin to feel claustrophobic from all of the boys packed tightly around us and I do not know how much longer of this silence I can endure.
When I feel like I am about to scream, a sudden smile illuminates Peter's face, making him appear wild. My stomach twists in knots and a feeling of dread settles over me. This cannot be good, I think to myself. Peter raises his arms in a grand gesture and shouts, "Boys, we have some new recruits!" Instantaneously, every boy becomes frantic, jumping up and down ecstatically, raising their fists victoriously in the air, and howling like a pack of wolves on the night of a full moon.
The thick tension I felt in the air has instantly vanished and I stare on in bewilderment at this spectacle, confused as to what exactly is going on. The boys begin to dance around tumultuously and before I can stop them, Michael and John join in, and I lose them in the chaotic sea of boys. Above the commotion, I manage to yell out to Peter who stands at the center of the mayhem and catch his attention.
Peter saunters over to me with a smug expression on his face and his lips turn up into a smirk.
"You called?" He says, not bothering to hide his amusement at my bewilderment.
I gesture around me at the wild dancing around us and shout over the ruckus, "Who are all these boys?"
He glances around us. "These are my Lost Boys", he states proudly.
"Who?" I ask, exasperated with vague answers that leave me with only more questions.
Peter smiles at me and it makes me shudder at the glint in his eyes. "You'll find out soon enough." And with that, he walks away, becoming lost in the frenzy, and I am left standing in the middle of this chaos, all alone.
️
Eventually, the boys cease their dancing and dash back into the forest, and I am able to make out John and Michael running among them. I grow panicked as they disappear within the trees.
"Michael! John!" I call out in vain, but they cannot hear me over the hollering of the other boys.
"Relax."
I jump, not knowing that anyone was behind me. I turn to see Peter standing next to me, grinning as he watches the boys run into the woods.
"They're just going to get something to eat."
At the mention of food, my stomach growls loudly at the prospect of eating something. I place my hand on my stomach as if that will somehow cure the gnawing hunger that is consuming me. Peter glances down at my stomach than back at me and he gives me a knowing smile. I wait in silence, thinking he might be a gentleman and offer me food, but I should have known by now that Peter is anything but a gentleman because he stands there, silently amused with my obvious hunger.
"Pan," I make sure to emphasize his name, as he corrected me the last time. "May I please accompany you and the other boys? I am quite hungry."
Peter just looks at me and begins to tap his chin with his forefinger as if in deep thought and I resist the urge to roll my eyes for what feels like the thousandth time today. I place my hands on my hips and start tapping my foot impatiently as I wait for him to decide whether or not to starve me.
After what seems like a century, Peter says, "I suppose you can eat with us," I smile gratefully. "And I know this might be hard for you, but try to keep quiet. I don't need you filling the boys' heads with girlish fantasies." My blood boils at Peter's comment and I want to slap him. Seeming to be completely oblivious to my fury, Peter shoves his hands in his pockets and saunters off into the forest in the same direction the boys went, whistling an unknown tune to himself. I have no choice but to trudge along after him, the image of food dancing around my head.
We descend into the woods and I am not as nervous as I was the last time I walked within these trees. Then, I had been alone, hungry, and worried for my brothers, and although I may still be hungry and worried, I am not alone. I glance at Peter in front of me who strolls along through the forest with sure footing, exuding confidence. He continues to whistle a mindless tune and seems to be without a care in the world. I envy that.
Since the day I could walk without tripping over my own feet, my mother has drilled into me proper etiquette and manners that a young lady like me should have if I were to ever marry into a wealthy and well-respected family. It was the way I was raised. When I danced outside in the rain on a summer's day, my mother dragged me by the arm inside and said sternly to me, "A young lady does not frolic in the mud." When I ran around the house with my brothers playing pirates with wooden sticks, my mother shouted at me, "A young lady does not race down the halls." And when I did not want to move out of the nursery when I turned 16, my mother sat me down on a settee and she said to me, with weariness in her voice, "A young lady must become a woman."
And thus is my life. I have never been free to do as I please. I have always been bound by family loyalty and duty. I feel as though I am a bird that has been caged for so long, it has forgotten how to fly. But here, there are no cages. No expectations to uphold, no rules to follow, and no metal bars to keep me in place. And for some reason, that frightens me more than anything.
"Hey, hurry up!"
I snap out of my revelry to see that Peter is several yards ahead of me, looking rather annoyed that I have slowed my pace. He crosses his arms and shouts, "I haven't got all day to wait around for you. I will leave you behind to be trapped forever in the Neverwoods."
I shiver at the prospect of being alone in the forest and quicken my pace until I am once again a few feet behind Peter.
He guides me towards a huge tree located what seems to be in the center of the forest. As we get closer, I realize that there is a house nestled within the tree's dense foliage. A ladder hangs from a branch and Peter wastes no time climbing up and disappearing into the treehouse, leaving me alone. I sigh and begin the long climb up the ladder. My legs and arms are burning from the exertion and I am panting by the time I reach the top where there is a platform to stand on. It leads to a large wooden house with a curtain as the door. I can make out the sounds of laughter and clapping and know that my brothers are inside. I push back the curtain and step inside.
Instantly, I am greeted with a delicious smell. Beef stew. My mouth waters at the aroma. Inside the small house, there is a long table with benches on both sides with boys from the forest sitting, laughing and talking. I see John and Michael sitting in between two of the older boys that look to be about fifteen and sixteen. My brothers smile and wave at me and I wave back, glad to see that they are alright. I briefly notice that Peter does not seem to be sitting among them, but I am quickly distracted from that. I look to see that every boy has a bowl of that mouth-watering stew in front of them and I become ravenous, but suppress the urge to grab the first bowl I find and lick it clean.
I glance around for an empty seat and see that there is an open one on the log bench towards the end of the table. I gladly take a sit, sighing in relief to rest my aching feet. I look up to see that Felix sits directly across from me and I smile shyly. He nods his head in recognition and turns back to talk to a small boy with red curls. Felix and I are both seated next to a chair at the head of the table, which seems more like a throne. The chair is massive and the dark oak wood that is tangled and twisted to form it is embellished with glittering green gems. I roll my eyes at the ridiculous chair. I am willing to bet who the owner is.
A bowl of beef stew is placed in front of me by a younger boy wearing an apron and holding a ladle. I smile in thanks at him and turn back to the food in front of me. I am silent as I practically inhale the beef stew. Nothing has ever tasted this good and I almost moan at the warmth that floods my body.
Around me, the boys are laughing and talking energetically and I smile. I look up from my now empty bowl and see Felix staring at me and the intensity of his gaze makes me blush. A small smile plays at his lips and I can see that he is trying to force it back. He opens his mouth, about to say something to me when a gust of wind blows from a door I did not notice before that is tucked in the back corner of the room, enshrouded in darkness. All heads turn to see none other than Peter Pan strut in. He exudes confidence and arrogance and my blood boils with anger. He stalks towards the chair at the head of the table. I glare at him as he smirks at me and slides into his chair, putting his feet up on the table, right in front of my face.
"Do you mind?" I say, putting as much bitterness as I can into my voice. "Nope, not at all," Peter says. I clench my fists involuntarily and glare at him. He gives me an amused look and I grit my teeth, resisting the urge to throw my wooden spoon at his head. Peter smirks and turns his attention back to the unruly boys crowded at the table.
Throughout the entire meal, Peter just listens and occasionally smiles to himself at some of the comments while I glare at him. A bowl of beef stew is placed before him by the boy wearing the apron, but he never actually eats any of it. He simply twirls the spoon around in the broth, staring at it intently, while listening to everyone's conversation. His eyes remained fixed on the bowl, as if that stew contained the answers to the universe inside if only one were to stare at its contents long enough.
Peter stands up when the last bowl is licked clean and the table immediately falls into silence, even the youngest of the Lost Boys, sit at attention to listen. He clears his throat and says, "As some of you might have noticed, we have some new people among us tonight. First, meet our two newest Lost Boys! John and Michael!" I stare in shock as Peter gestures to my two brothers who stand up proudly onto the table and dance wildly while the other boys clap and cheer, pumping their fists in the air.
"What?!" I shriek. All laughter stops and the boys turn to stare wide-eyed between Peter and I. John and Michael climb down from the table and take their seats quietly. The atmosphere becomes tense, like a sudden and thick fog. I swallow the lump in my throat, regretting my outburst as the candles around the room flicker and a darkness seems to emanate from Peter as he stares at me, his eyes turning cold. With a menacing expression on his face, he asks, "Do you have a problem?" There is no mistaking his threatening tone, but I refuse to let my brothers become a part of whatever this is.
"There is no way that I am letting my brothers join some-some cult! We are leaving first thing in the morning and getting off this god forsaken island!" I scream. I did not think it was possible, but Peter's eyes darken even more so. His eyes once emerald green, turn into obsidian, so black that there is no white in his eyes, just oblivion. The room becomes even more silent, if that were possible and I can feel all of the boys-even Felix-hold their breath as they wait for Peter's outburst.
I brace myself for what is bound to be yelling, but instead Peter's voice turns into a threatening whisper that makes a shiver run up my spine. "Wendy, you will not leave this island without my permission and I do not grant you that, so it looks like you're stuck here, like it or not," his voice drops even lower, so it's just a hush that I doubt even the boys can hear. "Nothing happens on this island without my knowledge or without my command. You will not leave. Is that clear?"
Peter stares menacingly at me and the boys are all in shock, except for Felix, who is staring into his bowl, his entire body tense. I noticed that the wooden spoon that is gripped tightly in his clenched fist, has splintered, shattering fragments of wood across the table. He lifts his eyes the smallest fraction and I can see the warning in them: in order to survive, I have to be smart. It is enough to remind me that my brothers are counting on me to get us off this island. If the only way to do that is through Peter, I have to play nice, so I do what my mother has taught me many times and I bury any emotion deep inside me, never to see the light of day. But I am not an expert like Mother. "Crystal," I spit out.
As if a flip has been switched, Peter's eyes turn bright again as he continues his speech, acting as though nothing had ever happened. "As I was saying, we welcome our new brothers! Raise a glass to John and Michael!" He raises his cup and the other Lost Boys follow suit, forgetting all about Peter's threatening demeanor not one minute ago. They toast my brothers while I sit silent and still, trying to withhold a scream in frustration.
Peter continues, "We also welcome our very first girl to Neverland, Wendy Darling! She will be our storyteller and regale all of us with tales filled with mystery and adventure! To Wendy!" He raises his glass, and before the cup can touch his lips, he says quietly so that only I can hear, "I know she will not disappoint." Peter takes a long, slow sip as he stares down at me, a mischievous look in his eyes. He winks at me, careful not to let anyone else notice, and another shiver runs down my spine, not from fear, but something else entirely, and I'm not sure I like what it is.
After dinner, Felix introduced me to the Lost Boys, but there are too many to keep track of. Some looked so young that they could not have been any older than six, particularly a small boy named Teacup, who carried a stuffed bear in his arms and had big, blue eyes. He reminded me so much of Michael when he was that age.
To my relief, however, most of the boys looked to be in their teenage years. They all varied in height and features, but one boy in particular caught my eye. He introduced himself as Rufio and looked about 17. His eyes were as black as tar along with his hair. He seemed so familiar and I remember that he was one of the boys that surrounded me in the clearing where Felix had brought me and I had first met Peter. He was utterly disturbing and I shivered involuntarily around him. When we made eye contact, his eyes travelled down my body in the most unpleasant way and I moved closer to Felix.
Looking around, I was shocked by how many Lost Boys there were on this island. They all surrounded me and made me feel small and childish in comparison. Each boy had a crazed look in their eyes, something wild and feral that left me on edge and I didn't like how they gazed hungrily at me as if they were starved and I were there next meal for them to devour until there was nothing left of me. The only one who looked at me as though they wanted nothing from me was Felix, and that made me feel safer in this wild place filled with wilder boys. Felix seemed to be the only tame one here, and I kept close to him, hoping that even though he hardly knows me, he would shield me from whatever dangers lurked around in the shadows.
After I was introduced to all of the Lost Boys, I whispered to Felix, "How many of them are there?" Without looking at me, he answers, "'Bout thirty now." I stare blankly at him. Thirty? How is that possible? How many children has Peter taken from their beds and brought here against their will?
Once calmed down, the boys disappear into a massive wall of vines and leaves and I see John and Michael amongst them, leaving just me and Felix, Peter having vanished amongst the chaos that ensued after dinner. Felix walks up to the vines and parts them. I peer into the dark cave and ask with uncertainty, "Nobody is going to appear out of thin air and attack me, right?" Felix chuckles as he remembers our first meeting when he hid in a tree and kidnapped me. He shakes his head, "You do want to get some sleep, don't you?"
At the idea of getting sleep, I hesitantly walk into the darkness and I hear Felix enter behind me. The vines close around us, encasing us in complete darkness and I panic, never having liked the dark. Even in the nursery, Mother and Father made sure to leave a candle burning long into the night so I could rest easily. Now, there is no candle and I am in pitch blackness. "What do we do now," I ask Felix, attempting to keep the panic out of my voice and failing. Instead of responding, Felix grabs my hand and pulls me forward. The warmth of his hand chases the cold that had entered my veins and covers me in a radiant heat that relaxes my body.
At first, we walk in silence and I think the darkness might continue for all eternity, but then, something strange happens. A shimmer of light appears in front of us. An image. It's edges are blurred and it is hard to discern, but it looks to be like a forest. As we continue to walk, I squint harder as the forest becomes more clear and the darkness begins to recede. Felix and I take one more step and suddenly, it's as if we have come up for air from holding our breath. The forest surrounds us now, no longer a painting on a canvas and I whirl around to see that gone are the wall of vines and instead is more of the same forest, as if the cave never even existed.
Felix chuckles to himself as he sees my expression of astonishment. "It's an enchantment," he explains, as if magic is a normal occurrence. "It conceals our camp so that enemies can't find it. Even if they walk right through this part of the forest, they won't be able to see us."
I stare in awe. In the trees is what looks to be a whole city. Houses and bridges and walkways are built all around the tree trunks, connecting one house to another. Candles in the windows of each home light up the sky that has darkened now the sun has begun to set. Boys walk across bridges and climb up ladders hundreds of feet in the air and I stare in amazement at it all. I am certainly not in London anymore.
We stand in silence until Felix says, "John and Michael are bunking with some of the younger boys, we just need a place for her." It takes me a moment to realize that Felix is no longer talking to me, but to somebody behind us. I spin around and come face to face with a muscular chest. I blush profusely and step back, looking into emerald green eyes.
"Will you stop doing that?" I say, growing tired of him disappearing and reappearing out of thin air and startling me each time.
"Doing what?" Peter asks innocently, knowing perfectly well what I mean. He stares at me and I find myself completely in a trance, unable to look away from his piercing gaze. We stay like that for what seems like an eternity until Felix breaks the silence and asks Peter, "Where do you want me to put her?"
Never taking his gaze off of me, Peter says with mischief in his voice, "She will stay with me, Felix." Peter's gaze dips down to my chest and lower, slowly dragging across every inch of my body and I feel as though he can see right through my thin, white lace nightgown. I immediately cross my arms over my chest, attempting to cover myself, as an angry blush spreads across my cheeks. "I'm sure we can find ways to… occupy ourselves. And besides… it might finally shut her up when I put that pretty mouth to use." I gasp indignantly and without thinking, I punch Peter right in the jaw. Hard.
To my utter disappointment, he just stands there with a smug smile on his face. I don't think my punch hurt him, but it definitely hurt me. I heard a very sickening crack in my wrist.
"Jesus! That hurt!" I scream, and Peter shrugs nonchalantly as he steps aside. Felix gestures towards my hand and I offer it to him reluctantly and he gently examines my wrist. His fingers caress my skin softly as he applies pressure to different areas on my wrist until I hiss through my teeth in pain.
"It's sprained," he whispers, "I'll take her with me." It's a statement, but Felix directs it as a question to the arrogant boy who is staring at me with a smug expression on his face. I would love nothing more than to sprain my other wrist punching him. Peter just nods and walks away into the woods, disappearing once again.
Felix leads me to the base of a tree where up above is what I assume to be where his house is. I look up with uncertainty at the height as I cradle my injured hand against my chest. There is no possible way that I could climb all the way up there, but Felix does not worry. He brings two fingers to his lips and whistles a sharp, high-pitched note. He smiles as I look up to see a rope with a small platform being lowered to the ground. Felix steps on and I follow suit, grabbing the rope for balance with my uninjured hand. Felix, sensing my hesitancy, wraps one of his arms around my waist bringing me closer while he whistles a low-pitched note with his other hand.
The rope begins ascending into the trees and I cling to Felix as we rise higher and higher off the ground. He chuckles at my frightening yelp, but does not say anything as he allows me to clutch him tightly. We come to a larger platform and Felix steps off first before turning around and grabbing me to carry me off the rope and onto somewhat solid ground. He sets me down gently and I open my eyes for the first time after shutting them tightly on our ascent into the sky.
The view is even more incredible up here. The sun has completely set and lights have been lit everywhere in the homes and walkways, making the entire camp look like fireflies. Boys scurry along the bridges and walkways that connect throughout the entire camp. I peer down into the ground and immediately back away from the ledge and into Felix. We must be at least a hundred feet off the ground and that thought alone terrifies me. I am not scared of much, but one thing that does scare me above all else is heights. I inwardly groan. Out of all places, why did their camp have to be in the trees?
Felix chuckles as he places his hand on my lower back, leading me to a wooden house that is nestled within the foliage of the tree. Felix opens the door and gestures for me to step inside and I am surprised by what I see.
The house looks bigger on the inside. The room furnished with a small bed pressed up against the side, a dresser opposite it, and a small table and chairs. A few candles are scattered around the room, offering a warm glow, but not enough light to fill the entire room. I examine the room and am surprised that there are not many personal items anywhere and no pictures of family. Nothing to hint at Felix's life or personality. The floorboards squeak beneath me and the sudden image of falling through the floor and plummeting to my death briefly invades my mind, but I shake my head, ridding the ridiculous notion. Mostly.
Felix leads me towards the bed and I sit on the edge. He moves to the dresser, opening the top drawer and pulls out bandages. He then kneels in front of me and I become apprehensive. Felix is very close. His nose is just inches away from my nose and I blush furiously. He delicately takes my hand and carefully wraps a bandage around my wrist over and over. His fingers brush my arm and it sends delightful tingles throughout my body. My blush deepens. It may be darker in here, but I know that Felix can see it, which makes me blush harder.
I have never been this close to a boy before. In London, it is never proper to have intimate contact with a man until you were married, and if you were to get married, you would have to be courted first. You would take long strolls in the park under the watchful eyes of a chaperone. You would go on a carriage ride through the square on a crisp winter's night. And only after stealing a few chaste kisses and receiving your father's blessing, would you be proposed to.
I have never done any of those things. Marriage has never interested me. In fact, the whole idea of pledging yourself to one person and trusting that person completely for the rest of your life sounds absolutely terrifying. My parents have been trying to push me towards eligible men ever since I turned sixteen, but I have refused. I do not believe that I am ready for that sort of commitment, no matter how many times Mother tells me that girls younger than I have a husband and are expecting children.
But I do not want that. I do not want to be tied down to a husband and children. I do not want a white picket fence and church on Sundays. What I yearn for is freedom. Freedom to do as I please, to travel, to explore. Freedom to just be myself without the restrictions of society scrutinizing my every step. I know, deep down, that I can never have this and that I am doomed to a life of domestication, but when I am asleep within the confines of my mind, I dream of flying over London, past the clock tower and the city streets, towards the great unknown.
Lost in my thoughts, I jump when Felix pats my hand and announces, "All done."
Startled, I look down to see that my wrist has been wrapped in white bandages and has stopped pulsing. There is still a dull pain, but not nearly as excruciating as it was earlier. I look to Felix, who has his back to me, putting the supplies away, and whisper, "Thank you." He does not respond but simply nods his head in acknowledgment. A moment of silence passes before I bombard Felix with a million questions that I have been dying for answers ever since I awoke on the beach.
"What is this place? Who are you? Is that really Peter Pan?" I blurt out. Felix slams the dresser drawer shut and whirls around, obviously exasperated with my ignorance. He sighs and says, "Look. You aren't in London anymore, you're in Neverland. And here, asking questions will land you either caged, dead, or suffering from fates much worse. So I suggest you stop asking questions." Felix's voice drops so low that I strain to hear him. "Because everything you've ever been told about this place is a lie."
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So much has happened today that it's hard to fully grasp any of it. My brain keeps spinning around and around in my skull. Neverland. Lost Boys. Felix. Peter Pan. I am so exhausted that I could sleep for days. Most likely feeling pity for me, Felix's intense gray eyes soften. I am still sitting on his bed awkwardly, not sure what I should do. But Felix just starts taking out extra sheets from a drawer and throws one of the pillows from the bed onto the floor. He then lies down and says, "I'll sleep down here, you take the bed."
"Felix, no. You do not have to do that. This is your bed, I will be perfectly fine on the floor," I say, attempting to put as much bravado as I can into my voice, having never slept on anything harder than a soft mattress and goose feather pillows. Felix chooses to ignore me as he flops down onto the pillow and yawns, "Get some sleep. You'll need it for tomorrow," before shutting his eyes. "What's tomorrow," I ask, my imagination running wild with all the horrible possibilities, but Felix does not respond. I creep to the end of the bed and glance down, surprised to see that he has already fallen asleep, his breathing even and steady. With a sigh, I sink into his bed, grateful for his warm sheets and pillows. "Thank you, Felix," I whisper to the empty silence of the room, not expecting an answer. I turn on my side and close my eyes, but I do not expect sleep to come easy with my brain still overrun with so many thoughts.
What am I going to do? My brothers and I cannot stay here on this island forever. I have to somehow get Peter's permission to leave. That shouldn't be too difficult… right? But something tells me that convincing Peter to leave will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do, harder than trying on my first corset.
These thoughts and so many more swirl inside my head for what feels like countless hours, but eventually, I drift off into a restless sleep.
Then the nightmares begin.
—
I am running through the forest. Gnarled and twisted branches loom over me and snag at my hair and clothes. My nightgown and slippers are destroyed and in tatters, revealing my skin underneath. I stumble through the woods. Roots poke out of the ground and brambles pull at my already torn nightgown, making it hard to run away from the monster that chases me through this dark forest. I can feel its hot breath on my neck. Its heavy panting getting louder as it gets closer. I dare to look back and scream when I see a fog of darkness billowing towards me. In the middle of the mass are bright golden eyes, glowing brilliantly against the darkness. Not looking where I am stepping, I trip over a root and tumble to the ground, my ankle twisted. My head hits the back of a tree trunk with a loud thunk and I feel blood trickle down my ear. The monster smells the warm liquid and rushes towards me. I am powerless to stop it.
The golden, angelic eyes loom over me, looking out of place within the black fog. I hear sinister chuckling and the dark mass creeps closer, so that it's gold eyes are mere centimeters from mine. Expecting a terrible odor that will make my eyes water, I am surprised when I only smell the faint scent of evergreen.
Dark hands reach out from the shadow and grab me by the neck, lifting me up off the ground and cutting off my air supply. I flail and kick, doing anything to release me from it's death grip, but it is no use. I hear more than see the unsheathing of a blade and my eyes bulge. A shimmer and then the agonizing pain of metal entering my body. I am released and crumple to the ground, my eyelids shutting closed, too exhausted to stay open. My world turns black and I enter oblivion.
—
I fly out of the bed, my scream piercing the silence. My heart is pounding and my body feels as though it is on fire. Hands grip my face and I panic. I blindly punch the air until I smack something solid and hear a curse. There is silence for a moment until I hear someone shuffling around in the dark. A light blazes through the tent and my eyes adjust and take in my surroundings.
I see Felix hovering over me, scared to make any movement as though I was a wounded gazelle. He hesitantly and slowly makes his way to sit on the edge of the bed and places the back of his hand on my forehead. "You're burning up," he says. Tears blur my vision, but I hold them back, not wanting to cry in front of Felix. I only nod.
Felix stays silent as he sits by my side. I think that that is his way of comforting me, and I give a halfhearted smile, but I do not wish to be around anyone right now. I need to be alone. My lip begins to quiver and I bite it, trying to force a brave face. I slide out of the bed and leave the small house that brought me a brief reprieve from the craziness of today. Before I go, I whisper, "I'm sorry," and step out into the night.
The cool breeze kisses my face and I close my eyes, savoring the feeling of the fresh air. I look up at the moon and estimate that the sun will be up in only a couple hours. I know that I won't be able to go back to sleep, so I wander around the camp in the trees, occasionally walking by torches whose flames still burn brilliantly, even in the small hours of the night. How do the flames not go out? I wonder, but I'm too tired to really care. I sit down on a random platform and lean my head back on one of the houses, not having the foggiest idea of whose home this one belongs to.
The memory of the nightmare is still vivid and the thought of it makes me shiver. I close my eyes and see the golden ones amongst the shadow of darkness. Taking a deep breath and pushing the piercing eyes into the recesses of my mind, I feel my heart rate slow down as I listen to the sounds of my first night on Neverland.
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Author's Notes: Wow! That was really long for me! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, but it's been pretty crazy. I promise I will try to post more soon! But anyway, please review! I love to hear what you guys think! See you next time!
