A/N: HEY, Y'ALL!!!! It's been too long! Well, Chapter 3 is pretty short, so I'm gonna upload Chap. 4 and possibly Chap. 5, too. So you know. Oh, I don't own the Mighty Ducks or any of the characters, though I wish I could have Adam Banks tied up in my basement. Oops! Wasn't supposed to tell you that! SHH!! So if you sue me, might get a nickel and a couple of cheesy sketches. But whatever! On with the story.

Portman's Assignment

"Dear Diary?" What the…? "Write your personal information, thoughts, and feelings for a grade in your future Psychology class?" Give me a break!!

Fine, if you want personal, I'll give you personal.

I'm Dean Portman. I'm 16 and am also a sophomore. I used to live in Chicago, but am now in Minneapolis with my teammates at Eden Hall. Freakin' preppy school!

I share a dorm room with my best friend and fellow bash brother, Fulton. Here's a sentence about each of the other members of my team:

Averman is a dork. Ken is the Little Bash Brother. Charlie's the Captain. Goldberg is our new defensive man. Julie is a babe. Connie is Guy's girl (two in one, score!). Adam is a preppy. Dwayne's a cowboy. Russ has a big mouth. Luis thinks he's a pimp.

There you go. I'm not feeling anything "emotionally significant" at the moment, except annoyance at this stupid assignment. It's worse than Averman. I knew I should have taken woodshop! But no, I had to take Psych!

This is making me Psych-o! I'm going to bed. Screw this!

A/N: See, it's totally short. But, of course, it is Portman talking. J/K. Buh-bye!!