A/N:I don' think I mentioned this before butItalics are internal thoughts. Thanks for reading and please review.

Chapter # 2: Instincts

Patty walked towards the stump where Zander was sitting. It had been a few days since they'd discovered he'd lost five years of his life and understandably he'd kept to himself. In a way though, she knew how he felt. She'd been homeless for years now and her mind had begun jumbling time so she knew what it felt like to lose time and how precious you realized it was once you lost it.

"Are you alright?" she stood behind him. "I know this must be quite a shock."

He shook his head, irritation clearly written all over his face. "I think losing five years of my life is more than a shock Patty!"

"I know," she sympathized.

"How could you know?" he stood up, his voice angered. "My life is a fog."

"Easy," Patty's voice rose. "I didn't know what year it was either, only I was awake. I didn't sleep through it; I lived it!" She shook her head. "My life is and continues to be a waking fog. At least yours makes sense." Her voice calmed. "Nothing makes sense for me."

"I'm sorry Patty," Zander knew she'd been through a lot and that none of what was happening to him was her fault. "I didn't mean to yell at you; I appreciate everything you've done for me, that's real talk."

"I know," Patty gave a soft smile. "And you're welcome." She studied him for a moment. "You look like there's something else on your mind."

Zander nodded. "Ava," he exhaled deeply. "I keep thinking about where she's at now; if she's okay."

"I wish I could do more to help," she shrugged.

"You can," he replied. "I think I'm pretty much recovered so maybe you can show me where you last saw her."

"The building," Patty said thoughtfully as she brought her mind back to the day she watched the blonde get into the van. "Maybe you'll be able to find a clue that'll lead you to where she is now."

"That's what I'm hoping for," Zander said. He only hoped that too much time hadn't already passed and that it wasn't too late.


Tess smiled as she approached the grassy area where Jared sat. They had met for lunch everyday at this very spot since the day they met and Tess had to admit that she hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone since she left Roswell, besides Estel. He was handsome, smart, and incredibly sweet to her and she wondered if someday she'd actually be able to share her secret with him.

"Hey," Jared held out his hand for balance as Tess sat down on the blanket he'd spread out.

"Hey," after she was seated she leaned over to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "Aren't you sick of doing all this yet?"

"No," he smiled as he handed her a bottle of orange soda.

Tess accepted the drink and then held out her hand, silently asking him for something else.

Jared shook his head as he reached into the pocket in the lining of the basket and retrieved the sugar packets he knew she wanted. "You're going to get diabetes; you know that right?"

"Thank you for the warning but I'll take my chances," Tess flashed a smile as she began pouring the sugar into the soda bottle and then took a sip. "Umm."

"I still don't know how you drink that," he raises his brows at her, amused.

Tess shrugged. "I've always believed that nothing can ever be too sweet…"

"Or too spicy," he finished for her. "I know."

And he did, she thought to herself. Jared had come to know her in the last week more than anyone else since Kyle, Max, and Estel and that was saying a lot. It felt both scary and amazing that she liked him so much, so fast. But what was so wonderful is that she knew he felt the same way about her. At least I hope he does.

"What are you thinking?" Jared looked at her curiously, trying to read the thoughtful expression on her face.

"Nothing," she bit at the corner of her mouth and then gave a smile. "I was wondering what took you so long to find me."

"What do you mean?" he asked a bit abruptly.

"Nothing," Tess looked at him curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jared's voice calmed as he shook his head. "I'm sorry; I'm just a little on edge, it's just this thing at work." He exhaled slowly and reached over to hold her hand. "What did you mean?"

"Just that I wish we met each other before this," Tess blushed slightly, a trait she was not used to displaying. "Now I'm embarrassed."

"You?" he raised his eyebrows at her, a mocking smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "That's a first."

She rolled her eyes playfully but said nothing.

"You never have to be embarrassed with me okay," he cupped her face in his palm. "I feel the same way; I'm really glad that I found you."

Her eyes looked up into his as Jared leaned over and kissed her deeply.


Patty and Zander trudged down the street in search of the building Patty seen Ava outside of. Patty was unsure of how long it had been since she saw the young girl get into the van that drove away but they hoped that even if she didn't still live there, they'd be able to find someone who knew her when she did or a clue to where she could be now.

As they rounded the corner Patty stopped abruptly, pointing to one of the abandoned buildings. "That's it."

Zander just nodded and followed Patty across the street to the targeted building. When they walked up to it they noticed all the windows had been boarded up and there was a deadbolt on the door. As Patty searched for some other way to get in Zander placed his hand on the door, opening the lock with his powers before pushing the door open.

"Patty," he called to her. "We're in."

"How'd you get that open?" Patty asked as she followed him inside.

Zander shrugged. "Just lucky I guess." He turned to close the door and then motioned with his head. "C'mon."

The room was dimly lit; the only light was the setting sunlight that sifted in through the holes and spaces of the panels and boards that covered the windows. There was glass strewn all over the floor as well as shards of wood, which they assumed came form the broken beam across the room. Zander and Patty both observed the items in the room, reminders of people who had squatted there but nothing that Zander thought could be linked to Ava.

"Why don't we try upstairs?" Patty pointed to the staircase and then turned around quickly. "I think they've followed usin here."

"Sure," Zander said slowly, knowing Patty was once again in her own world. He ascended the stairs quickly with Patty following closely behind. They searched each of the rooms but found the same type of atmosphere as downstairs. Both feeling a bit dejected, they finally came to the last room.

It looked just as disheveled as the others but there was more furniture in it: two couches, an overturned table, a wicker chair, and a bassinette that lay on its side.

"How could anyone live her with a baby?" Patty asked.

"You'd be surprised," Zander replied stonily, thinking about how he and his family grew up in the sewers. Family. He almost laughed out loud at the word. Two members of his so called family had tried to kill him and now he was searching for the last remaining member he could trust. Ava was all he had left; she was his only family now and although it pained him to admit it, it hurt.

He shook his head free of his thoughts and began searching through the mess on the floor. He moved the old wrappers and papers from underneath the table, searching for anything that would give him some indication that she had been there and where she went after she left this place. Just as he was about to move on, a business card caught his eye.

"The 169 Bar," he read quietly.

"What?" Patty, who'd been staring blankly at the wall as if she were looking through it, turned at the sound of his voice. "Did you find something?"

"The 169 Bar," he said louder this time. "It's a dive bar in Manhattan; a pretty gully place in China Town actually."

"And you've been there?" she asked, her mind sounding sane again.

"Yeah I've been there," he answered. "We used to hang out there sometimes; we knew the bartender." Zander paused briefly. "A guy named Bruce."

"Do you think he may have spoken to her recently?" She looked up from the blanket she'd picked up from the bassinette.

"There's only one way to find out," he glanced down at the card and then looked towards her again. "When's the last time you've been to a bar?"

Patty shrugged. "I don't know."

"Then I guess it's long overdue," Zander replied. "Let's go."


Tess walked down the sidewalk, breathing in the cool dusk air. She couldn't stop talking about Jared and Estel was more than pleased to hear about him. She wasn't sure what it was about him but something felt so familiar about him; as if she'd known him before.

In a way it sort of worried her though that she liked him so much and that it was all happening so quickly. All her relationships after Max had ended pretty suddenly; they'd get too serious and she'd pull away, just as Estel said. Tess wanted to share herself, her whole self, so badly but she never felt like it was safe. She wanted to feel what she felt for Max or what she felt for Zan when she was Ava but nothing came close.

It had been easier to open up to Max because they shared a past, even if he didn't remember any of it, and they shared a secret. But even with Max, Tess had to admit that she'd held back parts of herself; partly because he'd been so afraid to let her in in the first place but partly because she'd been afraid that he'd reject her, even more than he already had.

It was strange where the mind could take you, she thought. Tess would try not to think about Max or the others but almost everyday she thought of them, of him. And she thought of Ava too, especially around the anniversary of her death. It had been exactly three years and five days since her duplicate died in her place and every year without fail the dreams and the guilt came back. Although the guilt never truly goes away.

As Tess continued walking back towards her house, she suddenly got the strangest feeling that someone was following her. Tess stopped abruptly and looked around but there was no one across the street or behind her. Just as she turned forward again, she was suddenly pushed back.

"Hey!" she stumbled, holding her powers from exploding to the surface as the man who bumped into her grumble something inaudible and continued walking past her.

For a moment, she had a flash of gray slanted eyes and the light of an aura being snuffed out by darkness. The whole thing lasted less than a half a second but she knew the aura she had been feeling.

"Michael?" Tess called as she spun around but the mysterious man had vanished.


Zander and Patty walked into the bar and immediately sat at one of the tables near the side wall, trying to blend in. Surprisingly the small bar was full tonight, unlike when Zander used to frequent it.

"I'm gonna go get a couple of beers so we don't look out of place," he whispered. "Just stay here and don't talk to anyone."

Patty nodded before taking a handful of peanuts that were sitting in a bowl on the table and then watching him head towards the bar.

"Hey," Zander gave a quick nod as the bartender looked over at him. "Let me get two of whatever you have on tap."

"Sure thing," the woman smiled as she filled the two cups and set them on the bar. "Four bucks."

Zander dropped a five dollar bill on the counter and then looked up at her. "You the only bartender here tonight?"

"Why; what exactly are you looking for?" she leaned over and placed her elbow on the counter, chin resting on the back of her fist.

Zander shook his head, slightly amused. "I used to come here a couple years back; Bruce still around?"

"Not tonight," she said flippantly, stepping back from the counter. "He took a couple days off but he'll be back next Saturday."

"Cool," he replied, then thought he'd press to see if she knew anything else. "Do Rath and Loni still come here?"

"I don't know them," she answered smoothly although something in her eyes told him she was hiding something. "You're not an undercover are you?"

"Nah," Zander laughed. "Just looking for some old friends." He picked up the beers. "Thanks," he flashed a smile before turning and walking back to the table where Patty was sitting.

"You find out anything?" Patty looked up at him.

"Is that bartender girl still watching me?" he asked, his instincts telling him she was.

Patty glanced behind him carefully. "Yes she is."

He smiled. "I think that means I did."


Tess walked over to Zan and pulled the covers up around him before kissing him softly on the forehead. Kicking off the covers was something she was sure he'd inherited from her since she couldn't recall his father ever doing it. Although she had to admit, she really didn't know what Max did.

Most of her knowledge of Max came from before, when he was King Zan and she had been his queen. The man she'd known in this life had the qualities of Zan but somehow he'd been different, or rather indifferent towards her. And now she'd met Jared, whom she'd spent time with everyday this week and he was anything but indifferent towards her; Jared who seemed to be too good to be true and deep down she wondered if he was.

Tess stroked her son's dirty blonde hair before leaving the bedroom and closing the door softly behind her. She made her way to where Estel was sitting, tea cup in hand.

"Is Zan asleep?" Estel looked up from her tea.

"Yes," Tess answered as she poured her own cup and sat down in the seat across from the older woman.

"So have you broken up with Jared yet?" Estel fiddled with her spoon.

"What would make you ask that?" Tess stared down at her tea as she stirred it around, making a mini-whirlpool in her cup.

"Because you have that look, although it's happened much sooner than I expected." Estel raised her brows in her all knowing nature, taking note of the look in her surrogate daughter's eyes. "Then you're just thinking about it then."

"I don't know," Tess exhaled deeply as she sat the spoon on the saucer. "He wants to meet Zan."

"And that's a bad thing?" Estel questioned. "You said he was great with the kids from Hayes Elementary."

"He was," she nodded. "But Zan isn't just some kid; he's very important."

"Because of his father," the silver-haired woman offered.

"Yes," Tess replied. She'd told Estel that Max came from a very important family and that bad people tried to kidnap her son. "Even though it's been years, I can't help but worry that it isn't over. My sister Ava died because of it and I just can't take any risks with my son."

"And you think Jared is working for these people who are against Max's family?" Estel asked, concern washing over her features.

"No but I can't be too sure," the blonde shook her head. "You are the only person I trust with him because I know you'd do everything possible to keep him safe. I can't say the same thing about anyone else." Tess bit at her bottom lip. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid."

"I understand," she reached over and held her hand. "With everything you've been through, I don't think you're being paranoid at all. I think you're just being cautious and you have to be." She paused briefly. "If your gut is telling you to protect your child then that's what you do."

"Thank you," Tess gave a reassured smile. "I just don't want to push him away for no reason."

"And you're not," Estel returned the smile. "A mother's instinct, that's the best reason of all."