Ahh... I'm having so much fun with this fic. I'm making another fic that goes along side with this one starring Lacie's younger twin siblings. Though they get the normal units. Just so you know, if you haven't already guessed, Pirate!England is the only unit living with her. For now. I might throw in another one but that won't be until far into the future. Or when I feel like it.

However, I am working on a HetaOni fanfic called HetaOni: Wishes of Innocence. If you guys have time time, can you check it out? Please? And leave reviews behind while you're at it!

And from now on, Pirate!England shall be addressed as Arthur.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Or the idea of Hetalia units. I only own Lacie Taylor.


Chapter 3

Lacie knew that living with the pirate was going to be different as well as difficult. It was to be expected as the manual specified that he was extremely violent as well as quite the drinker. But she didn't expect him to be this difficult! It was practically bordering on ridiculous!

"Will you just take it off?" She snapped at him.

It had been two days since she received him in the mail. Two days since she took his cutlass, ran into her room to hide and try to figure out how to deactivate him. Two days since Janice came over to reprogram him before slapping a collar around his neck.

And two hours since Lacie had been arguing with him about taking off his pirate jacket and hat.

The pirate glared at her, daring her to try and take the two articles of clothing away from him.

"Fine, you asked for it Arthur." And she lunged at him.

It started with the whole idea of getting him a new set of clothes. Lacie mentioned this to the pirate, but he scoffed at the idea. There was no way he would trade in any part of trademark outfit for anything else. Not even if she shocked him with the collar now fixed around his neck and then tossed him in Davy Jones locker after wards.

And thus they fought, being hell intent on not giving into the other's demands.

"Look!" Lacie said after a good ten minutes of practically trying to rip his jacket off. "I'm not saying you can never wear your hat and jacket again! Hell, I wouldn't be trying to pry them away from you if you were going to make this much of a fuss over it! But going out with what your wearing right now is going to draw attention! No one dresses up like a pirate these days any more unless it's Halloween!"

"Am I suppose te care?" Arthur snapped at her.

Lacie had gotten tired of referring to her new housemate as 'the pirate' or 'Pirate!England' so she had settled for calling him by his default name. Of course, he would have rather her call him Captain Kirkland but Lacie retorted that he could ask someone else to inflate his ego, which was big enough as it was.

"Yes!"

The pirate scowled, but once he saw the position the both of them were in, he broke out into a smirk that made Lacie want to punch him.

"I ne'er knew ye could be so forward." He said. "Are lasses in this time as forward as ye are?"

"What are you talking about?" Lacie said, pulling the collar of his white shirt towards her. "I'm not..."

It was then that she realized exactly what he meant. Arthur was lying beneath her, his upper half being propped up by his elbows with Lacie holding him by his shirt. And Lacie was sitting on top, straddling him. It was similar to a scene in an anime called Inu Yasha when Kagome was trying to get Inu Yasha to take off his shirt so that she could take a look at his wounds. Kaede and a group of children had chanced upon them before the old priestess told the kids to avert their eyes.

Much to Arthur's amusement, the girl's face turned as red as her hair. And it was getting even redder with each passing second as she continued to hold on to him.

"You...you...!" Lacie stammered. "Gah! Bastard!"

The pirate laughed, smirking at her.

Though he wasn't laughing for long when Lacie slapped him after wards.

XXXX

Half an hour later, they had finally left the house after Lacie threatened to actually do away with his hat. The pirate reluctantly relented to getting something else for him to wear but with the condition he got to pick the clothes. Lacie agreed to the condition as long as the cost wasn't in the three number range.

"Try to behave yourself." She told him after she parked the car.

The man merely folded his arms across his chest, muttering something underneath his breath. He was wearing a black jacket over the white button up shirt she had given to him. He also had on a pair of black slacks that had belonged to her father.

Sighing, she rolled her eyes and used the remote to lock up her car once he was out.

"Come on. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get back home."

XXXX

"Do you see them?" The blonde behind the wheel asked the dark haired girl who was sitting in the back of the car.

Said girl was peering through the window, holding a pair of binoculars up to her eyes as she watched Lacie dragging a very reluctant pirate across the parking lot. She giggled, watching the man act like a four year old who was being forced into a grocery store full of vegetables by his mother.

"He is such an eye candy." The blonde sighed. "How can she not fall for him?"

"Why are we spying on them?" Asked the only male in the car. Unlike his female companions, he wasn't as keen on watching the red-head from afar. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have much choice whenever his girlfriend chose to drag him into something. So here he was, stalking one of his girlfriend's friends.

The blonde hushed him. "Because I want to see what the hot guy living at Lacie's is like!" She turned to the other girl. "What's your opinion so far?"

"Good looking but he really needs to work on the attitude. Don't worry, I'm sure Lacie will be able to straighten him out!"

XXXX

So far they had bought six pairs of shirts and five pairs of pants. For someone who had been so against going out to buy a new set of clothes, Arthur was surprisingly picky. Lacie had teased the unit about his being more fussier than a girl when it came to clothes and the pirate, blushing a faint pink, quickly picked up the clothes he wanted and shoved them roughly towards her.

"Thank you for coming!" The cashier chirped, staring at Arthur and fluttering her eyebrows.

Looking away, Lacie rolled her eyes and gagged. Could the woman be any more freaking obvious about her flirting? Arthur winking back only made her gag even more and Lacie kicked him in the shin in response to his flirting back.

Grabbing Arthur by the hand, she dragged him out of the store. The farther away she was from the chocolate haired beauty, the better. She didn't like how the girl was eying him; not because she was jealous, but because it just added to the theory that if she wasn't careful, she'd have to deal with broken hearted women and girls alike.

When they passed the food court, Lacie realized that she only had two donuts and a hot chocolate for breakfast, which had been ages ago. Checking her watch (the one that doubled as the shock collar) she saw that it was one in the afternoon.

"Hey, are you hungry?" She asked her companion.

XXXX

Sitting at the far side of the food court, the three 'spies' were still watching the pirate and their friend while conversing with each other. Or more accurately, the two girls were conversing while the male just awkwardly sat in the middle and listened to their conversation.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd have to say they were on a date!" The blonde smirked.

"She'd kill you if she heard that." The dark haired girl mused.

"Well, she can't hear me, now can she?"

"True."

Lacie had returned from with her and the pirate's food. She had gotten chicken terriyaki for herself and she placed the tray of fish and chips in front Arthur.

The dark haired girl drooled as she used the binoculars to watch Arthur eat. "That... looks so good. Hey Em, can I go get something to eat? I want to have what Lacie got the pirate!"

The blonde was going to protest, but she made the mistake of looking into the other girl's dark brown eyes. Her own eye twitched as she cursed the idiot who had created the concept of puppy eyes in the first place. "Fine! But make it quick, Janice!"

"Yay!" She handed her friend the binoculars before racing off to the fish and chips stand.

The boy of the group chuckled. "She got you Emily."

"Ugh..." She rolled her eyes. "I'm way too nice for my own good aren't I? I'm making sure that the guy living with Lacie will make a good boyfriend for her. She better thank me for this."

XXXX

"Ye e'er ha'e th' feelin' yer bein' watched?"

Lacie looked up from her food to see Arthur glancing around the food court, eying the other people. To her amusement, he had liked the food she had gotten for him. He had devoured all of it and Lacie had to get him another fish and chips meal. She made a note to buy some frozen store ones to prevent him from trying to make his own food which she had the misfortune to eat yesterday.

Apparently he was just as horrible a cook as his gentleman self. Lacie remembered waking up on the couch with the pirate grumbling under his breath about something, probably the fact that she couldn't 'appreciate good food'.

"All the time." Lacie sighed, remembering all the times Janice and Emily decided to stalk her. Emily's boyfriend, Brian, always went along with the two against his will. Lacie took pity on him by concentrating most of her anger towards the two girls who were the ones responsible for most of the grief she suffered through in the first place.

Arthur raised one of his thick eyebrows at her questioningly.

"My friends have a tendency to stalk me."

Both of Arthur's eyebrows went up as he remembered Janice, the girl responsible for the collar around his neck. She was a cheerful lass, but very strange. And sadistic as well judging by how most of her inventions were used to be a convenience for herself at the expense of others.

"Ye ha'e strange friends." He finally said, leaning against the chair. He casually rested his arm on the back of the hair and crossed one leg over the other. "Are they all like yer friend the other day?"

"I have one other named Emily. She's under the impression that I need a boyfriend and keeps setting up blind dates without asking me."

Arthur snorted. "I pity th' man who takes ye up."

Lacie narrowed her hazel eyes at him sharply and too late the pirate realized that he shouldn't have said that. "Wait, don't-"

She pushed the red button on her watch and with a grunt, the man fell over as the collar did its work.

XXXX

"Yes! It works!" Janice smiled as she watched Arthur picking himself off the floor, scowling at Lacie. There was a small smile on the red head's face as she returned to her meal.

"Why in the world would you invent something like that in the first place?" Emily asked.

"Oh, I was going to sell it as something for girls to keep their boyfriends under control. Neat idea, huh?"

There was silence as both Brian and Emily stared at Janice very hard.

"Um.. no. Just no." Brian shivered.

XXXX

After getting him another set of clothes, Arthur and Lacie were resting by the fountain.

"We're finally done." Lacie groaned as she allowed her sore feet to relax. She grimaced at the fact that the damned pirate next to her didn't seem a bit tired even though he had been standing much longer than she had.

"'Bout time." Arthur muttered, but Lacie just ignored him. "Are we goin' te leave now?"

"Yes." Lacie sighed as she glanced up at the second floor level of the mall. "What the-?"

"What is it?"

The red head frowned, her eyes narrowing sharply. She could have sworn she saw...

"You said we were being watched earlier, right?"

Arthur gave Lacie a strange look, but confirmed his earlier statement again. Biting her lip, Lacie whipped out her cellphone from her pocket and started dialing the number of the person she knew she was going to get answers from.

"Hello?" Said the person on the other line.

"Hello Brian. Say, you wouldn't happen to be with Janice and Emily stalking me would you?"

"..." Brian didn't say anything.

"Tell those two I'm going to kill them both once I get my hands on them."


Finally, I'm done this chapter! Yes, they were going to have to go shopping at some point. Now what's going to happen to Janice and Emily?

Don't for get to review! Oh wow, I can't believe how popular this story is...