"Glad to see you all in one piece," said Konan. The others just grumbled as Konan pulled out a one of the complaints of the box she had in her lap. "Let's start, shall we?"

1) I can't stand Tobi's voice. It's annoying.

'That's the point,' Tobi thought amused.

"Finally someone realizes!" said Deidara.

2) Kakuzu needs to get paid.

"Paid?" Kakuzu blinked at this. "I do get paid."

"I think they meant laid," smirked Hidan.

Kakuzu just stared at Hidan. "I'm getting you a spelling book."

"Hey! Who said I fucking wrote that?"

"Your face."

3) Kisame is a fao.

"What?" Kisame looked confused.

"You're a fag!" shouted Hidan.

"I'd know that if you knew how to spell!" retorted Kisame.

"Fuck off, Kisame!"

"I'm surprised you know how to spell my name!"

4) Zetsu fucks himself.

"I don't fuck myself." said Zetsu. "But I will fuck whoever wrote that."

5) Pain is a pain in the ass.

"You better be glad Pain isn't here," said Konan.

"I'll don't give a fuck!" said Hidan.

6) Deidara likes to have sex...with his hand because nobody likes his ugly ass!

"Plenty of women would date me!" said Deidara looking angrily.

"Then where are these bitches?" asked Hidan smirking. Just when he opened up his mouth, Hidan spoke up. "Stop fucking lying! You ain't got no women! Fuck outta here!"

"I don't see you with any women, Hidan!" Deidara glared at the older man.

"I don't have any, but at least I'll admit it until your punk ass! No shame though, dumbass. None of us have a girlfriend...we just get laid unlike you! I bet even Jaws over there fucks more women than you!"

"And I bet everyone showers more than you!"

"With soap." added Sasori.

"I know you ain't talking!" said Deidara turning to Sasori. "When's the last time you used soap and water?"

"Last week." said Sasori in a matter of fact voice.

"LAST WEEK?!" said Kisame. "You're almost as bad as Hidan!"

"I'm mostly a puppet. I don't need to take showers everyday."

"You're fucking dirty!"

"Again, you don't wash your hands or bathe!" said Kakuzu. "How do you not smell?!"

"Pine sol." said Sasori.

"Air freshener." said Hidan. "A lot of it."

"You musty bastard." said Kakuzu.

7) I'm tired of the shit stains! Every time I do the laundry, I just about find shit stains on Deidara's underwear! This bastard needs to spend more time cleaning his ass!

"Ooh really?" Sasori gave Deidara a shit eating grin. "Mr. Perfect leaves shit stains in his underwear?"

"I don't!"

"Yeah right. The blush on your face says otherwise."

"I've seen them," said Itachi. "That's why I always use sticks with his stuff. If he can't wipe his bottom, no telling if he has crap on his clothes too."

"What do you do with the stick?" smirked Sasori as Deidara looked furious.

"Burn them."

"I got shit on my fingers once." said Kisame. "I thought it was chocolate...good thing I didn't eat it. But I wiped it on my cloak. Deidara, you're fucking nasty."

"Nasty bastard." said Kakuzu shaking his head.

8) I saw Kisame fucking that Hinata chick. Deem titties though.

"Who?" asked Deidara. "Who the fuck is Hinata?"

"How should I know?" said Kisame.

"She's part of the Hyuuga clan." explained Itachi. "They have the byakugan."

"You fucked one of those weirdos?" said Deidara. "They all look blind and I'm pretty sure they all have the same eyes because they fucked each other!"

"I've seen her before," said Tobi. "She's hideous."

"Clearly you don't have any taste in women." said Kisame before realizing what he just said.

"SO YOU DID FUCK HER!" said Hidan. "I TOLD YOU KISAME GETS LAID MORE THAN YOUR UGLY ASS!"

9) Itachi breath stinks. What's he been eating? ASS?

"My breath smells fine. Maybe it's just your breath you're smelling, Deidara." said Itachi. Deidara just clinched his fist and gave him the finger.

10) Kakuzu paints his fingernails! What a fag!

"We all paint our fingernails," said Kakuzu rolling his eyes. "So whoever it was is calling themselves that."

"I ain't a fag, fag! Unlike you, I make it work!"

"Yeah...LIKE A FAG!" Deidara laughed at him.

"FAG!"

"FAG!

"FAGGOT!"

"Oh watch out! We've got a badass over here!" said Deidara smirking at the priest. "He added G-O-T to the word fag. Well Hidan AT LEAST I'M A FAG THAT CAN SPELL!"

"Keep talking and I'll kick your ass!" said Hidan pulled out his scythe.

"Bring it!" said Deidara reaching for his clay.

"Calm down." said the Uchiha. "Remember what you have in common and do that."

"Do what?" said the albino. "I don't have anything in common with this fucker!"

"Of course you do. You both stink."

Everyone started laughing while Kisame was cracking up the hardest. Hidan and Deidara both went for him but Itachi quickly knocked them both out without even trying. Konan then excuse them and left Deidara and Hidan be while the rest went about their day.


I'm planning on making a Kisame x Hinata story soon. Check it out if you want when it comes out. Or don't. It's up to you.