Thanks all for reading and for the reviews I'm getting. This is my first fanfic in the better part of a decade so please keep the reviews coming. It lets me know if I'm going in the right direction or not.
One thing I want to address is that this is Logan's story and I hope that you like it as much as I'm enjoying writing it for you.
-LLK
...
Logan walked with his son out of the doctor's office. "Well, he told me that things are looking pretty good."
"You're lying." The boy looked at him with those steel eyes and challenged him to deny it.
"I'm not lying," Logan said gently. "Things are the same as last week. Steady. That's good. It means you're not any worse."
"Yeah but dad it's not like things are that good to begin with." He looked at his feet while they walked. "I mean, I still need another transplant."
"Yes, you do," Logan looked at his son. Too much weight on such young shoulders. "But you're home, and that means you're healthy. We want to be out of the hospital as much as possible."
"Healthy enough to stay home isn't the same thing as healthy, Dad."
They were both quiet while they walked the three blocks to Logan's office building. Neither really knew what to say. Each wanted to remain strong for the sake of the other, but this living in fear was starting to weigh heavily on both of them.
Logan watched his son walk beside him and was overcome. It was a total of complete awe. Fear. Determination. Adoration.
A decade ago he was learning to care about someone beyond himself. He had had to learn to love Rory. Learn that there was such a thing in the world that could matter more than himself. He wasn't ashamed of the man he'd been in his younger years. It was a right of passage, to sow wild oats and to rebel. There were things he did he had to admit he didn't want his son to know about. And others he was sure that shamed his father. But, for what it was worth he didn't mind remembering his past, and often enjoyed it.
If you had told a younger version of himself that he was going to grow up to be a father, rather than a business man or felon or failure, well, he wouldn't have believed it. He might be a business man too, but the word father defined him. Of course he had thought of children. He would have a wife and the average two kids, a boy and a girl. Their mother and the staff would raise them and he would play catch with them on his days off, if he felt like it. The way he was raised.
But then he would have missed out on this, this feeling that always overcame him. This was his best friend, his child, and his purpose in life.
And there was a very real chance that it could be taken from him.
It had been an adjustment, to say the least. Learning to be a father instead of a bachelor. There was so much he had never even thought of, that all of a sudden now he was having to decide on his own. He walked into that hospital that night and had to instantly not only become a father, but a parent. The choices he made would be with his child for the rest of his life. In addition, there was the daunting task of trying to give an unhealthy baby the best start. To give his sick child the best chance at a long happy life.
So far, he had to admit, he was failing. He had been in and out of the hospital his entire life. He'd had so many surgeries that Logan would have to stop and think to keep count. Last year the doctors had finally consented and they did a transplant, Logan of course was a happy and willing donor. It just wasn't good enough. His frail little body was rejecting it.
Logan debated on weather or not to tell his son that he had begun trying to track down his biological mother. He didn't want to get his hopes up that she might be a willing donor. Or, even able. Plus there was the added confusion. Would he want to know her? Would she want to know him? What if she came back and then left again? The worst of which, Logan realized, was the possibility that she might feel entitled to some sort of custody. He wouldn't allow that. This was his son. His child. She couldn't come back a decade later and stake claim could she?
He was willing to take that risk though, if she was able to save his life. A child living, but away from him part of the time was obviously better than the alternative. One he didn't want to think about, but realized was going to be a possibility until they found him a new organ.
As they approached the main lobby of their building Logan paused, "I need to talk to you. About a few things actually."
Ace nodded.
"Well, weirdo bizarre or just business as usual first?" Logan asked. "Your choice."
"Let's go with weirdo bizarre," Ace walked over to the secretary's desk and asked her for his school bag, he'd left it with her when they left for his appointment. He walked back over to his father and announced, "this better be good."
"I saw someone today," the blonde didn't know how to start.
"Like a ghost Dad?" Ace teased. "Did you see someone who wasn't really there?"
Logan pushed his son playfully into the elevator. "No, weirdo. I um..." He paused to find the words and then continued. "...Um, well. I went to see your uh.. your mother's mother."
"My mom's mother?" Ace asked. "But why?"
"Well," Logan continued. "I was trying to track your mother down. The doctors, they keep saying that they think the transplant is being rejected. And well, an immediate family member would be the best to try again."
"What makes you think she'd even want to help me?" Ace asked. This was kind of a bit too heavy for him, Logan could see the weight of it all over him.
"I don't know bud," Logan tried to explain. "I just have to try. No matter how uncomfortable or how much of a long shot. It's my job to give you your best chance."
"I have a question," Ace said. Logan nodded for him to continue. "Well, you met my biological grandmother right?"
"Yeah," Logan said.
"Well, do you think we could just test her." Ace was matter of fact. "She's there right, I mean, we can find her. Maybe she would do it."
"Maybe," Logan agreed. "It can't hurt to ask. But you know that my parents and Honor, none of them could."
"Yeah..." Ace grabbed his things and started off the elevator. "So, what's the other thing you wanted to talk about?"
"You want to go to China with me tomorrow?" Logan asked. He had originally planned to just let him go stay with Honor for a few days until he got back. But one of the luxuries of being a home schooling parent was that school could be anywhere, and that meant Logan could take his son along on business trips. "I'll be in meetings all day most of the time but there's still time to make fools of our selves in the afternoon!"
"Beats staying at Aunt Honors," Ace said. "The twins are beyond annoying."
Logan laughed. He clapped his son on the should and said, "Hey, don't let any of this stuff bother you. The doctor stuff. Or the other side of your family stuff. It'll all work out in the end, okay?"
"Yeah, okay."
