"Alright. I'm not going to beat around the bush: What exactly happened to you two the night Sasuke left?"

I grit my teeth and snarled.

"Nothing. Happened." My eyes bore into his. Drop. The. Subject. Now.

"Bullshit Sakura!" Naruto fisted his hair violently. I wish he would hit me sometimes…god knows I deserve it. "You two have a lot of unexplained shit I'm sick and tired of being left out of." He paced back and forth in front of us.

"Naruto that was years ago, it has nothing to do with anything!" I turned to leave but apparently bad luck was targeting me this week.

"Do you not want to admit that you're being just as weak as the day I left?" Sasuke monotoned. I could feel him looking at me, all I was doing was standing around in the grass looking like a pissed off garden gnome.

I hadn't realized I'd said anything until I was already in his face yelling.

"Do you honestly still think I'm twelve?! You have NO idea how badly I want to hurt you Sasuke. After all you fucking did to me, to Naruto, to KONOHA! I should break your face, heal it, and break it again!" I stomped my foot on the ground and sent a spurt of chakra at my foot. The effect was like an earthquake and I could feel the trees uprooting a bit.

Stupid pompous ass wasn't even blinking.

"You are weak if you let emotions get in the way of everything you do."

I couldn't help the little laugh that escaped my throat. "…I? I let my emotions get in my way?" my voice was quiet, "after what you did…running away from konoha, following Orochimaru, all because you said you hated your brother so fucking much you needed to kill him…you have the gall to say that I am the one with weak emotions?!" My feet stomped toward him, his expression looked off with his eyebrows furrowing his hands clenching. Good. I wanted him to hit me.

Naruto stepped in between us, keeping me from advancing any closer. "Sakura stop it! Forget I asked I don't want either of you to get kill-"

"SHUT UP NARUTO!" I grit my teeth and growled. "Hate is an emotion, Sasuke-kun. Revenge is an idea, Sasuke-kun." I spit. "Don't call me weak when I stand here and remain sane while your soul dies because you were the one who was weak enough to be consumed by your emotions."

Sasuke just stared at me, our faces just inches away with Naruto still holding me back.

"Fuck you." I walked away.

----

He tried to kill me. So many times he's tried to kill me. And so many times before that he's tried to save my life. How can I still be so stuck on the Sasuke I used to know?

I decided to take the long way to the Yamanaka flower shop. I needed a quiet walk…time to think.

When he was my friend. My teammate. The boy I had loved…

He's not the same anymore, and I know that, but I can't help but think that he's the same somewhere in his heart.

The chuunin exams…he saved me from the team from the sound. Even then he was power hungry and easily influenced. His power was immense…and even though it scared me to see him like that…I know that the reason he used that power was to save me. After I had cut off my hair and gathered more courage to protect them. He asked me who had done it to me and when I couldn't explain that I had done it to myself somewhat…he just attacked. It may not have been a sign of affection but it definitely was a sense that he cared for me…even just a little bit.

He's gotten so cold now. His heart his mind seem so far gone. From being used and lied to and loosing so many people.

He tried to kill me a few years ago, with a teammate dying on the ground in front of him. He didn't even care that she was suffering. I don't even think that she meant that much to him, just another tool to get where he wanted to go. Karin I think her name was…

I'm an idiot for thinking he wouldn't try to kill me then. I wasn't anything special. Who was I to him except a nuisance?

And since when was there a sake bottle in my hand?

Oh right, there's a liquor store on the way to the flower shop. I wasn't even paying attention when I was buying it. I took a swig anyway. Gross.

Let me drink. Let me just drown in alcohol. Preferably the fruitiest, girliest drink possible. The taste of sake and vodka makes me want to gag.

I pushed open the door to the flower shop…roses and sake. What a combination. Ino rushed to my side, "Sakura what the hell did you do?"

I just stood there. Ino wiped her handkerchief across my eyes; was I crying?

She led me over to the staff lounge and gently sat by my side on her couch. I like this couch, its very comfy.

"Its about Sasuke, isn't it?"

I just nodded. My brain felt like it had gone numb and words were to complex to form at the moment and my tongue wasn't obeying anyway.

Then all I could feel was this ache before the tears came pouring out again.

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A/N sorry for the really really uber painfully long hiatus everyone D: my computer busted and I had to save up to get a new one and then writers block and AAAAAARGH senioritis stress. I hope I can fit the story to the now developing plotline and I will try to get my beta to check some of the newer chapters

I am so so sorry for the wait, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this and new ideas are on the way :D

Reviews make me smile :3 feel free to yell at me for hiatus…ing XD