Dipper woke to an aching headache, his brain seeming to be on fire. There was a steady beeping, with each beep pounding through his head like a sledge hammer. He groaned and opened his eyes, but his vision was all blurry, and the light hurt his eyes, which didn't help his migraines at all. Above his head were white, cardboard tiles, instead of the wooden beams that were always there. Confusion filled him, and he raised his head. As he did, he suddenly felt extremely tired, as if all the energy in him was gone. He looked in front of him, and saw a white and blue wall. He looked to the side and saw...Mabel. She appeared to be asleep, her head resting on her arms, which were placed crossed on his bed. She had fell asleep next to him. But why?

He looked around. There were monitors, medical equipment...

He was in a hospital. This was a hospital room. But, how did he get here? Where did he get hurt. He shifted in his bed, and another splitting headache was introduced to him.

"Uh," he groaned, "yep, that's a bitch. Uh, Why does it feel like my head's been done in with a sledgehammer?" He asked. Mabel sprung up, apparently noticing his voice even in her deep snoring sleep. and Dipper saw that she had been crying. Why was she crying?

"Dipper!" She yelled, causing another splitting headache. He put a finger on her lips.

"Shhh, sh, sh, sh." He whispered. "Inside voice, Mabel...inside voice." She chuckled as she tackled him into a hug, burying her face into his chest.

"Oh, Dipper!" She cried, now sad for some reason. "I-I th-thought you w-were gonn-na..." She started.

"Mabel, sweetie, I can't understand you when you don't speak properly." He said, as if he was talking to a child. Which, now that he thought about it, was actually rude and might have been a little but inappropriate at that moment. "Uh, nurse, could I get some tissues in here, please?" He said loudly. The nurse who happened to pass by the door as he said that. She looked in confused, then walked quickly away after a look of realization crossed her face. Maybe to actually get some tissues. Or maybe she was going to get a doctor...

It was a fifty-fifty chance. Or not, he didn't feel like doing math. That might actually hurt.

Dipper patted the back of Mabel's head, somehow feeling slightly uncomfortable. The nurse came back, but not with any tissues. A man in a white lab coat, the doctor, he thought, walked in. Dipper looked at the nurse.

"You couldn't bring one tissue?" He asked her. She looked at him incredulously. "Do you not see the mess I'm dealing with?" He asked, gesturing to the still crying Mabel. The nurse rolled her eyes and left, leaving the doctor to do his thing. The doctor started to tap on one of the monitors, looking at all the others, looking for...something. Dipper had no clue what he was going on over there. He was no doctor. Which, he would hate to be, now that he thought about it. Though, he didn't know why.

"Hey, um, Doc, not really trying to be...pushy, here, but uh...watcha doin' there?" He asked. The doctor didn't answer for a second, though, still tapping away onto one of the screens. Then he turned and looked at Dipper.

"Honestly, I don't know." The doctor said. Dipper raised an eyebrow, concerned

"Wow...that's comforting to hear from a doctor." He said. The doctor sighed and looked at the screen again. "Um, Doc...what exactly happened to me? What put me in here?" Dipper asked. The doctor looked at him strangely.

"You don't remember?" He asked. Now it was Dipper's turn to look incredulous. "Well...there's...really no easy way to tell you this...but...you've been...in a coma, Mr. Pines." He said. Dipper looked at him strangely.

"For how long?" He asked. A week? A month?

"...Two years." He said. Dipper froze. Two years? he's been asleep for...two years? But...what about...but he...he never... "How did this happen?"

"...I don't really know, Mr. Pines. You're parents brought you into the ER two years ago, and...you've been in ICU ever since then." He said. Dipper looked at the ground, still a little shocked. He had been asleep...for two years. That was never something he saw himself doing in his life. He looked over at his sister, laying on his bed, crying. She had stayed here, all this time? Of course not, there was school, John, and...Michelle. Oh, shit, Michelle.

She was definitely going to kill him. He had ditched her for two years. He couldn't imagine a scenario where she wasn't pissed. He let his head back and groaned. "I understand that this might be a little shocking, Mr. Pines, but I assure you, we will do anything we can to help you through your recovery."

"And right when I finally finished those damned goggles." He said to himself. The doctor looked at him strangely...he noticed people were doing that a lot.

"You're not...sad? Confused? Depressed?" The doctor asked. Dipper thought for a moment, looking through everything since he woke up.

"...Nope. I'm fine." He said. The doctor was silenced, looking at him up and down. Then the doctor looked at Mabel.

"Ms. Pines, would you come with me?" The doctor asked.

"NO!" She yelled, which was thankfully muffled in his chest. Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Mabel, please? The doctor needs to do some doctor things. I'll still be here when you get back, Mabes. He just has to make sure I'm okay." He asked. She shook her head, hugging him tighter. He sighed, and looked at the doctor.

"Welp, I tried. Any ideas?" Dipper asked. The doctor looked at him strangely. He took a breath rubbing his forehead with two fingers.

"Orderly!" The doctor said. One of the orderlies from outside came in and picked up Mabel, carrying her outside, while she proceeded to kick and scream at him. Dipper smiled. Mabel, even after two years, still cared about him. Well, of course she did. They were twins. The doctor picked up a clip-board and looked at it. "I'll be right back. Perhaps you're suffering from some psychological shock."

He walked out, and Dipper lay back down and sighed, suddenly very tired. This was going to be tough. Still, two years? How could this had happened.

"I don't know. It stumps me." Someone said, with the sound of a person biting into an apple following. "Maybe our merging was too much for you to handle. I was almost worried, there." It was a girl. Dipper opened his eyes and looked at her.

She had fiery red hair, skin so pale, it was almost like chalk. Her eyes were bright red, seeming to stare into your soul. She wore a what seemed complete black...medieval armor? No, it seemed foreign, and, not in a racist way, Japanese. She was sitting cross-legged on the chair where Mabel was, eating an apple. The way she sat, and how she never blinked...if she wasn't eating that apple, Dipper could've swore she was a statue. But...she was unbelievably beautiful. No matter how scary she was, it was like she was too beautiful for it to matter. She must be some delusion or something.

"No. I am totally real." She said. Dipper blinked. What-?

"Did she just say?" She asked, finishing his thought, and smirking. "I'm reading your mind, Dipper." She said. Dipper sat up, suddenly very concerned. Was she a witch. Or telekinetic?

"No, I can only read your mind at the moment." She said. She stood up, placing herself next to the hospital bed. "You're...special...Well, sort of...not very much, though. I wonder how I got stuck with this puny human?"

"Uh, I'm sorry, human?" He asked her. She sighed, appearing to be annoyed. "I'm sorry, puny?"

"Uh, I have to explain these things now, don't I?" She whispered, but Dipper could still hear her.

"Yes, that would be preferable." He said. She looked at him, then sighed.

"Okay, pine tree, you win." She said. Dipper's eyes widened as fear erupted in his mind. "Oh, you remember my nephew, Bill, don't you?" She asked. Dipper froze. She knew...about Bill...why did she call him her nephew? Wait...how much else did she know? "Oh, everything about you, Pines. Your old crushes, your favorite desserts, even that stash of porn you have hidden in the beams in your 'lab.'" She said. She leaned in close to him. "Why is it all lesbian?" She asked.

Dipper leaned away from her. Who the hell was she? How did she know all this? She had better not touched his magazines, or else he was gonna be pissed. She rolled her eyes, which meant she had read his mind again. He put a finger up before she could say anything.

"Yes, you read minds! We get it, sweet-heart." He said. The name "sweet heart" seemed to anger her. "How do you know about Bill? Why did you call him your nephew?" He asked. She seemed surprised...at least, Dipper thought it was surprise.

"Because, sweet heart." She said mockingly, making a movement with her head that added to the insult. "Bill was, and I die a little inside every time I say this, my nephew. But it's not like I consider him family anymore, what, after getting erased and all. And by a pair of little twerps and two old coggers. I always wondered why that nasty one got his memory back. But, not even with all the power in the world, he still couldn't defeat the easiest stinking four people in the universe." She said, crossing her arms. "Fucking loser."

"Wait...if Bill was a demon...and your his aunt...that means..." Dipper suddenly felt a new level of fear rise up. About ten levels of them. The girl rolled her eyes.

"I'm a succubus! Jeez, you're not only puny, you're mentally retarded." She said. Then she was suddenly floating, hovering an inch from his face. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you! Talk about unlucky."

"I don't think you're allowed to say retarded." Dipper said.

"So what? I said it, sue me."

There was a demon...an inch from his face. And he wanted to smack himself for, one, not recognizing it sooner, and two, for finding this girl just a little bit attractive. Just a little bit. Even if she was. He gulped, realizing he had no weapons, no protection, and if she heard that last thought, he was more than likely dead. If this demon was as powerful as Bill, he was in serious trouble. She groaned loudly in exasperation.

"Okay, see, let's get some things straight here, Pines. One, my name is Fire, and you can't help but find me hot. I'm a succubus, literal demon of lust. Don't be too ashamed about it honey. Two, I can't hurt you. Not yet anyways, so don't you worry your fleshy little head about that." She said, tapping his head with one finger each when she said "fleshy", "little", and "head," which strangely felt...real. "And three...don't get it confused. I'm not as powerful as Bill..."

"...I'm much stronger." She said, an evil smile crossing her face.

"...Stronger than Bill Great! Why do you always have to get the bad ones, Pines? Why?!" He complained, calling himself out for being an idiot. Fire raised an eyebrow, and Dipper sighed. "I guess a date is out of the question, huh?"

"Oh, it wouldn't usually be, but one, your not cute enough, and two...let's just say you would need a high maturity level, and a lot of endurance." She said. Dipper blushed.

"Okay, well, there goes my chance to have a restful recovery." He said. "I am starting to regret engaging in conversation with you."