Hi everyone! This is the third installment of my epic rewrites. Thank you everyone for all of your reviews and your kind words. They are what drive me to write. I will point out this is a slow story; not a quick, Sam and Kurt are gonna start dating. I won't lie, that's not gonna happen until a few episodes down the road. This is a story that takes time to build and grow.
Again, this story is dedicated to the delicious Sussiekitten and to my fellow Gleek, nikkithedead.
Disclaimer has been disclaimed, and so all parties are happy.
Once again, italics are thoughts, [BRACKETS] are flashbacks, and our friends the / and \\ denote single voices, while || denotes more than one. Also, because I've realized I need to include these now, {squiggly brackets} denote a text message.
On with it!
Sam and Finn were in the locker room. This was not news to anyone, whatsoever. However, while Finn was in a steaming hot bath, Sam was sitting in a vat of ice water.
"Dude. How do you stand that cold tub?" asked Finn, dubious that anyone would want to be in it.
"Oh, trust me. I'm used to cold showers," said Sam.
[FLASHBACK]
Sam was sitting in math, minding his own business, when he noticed Kurt walk in.
Wearing a skirt. And leggings. That revealed just how toned Kurt's thighs were.
I wonder if the rest of Kurt is just as toned thought the horny blonde. He then realized just where he was, and the problem that now resided in his jeans.
[END FLASHBACK]
"Been there, dude. Actually, still there now, but how did I find the only girl in high school that won't put out?" commented Finn.
"What do you do, though?" asked Sam, curious to find something that would help is constant erections go away.
"Well, easy," said Finn, "I just think about the opposite of what I'm doing," and proceeded to fill Sam in on 'the mailman' scenario.
"I've never actually almost killed a civil servant before…" trailed off Sam.
"Well, you have to find something to be your own buzz kill," replied Finn, "You know, something that is totally not hot."
The two were drawn to the sound of Coach Beiste's voice.
"I don't care! If you're on this football team, you'll wear a cup, no exceptions!" she shouted.
"Hey, have you ever noticed that when the Beiste gets all fired up, her underpants go right up her butt?" said Finn.
Sam shivered a little, and not from the cold.
"Looks like I've found my mailman…" he responded.
Kurt and Tina walked in to the school building arm in arm the next morning.
"I take it we have a lot of sweater trains to look forward to this season." she said happily. The two walked in companionable silence until Kurt was violently slammed into a locker by none other than Karofsky.
"You okay?" asked Tina.
"Yeah, fine," said Kurt quietly.
At least Kurt had Glee to look forward to.
As the two walked in to class, Mr. Schue began to speak.
"Alright, guys, let's get down to business! First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman!"
At this, everyone cheered.
"Puck, I hope your time in Juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong," said Mr. Schue confidently.
"Are you kidding me? I ruled that place," said Puck, "All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day."
"Wow, what a catch. Can't believe I ever let you go," snarked Quinn.
"And now, drum roll, Finn," requested the Glee coach, "because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month."
Everyone began to chatter excitedly.
"First, an a capella choir from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers." Said Mr. Schue.
As everyone cheered, Santana chimed in.
"Okay, hold up, like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head," she commented.
Kurt glared at her.
"And the other team to beat…the Hipsters, a first year club from the Warren Township Continuing Education Program," said the choir teacher, "now they are a Glee club composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GED's."
"Is that legal?" asked Rachel.
"How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?" questioned Mercedes.
"Are you kidding?" asked Puck, "give one of those ladies a good-luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis." Everyone laughed.
"Moving on," said Mr. Schue, "since it seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I want to make this week our second, annual Boys vs. Girls tournament.
The choir room burst into cheers, hoots, hollers and whistles.
"So, split up into two groups, and figure out what songs you're gonna sing!" said Will.
The room began to segregate by gender, with one exception.
"Kurt, I'm gonna say it again. Boys team," commented their director. Kurt shot him a scathing look full of venom. Sam felt bad, on the one hand; he wanted Kurt to be happy. On the other, he was glad, because—as selfish as it was, this way he got to work with Kurt.
"I know it's not my place to ask, but can you push me down the back staircase instead? My injuries should be the same, but it's more lightly populated, so the humiliation won't be as bad," said Artie, knowing all too well who was pushing his wheelchair.
"Relax; I'm here to take care of you. You're my boy now!" said Puck enthusiastically.
"I don't understand," replied Artie.
"I got out of Juvie early because I agreed to do community service, but I ain't pickin' up trash along the freeway. That's ghetto! So I told my probie officer that I knew a cripple who needed some help. She went for it," finished Puck.
"…I'm your community service?" asked Artie?
"There's no way I'm going back to Juvie. There's no chicks, and no kosher meal options up in that place," said Puck.
"Oh, cool, so we're like, friends!" responded Artie.
"Whoa, slow down, Professor X. I never said anything about liking you. Now shut up right quick. We're gonna steal some food from the cafeteria. This chair's a great place for hiding stuff…" said Puck as he turned down the hall, just a moment too soon to see Kurt get slammed into the lockers by Karofsky once again.
"What is your problem?" screamed Kurt.
"You talking back to me?" asked Karofsky, his voice cocky. "You want a piece of the Fury?"
"The Fury?" questioned Kurt skeptically.
"That's what I named my fist," threatened the jock.
"Well, with that level of creativity you could easily become assistant manager at a rendering plant," said the diva.
"I don't know what that is, but if I find out it's bad, the Fury's gonna find you," responded Karofsky, and for the third time, slammed Kurt into a locker.
Thankfully, Mr. Schue Kurt immediately after and brought him back to his office.
"Is there anything I can do?" asked Will sympathetically. He gave Kurt a paper cup filled with water.
Kurt sighed, and responded.
"…No. This is my hill to climb alone."
"Can I be honest?" said Mr. Schue, not needing and answer, "I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back. But lately, you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away…"
"Can I be honest with you?" asked Kurt. Will nodded.
"You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys vs. Girls? That doesn't challenge any of us," snarked Kurt. He was hurt, and rightfully so.
"You mean, because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted?" asked Mr. Schuester, critical of his student.
"To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here," commented the soprano, leaving with the last word.
"Look, I'm not tossing the baby out with the bathwater here," said Mr. Schue to his Glee club.
"I've totally done that," responded Brittney.
"We're just making an adjustment. Boys, you are now doing songs by girl groups. And girls, try some classic rock—uh, The Who, The Stones. The more opposite your choice, the more points you get," finished Mr. Schue.
"Don't worry gentleman; I have this one under control!" said Kurt.
"Now, obviously, for this medley to work, I'm going to have to sing lead, and of course, when you're singing Diana Ross, Bob Mackie-esque marabou feather boas are a must," said the soprano confidently.
Sam was imagining Kurt in nothing but a feather boa, and crossed his legs.
"Isn't this lesson about opposites?" asked Artie. "I mean, you in a sequined gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect."
"Okay, who said anything about a gown?" commented Kurt, getting defensive over his plan.
"Dude, why don't you make yourself useful and go put some rat poison in the old folks' Jell-O, or visit the Garglers?" suggested Puck.
"The Warblers," corrected the soprano.
"Whatever. See what they're up to. And you can wear all the feathers you want. You'll blend right in!" said Puck sarcastically while throwing the football to Finn.
Kurt stood there with his mouth open for a second, before closing it abruptly. He sighed.
"Fine," he said. He grabbed his presentation and left the room.
Sam, Mike, Artie, Finn, and Puck all looked at each other skeptically. Was that really the Kurt they all knew?
Later on that evening, Finn was at Rachel's, making out (as they were wont to do). Rachel was being very sensuous and sitting on Finn's lap, whispering naughty things into his ears. She laid down, and he followed her, realizing things were starting to get hot. He began to visualize the mailman, but instead of his usual mailman incident, a vision of Coach Beiste appeared. She was chopping up ribs with a meat cleaver angrily.
"Say my name, Finn," requested Rachel. "I said, say my name."
This dragged Finn back into the real world for a few moments. His feet began to shake. He knew he was getting close. He closed his eyes and thought of the mailman, but again, all he could think of was Coach Beiste. This time, she wore a Cheerio's outfit, and had pom-poms.
"I said, say my name," the Beiste-inside-his-head told him.
"Beiste…" whispered Finn.
Rachel backed off. Had Finn just said…no…he couldn't…
"Are you okay?" she asked sharply.
"Yeah, baby," Finn replied, getting control of himself and not realizing his slip-up, "I could do this for hours…"
After Finn left for the evening, Rachel immediately called Quinn. Although the two weren't exactly the closest of friends, this was something she needed help with.
"Hey, Quinn, it's Rachel!" she said as the blonde girl picked up.
"Rachel, it is ten o'clock on a school night. What do you need?"
"Well, I have something to ask you…"
"I know what I heard," said Rachel. Quinn had convinced Rachel to go see Coach Sylvester with her. "We were making out, and then…then…" she became teary, "He said it. He said 'Beiste'!" she sobbed out. "He must have been picturing her!" Rachel managed to say through her sobbing.
"That is the most horrific image I can imagine," said the Cheerio's coach.
"Coach, what do we do? Rachel is innocent, but she's dating a guy…"
"…who would rather be dry-humping She-Hulk. Oh, dear God, why did I say that? Now that's what I'm picturing. Do you know what kind of disgusting images I'm going to have to look at to get this out of my head? I'm gonna have to go straight to the wound care center. I gonna have to stare at some wounds," responded Coach Sylvester, the look upon her face one of sheer disgust.
"Wait…this may be the opportunity I've been waiting for!" continued Sue, "A way to get Beiste out of this school, and to get your football playing Elton John back in your arms!" she said to Rachel.
"What do I need to do?" asked Rachel, desperate to save her relationship with Finn.
"We need to go public with your pain," said Sue, "get people talking about this. Make Beiste into the next Mary Kay Letourneau. And you need to give him a piece of your mind—loud, and in public. Show him who's the boss," finished Coach Sylvester. She had a horrifying expression come over her face.
"Oh, man, now I'm picturing the two of them making out during an episode of Who's the Boss!" she complained. Rachel looked disgusted, but couldn't help but smile. She got to keep Finn!
Meanwhile, Puck and Artie set up out in the courtyard that was really more of a cement jungle.
"Shouldn't you be studying Geometry? Aren't you failing?" asked Artie skeptically.
"One thing I learned in Juvie? Cash is king," said Puck, throwing some money into his guitar case, "lets peole know we're not doing it for free."
"Wait, you think people are going to pay us to sing? I don't think busking is allowed in school…" questioned Artie.
"Watch and learn, young Jedi in a wheelchair," responded Noah.
Puck began to strum on his guitar. Artie felt invigorated.
"This is so…badass! I've never broken rules like this," said the geek. Puck started to sing.
/One love, one heart,
Let's get together and feel alright/
Artie started in,
\Hear the children crying\
/One love,/
\Hear the children crying\
/One heart;/
The two joined voices.
|Sayin' give thanks and praise
To the Lord and I will feel alright
Sayin' let's get together and
Feel alright!|
\Let them pass all their dirty remarks,
There is one question I'd really love to ask.\
/One heart! Is there a place
For the hopeless sinner
Who has hurt all mankind
Just to save his own./
\Believe me! One love!\
/What about the one heart?/
\One heart!\
/What about love?/
|Let's get together and feel all right!|
\As it was in the beginning,\
/One love!/
\So shall it be in the end,\
/One heart!/
|Give thanks and praise to the Lord,
And I will feel alright
Let's get together and feel alright!|
The student body outside began to applaud.
"Holy crap, there's like, 300 bucks in here!" said Artie quietly.
"Yeah, you really can't put a dollar amount on the value of talent plus fear," said Puck.
"I can. It's about…300 bucks," laughed Artie, "What are we going to do with it?" he asked.
"Buy a butt load of clove cigarettes, then…I don't know," said Puck.
As Puck was talking, Artie saw Brittney and Santana walking down the steps.
"You want her?" Puck asked in reference to Britt. "You don't need any cash for that; she's free!" he joked.
"She was my first," said Artie," and now I think I want her back…"
"So go get her!" responded Puck.
"It's not that simple. I was kind of mean to her when I blew her off," Artie continued sadly.
"This is perfect. The thing about chicks is you only have to be a fraction as nice to them as you are mean to them to get them to like you again," explained Noah.
"So…what do we do?" asked Artie.
"Here's a little community service comin' at ya," said Puck, "you and I are gonna take this dough and go on a double date with Santana and Brittany to the Styx! Yeah," he commented as the two gave each other knucks, "best community servicer ever, right?"
That same day, Kurt decided to skip school and go out to Dalton. He made the trip to Westerville in about 40 minutes, listening to music the whole way. He sang along for most of it. When he finally got there, he was astonished. It was a beautiful old building, and the architecture made his heart pound. He began down the spiral staircase, where he spotted a boy at the bottom.
"Um, excuse me?" he said hesitantly, "Can I ask you a question? I'm new here."
"My name's Blaine," said the other boy, introducing himself.
"Kurt," responded the diva, "so, what exactly is going on?" he asked, confused as to all the commotion.
"The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It tends to shut the school down for awhile," exclaimed Blaine.
"So, wait, the Glee club here is kind of cool?" asked a very confused Kurt.
"The Warblers are like rock stars," at this, Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Come on, I know a shortcut!" said Blaine, and grabbed his hand.
Kurt, having never held another boy's hand before, felt more free than he ever had in his entire life. The two arrived in the senior commons, only to see a massive crowd of boys.
"Oh, I stick out like a sore thumb," said Kurt sadly.
"Well next time don't forget your jacket, new kid!" said Blaine, casually playing with Kurt's lapels. "You'll fit right in. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
And it wasn't too long before Kurt was serenaded by the Warblers rendition of Katy Perry.
"Wait. That's hilarious. Picturing Beiste helps cool you off?" asked an incredulous Tina. The two were standing at Mike Chang's locker.
"That's what Finn said!" responded Mike.
"Really? Well, then let's get a room," said Tina sensuously. She grabbed him by the hand and off they went.
"I love making out under the stars," she said, her voice sultry as she dragged Mike into the astronomy classroom.
"With those abs, you could be my very own situation," she commented. Tina pulled Mike onto the table with her.
"Slow down…" said the dancer, "we can't get caught in here; we should probably cool off," said Mike.
"But I'm so turned on right now!" moaned Tina. She couldn't…could she?
All of the sudden, her vision was filled with the Beiste, doing ballet in the hall and smoking. "This'll cool you down a little bit," said the vision in her head.
"Beiste…" whispered Tina aloud.
"What did you say?" asked Mike sharply.
"Nothing…" said Tina, shaken to the core, "I gotta go. I'll see you in Glee club!" she shouted as she walked out the door.
"Beiste?" muttered Mike all to himself.
"Just be honest with me—I won't get mad at you if you tell me the truth. I'll be relieved," said Rachel, pleading with Finn.
"Really? Because it looks like you're gonna be mad no matter what I say," replied Finn.
"You said another woman's name while you were kissing me! Look, I get it. She's in a position of power over you, which can be exciting, and you clearly like women who give you a hard time," continued Rachel scathingly.
"I'm not cheating on you with my football coach!" responded Finn. "Look, can we talk about this in private?"
"Why, am I embarrassing you?" asked Rachel.
"It's not what you think," said Finn
"What I think is that since I've decided to wait, and not indulge in our fantasies, so you've decided to go elsewhere, including the locker room with the Beiste," finished an angry Rachel.
"What's this?" asked the Coach, who happened to walk by at that moment.
"This is a lover's quarrel, and is your fault!" exclaimed Rachel.
"Watch your tone, Missy! You crap on my leg, I'll cut it off!" threatened Coach Beiste.
"I'll leave you two," said Rachel, and turned up her nose. As she walked away, Mr. Schuester walked up.
"Everything okay?" he asked. Coach Beiste looked bewildered. Just then, Mike Chang rounded the corner.
"Stay away from my woman!" he sneered at the Beiste.
"What the hell is going on around here?" she asked, completely confused. She walked away, shaking her head.
"What's going on, Finn?" asked Mr. Schue.
Finn wasn't sure what to say.
"How many of the guys have done this?" asked a very pissed off Will Schuester.
"All the guys whose girlfriends won't put out," responded Finn awkwardly.
"It's the girls too," added Mike.
"This is really bad, guys. What if Coach Beiste were to find out about it? Think about how hurt she'd be!" said the choir director.
"But it's not personal…" mumbled Finn.
"Of course it's personal! Look, Coach Beiste is like us, Like Glee club; she's an outsider at this school. No one appreciated her or her talent because they've decided that she's too different. And for you guys to abuse that, even in private, is the opposite of EVERYTHING we're trying to achieve in here."
"But we're just thinking about it! It's not like we're actually, you know, making fun of her to her face," backpedalled Finn, trying to justify what they'd done.
"I need you to stop. And spread the word to all the other Glee guys. And girls. This ends here and now. And Coach Beiste can never know about this," finished Mr. Schue. He was livid.
"Okay," responded Finn.
"Sorry," added Mike.
"Latte?" asked Blaine. Back in Westerville, classes were out for a little while. Kurt sat down to have coffee with Blaine and two of his friends. "This is Wes and David," said Blaine, introducing them.
"It's very civilized of you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying," said Kurt quietly.
"We are not going to beat you up," said Wes.
"You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of…endearing," added David.
"Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came," finished Blaine, waiting for a response from Kurt.
"Can I ask you guys a question?" said Kurt after a moment. The three nodded. "Are you guys all gay?"
This provoked some laughter from the group.
"Well, uh, no. I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends," said Blaine with a big smile.
"This is not a gay school," added David, "We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy."
"Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It's pretty simple," said Wes.
Kurt sat. The memories of the past two years flooded over him; slushy after slushy, dumpster after dumpster; all of it came to the surface. His hurt, his torment, his anger…all of it felt like a giant lump in his throat. Blaine noticed.
"Could you guys excuse us?" asked Blaine.
"Yeah. Take it easy, Kurt," said Wes, before he and David stood and walked away.
"I take it you're having trouble at school…" led Blaine.
"I'm the only person out of the closet at my school," said Kurt quietly. All the emotion was coming up through his throat, and escaping into the air. "And I-I…I tried to stay strong about it, but…there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell. And nobody seems to notice…"
"I know how you feel," Blaine started, "I got taunted at my old school, and it really…pissed me off. I even complained about it to the faculty. They were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell that nobody really cared. It was like, 'Hey, if you're gay, your life's just going to be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it.'" Blaine paused for a few seconds. "So I left, and I came here."
There was silence for a moment.
"So you have two options. I mean, I'd love and tell you just come enroll here, but tuition at Dalton's sort of steep, and I know that's not an option for everybody. Or…you can refuse to be the victim," said Blaine.
Kurt's eyes opened wide.
"Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt. And you have a chance, right now, to teach him," said Blaine firmly.
"How?" asked Kurt, shoulders shaking from the sobs that wracked his body.
"Confront him! Call him out," said Blaine. "I ran, Kurt…I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret," finished the boy from Dalton.
"The boys beat us the last time we competed against them. We've gotta bring the noise hard this time," said Mercedes.
"To be fair, they didn't officially beat us. We got busted for vitamin D possession before the vote."
"Wait. Something's definitely wrong. Why isn't Rachel talking?" asked Santana.
"Yeah, she should totally be bossing us around right now," said Brittney.
"The idea of the assignment was to do the opposite of what we normally do. I'm just trying to stick to the lesson plan, which is proving nearly impossible since you're gluing those sequins on backwards," huffed Rachel. She sat for a moment before shouting, "Spies!"
"Lighten up," said Puck, "We're here to talk to Santana and Brittney. Remember," he whispered this last bit to Artie, "don't trust your instincts."
"Hm…so, how does it feel to be a free man?" asked Santana.
"All I can say is that I don't want a long-term relationship with either of you. Especially Brittney, since I'm not in love with her," Artie said extremely quickly.
"Do you guys want to go out to dinner tonight?" asked Brittney.
"Not really," said Puck.
"Oh…" said Santana sadly.
"Tell you what, you two show up at Breadstix tomorrow night around 7:00. If we don't find hotter chicks to date tonight, we might show up," said Noah, full of arrogance.
"You are totally cool," said Santana.
"Awesome," chimed in Brittney.
"I can't believe it. You're a genius!" said Artie as Puck wheeled him away.
Will was pouring coffee for himself in the teacher's lounge, when Shannon Beiste walked through the door.
"Hey, Will. Can I talk to your for a second?" she asked quietly. He nodded.
"What's going on with your Glee club kids? They've been mouthing off to me. One of them even said to 'stay away from their girl'. I don't get it. You know, I'm the Coach here, Will, and if the students here don't respect me…" she sighed, "I can't do my job!"
Mr. Schue froze, before giving her a glib response.
"Well, Coach…I don't know what to tell y-" Coach Beiste cut him off.
"Will, please, be straight with me. You're the only person at this school I trust," she said. Mr. Schue looked up at her, realizing what he had to do. "Please," she reiterated.
"Why don't you have a seat?" he asked sadly.
"Uh…this-this is really awful. I don't want you to take it personally. They're just kids…you know how they can be!" said Will, trying to justify their actions.
"Just –just tell me," said Coach Beiste.
"I guess…it's become sort of, of, a thing, that when the kids are makin' out, and they, they sort of want to cool off a little? They think of you. In compromising positions," said Will heavily. He was not a happy camper. Shannon sighed.
"Like what?" she asked.
"Like…in lingerie," suggested Mr. Schuester. Coach Beiste stood up abruptly. "Coach, don't take it personally…"
"I do take it personally, Will. I take it very, very personally," she said, beginning to tear up as she left the room.
Mr. Schuester tried to get her to come back, but she wouldn't. He yelled, and slammed his hands on the desk.
"So there I was. At Juvie. In the breakfast line, in the mess hall. When I noticed me and the guy behind me going for the same waffle. This guy's, like, 6'11", 300, easy. He's got his teeth filed into canines, tats everywhere!" narrated Puck. He was at Breadstix with Santana and Brittney, telling a Juvie story. "So I turn around. I flex my left pec, then I flex my right pec, and I say to the guy, 'Leggo my Eggo,'" for this, Puck growled and bulked himself up. "And you know what he does? He lets go of my Eggo!" said a very cocky Noah.
"You should be our nation's president," chimed Santana.
"I've been squeezing your left for the past hour and a half," whispered Brittney to Artie, "Are you not attracted to me?" she asked quietly.
Artie didn't have the heart to tell her he couldn't feel his legs, so he simply settled for the next, most badass thing he could think of.
"Sorry. I was really distracted by our waitress," he began. He say Puck nodding in approval. "She's totally into me."
"I can take that when you're ready," said the waitress. As she began to walk away, Puck began to speak.
"Alright guys, let's move. This meal has been comp'd!" he said.
"What?" asked Artie, confused.
"Dude, I don't pay for food!" said Puck, as if there was nothing wrong with that statement. "It's my thing, yo. So we're going to dine and dash."
Artie couldn't do it. As Puck and the group got up to go, he whipped out his wallet, and put some cash in, more than enough to cover the bill. As he was about to wheel away, she stopped him.
"Do you need any change?" she asked, oblivious to his desire for a quick getaway.
"No, keep it," he said. He turned around, only to face an irritated Puck.
"Dude, what the hell?"
"Sorry, I couldn't do it," said Artie, "she gave us free refills! And I figure she's got kids. I'm not gonna do that to her."
"Whatever, dude, you wussed out!" said Puck, "So have fun taking the short bus home, 'cause I'll be escorting these ladies back to Chez Puckerman for a little sookie-sookie."
"Wait, seriously?" Artie asked.
"Damn straight! I'm giving you all my trade secrets here. If you don't want my help, then fine. You're on your own," said Puck with finality. He walked out the door, leaving a lonely Artie inside Breadstix.
The next day, all the boys were in Glee. The girls decided to play their song today. As soon as the music began, all the boys knew exactly what they were singing. Sam was sitting next to Kurt, happy just to be close to the soprano.
|Start me up!|
All the girls began singing together. They split into various harmonies.
|Start me up!|
Rachel came spinning into the room, the lead singer that she was. This confused the boys. They must be doing a mash-up thought Sam.
/Oh, Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck
It's tough…so tough…/
The girls backed Rachel up.
|Oh, we got to hold on
To what we got.
You live for the fight
when that's all that you've got!|
|Start me Up!
We're halfway there
Whoa, livin' on a prayer|
Mercedes took over lead.
\If you start me up
Kick on the starter
Give it all you got
You gotta, you gotta!
I can't compete,
With the riders in the other heat\
At this, the other girls joined in. Kurt's phone buzzed. It was a text message from Blaine, that simply read, {Courage}
|I'll make a grown man cry;
I'll make a grown man give it a shot,
Start me up! We're halfway there,
Whoa! Living on a prayer!|
Rachel sang alone for a moment.
/Living on a prayer!/
The girls did some fancy choreography, before kneeling by the band.
|Oh, we gotta hold on, ready or not.
You live for the fight when that's all that you've got!
Oh, we're halfway there,
Whoa, living on a prayer!|
Mercedes chimed in with her gospel take on the notes as well.
|Take my hand, and we'll make it, I swear
Whoa! Living on a prayer
You gotta start me up!|
The song finished on a major chord.
"Ladies, very, very impressive! What is it that made you guys choose those songs?" asked Mr. Schuester.
Becky arrived with a note.
"Coach said to give you this!" she told him, and ran off.
As he opened the note, his heart became filled with dread. It said simply, "Auditorium Now".
Will walked into the auditorium, and saw Sue standing on stage.
"Take a good look, William, because Sue Sylvester's got two things to show you. To my left," she pointed, "I have one confetti cannon. To my right," she pointed again, "You'll find another confetti cannon. You know what this means?" she asked deviously.
Will was concerned.
"No, Sue," he responded.
"We. Got Beiste. Fired!" said Sue happily, "and my full budget is restored."
The cannons fired two bursts of shimmering purple. All the while, Sue laughed maniacally in the background.
"Wait, what?" he said, totally shocked.
"Well, actually she quit, but I'll take the W. And it was your kids that made it happen, Will. It finally occurred to them to stop singing all that nonsense about how awesome it is to be alive, or ugly, or whatever the point is you guys are always trying to make. And instead? They just got mean," she said darkly.
Will looked at her.
"Congratulations, Will," she said.
"Wait, Coach Beiste quit?" he asked for clarification.
"I believe I just said that Annie Sullivan. You want me to sign it into your palm? And now, if you excuse me," she turned to walk out, but stopped and gestured to the confetti, "and, if you wouldn't mind just cleaning all this up, that'd be great." She walked out, leaving Will alone.
Kurt walked down the hall, staring at his phone. He was texting Sam and Mercedes. Mercedes, to tell her she was fantastic and that they needed to have movie night. Sam, on the other hand…
He'd been texting Sam ever since the blonde came to run lines at his house. It was usually innocuous things, like questions or statements about school or work, but every now and then, Sam would slip in a compliment that made Kurt wonder if the boy was actually straight. Such was the case now; Kurt was reading a text that said, {Hey, I can't wait to sing with you later in the week =P}
As Kurt was pondering this, Karofsky walked up, knocked the phone out of his hand, and threw him into a locker.
Kurt stood for a moment, but realized what he needed to do. He got his phone and ran down the hall, yelling. He arrived in the boy's locker room
"Hey! I am talking to you!" he shouted at Karofsky.
"Girls' locker room is next door," responded the arrogant jock.
"What is your problem?" asked Kurt.
"Excuse me?" replied Karofsky.
"What are you so scared of?" asked the diva.
"Besides you sneakin' in here to take a peek at my junk?" challenged Dave.
"Oh, yeah, every straight guy's nightmare, that all of us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. Well guess what, ham hock? You're not my type!" shouted Kurt. He knew he was hurting his voice, but he needed to get this out.
"That right?" asked Karofsky.
"Yeah, I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and will be bald by the time they're 30," said the soprano.
"Do not push me, Hummel!" shouted Karofsky, raising his fist.
"You gonna hit me? Do it," said Kurt, no longer afraid.
"Don't push me," he shouted again, slamming his locker.
"Hit me, 'cause it's not going to change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!" said Kurt, standing resolute.
"I said get out of my face!" screamed the angry jock.
"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!" said Kurt. He tried to say more, but he realized there were hands around his neck and lips upon his. Kurt simply stood, horrified. His first kiss, his first kiss EVER, was with Karofsky? His heart fell through his ribcage. This was supposed to be his fairytale?
Karofsky leaned in again, but Kurt had the sense to push him away this time. He had one hand over his mouth. David let out a scream, and slammed his fist into the locker next to him, before running out of the locker room. Kurt could do nothing but sit there and freak out quietly.
The day continued as normal until Glee, where a furious Mr. Schuester stood there in front of them all.
"Well, I genuinely hope you guys are happy, because Coach Beiste has quit," he said angrily.
"Wait, what? That's terrible!" said Sam.
"Yeah, that's not what we want," said Finn.
"That's the opposite of what we want. The football team was actually winning," added Artie.
"Well then, you'd better put your heads together and find a way to get her back, fast, because I am actually ashamed of you. You really hurt someone who was a great addition to this school."
Quinn, Kurt and Mercedes were all confused.
"I'm sorry, what exactly did we do?" asked Quinn.
"No, no, it's us. The boys," said Finn.
"And Tina," added Mike.
Everyone, including Mr. Schue, gave Tina very strange looks for a few seconds.
"We sort of figured out that picturing Beiste while making out was even better than a cold shower. I mean, I don't, ever," backpedalled Finn.
The room was in shock.
"Can I just say this is what happens when people don't put out? If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team," commented Santana.
"William!" shouted Principal Figgins as he walked into the room. "I need to see you, and Noah Puckerman in my office, please."
"This is garbage! I've been doing my community service!" said Puck angrily.
"When you wrote 'hangin with a crip' on your probation application, we thought you were going to do outreach with a local gang," said the probation officer.
"But I've totally been helping Artie. I got him a date, I made him some sweet cash. Please, Mr. Schue, you've gotta help me out here!" Noah pleaded.
"Ms. Martin, there's gotta be some way Puck can make up for this…" suggested Mr. Schuester. "He's been a model student since he got back."
"Three whole days worth! Impressive!" said the Probation officer sarcastically.
"Look, there are rules. If Mr. Puckerman doesn't find a suitable alternative for his community service, by tomorrow, his probation will be revoked, and he'll have to go back to the Mondale School for the Boys," said Ms. Martin with finality.
"Oh, screw that, I am not going back there!" shouted Puck.
"Mr. Puckerman, calm down!" said Principal Figgins.
"No, you calm down!" responded Puck, "All of you, calm down! I told you, I'm not going back there." He said loudly. He looked over to see Ms. Martin writing in her book.
"What are you writing? Give me that!" he shouted, and ripped it out of her hands.
"Puck, this isn't helping!" said Mr. Schue.
"Helping? Since when does any one of you care about helping me? None of you care about me!" he said, freaking out more by the moment. He knocked everything of Principal Figgins desk, and ran out of the room.
Artie saw Puck running, and an idea popped into his head.
"Thanks for coming," said Kurt quietly.
"Don't worry about it. Just let me do the talking," said Blaine.
After the previous days outburst, Kurt realized he'd needed help. He texted Blaine.
[FLASHBACK]
{Kurt}{So that bully freaked out, slammed me into a locker. We talked, and he kissed me} Kurt texted. He couldn't stand not using full words in text messages.
{Blaine}{I'll be there 2mrrw. Just tell me when and where.} Kurt sighed. Blaine certainly enjoyed the language of txt. Kurt looked through his text messages, and realized he should probably text Sam.
{Kurt}{Hey, what's up?} God, he was pathetic. A few minutes later…
{Sam}{Hey , ntm. Just showerd. Squeeky clean!} Kurt might get a nosebleed. He imagined Sam in nothing but a towel.
{Kurt}{Not a ton. Just do me a favor?}
{Sam}{ne thing} It took Kurt a second to figure it out, but when he did, he smiled. He was pretty sure he had fallen head over heels for the blonde.
{Kurt}{Keep an eye on Karofsky for me?}
{Sam}{Ok. ne reason why? Has he been hurting you? If you want I'll kick his ass} Kurt knew he couldn't tell Sam just yet.
{Kurt}{Not really. I just need to stay away from him}
{Sam}{Sure thing. I'll protect you =P} At this, Kurt's heart fluttered. He put down the phone on his nightstand, and didn't look at it again.
[END FLASHBACK]
"There he is," said Kurt, seeing Karofsky.
"I got your back," said Blaine. "Excuse me?"
Karofsky looked up.
"Hey lady-boys," said Karofsky. "This your boyfriend, Kurt?" jeered the jock.
"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something," said Blaine calmly.
Not falling for it pissed the jock off. He pushed his way past. "I've gotta go to class," said Dave.
"Kurt told me what you did," said Blaine.
Karofsky turned around. "Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked.
"You kissed me," said Kurt, putting a vile spin on the word kiss.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Karofsky quickly.
"It seems like you might be a little confused, and…that's totally normal. This is a very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should just know that you're not alone," said Blaine.
Karofsky, who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs, ran back up and slammed Blaine into the wall. Blain looked him very calmly in the eye, and did nothing.
"You have to stop this!" yelled Kurt. There was a pause, where Karofsky looked them both in the eyes with an expression of longing; of hurt; of pain; of suffering.
Then he ran down the stairs as fast as possible.
"Well he's not coming out anytime soon!" said Blaine optimistically.
Kurt sat down on the stairs.
"What's going on? Why are you so upset?" questioned Blaine. Kurt sighed.
"Because up until yesterday, I had never been kissed. Or at least, one that counted," said Kurt, tears streaming down his face.
"Come on. I'll buy you lunch," said Blaine. He wasn't sure how to react to a crying Kurt.
Mr. Schuester walked into the locker room. He remembered his days as a student here. He also remembered how cruel his students were. Approaching the only other person in the room, he spoke.
"Didn't make you for a quitter," he said. His strategy was…did he even have a strategy?
"Don't, Will," she said quietly. "You have no idea what it's like."
"For what it's worth…the kids feel awful. They like you. They respect you," said Mr. Schue.
"Isn't that just what every girl wants to hear from a guy? Nah. Screw this," she replied harshly. "I'll find my bliss somewhere else. I need a life change." She laughed, the sound hoarse. "You know, maybe I'll get a job as a cooler at a honky-tonk bar. I don't know. Maybe an ice road trucker." Will was shocked by her self-hatred and vehemence. He knew he needed to fix this.
"Stop," he said, "Will you just stop? I get it. All of us are scarred by high school. You know, next to our parents, nothing screws a person up more. And-and people like us, we're stupid enough to come back here, and relive that pain every day. Right?" he finished, laughing as he spoke.
Coach Beiste patted the table next to her, where Mr. Schue sat down.
"I'm not gay, you know?" she said, starting the conversation, "I know I can be a little intimidating sometimes, but deep down inside, where no one can see? I'm just a girl. Am, am I nuts that I just want to be reminded of that sometimes?" she asked rhetorically.
"Well that's what dating is for," said Mr. Schue, as if it was the obvious solution. Shannon sighed.
"Last…date I went on, the guy was a freak. All he wanted to do was wrestle," she said sadly.
"Well, let me help you out, then. I'm sure there are plenty of guys o—" Will would have continued, but Coach Beiste cut him off.
"No, there aren't. I'm kind of a specific type."
"Well, you got to put yourself out there, try online dating…"
"I've never been kissed, Will," she said, tears filling her eyes. The room was silent for a moment. "It's the simplest thing. A kiss. It's a doorway to everything else. Promise, hope, of a future with someone? What does that say about me? I'm 40, and I haven't even taken those baby steps yet." She sighed, despondent.
"What that says to me…is that you are a beautiful, amazing woman, whose heart is just too big for most men to stand," Mr. Schuester said, trying to encourage Coach Beiste.
"You really think I'm pretty Will?" she asked, hesitant.
"Inside and out," replied Will, leaning in towards her. Their lips met, sweetly, for only a moment.
"And now you've been kissed," said Mr. Schuester. They both laughed. "Hey, come to the choir room tomorrow at 4:00. The guys want to apologize to you, in person."
"You tricking me into a make-out session, Schueter?" she teased.
The two laughed and hugged.
Artie wheeled up to his…friend? Arch-enemy? He wasn't sure what he and Puck were. The older boy was cleaning out his locker.
"I didn't see you in geometry today," said Artie quietly.
"Jackpot. No, you didn't," Puck said as he slammed his locker, "I'm getting out of here. I'm skipping town, genius. My probation officer says hanging out with you isn't real community service, so if I don't spend, the next six weeks, picking up garbage along the highway, I'm going back to Juvie"
"What's wrong with picking up trash?" asked Artie innocently.
"Are you serious? It's ghetto, dude. I'm not a garbage man. Do you know how humiliating that is? I'm not doing it, and I'm not going back to Juvie," responded Puck.
"Why not? I thought you loved it there," mused the genius.
"Yeah? I lied. It's fricken' terrifying, dude. On the first day, three gangbangers jumped me, and before they could pull them off, they'd already tore out my nipple ring. I thought I was a badass? But there are some hard dudes in there. Guys with no families; guys who look at you like you're some kind of dog they can't wait to kick the crap out of. And they kept taking my waffles." Puck was surprised at himself for opening up that much to Artie, but it wasn't all that bad, being honest.
"So…you be my community service," said Artie.
"What?" asked Puck, not sure if he'd gone crazy or not.
"I owe you—you got me a date with Brittney. You made me feel cool, which is not the easiest thing to do. I really like hanging out with you, so let me tutor you in geometry while you pick up garbage by the highway." Artie said as quickly as he could. He wasn't sure why he felt warmth blossom in his chest, but he figured it was probably the taco surprise they'd eaten for lunch. Puck eyed him carefully. "Geometry's easy, yo! There's no excuse for a guy as smart as you not to get at least a B."
Puck thought for a moment.
"I was kind of a jerk to you at Breadstix," he said quietly.
"Whatever. Just pay me back for the pasta," replied Artie. The bell rang.
"Running out without paying was a stupid idea. If I got caught, I'd be screwed," admitted Noah.
"You need to start hanging around with someone who's a good influence on you, Puck. Give me 6 weeks, and if you don't ace your geometry mid-term, I swear I'll buy you all the waffles you can eat," said Artie.
"That's dope, dude. You got a deal," responded Puck.
Just down the hall, Kurt was putting things away into his locker. He looked at some of his photos, of his friends. The word Courage, cut and pasted. A picture of his current crush; Sam.
And then he felt the cold, hard pain of steel as he was thrown into a locker by none other than Karofsky. He sat on the floor for a moment, just breathing. He needed a way out.
"I don't get it…" said Coach Beiste. She was sitting in the choir room, facing the boys. "It's boys against girls, but…what's the winner get?" she asked.
"Well, we were hoping for your forgiveness," said Finn.
"We just want to apologize for hurting your feelings," said Sam.
"Coach Beiste, we think you're awesome. And even though you're all hard and tough on the outside, it doesn't mean you're not the opposite on the inside," said Finn.
"Like a chocolate turtle," added Sam.
"Yeah, you're nougat-y, and we totally get that now," elaborated Finn, not realizing where he was going. "You're like…a mash-up," he concluded.
"Why don't you guys just get to the song," suggested Mr. Schuester.
"Sure. This mash-up is dedicated to you, Coach. Hard and badass on one hand, and soft and girly on the other," said Artie.
"We hope it makes you smile, 'cause when you smile, you're pretty, and it lights up the room. Seriously," elaborated Puck.
The music began.
|Stop in the name of love
Before you break my heart
Think it over|
Artie started the solo section.
/I wear tight clothing
High-heeled shoes!
It doesn't meant that I'm a prostitute./
|No, No!|
Puck continued.
\I like rap music
Wear hip-hop clothes!
That doesn't meant that I'm out selling dope.\
|No, no, no!|
The boys did a series of falls, that led back into the chorus.
|Before you can meet me
You've got to learn how to see me,
I said: Stop in the name of love,
Before you break my heart,
Think it over.|
The group kneeled down.
|Free your mind, and the rest will follow.
Be color blind, don't be so shallow!|
Sam took over. Kurt almost lost count, listening to the blonde's voice.
/I've known of your, your secluded nights
I've even seen her, maybe once or twice!
But it's a sweet expression,
Worth more than my love and affection/
The boys did another series of runs, and the chorus started once more.
|Before you can meet me,
You've gotta learn how to see me,
I said: Stop in the name of love,
Before you break my heart
Think it over!
Free your mind, and the rest will follow.
Be color blind! Don't be so shallow.|
Artie took over for the end of the song.
/Stop, in the name of love!
Oh free your mind!/
Sam saw Kurt grinding jokingly on Mercedes, and groaned softly. He wanted to be sitting in her spot!
|Before you can read me you gotta
Learn how to see me, I said
Stop! In the name of love
Before you break my heart (Free your Mind)
Stop! In the name of love
Before you break my heart (Free Your Mind)
Stop! In the name of love
Before you break my heart
Baby, think it over
Free Your Mind and the rest will stop!|
Everyone was breathing heavy for a moment after the music stopped, then the applause broke out.
"That was really good. I liked it," said Coach Beiste. "Thank you."
"Get over here!" Artie said, getting everyone together for a group hug. Sam moved so that in the group hug, he was directly behind Kurt. If this was as close as he could get for now, then it was worth it.
Alright everyone! That's it! I'm going to get to work on the next one, and hopefully have it completed and posted by tonight. I want to get through these before I have to go back to work! XD.
Thank you for all the alerts and reviews. I love you all!
