A/N: Chapter three! I'd like to give a shout-out to my super special reviewers- pippapear, TheTalkingCupcake and g.piz!
Disclaimer: Anything Harry Potter is JKRowlings, you know the drill.
Ain't No Classroom Big Enough
Having climbed into bed barely four hours ago, the marauders were royally peeved at the fact they were expected to get up the same time as everyone else. They trudged out of the dorms, bleary-eyed and pale whilst everyone else rushed out smiling and laughing (much to their annoyance).
Sitting down at the breakfast table, Remus pushed aside his bowl and laid his head on the table, breathing slowly, whilst Peter rested his head on his arms. Sirius and James were the only ones to eat.
As they slowly shovelled food into their mouths, Sirius noticed a tall, blonde haired seventh year standing behind James.
"Hows the spring cleaning going, boys?" taunted Lucius Malfoy, raising his thin white eyebrows.
"It's not spring, genius." Remus mumbled.
James turned around and stood up slowly.
"Better than being a death eater." James's expression was hard and cold.
Lucius smiled, "I don't know what you're talking about Potty."
"At least my fun doesn't involve killing innocent people. And my friends are of somewhat a higher grade. I mean, Avery and Snivellus? I suppose, they'd be good for murders- one look at Avery and you'd die vomiting and you'd only have to get a whiff of Snivelly to cark it." James taunted.
"Watch your mouth Potter. Bad things have a habit of happening to people like you."Lucius glared at James, before walking off to the Slytherin table.
James sat down slowly, and the whole of Gryffindor were looking at him, and then began cheering. James, however, looked down and went back to his toast, his ears going red.
"You don't want to go off at Malfoy too much, James," Remus said sensibly, "For what we know, he wouldn't be afraid to do you in."
Sirius snorted, "You worry too much, Moony. James was bang on-right to give Malfoy a bit of what he deserves."
"Anyway," put in Peter, who was in awe of James' magical skill, "as if Malfoy could take down James! He's way too good for him! And stronger! Not to mention his amazing quidditch skills-"
James moved away from Peter, as Sirius laughed, "So, when's the engagement?"
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Only two of the marauders were in Period 4 Potions with Slughorn; and those two were the mischievous of them all. James Potter and Sirius Black were popular and always took the back table, no-one ever contested them, and everyone (well almost) liked them. So, as they waited outside the classroom for Slughorn, the boys thought talking to Judence would be easy.
On their way to her though, they crossed Snape's path. Remembering the reason they were going this way, Sirius sort-of tugged James along. James complied, though his hand twitched towards his wand and Snape narrowed his black eyes.
Judence was leaning against the doorframe, talking to her friend Larissa Stellar…
"…bought this gorgeous gold dress, really suits her eyes and her hair, you know? She didn't want to buy it, but it suited her so well, I just had to get her to- you got a problem, Potter? Coz I swear you were just eavesdropping on our conversation." Judence looked at James wearily.
"Ah, Miss Morr, looking at a beautiful lady can't be against the law?" James did an exquisite bow and then stood up again.
"I have a business proposal, if you please?" James beckoned her over. Judence glanced at Larissa bemused, before walking over cautiously.
"Now, I hear you and the lovely, luscious Lily are picking each other's dates for the ball, would I be correct?" James rolled off like a salewizard.
"I- what? How did you know?" Judence stuttered.
"Well, here is my fantastic one-time offer; hook me up with Lillian, and this wonderful man here will escort you to the ball after you drop the nerd Lily picks!" James beamed.
"WHAT!" Sirius exclaimed who had been un-interested in this conversation until now, "I mean, no offence, Judence…"
Judence surveyed Sirius up and down, a distasteful look on her face, "None taken. Also, no offer taken."
She went to walk away, before James realised what she'd said and jumped in front of her.
"Whoa, Judy-Rudy, don't be hasty! We can figure out another thing for you!" James laughed nervously.
"Give me a list of 10 things I get, hand it to me at the end of class and I may consider thinking about your deal, with one condition."
James looked like he had just re-covered from a heart attack.
"Anything!" he cried.
"No Black. You can offer me a ten-day holiday in France with him and I won't accept." Judence stated and walked off.
"You…want a ten day holiday…" James said softly, feeling less confident.
Slughorn finally appeared and took them inside.
"Up-pa-pah! No, don't sit down!" he shrilled as they went put their books down. Sirius groaned and James rolled his eyes.
"Assigned seating today my friends! I want Cadwell, Laurens and Finster here," Slughorn bounded over to a new desk, "Jerry, Fudge and Malfoy near me, Black, Stellar and Robbins overrr there and Potter, Morrs and Snape at the far end! The instructions are on the board, time starts now! You will be marked as groups, not individuals." Slughorn, now over his burst of energy, tottered back to the professor's desk and poked through his bag for sweets.
James grimaced; true he now had time to work on Judence, but also had to try and not strangle Snape, which would prove difficult.
As soon as he sat down, he felt his temperature rise…
Snape had merely looked at Judence, but was staring hard at James.
He couldn't not do it.
"Sorry Snivelly, I really only let chicks drool over my looks. Your pal Lucius is behind me, I'm sure you could crane you neck to salivate over him." James smiled.
"I'm surprised the class could fit in this room, Potter. Yours and Black's egos are so big, I'm afraid they may burst the dungeons." Snape shot back, as if he had been practicing a come-back.
"OOOOkay, boys!" Judence said uneasily, "why don't you go and get the materials from the cupboard up the front, James-"
"He might need a map to get there." muttered Snape.
"-and Snape, warm the cauldron."
And so the lesson went, with James trying to scribble down a list between making remarks about Snape's greasy hair and talking to Sirius when he made his rather frequent trips to James' table. It was hard work.
Eventually, James finished his list with three minutes to go.
"Why thankyou for contributing Potter." Snape sneered, as James went to pass the list to Judence, "This is the most work you've done all lesson."
"That's not for your eyes, Snivellus." James warned as Snape went to reach for it, however this didn't deter Snape.
"Let's see: 10 Reasons Why You Should…hook me up with… Evans…" Snape finished softly, and suddenly his black eyes flashed with anger.
"Surely you wouldn't get your hopes up on Lily Evans ever liking you!" Snape said flustered, "You're an incompetent, useless, and egoistic insult to the wizarding world whose only talent is riding a tree branch in the air! Lily is sophisticated, elegant, smart and wouldn't date you even out of pity!" Snape panted.
Both James and Judence were looking at Snape apprehensively…
"And YOU," Snape shrilled at Judence, "Betraying her confidence, something you should feel honoured to have! Neither of you deserve her!"
Snape was now standing, looking very much in distress and the whole class was watching him.
"Oooh I think someone has a crushy wushy-" Sirius went to taunt Snape, but only got halfway there, as Snape whipped out his wand and shot a leg-locking curse at him before rushing out of the room, robes flying.
The classroom then stared at James.
"I must have intimidated him a bit," James smiled seductively at the girls, who laughed and swooned. As the classroom went back to normal, James slid the now crumpled list over to Judence, who was sitting with her mouth, still shocked by Snape's outburst.
"Here you are, Ju-ju. Try and not be overwhelmed by my generosity." James picked up his books and trod over to Sirius, muttering the counter-curse for Snape's attack.
The boys saunted out, and the class eagerly followed them. The bell rang a few moments after they left and Slughorn looked up finally,
"Class…dismissed?"
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Judence had only found the list again a few minutes ago. Due to the stress of exams, she hadn't had time to read it before now. She settled on her bed in the dorms and began reading Potter's 'business proposal'.
10 Reasons Why You Should Hook Me Up With Evans
1. I would be the complete gentlemen, treating both her and her friends with respect and duty all night
2. I would be willing to set up her friends with any members of the school's quidditch teams (excluding Slytherin) Yes, I have power.
3. I would personally throw Black out of the room if her friends require it. Stop looking over my shoulder Padfoot. It's annoying. And YES I did say I would throw you out. All is fair in love and war. Yeah, well up yours too. Back to you, Judence (sorry about that.)
4. I would never push Evans into anything she wasn't comfortable with. That means more dates, if you have a perverse mind like SIRIUS WHO IS STILL LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER and think that it meant something else.
5. When Evans falls in love with me, which lets face it, is going to happen, I won't let her forget about her friends.
6. I have excellent reflexes, so if say a chandelier suddenly falls from the ceiling and comes near her friends I would catch it and save the day
7. I would also be able to transfigure the chandelier into a pillow incase its too big for me to catch (which will never happen because I'm strong)
8. Say its Valentines; I have many secret ways to get into Honeydukes; I may be able to pick up some goodies too for her friends.
9. I have a PhD in Snivellus removal, incase there is a infestation lurking somewhere, like NEXT TO ME…or Lily's friends
10. I shall give her friends a big cake if they hook me up with Lily. Yes, you heard right, cake. Don't resist the temptation.
Fill out the attached form and put it in my dorm! Good girl.
Tick Box:
I agree to setting up Lily and James:
Yes
Sure
Of course.
I, Judence (don't know your middle name so I shall call you Bluebeen) Bluebeen Morr, hereby agree to hook me James Potter up with Lily Evans due to the amazing reasons above.
Signed,
sign here
Judence had to admit, the note was pretty funny. As she began to ponder whether or not to do, even if it was just to piss Lily off, she heard someone coming into the room.
Lily dumped her bag on the ground, which made a large noise and jumped backwards onto her bed.
"I'm so hungry. Exams are stressing me out. I'm going to die of hunger and stress." Lily announced.
"Glad to hear it." Judence said as she hid James note.
"There is some good news though," Lily said dramatically, rolling over so she could see Judence.
"Enlighten me."
"I found your date. He's smart, intelligent and a gentleman." Lily said proudly.
Smart, intelligent and gentleman sounded like a bore to Judence. She knew Lily would try and find her a boring guy.
"Where'd you find him?" Judence said unenthusiastically.
"Arithmathy."
"Yeah, well that sounds exciting."
"Like it or not, you made up this thing. So you're going with him." Lily laughed as she walked into the bathroom to take a shower.
"Yeah well I FOUND YOUR DATE!" Judence shot back, scribbling her signature on James's note before running to the boy's dorms.
James was positively beaming when she handed him the note.
"You know, I'm only doing this to annoy Lily." She warned him, "Don't get any ideas."
"Oh Judy-rudy, don't be so pessimistic. You love me." James teased before going to show his victory note to the other marauders.
A/N: Ok, so there's one more chapter before the big one, You Annoyed Me All Night Long (which will be broken into 2 parts.) It's called 'Let's Get The Party Stalled'. Does anyone notice anything about my title names? Yes, they're song titles that I've changed to fit the chapter. I have quite fun finding the songs before I start writing! Reviews please (or I may have to delay the next few chaps –evil laugh-)
