Our Greatest Secret.
A GrimmUlqui yaoi fan fiction.

DISCLAIMERS: Tite Kubo owns Bleach and all its characters.
WARNINGS:Yaoi (GrimmUlqui), lemon (smut), unintentional OOC-ness, and unbeta-ed chapters.


CHAPTER THREE


Black lines, drawing chapped lips, ripped through the pure white walls of Las Noches, insanely pushing the spaces aside in a slow but steady pace. It looked like a large mouth, a giant's mouth, but no teeth were present as to harm its passengers. Once the mouth was open, plain darkness painted the opened space and a couple of Arrancars that had just made a little field trip in the Human Realm.

Grimmjaw took a step out of the Gargantua and then turned back, offering a hand to the smaller man still inside the dark dimension.

Green eyes stared intently at the hand, maybe processing some more information or wondering why such was extended before him. He reflected back to their previous lesson, but the only thing he remembered was that the Sexta did not like this type of contact. Ulquiorra looked up, inclining his head to meet gazes with the taller man. His lightly colored lips were gently sealed, following the orders that was handed to him or simply the rules that was forced upon him to follow.

Blue tinted brows furrowed, "What now?"

Ulquiorra, hesitating in a split second, opened his lips carefully and lifted a hand to point at the other that was being offered to him. But before he could explain, or simply even say anything, the inferior Espada had cut him off with a growl.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Grimmjaw snatched the pale hand and pulled it, making the smaller man stumble and trip out of the large mouth. The Sexta Espada met the other's falling form and caught him with his bare chest.

Ulquiorra pressed his thin hands against the other's exposed chest, preventing himself from falling over the taller man with his whole weight. He looked up after he balanced himself, meeting those blue orbs.

"Sorry." He muttered, staring back at his superior's green eyes. For a moment, he thought he saw something behind the smaller man's defenses, but he could always doubt the Cuatra showing any signs of emotions. Grimmjaw turned away before heat managed to fill his cheeks, a peculiar image of his superior appearing in his mind.

Ulquiorra straightened himself, brushing and fixing his white coat. He looked up to Grimmjaw again, awaiting more orders, but none came. He waited for a few more minutes, but the taller man still didn't budge. He rested his eyes for a moment, and then asked the attention of the Sexta with his monotonous voice.

"Grimmjaw,"

Head still turned away, the blue-haired Espada brought a hand to his face. He bit his lip under his hand and tried to stop himself from thinking back any further to that day, but it won't just go away.

"W-what?" He growled, hiding everything he could from the other.

Ulquiorra turned to where the other was facing and replied, "I don't see anything interesting to where you are facing, or should there be something that I again just could not see from what I know?"

Grimmjaw ground his teeth, turning his back on his superior. "There's nothing." He said, sliding his hands to his pockets, and walked away. He wanted to get back in his room and sort his thoughts out again. The memory haunted him again, and he just wanted it to stop. Remembering it made him feel strange. At first, he didn't mind it and took it simply as an amusement, but it grew. In two night's time, the awkwardness he had been feeling on his chest grew to something he could no longer tolerate.

The Sexta Espada didn't know if he really wanted it or not. One time, he longed for it, maybe even developed a great lust for it as much as he did for strength, but now, or some other time, he regretted even knowing that there was such thing. He was confused, undecided, and utterly disturbed by such a thing. It wasn't normal of him to think of anything this much, let alone thinking about the Cuatra Espada.

"It's still the evening, Grimmjaw."

The seis Espada stopped, but didn't bother to look back. His cheeks still felt hot, and he could be sure they didn't look normal. Showing it to the smaller man will only complicate things further, and Grimmjaw hated things like that. "So?"

"We're still not done."

Grimmjaw sighed, "Ya want more?"

He didn't like being indecisive, that's why he didn't want complicated things. He didn't want being confused, never liked it. But now that he was going through what he hated the most, all he wanted was to stop and put an end to it. He had to decide, that much he knew, and he didn't care anymore whether his decision was for the better or not. What only mattered to him was to get back the peacefulness in his mind, to take away the doubts and burden that fell upon him that day… that day when he felt something inside him turn so painfully.

"Fine." He looked up and flexed his shoulders. He rolled his neck and groaned, tapping his feet couple of times. "Follow me to my room." He said before disappearing, using Sonido to get back to his side of the fortress.

Ulquiorra rested his eyes and followed the blue-haired Espada with the same speed.

Once back in his room, Grimmjaw took of his coat and told the Cuatra to occupy the bed which the man wordlessly complied.

Ulquiorra looked up at Grimmjaw, eyes scanning over the toned abdomen and up to what proved the man to be a Hollow. He opened his lips to talk, but before words could come out, a foreign pair covered it. His green eyes widened, taken absolutely unprepared.

Grimmjaw closed his eyes and took a fistful of dark hair. He snaked an arm under the smaller man, carried him to the center of the bed and pinned him down without breaking their kiss. His fingers crawled up and underneath the white coat of his superior, exploring every inch he never thought he would ever have the chance to.

Thin and pale hands pressed against the broad chest, wanting to get away. He was the Cuatra Espada, two ranks more powerful than his attacker, but for some reason, the ranks proved him wrong. Ulquiorra failed to fight the seis Espada off him. He closed his eyes and clawed the bare skin. His mind went blank, every statistical plan and power forcefully drained out of him, leaving him completely weak and defenseless.

Grimmjaw ripped the smaller man's coat and pants in few swift moves. He broke the kiss for a few moments only to gain air, and then drove back down again. He slid his tongue inside the warm cavern and began exploring as much as he did with his hands all over the pale skin.

Ulquiorra started to shake, but it was only a bit, barely noticeable. His eyes were still round in shock, pupils dilating in fear. He still kept on fighting despite the fact that it was all in vain. He started whimpering, desperation getting the best of him.

Blue eyes shot open, catching a sight of glistening green orbs. Grimmjaw pulled back, mouth slightly open, taken unprepared by the sounds that rang his ears. He knew that sound, and he heard that somewhere before. That was the sound that came with the pounding against the wall that woke him in his sleep, but it was more... scared. More pained.

The cuatro Espada was staring back at him with the eyes that haunted him in his thoughts, the eyes that stared back at him when their lord had offered one of his children to the other for indulgence. He was whimpering with eyes close to tears, like a human child taken advantaged of.

"Oi." He brushed a finger underneath those fearful eyes, hoping to calm him down. He used to long for this look, but now that he had it, now that it was presented to him, he didn't want it anymore. It turned something inside him, like the first time, but it hurt more. It felt like he was stabbed deeply in his chest, and then somebody twisted the blade.

"Oi!" He called again, but nothing happened. His heart started to beat faster when those eyes didn't change, when they didn't turn back to the coldness they always were. He held the Cuatra's shivering shoulders, squeezing and shaking them. "Oi, Ulquiorra!"

The Cuatra jerked with a gasp, as if his time alone had stopped. His eyes finally moved, scanning the room fast and uneasy.

Grimmjaw took one of the smaller man's hands and pressed it against his exposed cheek, "You're cold."

Ulquiorra stared at him and slowly, the storm inside him subsided, leaving his eyes cold and empty of anything but its color. He sighed, and pulled his hand away. The cuatro Espada closed his eyes and rolled his head to the side, mind still blank of any coherent thing to say.

Grimmjaw raised himself, propping on his elbows. "What happened to ya?"

"Nothing."

"Don't give me that shit." He growled and took the superior's hands again, pulling them as he sat up. He transferred both of Ulquiorra's hands in one and used the other to pull the mattress up to his hips. When he finished covering all that wasn't supposed to be seen, he held the pale hands on each of his own.

Now sitting up, he asked, "What are we doing now?"

"Remember this?" Grimmjaw raised their holding hands.

Expression of feelings. Ulquiorra told himself and then stared at the larger man before him, processing the verbal order. Although he understood it right away, he did not speak. He kept his lips together and simply looked at the blue orbs that was on him.

"Now tell me, will ya?"

The Cuatro Espada continued to simply stare, and then, after a while, shook his head.

"Fuck, what's the deal with all these shit if ya don't wanna listen to me?!" He shoved the smaller man down the bed, and again, saw those eyes that broke something inside him. He froze, captured by that peculiar emotion flooding the green eyes staring back. He felt a shiver up his spine, and something... turning somewhere in his chest. It was the same feeling he had just moments ago brought by the very same person and circumstance.

Grimmjaw sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against the other. "Spare me a minute." He sighed and then rolled off the bed, leaving the superior Espada alone on the bed.

The blue-haired Arrancar stood up and picked up the ripped white clothes as he felt heavy stares on him, but he didn't care. He threw it to one corner of his room and headed to his walk-in closet.

Ulquiorra stayed still and made himself rid of the strange sensation in his chest.

The Sexta Espada walked back in his room with a pair of clothes draped over his shoulder. He pulled it off when he was a step away from the bed and threw them to the pale man staring back at him from his bed. "Wear these."

The smaller man caught them easily. He sat back up and unfolded them, realizing that it wasn't his clothes... not even his size. Ulquiorra looked up at Grimmjaw as if he was sending his complaints simply through thinking.

"Your wing is pretty far away, ya ass. I ain't gettin' new clothes for ya. Just use mine for a while, and then get new ones yourself tomorrow." The blue-haired Espada explained, sitting down and occupying one corner of the bed. He turned his head away, wordlessly saying that he was giving the smaller man some privacy to dress up right then.

Ulquiorra turned back to the white jacket before him. It was exactly what the seis Espada had been wearing, an extra pair of his uniform. "I'll be staying here?" He asked as he flipped the jacket around and slid his arms to the long sleeves.

"Roll the fucking sleeves up. Ya'll look like that fag if ya don't." Grimmjaw groaned, looking back at his superior for a while and then turning away again. He leaned forward and rested his arms over his knees, growling. "I don't want to see anything in my room that reminds me of that little suck up."

"You still don't seem to be very fond of Luppi." He replied as he rolled up the long sleeves, revealing the dark color on the other side of the clothing and the paleness of his skin. He saw bruises from the other night, the proof that his lord had laid him to his bed, touching and kissing. Feeling up the skin that no other creature had ever touched but him.

Who owns your body and soul, Ulquiorra? The gentle voice sang in his ear, bringing shivers up his spine. He could still feel the foreign fingers brushing against his skin, and the warm breath tickling his ears. You are mine, Ulquiorra. I own your body and soul. You are my whore.

"Who would be fond of a man-whore?"

Ulquiorra froze, body turning cold. He snapped back to reality when he heard the word again. It was similar in a way, how Grimmjaw addressed the other Arrancar as a whore. Maybe the Sexta didn't call him one, but still, it meant the same. He was one of them, one of those who silently takes everything that was offered to them without asking any questions, without any fight. But he fought Grimmjaw off him, didn't he?

"I mean, that fuck even dreams of taking my place. That bastard can live longer than I am and waste his whole life just dreaming. I swear I'd be ashamed being ranked seis if being one meant being compared to that asshole. If someday I hear that the shit spreads his legs to anyone who fucking asks, I swear I wouldn't be surprised."

Ulquiorra was different, wasn't he? He hadn't been accepting everyone to his bed. It was only Aizen, it was only his lord. It was different, wasn't it? He was not a whore. He couldn't accept that. He knew he wasn't one, but what did others think of him? Did they see him like one?

Oh, I get it. You're willingly swaying your ass up high in the air, asking to get fucked, just because that bastard told ya so!? The words hurt, words that came harsh from Grimmjaw's lips the first time in the thousand nights that he was saved. That's it! You're really gonna get it now!

He wasn't stupid. He knew what exactly Aizen was doing to him, and the only problem was he didn't want to think any of it. He forced himself to simply believe that it was entirely what it was called: a trial. A trial of loyalty. At first, it wasn't so hard to believe. It wasn't that hard for Ulquiorra to give his body and soul if it meant proving his undying loyalty. Second wasn't that hard, either. Third. Fourth. Fifth time, he started doubting. It was strange that only that fifth night he started to get scared, but all was too late. He had become their lord's toy before he even knew it.

"Anyway, if ya don't mind staying here, ya could." Grimmjaw turned to Ulquiorra and found him staring at the white sheets, fingers shaking and clenching at them. The Sexta Espada crawled up and watched his superior closer, realizing that the smaller man was experiencing… whatever it was that he was going through. He couldn't really name it.

"Oi, are ya all right?" He asked, but Ulquiorra didn't answer. "Oi!"

The Cuatra Espada looked up, blinking a few times, and then snatched one of the Sexta's hands and held them tightly between his own. He opened his lips, and with barely noticeable panic, he said, "I… I am not a whore."

"What?"

Ulquiorra held the man's hand tighter, keeping in mind that it was the only way he knew how to express what he wanted to say and what he felt. He didn't know any other way, he had no idea at all. Grimmjaw was the one who taught him that, so he knew for sure that he would understand. Even if what he learned was a lie, at least, he could hold on to that for a while. He was good at that, wasn't he? Good at fooling himself?

"I am not a whore." He repeated, holding the man's hand tighter.

"No shit." He yanked his hand away when he felt the grip loosened slightly. Grimmjaw stared at his hand and flexed his fingers for a while, checking if he got some injury from his superior's vice-like grip. When he found none, he looked up at Ulquiorra with his emotionless mask on. He sighed, "You're acting like a freak again."

"I apologize." He lowered his head for a while, "I'll accept any punishment you see fit."

"Freaky." He muttered, feeling completely weird upon having Ulquiorra bow his head before him. "Anyway, put on the pants. From the way I see it, I don't think ya are quite used to being... exposed, so ya can close the shirt if ya want."

Ulquiorra did what he was allowed to do. He zipped the shirt up to the top, wearing the Sexta's uniform like it was one of his own. He blinked for a couple of times, noticing that the collar was larger than his. It reached up to his nose. Though it wasn't and impossible to be tight, he felt like he couldn't breath, so he pulled the zipper down and let the shirt reveal his skin just above his Hollow hole.

The blue-haired Espada quietly watched his superior fidget with his uniform. He smiled a little, finding a bit of amusement in seeing the great Cuatro Espada dressed up in an extra large uniform. Even though the sleeves were rolled up, anyone could see that three arm-size of Ulquiorra could fit, and the shirt... the shirt was supposed to reach only a few inches below the chest, but it reached Ulquiorra's small hips.

"It suits ya."

The Cuatra Espada glanced at him, and the moved to the other side of the bed with the white pants at hand. He stretched his legs and slid the pants on without completely standing up. He turned his head to Grimmjaw and asked, "The sash."

Grimmjaw groaned, and then bent down, reaching for a black piece of cloth. "I didn't destroy it." He said, handing it to his superior.

"How nice of you to do so." He said, standing and wrapping it around his waist. Ulquiorra said, back facing the bed and the other Espada, "Am I allowed to leave?"

The blue-haired Arrancar glanced out of the window and realized that their lord had turned the skies bright again. They didn't really have any night or day. In Hueco Mundo, it's always dark. In some sense, it meant that he owned Ulquiorra at all times, but their agreement obviously referred to the time in Las Noches, not Hueco Mundo itself. If it did, then the agreement wouldn't make any sense at all. But when did anything ever made sense in Hueco Mundo? It would be morning if Aizen wanted to, and evening if he wished to retire early. Nothing made sense. Nothing ever did.

"Why are ya askin' orders from me?" Grimmjaw jerked his head towards the window. "Night's done."

"I see." Ulquiorra turned his head straight to his path and closed his eyes. "I'm leaving."

Later that day, early evening, Ulquiorra came knocking on the white doors again, ready for another set of nonsense he strangely asked to be informed of. He stood before it, like any other day that he had. His eyes closed, resting, and his hands slid inside his pockets since they weren't needed to do anything at all. The dark-haired Espada knocked again, hearing no sound of movement on the other side of the door.

"Grimmjaw," he monotonously called.

The Cuatra Espada knocked for the third time, and when it was still unanswered, he took the knob and twisted it open. It was unlocked, not very surprising, but why didn't anyone open the door? Ulquiorra helped himself in and spotted the Arrancar, who took ownership in the current wing he was on, lying on the bed with his arms spread wide. He walked further, closer to the bed, and stood beside the seemingly asleep Espada. He bent down, looking at the surprisingly peaceful face. The Sexta looked different without the malicious grin or deep scowl etched in his features, the Cuatra realized.

"Grimmjaw," he called again.

"What do ya want, ya bastard?" The blue-haired Arrancar shifted and turned his head to the side, putting an arm over his eyes. His sleeves was pulled up, revealing the weeping wounds on his abdomen. There were lots of them that came in various depth and length. Green eyes scanned and took note of each and every cut that adorned the toned body. The Sexta parted his chapped lips and said, "If yer too stupid to take note of it, I'm fuckin' tired."

Ulquiorra sat on one side of the bed, eyes still all over the wounded body. Those wounds were made all for him, and the person did not struggle also because of him. It was just strange how everything turned out. For him, it was just a meeting like any other because it started exactly how it usually did. It surprised him when it didn't end how he believed it would be.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, barely recognizable concern lacing his cold voice.

The Sexta Espada sat up and grazed his fresh wounds with his fingers. Blood stained the white mattress, but he didn't care. He was too tired to care about things like that. He raised a knee and rested an arm over it. Grimmjaw sighed and closed his eyes, feeling every cut made in his body weep and throb. It was the worst state he had ever been, and the only ones that could do it to him was on his own side. It was ironic, but at least he didn't have to worry about too much. He just have to behave well and he'd be fine.

"Of course, it does, ya moron." He replied, "I almost died." But he knew he wouldn't. Aizen wouldn't kill him.

The pale-skinned Arrancar stared at the other. "I can not fathom any reason behind your actions, but it wasn't good for you to--"

"Not let that shit touch ya?" Grimmjaw growled, angry eyes looking back at a pair of green. "It's hard to look for concern in yer words, but I'm fine. Things also turned out well for me in the very least."

"I am not concerned about you."

"Whatever." Grimmjaw turned away with a scowl. 'Not concerned' my ass.

"Aizen-sama isn't pleased." He said plainly, looking away and remembering how his lord reacted when it all happened. Aizen wasn't a man of many emotions, or maybe he was, he just hid it behind his smiling mask. It wasn't that often that you see the ex-shinigami captain get shocked like that. Ulquiorra took note of it, and even though Aizen didn't appear much displeased, he could feel how angry his lord was. Behind the smile, behind the sweet voice, his lord was very, very angry.

"Of course, he's fucking not pleased!" He growled, glaring at his superior. "Ya can see how near he brought me to death, can't ya?!"

Ulquiorra moved his hands from his pockets to his lap, looking at how close his skin color was to the cloth. He noted that Grimmjaw's and anybody else's was darker. He looked at the blood stain on the mattress and on the Grimmjaw's white uniform, and then to the very source of it. He sighed, why must he be so different?

"You made such a scene. No wonder Aizen-sama hurt you this much... which makes me wonder as to why you did it."

"You ask too many questions."

"I apologize." Ulquiorra closed his eyes and bowed his head a bit.

"Stop doing that! It's freaking me off!" the Sexta Espada growled. "Regardless, don't ya get any idea that I care for ya!"

The Cuatro Espada stood up and slid his hands back to his pockets. He walked around the bed and stopped when he was in front of the blue-haired Espada. He stared intently at the eyes that fearlessly stared back. Grimmjaw was the one who finished the staring game who looked to his left. Ulquiorra simply rested his eyes and asked, "Why would I?"

"I dunno! Just don't ya dare take it like that." He replied, head still turned away. "'Cause I don't care about you and your ass. I hate you!"

"Yes, that's why you took your zanpakutou and threatened of slicing Aizen-sama's hand if Aizen-sama--"

"Shut up!" He stood up, towering over the pale Arrancar. He was insulted with how the smaller man talked back at him. It was as if he was being played on, and he hated that feeling. Other than being stepped on, he hated people he behave that they could control him. Grimmjaw hated being controlled, he hated being ordered around. His life was his own and it was no one else's power to tell him what to do, what he feels, and even what he thinks.

Grimmjaw glared at the dark-haired Espada, taking steps forward that made the other move back. "I don't care about you." He said, voice filled with anger.

"I know." He replied calmly. Even though Ulquiorra was the one who was retreating, he wasn't feeling threatened. He was the Cuatra Espada after all. He wouldn't be scared of a mere ranked seis Adjuchas that became an Arrancar just because of the Hougyoku. "You hate me."

"Damn right, I do." He stopped walking, finding that they had met the wall. He pressed his hands on the wall, placing them on each side of the smaller man's head. He leaned a bit, getting a closer look at the other man's eyes. "I fucking hate every fiber of you."

"Thank you anyway," he said, ignoring the Sexta Espada's previous remarks, and took one of Grimmjaw's hands into his. He was making it one of his habits so he would be able to keep it mind. He didn't have any plans of really applying it from the moment he learned what holding hands could do, but at least, he could show the person who taught him that he understood it... and appreciate it in a way. "For the first time as well."

The blue-haired Espada froze, seeing something new in those green orbs. It seemed like what used to twist something painfully in his chest, but strangely, this time, nothing hurt. Nothing actually felt out of the ordinary. It was strange, it was really, really strange. He wasn't confused anymore, though, and that made things weirder.

"D-damn it!" He cursed, feeling weird with his face again. He pulled his hand free and turned his back at the frail-bodied Espada. He bit his lip, his brain in a confusion again... just when he thought everything was back to normal.

What the hell's happening to me!?


A/N: Wow, this is a surprise. I haven't been writing in a while, but I think I still have it. I must apologize for errors, though. I don't have a Bleach-beta, all I have is a Tekken-beta. But you can understand it, right? Feel free to question anything if you don't. I don't mind.

Thank you for those who commented about their characters. I really thought I made them OOC. Well, in this chapter, I think I really did! Hahah! I did my best, though. Really. Thank you again, and also for the reviews, story alerts and faves! And the alert and author faves! Ooh! Thank you so much!

Anyway, don't worry, I didn't put up a note here because I'm saying goodbye! Oh, no, no! I love this pairing too much that I can't leave them like this. I'm here because... I'm looking for GrimmIchi supporters? Hahah! I was writing one that's why it took me quite a while to finish OGS's third chapter. My GrimmIchi fic is entitled 'Chess Piece Kings', and it's a story I did with my friend.

Other than GrimmIchi supporters, how about som GrimmUlquiIchi? Hahah! No, it's not a threesome, it's a lovetriangle, actually. It's in AU, as well. Once I release that, it's gonna be officially my first AU fic. Really. Watch out for that, will you? :)