Chapter 3

It was quiet. Way too quiet as Izzie stepped into the house. She worked a lot longer than she had planned on working and all she wanted to do now was take a hot shower and crawl into bed.

"Meredith? Alex? Are you guys here?"

She set her purse down and took off her jacket which she then hung up in the hall closet. Shaking her head she walked up the stairs after she made sure there wasn't anyone in the living room or in the kitchen. Where was everybody?

"Meredith," she knocked on the door. When she didn't receive an answer she opened it carefully. She stood shocked in the doorframe. The bed was untouched. Everything looked just as the night before. So Meredith didn't spend last night in her own bed either. A smile flitted across her face as she walked away. Her fling with Derek Shepherd seemed to be turning into something serious. She had spent the night before with him in his trailer, too. Izzie turned and glanced down the hallway and saw a light spilling out from underneath a closed door. It would seem that Alex was home. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the door but then suddenly stopped her movements. Was it smart, just to walk into his bedroom? They had both seen where that could lead. And tonight they were alone in the house again. Izzie felt the hairs on her arms raise and her heartbeat quicken. They were alone and if they were to kiss this time, it wouldn't be out of feelings of sadness or pity, but rather… she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she shook her head at the absurd thoughts she was having. Alex had made it very clear earlier that day that they would never repeat last night's kiss. It was a mistake that he did not want to make again. And she was the last person who would try to persuade him to doing something, to do something he wasn't ready for. She clenched her fists. He loved Rebecca. And after she was out of the psychiatric clinic with a couple of months of therapy, they would get back together and Alex would start a life with her again. Why was the thought of him with someone else so damn painful? Almost angry, she wiped away the tears that had unbeknownst formed in her eyes. There was only one thing she could do for him: Be a good friend. Having made up her mind, she continued her path forward and finally knocked on his door.

Morosely Alex threw another set of clothes into the suitcase before he zipped it up and answered the knock at his door.

"Yes…" he knew it was her. He had sensed she was there before she even knocked on his door. Izzie was the only person he had this connection with. It was weird. He wondered how he should explain to her what he just did but he figured that words might not do any good. He couldn't say, 'Hey Izzie! I'm moving out because I love you and I can't stand to be near you and not be allowed to touch you and to kiss you'. Most likely she would slap him in the face and they would never see each other again. That was exactly what he wanted to avoid. Because there was something he was even more afraid of, and that was losing the friendship they had. Sighing, he turned and raised his head as she entered the room.

Izzie stood there for a moment, shocked. She refused to accept what her eyes saw in front of her.

"You… want to go on vacation?" she finally mustered as she gestured towards his suitcase.

"No," he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her guiltily. "I'm moving out."

So there. It hadn't been so difficult after all to say it out loud. But his stomach turned in knots as he saw her facial expression.

"Moving out?" Izzie felt as though at any moment her voice might leave her. The unreal word rang in her ears. "Because of last night?" Did she really just say that out loud? Oh my God she did! She could tell by the expression on his face.

He tried not to let on how affected he was by her question. Yes, he thought. Because of the kisses and because he was afraid something like that would happen again. That night resurfaced many old feelings. If he had denied it before, he for sure knew now that he still loved Izzie.

"Alex… Is it because of last night?" she bore further.

He shook his head. It was at the point where it was just easier to lie.

"I thought about moving out before. I just never had the chance to talk to either of you about it," he quickly made up.

Izzie frowned. Why didn't she believe him? It sounded completely plausible. Up until the time he found out Rebecca wasn't pregnant, he must have been looking for an apartment for them. But, because Rebecca was gone, there wasn't a reason for him to move out anymore.

"Have you found an apartment yet?" she asked suspiciously.

Heat raised through his body. Should he keep lying? It was probably too late to start telling the truth. He nodded while he tensely smiled.

"Where?"

Somehow he had considered that she might keep asking him questions. Gradually it dawned on him that she suspected he was lying.

"What?"

"Where will you be living?" Izzie would not admit defeat. She knew he was lying. She just didn't know why.

Nervously he cleared his throat. "Outside of Seattle," he made up quickly again.

"Address? Telephone number? Name of the landlord?" Izzie stood in front of him, her hazel eyes almost only slits.

"What is this? An interrogation?" he demanded.

Slowly she shook her head. "No, I just want to know why you're lying to me!"

You could hear a pin drop. That's how quiet it was in the room.

"So what happens now?" Izzie continued after the silence had become unbearable. "Are you going to transfer to a different hospital so you don't have to see me during the day either?" She didn't mean for the question to sound like an accusation. But that's the way it came out before she could stop herself.

The shocked look in his eyes was real as he looked at her. He couldn't believe that she thought he would actually go that far. He looked over at his packed suitcases. Why did she think that he was doing this? Slowly he shook his head.

"I'm sorry if you've felt that I've involved myself too much in your life." Izzie began reluctantly, "but I really did just want to help you." Automatically she closed the distance and stared at him with pleading eyes. "If I promise you that I won't get involved in your life…" she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "will you stay then?"

tbc