Chapter Two: I Hate That I Love You.
'Stranger…
Do you know what you do to me? Are you aware of the way my heart thuds when I look at you? Do you know I try to run into you just so I can see you? You speak to me, do you feel anything, anything? At all? I have my pride that stops me or else I would have pleaded you to take me. Make me yours. The Yule Ball approaches. Ask me out. Please.
Do you have even an inkling what has happened to me? I just can't free myself from the trap you've set. I hate you for doing this to me. I hate you. But I also lov—"
"What you writing?" the familiar voice of Ginny Weasley made me jump. I slammed the book shut and turned guiltily to her, feeling myself pant just a bit.
"Nothing. Just…diary."
"Oh. You address your diary as…. 'Stranger'?"
"Stranger?!" My voice rose shrilly. "Dear me, no!"
"But that was what you had written there," Ginny pointed as she squeezed in on the Ravenclaw Table.
"You were reading my diary?" I practically shrieked.
"Woah. First, I was not. I just read 'stranger'. Second, how was I to know that it was a diary and confidential?" she replied, narrowing her eyes.
"Yeah…yeah. You are right. You are going to the Ball?" I changed the topic quickly.
"Well, I could. If I accepted Neville's invitation. You?"
"Oh. Nobody would ask me. So…I… I guess I will go home for the Christmas. Of course, I want to go home but I was looking forward to the… Anyway, whatever. Who cares about dressing up, and having a date, and dancing? Not me…" I laughed, my laughter fake and nervous to my own ears.
"Yule Ball…They're making such a big deal of it…" Ginny said softly, studying my face.
"Yeah, it's so dumb." I lied and quickly dug through my bag in search of nothing.
" I gotta go, Lunes." I heard her getting up and go away and I sighed softly. Who cared about the Ball? How did it matter?
It meant nothing to me…just the world.
"Miracles do happen…" I murmured to myself as I adjusted my golden dress robes. The things that happened. It didn't exactly matter that I didn't have any date; I had not expected any. But Ginny had requested Professor McGonagall for an invitation for me. I don't know what she said neither do I want to. What should matter is that I have fun. That's all. That IS all that mattered, that's all. I tried to tell myself but it didn't really work. I was still not hurt, still bewildered as to why I got such a kind of treatment. I was trying to put it all behind me, trying to console myself by saying again and again that I didn't care. It didn't matter he didn't ask. It did N.O.T.
Why would he? Does he know I exist?
"It does not…" I said aloud to myself, trying to believe it.
But I could spend too much time giving myself a pep talk.
Yule Ball was waiting for me.
I hadn't expected it. I really hadn't. But as soon as I saw him with her, I burnt inside.
I heated, cooked, fried and burnt.
I saw Ronald Weasley with Padma Patil. I shouldn't have. It really isn't good for you. This irrational jealousy, this lousy, crappy, dirty feeling. But I'll tell you this: I think it was that feeling that truly brought home that I liked Ron.
I was surprised.
I spent most of the Ball just sitting and watching Ron from a corner. At that time, I had not yet lost my inhibitions; I felt uncomfortable dancing alone.
So I just sat and watched him and observed a couple of things…
First, he wasn't exactly enjoying the Ball either. For that matter, nether was his partner. He seemed pretty lost in glaring at someone darkly; on closely following his gaze, I discovered that he was shooting those killer looks at none other than Hermione Granger.
Hermione. Ah.
Second, Ron was not very kind to his partner; he barely danced with her. It didn't matter; she went off by herself. I would not have minded being there. The two f us could sulk happily. And anyway, I didn't exactly enjoy dancing myself…
Third, Harry followed Ron's suit. Neither did he entertain Parvati nor did he seem to be in the best of the moods. He was, instead, staring holes through Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory. Poor Ginny. Poor Patil sisters.
Oh, Ron seemed to be having a tiff with Hermione now. Ah, jealous! I like guys who are jealous over girls.
Wait.
Ron was jealous? Over Hermione? That meant…that meant he liked her. Didn't it?
No, that was impossible. No…
I felt like as if a stone had dropped down my throat and made its way down to my stomach. And then it sank there with all the Butterbeer that I had drunk. I had been such a fool, thinking he would notice me. Sure he would, as Loony Lovegood!
The already subdued evening had been ruined for me. What was the point in coming to the Yule Ball? I had hoped he would notice me but I guess not. I really should have gone home.
"Yes, Luna, you really should have," I berated myself as I made my way back slowly to the Ravenclaw Common Room.
"Luna? Luna!" Ginny Weasley called after me as I exited the Entrance Hall.
"Gins. Hey. How was the Ball?" I replied, trying to not reveal the turmoil within me.
"It was…ow…great." She hobbled over and shook her head to stop asking me from asking what happened to her foot.
"Neville's waiting for me." She said it like as if that would explain it.
"Ok"
"Yeah…so…going to bed? So early? What happened?" she asked, concerned.
"Oh, nothing. Just, I had my fill of Butterbeer and food so I figured there was nothing left for me to do. But, um, thanks for getting me the pass. It was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." And an eye-opening as well…
"Oh boy, seems like this night hasn't all that well for the lot of you. You, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Parvati, Padma, Fleur, Roger. I am sorry, I really am." She sighed sadly.
"How?" I asked curiously.
"Harry…well…he…I…ah...Ron and Hermione had an argument over Krum. They are still fighting, oh dear." She shook her head.
"Balls are made to create, controversies, Gin."
"Yeah, I suppose. Listen, I gotta go. Neville…"
"Yes, of course. Goodnight, Ginny."
"Night, Luna."
So they had a fight over Krum… And Padma Patil too wasn't in the happiest moods. She ranted for an hour on how she hated her sister and Ron. I listened to her. I didn't mind; she talking about Ron.
A/N: Oh man, I am exhausted. I typed all the past three chapters at one go and there is still one more left. Can't do any longer.
So, until I take rest, you all type. My reviews of course. Come on, it's Thanksgiving (hehe).
