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Chapter 3: Bad Liar

He wasn't sure if things could be simple. A life with Rose would not be simple—logistically and for hundreds of other reasons.

What he really meant was that a life with Rose would not be simple. Like with her with her.

But life simply with her, just being her friend, just eating breakfast and lunch and dinner with her, just laughing and holding hands, just telling off-color jokes together, just saving the universe on a regular basis, that was becoming less and less simple as well.

He wanted simple. He wanted the simplicity he felt when he held Rose's hand. They did that a lot more now, even when they weren't running. But he could feel Time, or something, trying to make things difficult for him.

His love for her should be impossible. She was human, he was Time Lord. He'd gone over this difference over and over again to himself. He was quite aware of it. It was a problem that really inspired so many more problems that weren't exactly solvable with a swish of his Sonic Screwdriver.

But his hearts simply plugged their ears and whistled loudly in a petulant "I can't hear you! I can't hear you!" kind of way.

His hearts, then, were irrevocably stubborn and hell-bent on loving Rose. His mind was too, mostly, the part of his mind that loved humanity, the part of his mind that made him rescue Earth from itself and from a litany of unsavory alien interlopers.

The other part of his mind was on the fence. After all, it loved Rose too, but it also saw the problems of a Time Lord loving a human. It was the smart part of him, the part that should probably win because its principles weren't flawed and it meant well, but damnit, it wasn't exactly pulling any heartstrings.

This was the part of him who wasn't sure if life with Rose could be simple, and the part that wouldn't let him say those three very important words that he knew needed saying.

"Banana?" he heard her say, the sweet but lilted sound of her voice breaking him out of his reverie.

"Huh?"

"Banana. Do you want one?"

They were standing hand-in-hand next to a refreshment stand in Hyde Park sometime in 2012. She'd spotted chocolate-covered frozen bananas and dragged him over before he even realized where she was taking him, he had been so deep within his thoughts.

"Ah, yes. Of course!" He brought his lips back up into the crooked smile that made her eyes twinkle, and if the thumping of her pulse in her wrist against his hand, it made her heart quicken too. That gave him hope.

She handed him a banana and paid the man at the counter and they turned to find themselves a spot on the wrought iron fence that enclosed the park.

"What were you thinkin' about, just then? You looked a million years away."

He laughed nervously and pulled on his ear, wanting very much to make eye contact with her melty-brown eyes, but knowing that if he did that he might say something rash.

"Oh, you know, little thingy in the TARDIS needs some work. Couldn't Sonic it. Might have to resort to brute force. Old girl won't like that too much-"

"You're a right bad liar, you know."

"Yeah, that bad?"

"No one'd believe you." She stepped closer to him, making his hearts race even more. She still held his hand tightly.

"Believe what?" he asked, attempting to scrape enough time to get his heart rates back down to normal.

"That you were thinking about TARDIS repairs. You have a banana in one hand and my hand in your other. You weren't thinking about the TARDIS."

"What are you suggesting, Rose Tyler?" he said, raising his eyebrow.

She blushed slightly, but smiled so that she bit her tongue with her front teeth, and looked up at him through her long, dark eyelashes.

"I just think that if you've got two things that I suspect you like very much in such close proximity, you aren't exactly thinking of wires or whatever it is you work on when you're under that thing."

Specifically, this was not exactly true. He was thinking about the TARDIS in a certain capacity, but not in a way that he could mention casually, and definitely not in a way that involved a lot of clothing, or any.

"I think that I like the things I've got 'in such close proximity' more than very much."

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Definitely."

"You've always had weird sort of romance with bananas, though. I'll admit, they're growing on me, too."

"Ah, Rose, but I don't mean the banana. I mean, I do, because bananas are wonderful. But really, though, really I mean-"

"Wait," she said, looking at him square in the eye. "Are…are you sure you want to say it?"

"What?"

"You don't have to say it yet. If you say it now, your brain might not catch up with your mouth. You'll regret it. I just don't want you to regret it when…if you say it."

"Rose," he said, taking a deep breath that he found was surprisingly necessary. "I wouldn't ever regret it. I never regret telling you things that I mean. You deserve to hear them."

He too stepped closer after having licked the stick clean of his chocolate-covered banana.

"It's just-" he attempted.

"It's just what?"

"I just…sometimes I feel like the universe might be out to get me. I worry about you, too. I worry about how dangerous it is for you to travel with me. I think about how much it would break my heart to see you hurt again or worse…" he couldn't say it. "I'm worried that if I say it, if I tell you, then our clock will start, and we'll just be counting down to some horrible, unknown, and empty end."

"But you can't know that," she returned.

"No, but I can feel it. I've been alive a long time."

"But how many times…" she started. "How many times have you…"

"Have I what?" He was looking at her with dark, piercing eyes. It gave her a chill as she returned his gaze.

"You've been alive a long time. And I know that you've done things and been places that I can't even fathom—met people that I can't even imagine. But.." She breathed in and out deliberately, bracing herself for what she was about to say. "Doctor, how many times have you been in love?"

He looked down at her, suddenly acutely aware of their difference in height. He could really appreciate the cut of her blouse from this angle.

He smiled.

"Just once."

TBC!

Thanks for reading. I'm not sure how much more I'm going to write of this. Right now the length is indefinite, I'm kind of just writing as I go along. Improvisational fiction, if you will.

Please, please review!