Chapter Three

Jennifer read the results twice, considered running the test again, but thought better of it. She knew the outcome would be the same. This was Dr. Rodney McKay. She sighed and turned, nearly running into Sheppard.

"Well?" Sheppard asked, folding his arms across his chest in impatience.

She handed him the piece of paper. "He is who he says he is."

He snatched the paper from her hand and looked at it. She watched his eyes scan then scan again.

"I'm not going to run them again," she said, stepping around him. "He's Dr. Rodney McKay, plain and simple."

"You know what this will do to Elizabeth?" Sheppard asked, his footfalls clomping toward her. "She'll want him to stay. She'll try to pick up her relationship with him as if nothing ever happened."

"You don't know that," Jennifer said, stopping at a patient's bed and checking the vitals.

"I know her." Sheppard turned her to face him.

She saw the worry in his eyes and realized how serious he found this.

"She's mourned him for three years. She might have tried to hide it, but I know better. This is a second chance for her and I know she'll take it."

Jennifer sighed and moved away from the bed to a quieter spot. "Why should we deny her what she wants?"

Sheppard narrowed his eyes. "Because she's going to get her heart broken again. He'll want to go back to his own reality and she'll be right back where she was. I don't want to see that happen which is why I don't want him being around her."

"It's not up to you or anyone, John. She's going to do what she wants whether you like it or not."

"Then I guess we better prepare for the fall out. I better go tell him he can leave the room."

Jennifer watched John leave and sighed. From word of mouth and Elizabeth's own words, she'd learned Elizabeth and Rodney had been in a relationship before the fateful puddle jumper crash. Elizabeth had been devastated to the point where she'd shut herself in her quarters for two weeks. She'd almost been relieved of duty and replaced, but John had convinced Elizabeth she was needed.

I don't know what I would have done in her place.

A few hours later, she finished her rounds and headed down to the mess hall for dinner. She stopped short when she saw Rodney standing in line before her. He turned and his blue eyes brightened when he saw her. He smiled and her insides melted.

"Hello," she said, glad her voice didn't crack. "I see they let you out."

Rodney laughed. "You make it sound as if they put me in the brig."

She shrugged suddenly feeling shy. For the past two years all she saw of him was a picture. All she knew about him was from Elizabeth and to a small degree, his team mates. To see him up close and personal set her nerves on edge. She could barely put two words together.

"People are going to freak," she said, picking up a tray to distract her from his blue eyes and listen-to-all-day voice.

"People are freaking now." He placed a plate of steak and green beans on his tray. "Someone fainted when I walked down the hall on my way here."

"My God," she said in shock. "Were they all right?"

He shrugged and grabbed a hand full of grapes. "Someone was there to help her. Besides, seeing someone pass out because of me was a bit much. I made my way here as fast as I could. Then again, people are staring at me in here."

"You have to look at it from their point of view," she said, dropping some strawberries on her plate to join her chicken and rice.

"I know. I've been dead for three years." His voice was full of annoyance. He blinked as if realizing what he said then shook his head. "You know what I mean."

He left the line and headed for a table. Jennifer followed him, drawn to him. She wanted to get to know him more. At least, that's what she told herself when she sat across from him.

He looked at her, his eyebrows shot to his hairline. She smiled and unscrewed the top from her water bottle. She took a long drink, keeping her gaze with his. The smoldering flame in his eyes startled her. She stopped drinking before she swallowed the wrong way. Warmth crawled up her body.

Where had that come from?

She slid her gaze away and focused on cutting her chicken. She felt his gaze on her and her face warmed. She placed a piece of chicken in her mouth, savoring the taste.

Rodney stared at her, his breathing quick. She closed her eyes and pulled the fork from her mouth. His heart pounded and his lower regions tightened in response.

What am I doing? She doesn't know me in this reality!

To get his mind away from amorous thoughts, he focused on his food. He tore into his steak, trying to ignore the stares around him. It was unnerving and annoying, but he understood. He'd do the same if he were in their place.

You already have, he told himself, remembering how he reacted when he came face to face with Elizabeth only a couple of hours ago. He couldn't get over it and he doubt he'd ever get used to it.

"What's it like in your reality?" Jennifer asked.

Rodney looked at her and saw the curiosity burning in her eyes. She looked so adorable.

"Not much different than yours," he said, swirling the water in the bottle.

"So it's like walking into a mirror world?"

He set the bottle down and sighed. "Almost. We lost our Elizabeth last year."

"I'm so sorry. Seeing her here…"

"Is like her seeing me," he finished, looking at her.

She blushed and looked down at her food.

He cleared his throat and dug into his meal, trying to fight the wild emotions churning inside him. He'd never been so out of his element. Long buried feelings came rushing back to him while at the same time, he felt like he was starting over with another. He had no idea what to do and no idea going about doing it.

"Did you care about her?" Jennifer asked.

Rodney blinked at her. Should he really answer that? Could he answer that? He cleared his throat, warmth flooding his face.

"Yes," he answered softly. "I never got to tell her."

"I'm sure she knew."

He wanted to think that, hoped she knew. Maybe this was why he was here. He'd been given a second chance. The only problem was he loved someone else.

~*~

Rodney stepped into his lab and the noise of conversation stopped immediately. He sighed and stared at all the people taking a gander at him. He folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head to the side.

"Take a good long look, people," he snapped. "You're not seeing a ghost. I'm not a figment of your imagination. I'm real. Now get back to work."

He heard them grumble, but he ignored them. He strode toward the nearest workspace and looked at the computer.

"Don't expect to pick up where you left off," Zelenka said behind him. "This is my lab now."

Rodney barely turned his head to look at him. "Pardon me if I don't want to stay confined to the lovely living space Sheppard provided me."

"I wasn't implying that. What are you doing anyway? Trying to find a way back?"

"Seeing what you've been up to," Rodney answered, keeping his gaze on the computer. It hurt to know he'd been replaced, but at least he knew the lab had been in good hands.

This isn't my reality. Stop thinking like that.

He couldn't help thinking it, though. It was the perfect reality. Elizabeth was alive, Carson was still around, and Jennifer was here. What more could he ask for?

"Have you talked to Elizabeth?"

"Yes," he answered, reading through some data. "She's more than surprised to see me."

Radek turned him to face him and he saw concern in the other scientist's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"She's mourned you for three years," Zelenka said.

"I know." He turned back to the computer, but Radek grabbed his arm and swung him around. He narrowed his eyes at the other man. "What?"

"Don't get her hopes up then dash them. I doubt any of us can withstand the fall out."

"What are you talking about? How am I getting her hopes up?"

Radek shook his head. "For a genius you can be quite dense."

The scientist walked away before Rodney could give him a piece of his mind. He rolled his eyes and focused on the screen. Instead of seeing the data, he saw the emotions rolling in Elizabeth's green eyes. He understood that expression because he felt the same when he saw her. He closed his eyes and sighed.

I need to talk to her.

He hurried out of the lab and went in search of Elizabeth.

Rodney found her in her office, reading a tablet. He figured she was reviewing some reports and he would be happy to provide a reprieve from them.

She looked up when he strode in and the way her eyes lit up when she saw him sent soothing warmth flowing through his body. Nervousness came over him and he cleared his throat, stopping before her desk.

She placed the tablet on her desk and leaned forward in her chair. "What brings you here?"

Not knowing what to do with his hands, he placed them behind his back. It had been so long since he'd seen her last, he had no idea what to say to her. He'd never been this awkward before with her. What was wrong with him?

He cleared his throat and leveled his gaze on her. "What was your relationship with your Rodney?"

She stared at him, blinked in surprise. She rolled away from her desk and stood. He watched her, trying to gauze her emotions. She kept her gaze from him. Did he cross the line? Should he apologize and leave?

Elizabeth came around her desk and approached him. She looked up at him and his heart pounded at the lost expression in her eyes.

"I care about him," she said, her voice quiet, but strong. "I loved him more than anything. I tried not to, knowing I was command of this city, but I couldn't hide what I felt."

Rodney looked at his feet, knowing he tread on raw emotions. The problem was, he understood. He knew how she felt, for he'd been in the same boat. The problem was, he never told her how he felt.

"Did he know?"

Elizabeth smiled and went to the window. She folded her arms across her chest. She was silent for several minutes and he wondered if she would answer. He closed the gap between them, the urge to wrap his arms around her pulling at him.

"Yes," she whispered. "We tried to keep our relationship discreet, but everyone knew."

He smiled at the images those words conjured. It didn't take long before everyone knew he was dating Jennifer.

She turned away from the window and faced him. The warmth from her body engulfed him, warming him. He stared into her eyes and saw what could have been. The thought pained him and he grieved for wasted opportunities.

"I've been given a second chance," she whispered, tears lining her eyes. "I don't know if I should take it."

His heart raced and his arms itched to take her in his arms. He'd been given a second chance as well. A chance to tell her what he'd felt all those years ago. What he obviously still felt.

The only problem was he loved Jennifer. He didn't want to betray his feelings for her or hers for him. He didn't want to ruin his first real relationship with someone.

You had a real relationship with Elizabeth. Granted it wasn't a romantic one, but it was a relationship.

Confused and frustrated, he stepped away and ran hand through his hair.

"We both have a second chance," he said, not facing her. He didn't want to see the look in her eyes. He didn't trust himself not to hold back. She was right there before him, a chance to do what he'd wanted for years before she'd been taken from him. He could start over. Get it right this time.

"You don't want to take it?" Elizabeth's voice drew closer to him and he tensed. All it would take was her hand on his back and he'd give in.

"We can't," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"You didn't love her?"

Rodney turned his gaze on her and he narrowed his eyes. "How can you think that? Of course, I loved her. She didn't think it was proper for her to be in a relationship with a subordinate."

Elizabeth blinked and he wished he hadn't said anything.

"Didn't you try?"

He scoffed and paced away from her. "She wanted to keep herself at a distance. I always thought it was because she cared too much. I wonder now if she was afraid of her own feelings. I should have confronted her, but now it's too late."

"No, it's not," Elizabeth said. "I'm here now. You're here now. I've missed you so much, it hurt."

She ran her hands up his chest and his heart threatened to burst forth. He inhaled her wonderful smell and realized how much he'd missed it. He closed his eyes, breathing it in. It would be so easy to wrap his arms around her and hold her against him. So easy to kiss her, do what he'd always wanted to if she'd only allowed him.

Now's your chance.

Rodney looked down into her eyes and saw her eyes darken with desire. His breathing increased and it took all he had to step away from her.

"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked, concern and hurt in her voice.

He closed his eyes and tightened his hands into fists. He wanted her so much it was agony. He looked at her, hoping she would understand.

"I'm not your Rodney," he said, his voice choking. "I wish I was."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath and cast a glance at the ceiling. He didn't want to tell her, but she deserved to know.

"In my reality, I'm in a relationship with Dr. Keller."