The faces of his two friends soften further as the commander breaks down completely, sobs shaking his whole form. As the flood gates opened, and he began to drown in his sorrow, his hand grasped the pitcher of ale, and he tossed it back, chugging the contents down. He then slammed the pitcher onto the counter, and motioned for the tender to pour another full pitcher for him. As a bit of thunder crackled overhead, his mind wandered... Celebriel loved the rain.

/It was a dark, gloomy day, yet the elf he was so madly in love with was more energetic than ever. She rushed about her duties with a vigor he had never seen from her before. While everyone lingered inside the halls of skyhold, she spent more time outside in the rain. Her eyes had glittered in a way he had never before witnessed, as if the downpour made her feel more alive. She had stopped by his combined office and quarters, absolutely drenched to the bone, and yet she just grinned at him. "Need any errands run? I gave the scouts and clerks the day off since it is raining." Her face lit up, and made her look more alive somehow, as if the rain made her vitality rise immeasurably.

He stared blankly at her for a while, before he finally summoned his voice, sounding a bit incredulous even to himself. "You're doing everyone's work today?..."

She grinned up at him, her beautiful eyes beaming eagerly as she nodded. Her expression was filled with childlike excitement, and as he watched her she bounced back and forth from foot to foot, as if the giddiness was too much to contain. "It lets me be out in the rain more."

He had smiled softly at her, moving to opening the door to the battlements. "I will have a clerk handle the rest... let us take a walk, hmm?" He smiled a bit wider as her face lit up like a Feastday Tree once more.

She dashed out the door, twirling happily as the rain began pelting down onto her. It was nearing Feast Day, wasn't it? He made a note to get her something special… perhaps a Halla like she had when she was with her clan. His eyes widened slightly as she turned towards him, those soft violet eyes suddenly welling with tears. He had been dumbstruck, and then, as suddenly as he had stopped he found himself moving again, striding powerfully out into the rain to wrap his arms around her. He ignored the fact that the fur of his armor was getting drenched, and potentially ruined, instead holding her tighter to him. "My lady… what's wrong?"

She huffed as he spoke, her head shaking quietly. "We are in love yet still you insist on formalities…" She slowly pulled away from him, leaning out over the battlements to gaze upon the mighty fortress. "There are so many people counting on me. I'm an elf, Cullen. The most disrespected race in all of Thedas. And I'm supposed to save it? On top of all this, I'm also a mage. So I have the potential of being a host for a demon. Which is why the templars don't trust me. And the mages don't trust the templars… and I'm stuck in the middle wondering how all this shit happened anyway. It's overwhelming. It's scary. And you are my rock. And I know you hate not being able to come with me, but… you being in danger would kill me. And you do a better job here."

Cullen had sighed, and nodded his agreement, just listening to his love vent out all her rage and frustration. His arms wrapped around her from behind, resting his hands against her belly while his chin rested on the top of her head. "It may not mean much, but we are all proud of you."/

Cullen wandered for hours, memories piercing through his subconscious to assail him over and over until he found himself in her room. They hadn't done much with it other than straighten up her desk, which had been perpetually cluttered with paperwork, drawings, and half written poems. He wandered over to the desk, his hand running over the hard wooden surface thoughtfully. He had spent many a night watching her draw, or write, or work at this desk from the bed… he had loved watching her… how intense her expressions were as she focused on sketching out scenes of her friends. The cute bow of her mouth when she frowned as she messed up a detail and had to scribble to fix it. The crease between her eyebrows as she remembered a particularly difficult part of a mission… and the small smirk over her face as she sketched a caricature of one of their more serious companions. His hands reached reached out to grasp the top sheet of paper, his eyes watering a little as it was an image of himself, sleeping, his face peaceful. She had stayed up one night and watched him sleep, just so she could draw him. He carefully rolled the picture up, and moved on from the desk, wandering about the room that was chock full of memories. He found himself beside her dresser now, his hands pulling out an elegant dress… she had worn it to the Empress' ball, he squeezed his fingers around the soft fabric, bringing it to his face to inhale her lingering scent. "I miss you…" he mumbles. He pulled the dress off of the hangar and moved towards the balcony, pointedly ignoring the bed for now. They had danced... or... she had and he had fumbled along behind her. A slow shake of his head cleared it of that melancholy thought, and he moved on to the balcony which lay across the room from the bed. He sighed softly, and leaned out a bit, resting his hands on the railing to stare out over the mountain ranges, which lay covered in a light dusting of slush-y snow. "You'd like this weather, I think... cold, wet... just what it took to make you feel alive." He shook his head, a small smile flitting over his lips as he remembered how it felt to have his arms around her waist as they stared out into the sunset. He felt tears begin to well up into his eyes once more, and he turns, finally staring at the bed, that had seen many nights where he lay with her in his arms. "I'll be with you one day..." He sighs, and moves closer to the bed, wrapping himself up in her sheets, after divesting himself of his burdening armor, and eventually fell asleep, enveloped in her scent.