"Lupin, your Wolfsbane will be ready by noon." Severus spoke quietly, peaking his head through Remus' classroom door. Remus looked up from his paper work, and blinked a few times. He had just woken up about half an hour ago, and he still didn't have all of his witts about him yet. Once it registered in his mind though, he smiled and nodded, looking back down at his work.
"Thank-you, Severus."
Severus Snape nodded, and turned to leave before Remus called after him.
"Oh, I forgot to ask you.."
"Yes?" Severus asked, sighing.
"Do you have any of," he glanced at his paper. "Angelina Johnson's old Potions essays? She seems to have a reference to one of her other essays in mine..She says I should read the other one to understand this one paragraph because it was too long to explain again."
Severus nodded.
"I know exactly what you're referring to. I'll bring it up with your potion this afternoon."
Remus nodded.
"Thank-you."
"Mhhm.." Severus replied, shutting the door behind him when he left.
Remus was left alone again, and now had time to gather his thoughts on Severus properly. Ever since Albus had told him Snape would be making his Wolfsbane, he had honestly been a bit wary...Severus had hated him ever since they were in school together...A stupid prank he wasn't even first-hand involved in, and Snape had come to hate him. What would give him any reason not to posion him? Any reason not to mess it up so he wasn't safe, and harmed a student..therefore, harming the first career he'd had in 5 years.
But he had justified this. Albus trusted Severus, and so would he. Besides, he wouldn't jepordze his own job just for Remus. As much as he held resentment toward the werewolf, he would never put his own job at risk for a simple thrill in payback...Severus was sometimes cold-hearted, but never that much. He wasn't cold hearted to himself, anyway...And obviously, not to Remus.
For now.
By the time lunch rolled around, Remus was starving and tired. His 1st, 3rd, and 6th years had given him a run for his money today, and he was so thankful he had a break before having to deal with his 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 7th years. He wouldn't be eating in the hall today since he had to drink his Wolfsbane, so taking out the bag lunch he had, he quickly dug into his chicken and bisquits. He wouldn't touch his Pumpkin Juice until after he had taken his Wolfsbane. It tasted absolutely horrid, but adding any sugar would render it useless. He had to save his drink, therefore, to chase down the bitter taste afterwards.
Sighing and opening his mouth for his second bite of chicken, his door opened and Severus walked through, carrying a steaming goblet with a shimemring blue substance inside. Remus took a deep breath and stood, conjuring another chair for Severus to sit down. He took the chair gratefully, though he wouldn't be staying long. He handed Remus the goblet and stared at him.
"You know I wouldn't do that to you." He spoke quietly, almost inaudible, seemingly hearing Remus thoughts.
"I'm an accomplished Legillimens, Remus, and I would never taper with your potion."
Remus nodded and smiled slightly.
"Thankyou, Severus."
Snape nodded and Remus drank the goblet, his face twisting in disgust as he downed it without a breath until he was finished. Gasping after he was done, he closed his eyes a moment, reaching for his Pumpkin Juice. Severus grabbed it first and handed it to him, never before seeing the effects the potion itself had on Remus.
All the years of hatred, replaced with a hesitant moment of understanding and sympathy in one moment.
What was it really like being a Lycanthrope?
'A joy I will never know,' Severus thought to himself, before shaking it and opening his mouth to ask Remus that very question.
He had actually always wanted to ask.
"R-Remus," his firstname felt awkward on his tongue...He hadn't called him anything but 'Lupin' for 18 years.
"Yes?" Remus replied, opening his eyes.
"What..What is it really like being a werewolf?" He whispered.
Remus chuckled.
"What's it like? You say that as though you expect it to be a walk in the park!" He stood and paced the room, before leaning against his desk and resting his right hand on his hip.
"It's horrible. I hate it. I hate being a threat to these students. I hate being a threat to all of society...I hated being treated as an outcast when I already feel like one." He added quietly. "I put these children in harm's way everyday and they don't even know it. I'm violent, Severus, I'm harsh sometimes. Full Moon doesn't have to be around for me to show that side of myself...And it's scary. I scare myself, Severus. One day, I'm going to scare these kids...It's horrifying."
Severus stood.
"But it doesn't have to be."
Remus furrowed his eyebrows and now it was Severus turn to pace the room.
"You're safe here, Remus. You're under the control of Wolfsbane potion now, I would never tamper with it on you, you're a good teacher, and you aren't an outcast to everyone. Not all people are afraid of werewolves. I am not."
"How is that? Because of a sick joke 20 some-odd years ago, you came face to face with one, showing it's fangs to you, howling in your face, inching closer to devour you," he turned away from him. "Because of a joke 20, some-odd years ago, you hate me." He turned back to face him now and Severus stared at him.
"Admit it, that you do." Remus added. "Go on. Tell me you hate me. Alot of people have your same view."
"I don't hate you, Remus. I admit I felt I did, but I don't now. I know you weren't in on that...joke, if you want to call it that, and I know that you never said anything un-kind about me, even if your friends did. If I hate anything about you, Remus, it's that you act like a coward. I wish the wolf in you would show the self confidence wolves have. you're always blaming yourself, always putting yourself down. I hated the pity...For one week I had to lie in the Hospital Wing next to you, and listen to you moan about how horrid you felt...How you're such a beast, and that's why this happened...It's a lie! It's all lies...Pure, unadulterated, lies. You aren't a monster, and it wasn't your fault. If you had laid off the pity, irreguardless of everything else, we still could have been friends. I just couldn't be around someone like that."
Turning and grabbing the goblet, and waving his wand so the chair flew back in it's place against the wall, Severus walked towards the door, but before he left he turned to Remus again, who's head wasn't down, staring at his feet like always during conversations like this, but up and pale.
"You're nothing for anyone to be ashamed of, Remus...You're the one shaming yourself."
