Hmm, I'm not getting that much reviews.
I'm now thinking that no one really likes this story.
Would you mind just telling me so I would stop writing it,
and just write a R+A story?
Please.
You know reviews are very important to writers.
So yeah.
Thank you to the few who reviewed, I appreciate it.
I truly do.
Here's chapter 3.
Chapter 3
I walked back to our apartment angrily and without talking to Dimitri. He tried to talk to me a few times but decided it was a lost cause. I am so angry that traitor tears are threatening to fall. Damn hormones!
I went to our room and went straight to the bathroom and slammed the door shut and locked it. I sat on the floor and just stayed there while Dimitri knocked outside my door.
"Roza? Please come out so we can talk." He said.
I didn't say anything. Some things are going through my mind. Like how dangerous this mission will be, how no one will come out untouched, and how there will be lives lost. I know that all guardians are risking their lives everyday, but most guardians doesn't have a kid on the way or a wife for that matter.
"Roza, please. We need to talk about this." He said, "I have to do this. I have to do this for myself, for you and for our baby."
I couldn't help myself, I opened the door to face him. "For me? For our baby? For us? Are you kidding me? Have you thought about what would happen if, God forbid, you didn't return to us? You think I could raise a baby alone? Or you think I could bare living in this world without you? You didn't think about all this did you? You didn't even mention it to me beforehand and I know that you've been thinking about this ever since Lissa told us about her plan. I cannot lose you, do you get that? Not again. I already lost you twice. I don't think I can do it the third time!" By the end of my speech, my tears were falling down my face uncontrollably and I could barely talk clearly.
"Roza..." He started, coming close to me to hug me.
"No. Do not touch me." I said through gritted teeth. "I can't believe you didn't tell me this beforehand."
"Please just let me explain." He said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this even when I knew you would react this way, I'm sorry. I should have tell you everything, you're my wife, my best friend, the mother of my child, and the most important person in my life. I'm sorry I didn't talk about this with you first before asking the council permission but please know that I have to do this. I am still haunted by what I did when I was... strigoi. And when Lissa told us about the raid I thought maybe, just maybe, helping in decreasing their number might help me get over it. Knowing that there are less strigoi in the world and knowing that I had something to do with it might ease some of my guilt."
I looked at him, not sure how to react: be sympathetic because this guilt is still consuming him or be mad at him for not even telling me about this guilt. He told me that he has forgiven himself about this and I believed him.
"I am sorry, Roza. I have hidden these feelings from you and I am very sorry." He said.
I put my guardian mask on, not showing any signs of pain and hurt on my face. "I understand your reason for wanting to do this, well now I do. Do whatever you want to do, and maybe don't even bother telling me what you want to do seeing as you have kept so much from me. Goodnight." I said, going straight to the guest room to get some sleep as I was very exhausted and very, very upset.
My husband, the one who swore to share the rest of his life with me, won't even tell me what's been bothering him for God knows how long. Isn't honesty what marriage is about? What else have he been hiding from me? Just thinking of other possible things that he might be hiding from me makes my heart ache. And soon enough I cried myself to sleep.
Not long after that I saw a sight before me that is very familiar. I was in a beautiful garden and I was wearing a red sundress.
"Hey Adrian. Where are you?" I said, not looking at anything in particular but the sky.
Finally, he stepped from the bushes and showed himself. "Hi little dhampir. Are you and Belikov doing okay?"
I pretended to think, "If okay means that I'm sleeping in the guest room and he's sleeping in the masters bedroom and that he doesn't even trust me enough to tell me what's been killing him inside then I guess we're okay." I said, crying again.
"Oh, little dhampir." Adrian said, wrapping his arms around me, and letting me soak his shirt wet with my tears.
I finally stopped crying and I apologized for breaking down and messing his shirt.
"You know I'm always here for you, it's okay." He said, "And as for this shirt, this is a dream so it doesn't matter." He tapped the collar of his shirt and it instantly dried up. "Not that it would matter if this was real life, anyway."
"What do you mean when you said that he didn't even trust you to tell you things?" He asked as we sat down on one of the benches.
"He's still haunted by the things he did when he was strigoi and going to this mission might ease some of his guilt. He didn't even tell me that he is still thinking about this. And he didn't tell me that he has been considering going to the mission the night before we went to the meeting. He has been hiding so much from me that I'm wondering if he ever told me anything at all."
"I don't know what to tell you, little dhampir. But I think that you should talk to him about this. Tell him how you feel because if you don't, then you are doing exactly what he did to you that is the reason of your pain right now." He said as he rubbed my arm in a comforting way.
"Yeah, maybe tomorrow." I said, "So how are you and Amanda?"
"Well, I was shocked about her decision as well but it's really her decision. I mean, she's just my girlfriend. I told her how I feel about it and she understands but she is really determined to do this so I'm coming with her." He said.
"What? You too? No!" I said, "What would you do? No offense but what can spirit do?"
"I won't go inside the warehouse. I'll just stay outside and wait for them and maybe heal the worst cases after. And if something happens to Amanda, then I can heal her. It's the best compromise we could make." He said. An idea popped into my head and he saw it in my face, "Don't even think about coming with us, Rose." Whoa, he called me Rose, he only did that when he is serious.
"And why not? Who are you to stop me?" I said.
"Seriously. Don't. It's too dangerous."
"Adrian Ivashkov, I am a fully trained guardian who graduated the top of my class. I can take care of myself way better than you could take care of yours."
He chuckled, "I have no doubt of you skills, little dhampir. But do you think you can protect yourself and your baby while you're in this state?" I know the state he's referring to is me being as big as a building but of course, he wouldn't say it like that.
He has a point that I didn't consider. No one would ever allow a 6-month pregnant woman, no matter how skilled she is. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Of course I am." He hugged me. "Now, I have to go so I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
I hugged him back, "Okay. Goodnight, Adrian."
"Goodnight, little dhampir." and with that, my dreams in the garden went black.
The next morning, I woke up with a huge headache. Probably from the crying last night and without looking in the mirror, I know that I look like hell. I decided to follow Adrian's advice last night and talk with Dimitri. Huh, who ever guessed that I would take relationship advice from Adrian? Probably no one. But again, no one would probably guess that I would be married and be pregnant at such a young age or ever at all.
I decided to take a shower first before facing Dimitri seeing as I went straight to bed after the meeting from the council last night. I opened the door to the guestroom to go to our bathroom in our master bedroom and I was surprised by the sight in front of me.
Dimitri is asleep on the floor in front of the guestroom I slept in last night. He must have been waiting for me to cave and join him but I was too tired.
I shook him a little, "Hey comrade. You might want to move to our bed, it's more comfortable there."
His eyes fluttered open and before I could blink, he had me wrapped in his arms and he's apologizing nonstop. "I'm sorry, Roza. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to cause you any pain and I didn't mean to hide things from you. I just didn't want to burden you with what I'm feeling as you're already carrying our child. I didn't want you to think of anything else. I'm really sorry."
I shushed him and I rested my head on his chest. We're both still on the floor, by the way. "No, I'm sorry because I over-reacted on the situation. I was just hurt because you hid so much from me and I didn't know if you still trusted me to tell me anything at all. I understand why you did it and I'm really sorry." I said, tears falling down again. What the hell is with me and tears these past few days. I blame it on the hormones.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Roza. It's my fault. You are my wife and I never should have hidden anything from you. We promised to not keep anything from each other and I broke that. I promise I won't do it again, Roza. It's hurts me so much just knowing that you're mad at me. And even more so, not sleeping at the same bed as you."
"You're forgiven." I kissed his cheek. "Let's not do this again, shall we? I hate fighting with you."
He chuckled, "Me too." he kissed my forehead.
"So, for now, I'll take a shower first then we can go see how Lissa and Christian are doing and maybe have breakfast with them before we go to work."
"Sounds like a plan." He said, standing up and helping me stand up.
I started walking to our bathroom when I looked back at him still standing in the hall, looking at me. "What? You'll let me shower alone? After we just had a big fight? I'm offended, Comrade."
"No, I won't. I'll join you, of course. I was just enjoying the view." He was referring to my behind and his face showed lust.
I scoffed, "There isn't anything to enjoy. I'm so big that I can barely see my feet. I'm hideous."
In a few short steps, he's right in front of me, cupping my face. "You'll always be beautiful in my eyes, Roza."
My face broke into a grin then we went to have the most amazing shower ever. We didn't make love, Dimitri doesn't want to, he thinks it will hurt the baby somehow. After taking a bath, we got dressed for the day and headed over to Lissa's and Christian's.
We saw them sitting at their table, quietly eating breakfast.
"Hey, guys!" I said, cheerfully.
Christian gave me a small smile and Lissa looked at me, "Oh good, you're here. Come on, let's go to the office." She started standing up and Christian sighed. Good God! Everybody fought except Adrian and Amanda. Hmm, it's either they are just really understanding and is ready to make compromises or they are the the most mature ones in a relationship. Nope, definitely not the latter.
"Well, good morning to you too, your highness." I said sarcastically. "I haven't eaten yet, and you know how cranky a pregnant woman can get when there isn't anything in her stomach."
Even at Christian's sad state, he still managed to make fun of me, "Or just Rose Hathaway, minus the pregnant belly, is cranky without anything in her stomach."
"Shut it, fireboy!" I said harshly but winked at him. He just stuck his tongue at me.
"Fine then. We'll go to the cafe and you can have breakfast there." Lissa said, clearly avoiding anymore time being spent with Christian.
I sighed. I knew I'm the one who has to fix this. "No, Liss. There's a perfectly good breakfast here and it's more homey here. Come on, I won't take long." I took a 2 plates and handed one to Dimitri who has been quiet the whole time. He knows what Christian is feeling right now, hell he was feeling the same thing last night.
"Fine. I'll go to the living room to watch TV and I'll wait for you there." Lissa excused herself. Christian just stared at her while she left and I couldn't take it.
"What are you doing just staring? Go after her and talk it out!" I ordered him.
"She won't talk to me, Rose. I tried a lot of times." He said, exasperated.
"Apparently not enough times because if you did, then you'll be alright by now. Go ahead, Dimitri and I will stay here and wait for you to get your issues fixed." He still remained seated so I yelled and slapped him at the back of his head, "Go!"
He finally stood up and went after Lissa.
Dimitri and I ate their breakfast and just then, I felt a sharp pain on my stomach. "Ouch!" I said, hugging my belly.
Dimitri was beside me in a flash, "What's wrong, Roza?"
I couldn't answer. I just kept on taking deep breaths to calm me down, but it isn't working. My stomach is in deep pain and I don't know what's happening. Suddenly, I felt a warm liquid go down my legs and I touched to see what it was and saw red.
The last thing I saw was Dimitri's panicked face, calling for Lissa and Christian before I blacked out.
What's wrong with Rose's baby now?
I hope I get more reviews for this one.
You know I don't really feel like in the creative mood if I get only 2 or 3.
On the last chapter, I got 3,
Now look at this chapter, it's not very good.
So please review.
-jo.
