Hi, my names Harms-

-Hi harms-

-And I don't own D.gray-man!

horrified gasps

--

You know what I hate?

I hate Ink. And books. And pens.

But most of all I hate myself.

Oh sure, I act all nice and cheerful and happy, and really, that's truly me most of the time, but sometimes…Sometimes I just….Ugh….

I love my friends, really, I do, more then anything.

Allen, because he's caring and nice,

Lenalee, for her strong will and sweet personality, (and I'd be lying if I didn't say I thought she was pretty too, but then Allen would get pretty upset.)

And Yu, cos even though he tries to hide it he's a good person deep down. Plus, he's fun to tease. Heh.

But I'm forced to turn them all into Ink, and everytime I open a notebook, everytime I write their names down, everytime I record them, my heart feels like it's dying.

I felt the same in Roads dream world, only there, it actually did die.

I remember the first time I lost someone close to me.

It was Allen.

I wanted to cry so bad, but I couldn't.

Then I saw him again, and for a second I thought I was hallucinating, and I wanted to cry some more. I was happy, and Panda almost caught me out.

Then, Yu died.

And Krory.

I wanted to scream, to break down, but I couldn't. I didn't know how to feel.

Road took advantage of that, and I almost killed the remainder of the people closest to me.

So, that's when I realized, I was no Bookman.

I tried to take my own life, to protect them. That's, like, number one I the "Bookmen do not-" list.

When Panda found me and asked me to join, I accepted.

I thought I could stay away from people, I thought I could remain indifferent and bias, only fighting with the church to keep the world alive, cos, you know, no world, no history to record.

But then I found my innocence, met Yu and Komui and Lenalee and Allen and the members of the science department, and things started to fall apart.

But at the same time, it felt like things were coming together.

Panda thinks I only act like a friend to get close to the history-makers, and at first that was true, but then, after a while, my smile became real.

I don't want to have my life dictated by a set of stupid rules that don't make sense.

I'm not a real Bookman, I just look like one…..A very handsome one, if I might add.

Sorry Panda, but I have a heart, no matter how many times you kick me in the head.

--

'Allen, are you alright?'

Allen looked up, tears running down his cheeks. Lavi looked back concernedly.

'Oh!' Allen hastily wiped his face, 'Um, yeah, I just…Um….'

'It's ok,' Lavi smiled, patting him on the head. 'You don't have to tell me…Now cheer up, Kay? Frowning will give you wrinkles, and you'll have a face to match that hair of yours."

Allen chuckled and smiled brightly. Lavi grinned back. This was what life should be about; making other people happy, not turning them to ink on pages.

--

Well? Reveiw!

Hope you thought it captured Lavi well.