Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario Vampire
Ha! I really, really appreciated the reviews from last time, thanks for that. Though, many people have asked and wondered about the pairings of this little story of mine…I really have no idea what to say. I don't think counts as a harem, but I'll say that there will be a just a few girls somewhat interested in Naruto…not, you know…falling madly in love with him. Remember, this is my first fanfiction, so don't expect high things outta me. And there was that one that Inner Moka said in the last chapter; about having different hearts, souls, and stuff. Those words were from the first chapter from the second series. Don't get too hopeful now.
Oh…and there is no YAOI whatsoever. Sorry girls and guys into such things, I wouldn't be able to pull it off even if I tried.
Thank you for your time.
Eh.
--
--
--
There were no doors, no windows within the room Naruto sat in; it was a large white room containing nothing but a wooden table and him. He made no effort to wonder how he entered a room without doors or any other sort of opening, in fact, he wasn't thinking at all. His mind was completely still. Pushing himself off the ground, he stood up and made his way towards the table. The sound of his sandaled feet hitting the floor echoed throughout the hollow room.
He abruptly stopped and watched as an instant ramen cup appeared, accompanied with a pair of wooden chopsticks. The blond didn't question how the cup appeared or why it did so. Rolling up his black sleeves, he felt a drop of saliva fall on to the floor below. Ah, he was drooling, not that it really mattered to him. Naruto slowly ripped the plastic top off to reveal a hot, beautiful batch of instant ramen. He took a deep breath, inhaling the steam. It was miso, his favorite flavor. Capturing a bundle of noodles with his chopsticks, he closed his eyes as it came into his open mouth.
His eyes flashed open with bewilderment. There was nothing but wood in his mouth. Naruto frantically grabbed the cup and peered inside.
It was empty.
--
His eyes opened.
"GUWAH!" Naruto shouted; bolting up into a sitting position on his futon as cold sweat covered his naked skin.
"Anything wrong, Naruto?"
"Naw, justa nightmare..." he replied with a yawn, turning to his female companion. "It's weird, 'cause it's, like, the fifteenth time I've had that dream. Maybe it's because I didn't eat anything last night."
"You think so?"
"I guess…"
"Interesting."
"Yeah…" Naruto trailed off, blinking, waiting for recognition to sink in. "Nekonome-sensei…?"
The upper locks of her blond hair twitched. "Yes?"
"How did you…?" She pointed to the door behind her. "Ah?"
"You left the door open, so I waltzed in here waiting for you to wake up!"
"Ah."
"You didn't show up at the bus stop, so I came to check up on you!"
"Eh?"
"The field trip, remember? I told you yesterday before you disappeared!"
"Oh."
There was a long and uncomfortable silence between the two, more like it was uncomfortable for Naruto; Nekonome-sensei looked as if she didn't mind it at all. She sat there and he sat there, both waiting for each other to speak up. The younger blond coughed expectantly at the woman.
"Mew?"
"Could you…get out for a sec?"
"Why, of course," she said as she stood up and made her way towards the exit, leaving Naruto to himself.
He hugged his arms and began to shiver.
--
"I still don't understand why I hafta wear this ugly thing," Naruto grumbled as he played with the cloth around his neck. "It's uncomfortable, horrid and…and ugly! This stupid tie won--" He was startled as he felt hands around his collar. Nekonome-sensei stopped in her tracks, correcting the red tie. She finished with a smile and shut eyes, giving him a light pat on the head. "T-Thanks…?"
"If you practice more often you'll have no trouble with it later on," she declared, pulling him towards the large crowd of students by the ear. Nekonome raised an arm, waving to them all. "Good morning, my beloved students!"
"Good morning, Nekonome-sensei," they greeted back in synch. Many of them snickered at the sight of their teacher and the blond boy before receiving a fiery glare.
"Under odd circumstances this young man arrived to the academy earlier than expected, so for the day he'll be joining class 2-1's special training!" the cat woman said with excitement. "Please treat him with respect as you do with your other classmates!"
Training? She brought me out here for 'training'?
She gave Naruto a slight push forward, "Go on, go on, Naruto! Introduce yourself!"
Naruto stepped forward with a sour expression, his eyes trailing over the students who studied him warily. He spotted the short-haired girl he rescued yesterday waving at him enthusiastically. He put on a sheepish smile while adjusting his red headband.
"Name's Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meetcha!"
In the back, young Yukari tugged on Tsukune's sleeve, pointing at the blond excitedly.
"See? See?! That's him, Tsukune! He's the blond guy who rescued me yesterday!" She looked up at the brunet's face curiously. "Are you sure you didn't see him?"
Tsukune turned to Moka, Kurumu and Mizore who all shared the dumbfounded face he did. He looked back at the young witch, "None of us saw him, Yukari. Are you sure it's him?"
Yukari nodded. "I'm positive!"
Before continuing, the class turned to the incoming bus; none of them noticed the grim look on the new blonde's face.
B-Bus man…!
--
"You brought us all out here for a silly 'fruit hunt'?" Naruto moaned as he massaged his face, Nekonome-sensei had been playing with his cheeks through the entire trip; not only that, she'd claw at him if he put up any resistance. If it wasn't for the Kyuubi's healing, he would've bled to death by now.
The trip had brought the entire class to a sort of swamp-like area, stretching towards dark, ominous woods. Not a good sign to the blond youth.
The dark-haired boy next to him wore the same look of dismal.
"I thought we came out here for special training Nekonome-sensei," the boy said nervously with a risen hand, "What's this about fruit all of a sudden?!"
Nekonome-sensei turned to the two with the same ditsy expression.
"Ah, but it is training!"
"I don't understand…"
"First off; it's strawberry and grape season here in the forest, attracting many birds and other small critters!" She pulled out an unusually large butcher knife before continuing, "Because of that, the carnivorous plants and such have been eating quite well; it's the perfect time for us to gather nature's blessings!" She pulled out a spiky creature with multiple mouths and multiple slimy tongues.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! Naruto 'screamed' in his head. Thoughts of the girl he leered at yesterday came back to him; he trembled.
Many of the students gasped in awe at the thing.
"It's a monster durian!"
"That is not a fruit."
"So, so tasty!"
"That thing's MOVING! IT'S MOVING!"
"Awesome!"
"It's SMILING!"
"Interestingly enough, they're so rare to find that only a few get harvested each year!" Nekonome slammed the knife into the fruit; giving it a painful and bloody death. Licking the durian's blood off her hand, much like a cat, she continued, "You all are going off to find more of these or any other yummy fruit you come across!"
Naruto gagged as the smell that came across his nose. The fruit reeked of foul blood, just a thousand times worse. He watched in sick fascination as many of the other students grew with excitement. The blonde shrugged and put his hand in the air.
"So how's this all gonna work out, sensei? Are you just gonna toss us out in the forest, expecting us to gettcha some food?" He paused to regain his thoughts. "Does this even count as a grade?"
Many of the other students looked at him then back at Nekonome.
"Ah-ha, thank you for reminding me, Naruto!" Naruto glowered. "It won't necessarily count for a grade; it's more like a…a fun, little activity for us all!"
The forest is dangerous! She thinks it's fun?! I could get eaten…again! Naruto thought in anguish.
"Everyone, because it is dangerous alone so get into groups, no less the four; and if any of you are afraid of getting lost, you can stay! Understand?" Many of them nodded in response. "Good! Happy hunting!"
Naruto watched as many of the other students gathered into little groups and headed into the depths of the forest. He yawned tiredly; he had no intention of reliving the Forest of Death…or yesterday.
Goddamn bushes.
He reckoned if he stayed put, nothing would happen-
"Naruto! Are you going to stay here too?" He turned to see a curious Nekonome-sensei. "The bus driver and I were about to go fishing, would you like to join us?"
"Goodbye, sensei."
"Eh?"
He left before she could stop him from walking towards the remaining students.
Now, now…who do I join?
"Mr. Uzumaki!" Naruto turned just in time to see the young witch, Yukari, stop in front of him.
Jackpot!
"Eh? Yu…kari…yeah. Yeah! It's Yukari, right?" She smiled brightly as he remembered her name.
"And your name is Mr. Uzumaki?" Naruto nodded.
"Oy, oy! You don't hafta be so formal now, just call me Naruto!" he finished with his trademark grin. He crouched down to her level before continuing, "So whatcha need, Yukari?"
"I was just wondering if you'd…" She hesitated, looking down towards the ground where her left foot was scrubbing. Naruto chuckled at how adorable the girl looked now; though, if he made a comment she'd probably chew him out. "…Come and join our group!"
"Eh, sure, why not?" Naruto shrugged; it would save him the trouble of looking. The little girl shot him a wicked smile in return; he began to regret his decision. Entangling her fingers with Naruto's, she dragged him with questionable might. "S-So, Yukari, where's your group? Is it that one?" He pointed to a group of semi-normal looking girls on the side.
"Nope, my friends are over there!" Naruto's blue eyes followed her slim finger to…he gawked in astonishment.
Whoa…!
The blond saw a group consisting of three extremely beautiful girls and a lone male, the same who objected the thought of fruit hunting. With a sudden thought, he recognized two of the girls from yesterday along with the boy.
The shortest of the group was a girl with blue hair, like that cotton candy. Naruto liked cotton candy. Her eyes were a glistening purple and carried a simple and mischievous look as she talked to the brunet boy. She sported a yellow sweater that hugged her figure nicely.
The taller girl he recognized had short violet hair had a cute but sharp look to it. She wore a stylish blouse that had long sleeves above her school skirt and a pair striped stockings. Turning to from the boy to him, Naruto was caught by her blue eyes. He felt a sudden chill as they regarded him, it was a pleasant chill though; somewhat like eating a snow cone on a hot day.
Lastly, there was one girl in particular he did not recognize. She had long, silky pink hair that he sadly admitted was better than Sakura's own. Her skin was pale and complimented her glimmering emerald eyes. All in all, Naruto found her beautiful.
In fact, they were all beautiful. So beautiful he made it an S-Class propriety to learn their names.
Though, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to the silver-haired beauty that almost decked him with a single stone the day before. What ever happened to her, he may not know, but three cute girls were enough to replace one.
He could care less about the boy; Uzumaki Naruto just didn't roll like that.
"T-Those are your friends? Those three hawt chicks?!" Yukari nodded. "Wow, Yukari! I'm pretty jealous of you right now…"
"You should be! One of them is my lover!"
Before he could question the little girl, Naruto found himself the center of attention. Putting up a grin, he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment as Yukari continued to hold his hand. This action didn't go unnoticed. The blue haired girl spoke up first.
"Lose your interest in Tsukune that fast, Yukari?" she said with haughty tone. "Clinging to every guy who goes out his way to save you isn't very healthy."
"Well, at least I don't go around throwing my breasts out in people's faces!" Yukari retorted as she hid behind Naruto.
"What breasts? You're flat as an ironing board!"
"BLUE-HAIRED COW!"
"PERVERTED MIDGET!"
A pathetic and bloody cat fight would've started if only the brown haired male didn't step in with an outstretched hand.
"U-Uzumaki Naruto was it?" he said, trying to gain everyone's attention. "Yukari did say something about a blonde guy saving her yesterday; it was you, wasn't it?"
"Um…yeah. Yeah, it's Naruto," the whiskered teen replied nervously, he grabbed the boy's hand and shook it lightly. "Nice ta meetcha…"
"Tsukune! It's Aono Tsukune, Naruto. Thanks for taking care of Yukari, we really appreciate it."
The purple haired girl coughed and the blue haired girl rolled her eyes.
Tsukune…where have I heard that name…?
"You have to forgive our friends here, Naruto-san, they get…bitter easily," the pink girl said with an apologetic smile. "My name's Moka by the way."
Moka~! What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame!
Naruto gave a bashful grin, laughing stupidly. "It's okay! My friends back home are the same way!"
Moka and Tsukune laughed nervously along having no idea why he was laughing in the first place.
"Well…um…that's Mizore," Tsukune introduced, pointed to the purple-haired beauty who looked back at Naruto with a cool gaze.
"Nice to meet you," she said.
Mizore~! What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame!
"And that's Kurumu," Tsukune said, pointing to the blue-haired girl shooting glares at the witch girl.
Kurumu~! What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame…and awesome rack!
"Tsukune-kuuuuuuuuuuuun! Why did you introduce me last?" she whined childishly, pushing her chest onto Tsukune's flesh. The boy turned red and began to ramble incoherently, starting a fight between the girls.
Lucky bastard…
Naruto watched, intrigued as the many females began to battle among themselves, playing tug-o'-war with the hapless Tsukune, before a loud, menacing growl stopped them. They turned to Naruto who blushed brightly as he held his stomach.
"Could we…start this fruit hunt thing, now? I'm getting pretty hungry."
"Obviously," Mizore stated with a deadpan tone.
--
As he walked through the forest with his new acquaintances, Naruto found himself quick friends with the older boy, Tsukune. An ordinary, polite guy he was, decided the blond. The only thing about Tsukune that irked Naruto was the fact he had a real, live harem… A HAREM, an actual HAREM, just how cool was that!? Just as comics and cartoons back home portrayed; a shy guy having the ability to make drop-dead beautiful woman instantly falling in love with him. Naruto's hopes of obtaining Jiraiya's goal in life began to wane a bit, all the sudden cat fights and other jealous males would give him no peace; the only good part was the beautiful woman, it seemed. The thought of dieing from chronic nosebleeds seemed more realistic now.
"Naruto, I remember Nekonome-sensei saying that you arrived to the academy early, does that mean you're a first year?" Tsukune asked the blonde beside him. Naruto shrugged.
"I guess so, does it really matter?" he murmured as Yukari continued to hold his arm.
"You're only a first year?!" She began to cackle. "That makes you my underclassman, Naruto-kohai!"
Naruto made a face. He didn't really care about this school he was in or how it ran, but he knew when an insult was made.
"I ain't gonna call you 'Yukari-sempai' if that's what you're hoping." He looked back at her with a light-hearted glare. "And besides…what are you…? Like, six or something?"
A raging gravestone landed on the blond.
"I'm TWELVE YEARS OLD!"
"Ehh…doesn't really matter to me," he grumbled, shaking off the blood and rubble from his head. He tuned the furious girl's rant out, listening to the three other women and their conversation.
"Don't think this contest is over just because that new guy decided to join us, Moka. The battle will never be over till I win!" Kurumu declared with boosting confidence.
"Don't get too confident, Kurumu! I'm going to get the durian first!" Moka said back.
"You both should watch your backs, Moka, Kurumu," Mizore muttered, slipping her lollipop out of her mouth. "If anyone is going to win this contest, it's me."
"Contest?" Naruto questioned, the three turned to him. "What contest? Can I join?"
Tsukune looked mortified, not that anyone could blame him.
"Uh… You r-really shouldn't N-Naruto," Moka stuttered with sweat on her brow. Naruto continued his look of ignorance.
"Eh?"
"Of course you can't join!" Kurumu continued for Moka. "I don't care whatever your sexuality is you—"
"What the hell does my sexuality hafta do with anything?" A thought popped in his head. "Oh… Oh! You girls wouldn't be…you know…?"
An icicle found itself wedge into the blond's skull.
"We aren't. You on the other hand…we have no idea." Mizore slipped her hands back into her long sleeves.
"I still don't understand," Naruto said, pulling out the ice, unfazed as red liquid continued to trail down his face.
"Naruto-kohai, I think you should join in our little contest!" Yukari cheered, pulling on the blonde's arm. She turned to Moka and Tsukune. "Just think about it, Tsukune, Moka! Another handsome male…he'd even out…" She trailed off blushing and drooling. Naruto gulped, he knew that expression quite well.
"You're a pervy little girl, aren't cha?" A tree branch hit his head. "That's really starting to bug me."
"Coming from a pervy guy like you, it seems pretty ironic." Kurumu said with a strained expression.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto growled out. The blue-haired beauty stopped in her tracks and glared at him.
"That goofy, care-free smile; those closed eyes…that red headband!" Kurumu looked back at her friends then Naruto. "He may not have the same Osaka accent, but he still talks like a yankee! He's a blonde Gin-sempai!"
A short temper and a loud mouth…what a bad combination; though, her short height does compliment the size of her breasts.
"Pervert's probably thinking of my breasts right now!"
"Am not!" he gawked.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too, and you know it!" Kurumu finished, crossing her arms ove-…under her chest. Naruto snorted.
"Tch! As if. My gramma has bigger and firmer breasts; and they don't sag half as much as yours do!" he declared, proudly puffing up, feeling as if he won the battle.
"G-Grandma?!!" she screamed out, grinding her teeth as a dark purple aura surrounded her, Kurumu drew back her sharpened nails. "Y…You!!"
"C-C-Claws…?!"
The sound of slicing flesh rang throughout the forest. Kurumu didn't hesitate as she began moving forward, leaving a bleeding Naruto rolling on the ground.
--
"You really shouldn't have said that, Naruto," Tsukune said, wincing.
"Ya think? O-ow!" Naruto complained for the tenth time. He really, really did not expect the girl to have the ability to grow her nails…and sharpen them. His face may have quickly regenerated, but the pain was still fresh. "It's hurts to talk…"
"Then stop talking," Kurumu snapped; the blond shut his mouth, glaring at the busty girl.
"Don't worry, Naruto-kohai! She's mean to everyone," Yukari said sympathetically before she was too silenced with a death-promising glare.
Discouraged by the lack of monster fruit the group came to a stop, resting underneath a bushel of trees. The whiskered youth played with the single lock of hair between his eyes as he chuckled at the comical scene of the four girls fighting over whom would sit beside Tsukune. He just knew the perverted sage would KILL for an experience like this.
"We've been walking through the forest for so long now and we haven't seen a durian once!" Moka sighed. "At this rate no one is going to win the contest!"
Tsukune brightened up significantly.
"It doesn't shouldn't really matter, that monster durian thing didn't look so good anyway! I mean, just look around; there's grapes and apples, don't you want to eat that, instead?" Tsukune practically sang. All the girls shook their heads in synch.
"Eating monster durian…with Tsukune is all I want," Mizore softly announced with a blush. The other girls turned bright pink at the thought. Naruto gagged.
"That was no fruit! That was fu—"
"Naruto! There's a child here!" Moka warned with a look.
"—ckin' animal! It was BLEEDING and MOVING!"
"That's the best part of it," Mizore uttered with a suspicious look. "You can kill it, eat it and feel no remorse."
"I don't understand any of you," Naruto fussed as he reached up towards the tree's branches and grabbing a single ripe apple. He studied it before tossing into a tree, smashing into pieces. "Bad apple," he grunted out.
"What was wrong with it?" Moka asked.
"It had teeth and eyes."
"Ah."
--
"You know…" Mizore said; lowering her voice so only her friends could hear. "Doesn't that Naruto guy just make you wonder what kind of monster he is?"
Beside her, Kurumu huffed.
"Should it matter? He's blond, a pervert, and wears a red headband, what's there to wonder about?"
"He has whiskers," Mizore said, looking back the blond ignoring them as he began picking at an unfortunate demonic apple in the eye.
"So? Lots of people at school have whiskers," reasoned the succubus. "He's probably a monster cat, you know…a bakeneko!"
"Nekonome-sensei did look quite friendly with him," agreed Moka. "And she's a sort of cat creature."
"But don't you remember? He didn't like the durian; in fact, he was terrified of it!" Yukari disputed. "Sensei ate it whole when she disbanded us!"
"Maybe he likes fish, not fruit?"
"Sensei ate the fruit, and she LOVES fish!"
"A catfish demon, maybe?"
"No…he'd have big, fishy lips."
"Maybe…maybe he's not a cat! He saved Yukari at night, right?" The group nodded at Moka. "He's probably an okuri-inu! You know; the dog-like creatures that follow people at night!"
"He…he also ran towards the light that signals Moka-san's vampire transformation!" Yukari said, propping up.
"He did?!" Moka gasped.
"Yeah, but he said he got lost in the forest and was attacked by bushes."
"Oh."
"I still don't think he's a dog or a cat," Mizore spoke with a determined tone. "His name…Uzumaki Naruto, whirlpool and maelstrom are both related to water."
"So, what do you think he is, Mizore?" Kurumu pressed on with an impatient tone.
"He… He must be some sort of otter! The infamous albino kusa-uso!"
Tsukune paid no attention to the girls and their further ranting on how being blond did or did not count as indication of albinism; instead, he watched as Naruto smashed his face in to the rough bark of his apple tree.
--
A-A 'supernatural albino river otter', the hell?! Naruto thought as he pulled his head back from the tree. What's the hell's an 'albino'?
There were only a few times when Naruto had ever felt so utterly embarrassed. The girl's discussion had proven funny at first, a bit discouraging after being called a monster…but then heartbreaking. No one had ever compared him to such creatures ever before; regular people would say he had a foxy sort of face, not that of a catfish! No, no, it just couldn't be a group of senile old ladies bickering at one another; it had to be three hot chicks and a child. It was pure humiliation.
He slammed his head into the wood once more with such intense ferocity; it caused the entire tree to shake. Dozens of evil apples fell off, many of which that hit the hapless blond. He looked down as an angered apple began biting his shoe in a futile attempt to kill him. Deadpanned, Naruto kicked the tree with his apple connected foot, killing it in the process. Bringing his foot back, Naruto heard rustling up above in the tree. Just as he looked up a spiky objected met his face.
"Ow," Naruto moaned. He removed it and held it within his two hands. A monster durian it was. Opening one of its many mouths, it coughed; Naruto smelled its horribly rancid breath. "NASTEH!" he shrieked, throwing hastily it over his head.
His ears met a light gasp. Turning around he saw a surprised and pleased Moka jumped up with the durian in hand.
"I've got the monster durian!!" she squealed in delight. "I won, I won!!"
"YOU IDIOT! Why the hell didn't you throw it to me?!" Kurumu cried as she trapped Naruto in an arm-lock, enabling Mizore to punch his defenseless stomach with her ice covered fists. "Why, why, why, WHY, WHY?!!"
"It was-GURK-on accident!" Naruto cried as blood shot out of mouth.
"W-Wait! What's it d-d-doing?!" Moka asked as she felt its slimy tongues wrap around her body. "It's getting into my unifo—"
There was abnormally high-pitched scream.
Naruto watched in horror as Moka fell to the ground unconscious, dropping the durian. Just as he processed what he had just witnessed, instinctively, he fell back as blood shot out of his nose.
T-Tentacle rape…
He fainted.
--
"Naruto-kohai! Naruto-kohai! Wake up!" Yukari ushered as she shook the stirring blonde. His eyelids flickered before revealing all of his sky blue pupils. Grabbing Yukari's hand, he lifted himself off of his back and onto his feet.
"What's happened?" he asked, noting the frantic expression on the young girl's face. He looked around, purposely avoiding Moka's face. "Where're Tsukune and Kurumu?"
"Kurumu went after the monster durian with Tsukune in hand!" Moka said, worried. Naruto shrugged, probably a harem girl thing.
"So? What's so wrong about that?"
"Kurumu. Tsukune. Dangerous forest. Alone," Mizore spelled out for him, slowly. The blonde made a face.
"I ain't stupid!" Naruto shot back.
"You threw the durian to Moka and in my book, that's sort of stupid," Mizore grumbled, giving Naruto a skeptical look. He huffed; it was totally a harem girl thing.
"It ain't like that thing was harmless! It fucking coughed on m—!"
"That's it! 'Harmless'! It isn't harmless at all!" Yukari screamed, surprising the others.
Moka turned to the girl with a confused expression.
"What exactly do you mean, Yukari?" she asked.
"The meat-eating monster durian! It's entirely dangerous! We have to go after them! Tsukune and Kurumu are in danger!"
"Why in the world would Nekonome-sensei send us out fruit hunting for something as dangerous as this?" Mizore wondered as a disturbed thought came to her. "You don't think she knew this all along do you?"
"That doesn't matter now, only things important are Tsukune and Kurumu!" Yukari declared waving her wand high in the air.
As if set off by some sort of signal, Naruto slipped his right arm over Moka's waist and his other over Mizore's. Much to their, including his, embarrassment, he fell on to one knee, dragging them both down. Despite how awesomely soft and slim they were, Naruto knew this was no time for games. He gave Yukari a serious look hoping his dopey grin was no where in sight.
"H-hey!"
"Hand's OFF!"
"C'mon, c'mon, Yukari! The faster we find 'em, the better!" The girl nodded and wrapped her arms around the blonde\'s neck. Rising up, he raced off in hope of finding the boy and his busty companion.
"Wrong way! Wrong way!"
"Kurumu ran off the other way!"
"Oops."
Mizore slapped her forehead in exasperation, at this rate they'd never get to Tsukune in time.
--
"There! I can see 'em!" Naruto grunted as he came to a stop, dropping the girls in an unintentionally rude way; there was no way he could think strait while being so close to such cute girls. He watched as Kurumu conversed with Tsukune with the monster durian in hand, a wicked smile began to grow on its prickly surface.
"—that's why I didn't want everyone else here… So it'd just be me and Tsukune eating together," she finished with a genuine blush. It would've been a tear-jerking moment if the ground didn't start to quake.
Naruto held back a gasp as dozens of large teeth emerged out of the ground, surrounding the blue-haired girl; he only had one shot at this! He jumped out, disappearing from the three females.
"N-Naruto?!" Yukari yelled as he vanished from plain view.
"KURUMU!" Tsukune screamed as the giant plant beast rose, quickly shutting its mouth. He yelped as a giant vine threw him off into one of the distant trees.
"Tsukune!" Moka raced up to the injured boy. "Are you hurt?!" Tsukune shook his head, wincing.
"Kurumu…! S-She's—"
"She's fine!" Mizore interrupted, pointing up towards the massive creature. "Look there!"
They looked up to see Naruto holding a shocked Kurumu in both his arms while performing a perfect split, restraining the creature's sharp teeth from ripping him in half. He gave the gaping beauty in his arms a strained smile.
"Dammit…" He swore. "I was one lousy second off…it's always that one second!" The blond sucked in desperate gulps of air, his legs buckled as the monster tightened its jaw. A large, rough substance wrapped around one of his legs and around his upper torso. He looked down. "TENTACLE RAPE!" he screeched in terror.
He tossed the blue haired girl out of his arms just as the monster's vine-like tongue pulled him inside its mouth. Kurumu landed roughly on the ground as her friends came rushing towards her.
"What was that?" the succubus said shaking. "Why would he just…?!"
"That's the monster durians true form!" Yukari called out, misinterpreting the girl. "It's what creates its bait, the actual fruit, to lure people into its trap, just as a deep sea anglerfish does with its light!"
"Naruto!" Tsukune bellowed. "Don't worry we'll ge—" He stopped as the plant began to expand and stretch out.
The plant fiend could only take so much…it exploded.
--
"Geeze…it's all getting too nostalgic!" The blonde pursed his lips, thrusting his fingers out in a familiar position.
--
The newspaper club could only gape as they saw a dozen copies of their new blonde friend; the shock was short lived for Mizore, she instantly remembered she could do the same technique. Though, it was pretty obvious Naruto wasn't a yuki-onna…or a woman at that.
Each Naruto posed extravagantly with the same cocky expression that screamed, 'totally not otter.' Sadly, the green goop from their recently killed enemy was sticking to their clothes, killing the badass image.
"W-Wow!" Tsukune chocked out. Yukari jumped up and down.
"Now! Now I know what Naruto-kohai is for sure!" Each Naruto puffed out their chest. Finally these idiots would acknowledge him for what he really was. "The way he moved so fast, the way he carried us all so easily, the way he made all those clones, and his bright yellow hair!"
What did my hair have to do with being a ninja?
"He's a monkey!" Mizore finished for the girl.
"Like Son Goku?" Tsukune asked.
"Yeah! Yeah!"
--
(The mindscape of Naruto, the Newspaper Club, and each of his clones)
A yellow fur-covered Naruto dressed in orange, ancient Chinese clothing smashed a golden rod in his opponent's face.
"Ha-hah! Take that, douche!"
The monk, the pig in armor, the large warrior, and the horse shook their heads as they stood out in the sidelines.
"Isn't that a bit much, Sun Wu Kong?" asked the monk.
"Fuck you, bitch!"
The monk sighed and bought his hands up in prayer. The monkey flinched.
--
Each clone died of embarrassment, leaving with only a puff of smoke. The original, however, fell to the ground crying. Through a broken heart and two raging waterfalls of tears, he blubbered out:
"I'M NOT A GODDAMN MONKEY!"
--
Naruto glared at the durian slice he was given, even if it resembled a melon from here it smelled horrible up close. He looked up to see Kurumu suddenly look back at her own slice, he ignored it with a mild shrug. The other girls just devoured their own pieces, causing him to shiver. Looking to his right, Naruto saw Tsukune close to tears as he studied the fruit.
"I hate vegetables!" Naruto shouted, slamming his plate on a table nearby. Yukari looked at him funny.
"…It's a fruit."
"I don't care!"
Moka covered her mouth with her slim hand as she giggled at them both. Naruto continued to frown with a stubborn look.
"I wasted so much energy in rescuing you guys for THIS?" He whined, motioning to the large box of rumbling durians. He pushed his lower lip out. "I won the contest fair and square and I didn't even get anything!"
"Who ever got the durian first would be able to eat the fruit alone with Tsukune, in a lovers' conversation," Mizore said, licking the blood of her lips.
"That's the stupidest…!" Naruto trailed off grumbling illogically. "I got so many of the damn things and nobody even thank—"
One of the students passed by interrupting his rant and gave Naruto a friendly slap on the back.
"Thanks fer getting all these monster durians for us, Uzumaki! They're awesome!"
Naruto became silent and lowered his shoulders.
"I hate school."
--
--
--
I liked this chapter. If you met someone who has never heard of NARUTO, preferably an old person, they'd say Naruto looks like a cat or something. More of a feline than a fox. You know it and I know it. Son Goku isn't a reference to Drangonball, it's leaning more onto the Journey to the West side, Son Goku is what the Japanese call Son Wukong, the Monkey King. Kudos to those who knew that…
