Hello every body, didn't you love my last chapter {devilish grin} I wasn't sure what to write, but hellsong gave me the perfect idea, so thank her. All right, I'll let you get on with the reading.

Chapter 4: Cold Realization

My eyes popped open and there was Severus staring at me as he sat up in bed. I was still in that little brown chair, and…my book was on the floor.

'Why were you saying my name?" he asked, and I groaned inwardly.

"Um..." I couldn't think of any kind of excuse to give him, and I absolutely could not tell him the truth!

" Bad dream," I mumbled, looking wildly around the room, trying to think of a way to leave. I got up and walked into Severus' bathroom, splashing cold water onto my pale face. What was the mater with me? Severus equaled friend, friend equaled Severus. How could I think of him as my lover? I wiped my hands on a coarse hand towel, and without a backward glance I went into the bedroom. My stomach growled and then it came to me, I would go to breakfast.

I looked at him sitting there, looking worn and tired, shadows under his eyes. I almost felt bad enough to stay with him, but I really needed to think about what my conscious was trying to tell me.

" Is there anything I can get you?" I timidly asked.

"No," he replied coldly and promptly. I took a step back. What had I done to make him so distant, though he usually was a distant person? He was not the one who had been plagued by sexual dreams the night before.

"Well then," I said slowly, " I am going to breakfast, okay?" I was itching to leave; I just wanted to get away.

"Fine," was all he said.

"Bye," I said hurriedly, racing out the door giving him a backward glance, hoping he would be fine, at least he looked better than the night before. I grabbed my Hogwarts robe from the coat stand, and slipped on my tennis shoes. I turned the doorknob and made a quick dash out of the room and through the black tapestry. Luckily no one was in the potions classroom, so I wouldn't have to explain anything, I had just been very stupid not to check. I peeked out the door, and then went into the hall, buttoning my robe as I went. I ran my hands through my unruly hair, trying to appear calmer that I was. Explanations ran through my mind as I tried to think up something to tell Harry and Ron, who I knew I would have to face sometime soon. Telling them a lie about where I had been on Saturday wasn't going to be easy.

I crossed the entry hall and went into the Great hall. I think I was late for breakfast because there was hardly anyone in the room. Yes, I was hungry, but as I sat down, nothing seemed to appeal to me. I nibbled at my sausage, and at my eggs, but it wasn't helping. I just felt sick. The thought of Severus' electric, passionate kisses made me flush, and his hands on my stomach made me um…flush even more. And what really scared me was that I liked it, bloody hell, I loved it. I knew I shouldn't be thinking this, but oh well, I couldn't stop. I banged my fork down on the side of my plate, and stood up, quickly exiting the room

While I walked to the Gryffindor common room, my thoughts wondered. I needed to share my confusion with someone other than Harry and Ron; I needed to have some advice from someone of my same sex. Before I knew it I was in front of the fat lady's portrait saying the password and climbing into the common room. Some people were playing games of wizards chest, and others doing homework, Sundays were never that busy.

I looked about for an empty chair and found one in the corner of the room. I sat in it, wanting to curl up into a dreamless sleep, that is till I saw Ginny coming in with her friends. I knew she might understand. I got up and walked over to where she was laughing with three other girls and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ginny, um… may I talk to you for a moment. Ginny nodded her head, and followed me over to the corner where I had been sitting. Luckily Harry and Ron were not in the room.

"What's up, you don't look well, is something the matter?" Ginny asked with a concerned smile on her face.

And suddenly I couldn't find the words to tell her about my relationship with Severus. She knew I sometimes went to his personal chambers, and that we were friends but that was really all we could be.

"Come on, Hermione, I know you want to tell me something, go ahead."

"You…you'll think I am disgusting," I stammered, now I didn't want to tell her.

"What," she said in a teasing voice, "have you been having dreams about Snape where you are sexually involved with him." My head shot up and I looked at her with wide eyes. Then Ginny's eyes grew wide also and she cried, "I was joking Hermione, I didn't know!" I looked back down trying to hid a bright red blush, how was I going to explain how scared, confused, and sexually aroused I was by that dream. How I didn't know if I wanted more than friendship between Severus Snape and me.

"Oh Ginny," I began, "I am so confused."





you know, I am not really good at head and foot notes to readers, that's why mine are so short. Sorry it took all day to get this up, but there will be more tomorrow or the next day. I promise. I am now going to see a movie, but I will be brain storming on the next chapter as I guzzle not soda and pop corn, j/k, I don't like pop corn, I uploaded some poems today too, so read those and review please

luv ya all

~Willow~*