At her hospital room, Alex woke up feeling lost – how much time had she been sleeping? She could tell by looking at the window that it was already dark outside. She turned around, scanning the room for Piper, who wasn't there, and neither was her purse. Only her own belongings were to be found on a bedside table.
She looked confused.
At the moment, the door was opened as the blonde let herself in, holding her laptop in her hands.
"What's up with that face? Did you think I would leave you alone just like that at a hospital room across the Atlantic?"
"Well, to be honest, it crossed my mind. Why not, right?"
"Jesus. I was just across the street at a coffee shop, not across the ocean. How are you feeling?" She asked, placing her laptop at a desk and sitting on a chair next to the brunette's bed.
"Better. Thank you for staying. Do you have any idea when they're going to release me? I feel fine, I could go to the hotel tonight."
"You're spending the night." Piper stated as Alex rolled her eyes in complaint. "The doctor told me he wants to keep you here for observation. He actually wanted to keep you for a few days because of your 'suicidal behavior'. He thought you attempted suicide but failed. I had to explain the whole situation and beg for you to be released tomorrow to be see a doctor back home. He said he wouldn't let you go if you were alone. Oh and you're going to have to see a psychologist first thing in the morning."
"Fuck that. I have a funeral across the ocean to plan."
"Yeah. So, about that, I called your aunt Lucy back in New Jersey."
"You did?"
"Yeah. I told her about what happened. She'll take care of everything until you get there and I also told her to call us if she needed anything."
"Wow. Thank you, Pipes. That means a lot. I hope she didn't get too worried, though."
"It's ok. I told her you were fine and promised that I'd take care of you."
"I won't complain if you do. But we still need to look for those tickets for tomorrow-"
"It's taken care of. We both leave at the Air France 3:15pm flight tomorrow. It was the best I could do."
"It's great. Thank you for taking care of me. Pipes, I swear, I was really mad at you, but I'm willing to leave all of this behind if you are too."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean... our fights. I want everything to work out this time for the two of us. And I promise we can make this work."
Piper was in complete silence, as she didn't know how to say it yet. Alex gazed at the blonde's heaven blue eyes... sensing a shade of guilt.
"Why are you so quiet? Wait," Alex was not stupid. She was putting the pieces together. "Isn't this why you came back to the hotel?"
"Al-"
"It isn't... is it? You didn't come back for me." Alex bit her lower lip, shedding a tear. She turned her head up to face the ceiling, took a long, deep breath and closed her eyes.
The look on Alex's face irradiated so much pain it was like a stab in Piper's heart. Seeing her like this automatically brought more tears to her eyes than she could control.
Alex turned her head back to her left to face the blonde.
"Shit, how could I have been so naive? Fuck me. Of course you didn't come back for me. You probably left something behind, like a fucking stupid piece of jewelry or something, right?"
"My mother's necklace is not stupid. It's... valuable. And it's hers. I couldn't just leave it there." That was all Piper managed to respond.
"Right. You know what, Piper? I'M valuable. I'm much more valuable than your mom's fucking necklace. Besides, I'm a fucking human being with feelings."
"I know. I know you are. But that does not change things. We had broken up, Alex. We are not magically back together now. We still have different priorities. I'm here for you as a friend. And I'm so, so sorry I hadn't stayed before. After what happened earlier, I had the chance to realize how much of an asshole I had been to you. And I'm trying really hard to make it up to you now, because I know you need a friend. I know you need me."
She finally turned her head back to her left to face the blonde.
"I don't need you. Not like this. Not out of pity." She shook her head, looking down.
"No, I really want to stay. Seriously. Alex, I love you. Right now I wish I didn't, but I do. I care about you. I wanna stay by your side through all this." She said, reaching for the brunette's hand. "Please forgive me for walking out on you like that. I shouldn't have." Piper knew she had to open a hundred percent of her heart if she expected Alex to ever forgive her, so she did. She already knew she was the strongest one in that room at that moment. She had to show her vulnerable, weak side to Alex by taking one step down. And she meant every single word.
Alex shook a little at the sound of a declaration she thought she'd never hear again. She sensed honesty, but she was still too upset for forgiveness. For now, she didn't have any more strength to fight, so she decided to just leave it like that. She could use a friend, after all.
"Are you going to sleep at the hotel?" she asked coyly, changing the subject.
"No." Piper answered, putting on a serious face, but already feeling a little lighter. "I'm staying here with you." She nodded in reassurance.
"No, you don't have to, Piper. That couch doesn't look very comfortable."
"Nah, it actually kind of is... I took a quick nap here earlier today, we're like best friends already!" She said, nervously tapping on the couch arm.
"Weirdo. I can see you have a pillow already."
"See? And it's goose feather, my favorite!" she said, caressing the pillow. "I'm all set. Don't you worry."
Alex laughed at her attempt to cheer her up. "God, I hate those. They give me agony."
A nurse knocked on the door then let herself in, announcing it was time for Alex's dinner.
"Hmm. Hospital food!" she looked at her plate and then back to the nurse, asking "This is dull. Can I get escargots instead?"
The nurse side-eyed her, clearly not amused.
"Pardon, my friend here isn't very polie." Piper said.
"I was just kidding. Merci!" Alex added.
The nurse shook her head in disapproval and left.
"Do you need help?"
"For what? To eat? No, and I hope not for the next sixty years at least. Thank you." She responded, making a face at the taste of the mashed potatoes. "This shit tastes as bad as it looks. But I'll give them some credit. France has slightly better hospital food than America. Though that was the least I expected."
"I can't be that bad."
"Taste this."
"Ugh. It tastes like nothing at all."
"Exactly. What's the fucking point?"
They realized they were both sharing a laugh and it felt so good.
"Have you eaten at all?"
"Yeah. At the coffee shop. Seriously, don't worry about me. You're the sick child."
"Ha-ha. You know, I don't think I've ever even allowed myself to feel sick. My mom always multiple jobs and after that I had to rely on myself to provide for the both of us." She felt a hole in her heart by pronouncing the words 'mom' and 'us', as she realized none of those existed any longer. But she was trying her best to block it. And somehow being so far away made it less hard, like it hasn't really happened. And somehow Piper managed to distracted her in more ways than one.
"It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies for you, was it?" Piper felt like pulling her in an embrace and telling her that everything was gonna be ok, but was it? She had her doubts when it came to Alex's lifestyle.
"I told you, if there was anything else I could do to finally provide a fairly decent life for me and my mom other than what I do, I would have done it. I would. But we were so fucking broke. I told myself it'd be temporary, but things got serious and I would never earn this much money doing anything else. I'm not qualified, Piper. Damn, I don't wanna talk about my mom. I'm expecting another waterfall of tears any time soon. But it doesn't feel too real just yet, you know? Am I a bad person?"
"No, of course not. That's just your way of dealing with your emotions right now." Piper rubbed Alex's arm. "So let's just not talk about her right now, ok? Plus, we've had too many fights over this, and you should rest. Hey, I have Notting Hill on my laptop, do you wanna watch it when you're finished?"
"No. No fucking way. Okay, Julia Roberts is hot, but we always watch it! Can't we watch Pretty Woman instead? Because I'm kind of craving escargots now."
"Well, it's not like you have anywhere else to go, so... it was actually more like a retorical question. And escargots are disgusting."
"Oh God. Alright, then, I guess. Let's just watch her question again what's so interesting about breasts. I mean, really? Come on, girl."
"What's with you and that scene?" Piper asked between laughs. "Geez. She's a straight girl, she doesn't get it. Let Anna Scott question."
"I'm gonna rewrite that scene and have them update that movie. À la Alex Vause."
They both shared a laugh again while Piper sat in the chair, covering herself a blanket. Alex couldn't help gazing at her beautiful blonde companion as they heard the song for opening credits, with so many lyrics that described her so well...
She may be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She
. That was the moment when Alex decided she was not ready to give up on them, nor would she give Piper any more reasons to do that.
Alex loved her more than her mistakes. And she loved her for being truly sorry. She loved her, period. Flaws and all. She couldn't put her life in danger anymore.
Deep inside, she knew she'd have to find a way.
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Hi, everyone. So, this chapter was a bit longer than the other and filled with all kinds of feelings. For the time being, I thought it was really important for Piper to realize "what a horse's ass" she'd been and feel truly guilty and sorry for it, and open up to Alex. Which is totally different from getting back together. We'll see what happens next. Thank you for your reviews, keep posting them and do not hesitate to correct any mistakes! I'm trying to add more details to dialogues and descriptions, too. Next chapter will be ready in a couple of weeks. See you then!
PS: In case you don't know, the lyrics belong to the song She by Elvis Costello.
