Jasmine couldn't help but feel satisfied with how the bake sale was unfolding. Her cupcakes, much to Jane and Laura's disbelief, were the first to vanish, and she had actually managed to make small talk with the two mothers.
"I'd better go" Jasmine smiled, white teeth contrasting with a vague hint of bronze blush on the clean-shaved cheeks. "There's family bowling tonight, I wouldn't want to be late"
The women waved, mumbling something about how Jasmine was maybe an upside of Blaine's DID.
Throughout the years, Jasmine had developed subtle techniques to point out her womanliness using a man's wardrobe, since —after an exhausting negotiation with Kurt— she wasn't allowed to buy women's clothes. That night, she settled for a cobalt shirt, suspenders and skin-tight trousers (that didn't need suspenders at all). Her hair, too short to her taste, were combed back, some locks voluntarily loosened.
"What are you guys having?" asked Finn with a smile, while the whole family was changing shoes. Cass and Will, along with Cooper, ordered hamburger and soda, whilst Jasmine and Rachel went for vegetarian quesadillas and water.
"I'm glad the bake sale went okay" offered Rachel for a conversation starter.
"Yes, it was good. And maybe those two women figured out that I can do everything just as they do. Tell me, how is living in Albany? Was everything fine, after the relocation?"
"Oh, yeah. The suburbs are quieter, that's for sure, but living there is more convenient for both Finn and me" she answered politely. As long as Jasmine wasn't being abhorrent towards Rachel, she could handle her, considering Rachel was too good for her own sake —as Finn often remarked.
Will started the game, helped by Cooper that refined his posture. The Anderson brothers had a strike each (they had their chances to improve during their childhood, and Jasmine seemed to have absorbed the skill) and Rachel almost stumbled, requesting Finn's assistance but managing to miss one and every single pin nonetheless. At the end of the first turn, they all paused to eat, and then went back to the game, everyone chatting and livening up an otherwise Jasmine-infected night.
"Shit" swore Cass, miscalculating an easy target.
"Cassandra? Do not swear, please"
"Oh, fuck, I forgot you were here. I'm so fucking sorry" she provoked sternly.
Kurt froze in his chair with a menacing look, but her daughter ignored him.
"Cassandra." Jasmine reprimanded once more. "That is not funny at all"
"You're not hilarious either, but it's not like I prevent you from talking" snapped Cass.
"Can we please have this little heart-to-heart in private?"
Cass glanced at Kurt, that looked as if he was about to shed a bloodbath, and decided to stand up. "Make it quick"
As soon as they got into the restroom, Jasmine looked at her, a hint of dejection in her eyes and voice. "Listen, Cassandra. I know you do not like me at all. But I would like us to get a little bit closer, and I cannot put all of my efforts if you do not even try to condescend"
"What should I do, Jasmine?"
"For instance, stop cursing in front of me, because you are aware that I do not appreciate that behavior"
"I'm almost 18, for God's sake! I can't go along with your 50s mindset, don't you get it?"
"And not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain!" she quoted, outraged. "Wash your mouth out!"
Cass broke down, opening her mouth and closing it, in a change of heart. Instead, she poured some soap in her hand and rubbed it against her lips, in a harsh briskness.
Jasmine approached her, astonished, but the girl screamed and backed off. The door opened loudly and Kurt appeared, eyeing the scene.
"What the hell is going on here?" he rapidly took a few tissues and cleaned off her daughter's mouth. "What did you say?" the man accused, staring at Jasmine. "Or, what did you say?" he added, turning to Cass.
"Oh, just girls talk" Jasmine justified.
"She's a bitch, pop"
Kurt sighed. "We're going home. Thanks for ruining everyone's night out"
"We were about to leave anyway" Jasmine pinpointed in a whisper.
o
Around midnight, Kurt knocked at her daughter's door —he knew she was awake— and came in.
"Don't blame me" Cass said, without looking at him. "She…she gets on my nerves and I can't help it"
"I know" he replied softly, sitting on her bed. "I don't want to talk about tonight, there's no point in discussing it."
"I appreciate it. Why are you here, then?"
"It's just…Jasmine is really trying to get closer to you. To everyone. And…I found this under the bed, while she was in the bathroom"
Kurt handed her a small notebook. Cass opened it, read a brief "to Cassandra. Love, Jasmine" on the flyleaf and flipped through the pages. In every one there was a quote —more or less extensive, some taken from the Bible, some from poets unknown to the girl— along the lines of love, affection and family.
Reading some of those made her smile faintly. "It's…it's cute"
"Is a but coming?"
"But she's not dad"
"She is, though. That's…that's a censored part of your dad's subconscious. So Jasmine is still him, after all"
"You know what I mean. There's no part of dad's mind that would've said those things, dressed up that way, or…dad can't even cook, for crying out loud!"
Kurt sighed and held her. She let her head fall on his shoulder and kissed her hair. He knew what she was going through, he knew what she was thinking, he knew she was exhausted, because that was exactly what he felt. But he had to play it strong, waiting for the day a breaking point would come and his husband would only be Blaine Anderson, the 9 to 5 advertising executive whose only peculiarity was being a gay man with two children.
The transitions seemed to have started out of the blue, a little more than 10 years earlier. Brian was the first alter, so at first Kurt hadn't even realized Blaine wasn't just being silly. His therapist, Dr. Pillsbury, supposed some censored memory had been casually triggered and, from that moment on, Blaine went through different phases that switched every few years: Blaine and the alters; Blaine and the slowly but relentless decreasing of the alters' presence; Blaine and no one else (and that was a lovely couple of years); Blaine with transitions so recurrent that it was almost compulsory for him to be put on meds.
Eleven years later, Blaine was back to the first phase, and Kurt could only hope the loop would soon break instead of continuing forever.
o
"You're back" purred Jasmine, voice deep and needy, as soon as Kurt walked into the room wearing nothing but his pajama trousers. He crawled into bed and and settled into his usual sleeping position, nuzzling his head against Blaine's —Jasmine's— hairy chest, without saying a word.
Jasmine held him tightly and rolled on top of him, hot breath against his neck. "Kurt"
"Mmh?" the man answered, without opening his eyes.
"I want a baby"
"I already have two"
"But they are not mine!" Jasmine whined, tracing Kurt's profile with a finger.
He nodded. "I'm afraid so"
"Kurt" Jasmine paused, almost thrilled. "I want you to put a baby in me"
Kurt chuckled and leaned against his elbows. He shook his head to clear away his laughter, and looked at the alter, now focused on kissing his torso and slowly running down to his crotch. "Jasmine. Jasmine, look at me" he repeated when she wouldn't stop. "I know you're sure of your existence. And…you are. You are real. But your body isn't the one you would, and should, be in. And I'm pretty sure you noticed you're in a man's body. Even if I wanted to, Blaine's body can't have a baby"
Jasmine shook her head, obstinately. "Blaine can't, but I do. Trust me"
"Jasmine. Think this through. You have a penis."
"Why are you so stubborn?!"
"I think we should both get some sleep" Kurt answered, sighing and turning his back.
oooooooo
Kurt blinked and woke up, detecting the smell of a familiar aftershave placing small pecks along his arm and shoulder.
"Your hubby's back" said a fully-dressed Blaine, leaning across the bed to reach him.
The man smiled and caressed his face. "Jasmine was here yesterday"
"I can't remember a thing. Was she hateful as usual?"
"Actually, she wanted me to get her pregnant" Kurt said, thinking back to the previous night.
Blaine seemed torn between anguish and resentment, but decided to laugh it off. "What?"
"Yeah, she thought it would've worked with her. I didn't know what to say"
"Did you…you didn't do anything, right?"
"Blaine, we have a deal and I'm honoring it. No sex with the alters, no more than random kisses" he assured. "And seriously, of all alters, you think I'd cheat on you with Jasmine?"
"You're right" he smiled. "Come on, Finn and Rachel are leaving right after lunch and I'll need as much help as I can get from Finn"
Kurt smiled and stood up, getting ready for breakfast.
o
"Let me go check up on the macho men" said Rachel, getting out of the kitchen with few sodas in her hands.
Blaine, Finn, Cooper and Will looked weary and soaked in sweat ―fall was still nowhere to be seen, even though it was mid-September already― and everyone was carrying out a specific task. Finn and Will climbed off a ladder and accepted a can, while the Andersons took advantage of the break to stretch their backs and sit down.
They were making small talk about how building the gazebo would've taken a whole week and if they were gonna finish it before a forecasted downpour, when Cass and Kurt joined them.
"Look at that" Kurt mumbled with a smile, stepping closer to his husband.
"What?" Blaine answered, playfully.
"You look sexy today" Kurt smirked and leaned in for a kiss, but was stopped by simultaneous yells.
"NOT IN FRONT OF ME NOT IN FRONT OF ME NOT IN FRONT OF ME" screamed Cass, joined by her brother.
Blaine shook his head, smiling slyly. "Save that for later"
"Dad, can you not?" pleaded William.
"Wait for the day you get a girlfriend"
"Blaine, he's your son, don't traumatize him" Cooper chimed in.
Blaine looked at him and frowned, suddenly a little boy all over again. "Buzzkill"
"Let's get back to work!" exclaimed Finn awkwardly.
Kurt, Rachel and Cass waved and came back into the kitchen.
"So, Cass" said Rachel, sitting on the edge of the table. "How's school?"
"I'm actually planning on graduating one semester earlier"
"Really?" answered her aunt, dumbfounded. "Why?"
"I just want to be over with high school, I feel like I don't belong there anymore" Cass shrugged.
"Do you have troubles with your friends, or Robert, or with some teac-"
"Hey, don't worry" Cass stopped her before Rachel started to ramble. "I'm fine, my friends are fine, Robert is…fine, my teachers are fine. Really, I just realized I wanna move on"
"Uhm. What do you think, Kurt?"
"We discussed this, and if Cass is sure about this, she can do it. Provided she figures out what to do with her life" he replied from the counter, where he was cooking lunch.
"And do you?"
Cass nodded, confident. "I'm gonna find a job. Maybe I'll go to college, maybe I'll find a satisfying job and I'll stick with that. We'll see"
The woman nodded and decided to relax by leafing through the latest Vogue issue.
oooooooo
After lunch, Finn took a shower and Rachel packed their stuff, so that they could leave before 3 pm —which they managed. While Kurt was working on his laptop, Blaine decided to go upstairs and find Cass.
I can do it. I'm her father, she's responsible, we'll talk about it and it'll be over. Or should I tell Kurt first? This pep talk sucks, Blaine. Climb these fucking stairs.
Eventually, he managed to do so and knocked at Cass' door.
"Come in" she called from the inside.
Blaine opened the door and walked in, greeted by a smile. "Can we talk?"
"Sure" she nodded, moving back from her desk in order to sit in front of him. She didn't look confident and approachable as usual, meaning she sensed something was wrong.
"Uhm…" Blaine shoved his hands in his pockets, then changed his mind, smoothed his trousers, sat on the bed and looked at the floor. "I found a pregnancy test box in the trash." He blurted out eventually. Way to go, Blaine, very adult-like. Kudos.
Cass sighed deeply and lowered her eyes. "Yeah. I…I was worried" she admitted, gripping her upper arms. "But everything's fine."
Blaine relaxed internally and stood up straighter, but didn't look at her straight in the eyes. "I know you and Robert have been together for a long time, so I shouldn't be surprised that you're intimate. Just...be careful" He genuinely didn't know what else to say. What was he expecting? Why didn't he plan this conversation beforehand?
"I know, dad. I just—I don't really want to talk about s-e-x with you" she let out slowly.
"Me neither, trust me" Blaine reassured with a cautious smile. "Well, now that we made things clear, I'll just…leave" he announced, standing up quickly. "Or is there something you want to tell me?"
"Nope" Cass answered quickly, as if she dreaded he stayed in there longer.
"Great" he said before leaving, and breathed deeply right after having closed the door. That was easier than expected.
oooooooo
Later, that night, Blaine got out of the shower to see Kurt carefully shaving his face —as he did twice a day— while sitting in his vanity.
"Uhm, Kurt?" he started quietly, rubbing his hair with a towel. Kurt looked up at him through the mirror, to make him continue. "There's something I need to tell you"
Kurt laid down his razor, turning towards Blaine slowly and scrutinizing him. "What?" he said, voice slightly higher than intended.
Seeing Kurt react that way dejected Blaine, who could only assume having said the phrase so many times to introduce a risky subject, that his husband was already prepared for the worst. That was not the attitude he wanted him to assume, even though he knew he would get into an argument either way. Blaine stood back, adjusting the towel against his hips.
"Few days ago I found the box of a pregnancy test in the kid's bathroom trash"
Kurt's eyes widened and his fists clenched in terror. "Wh-"
"I took care of it" interrupted Blaine. "I talked to Cass, and she told me they were worried but she's not pregnant"
Kurt glared at him sternly, fists relaxing but all of his muscles were still tight. "And you didn't think you should've told me?" he said, voice firm and harsh.
"There was Jasmine, and then Mike. I've been here barely a day since I found out" Blaine explained, trying his best not to lose eye contact.
"When did you talk to her?"
"This afternoon" Blaine answered quickly.
"So why didn't you come to me first?!" Kurt exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.
Blaine lowered his voice and tried to make it sound soft rather than desperate. "I didn't want to worry you, Kurt"
"Worry me? You didn't want to worry me? She's my daughter, of course I worry if I hear she might be pregnant! Why wouldn't you tell me something like that?!" Kurt's voice was a screech now, so loud he was sure his kids could hear from their rooms downstairs but he was past the point of caring about discretion.
"I didn't want you to stress about that too!" Blaine roared, leaving the room to get into the adjoining bedroom. Kurt started screaming something about trust and being parents together while Blaine took a moment to dress up properly.
"Kurt, don't you tell me I don't care about you" Blaine said, his muscles twitching at hearing the last sentence Kurt had said. "Don't you dare say that. You know what I sacrificed for you and you know how much I'm grateful for you being here for me" The man's voice lowered until it resembled a growl.
"Then why wouldn't you tell me something that important? Why?" contrarily to his husband's, Kurt's voice was raising in pitch and volume.
Blaine shook his head and let his voice and posture go back to normal. "You know what? I thought it was for the best. You don't agree? None of my business. I thought that was the right choice, end of story"
Kurt clearly wasn't satisfied with the outcome of the argument, but as soon as he snapped back Blaine turned his back and slid under the covers. Kurt's yells didn't stop him from closing his eyes and pretend to be falling asleep, until Kurt gave up and shut himself inside the bathroom for the following thirty minutes.
When he came back, his face looked more relaxed and his eyes had softened. Blaine couldn't notice that, though, since he was reading a book, curled up close to the faint bedside lamp. As soon as Kurt shifted next to him, Blaine turned the lights off and closed the book he was reading. Kurt reached for his husband's body and Blaine didn't back off, so Kurt spooned him. They stayed like that, motionless, for a reasonable amount of time, feeling each other's chest raising and falling slowly.
"Hon?" Kurt breathed softly after hearing the distant bip of the clock striking midnight. Blaine mumbled a 'yes', and Kurt snuggled closer to him while talking. "What's the real reason you didn't tell me?"
"How do you know there's another reason?" Blaine said in a muffled voice.
"I know it when you're lying" Kurt answered quietly. Blaine held his husband's hand and sighed deeply. "So?" Kurt encouraged after a minute.
"I wanted to prove that I can be a responsible father without having you there to help"
Kurt didn't answer.
A/N
There you go! Next time you're gonna know more about Will's life.
Come say hi on tumblr (taarya), and thanks for reading :)
