Chapter 3: Soft whispers

Sansa and Sir Loras had been walking through the large glass green house, as winter arrived, everything died off. Sir Loras spoke to her of the beautiful gardens of Highgarden, and she couldn't deny she wanted to see it. Of all the ugly things she had seen, it was nice for someone to promise her pretty things. Peytr had promised her a crown, a seat beside him on the iron throne… but Sansa was tired already. Her mind, her body, her heart… all of it was exhausted because of men and their wars. She had been a pawn for far too long, a pain Loras shared as well.

She could not deny that in all her doubts to Loras' reassurance that he did indeed enjoy women as well as men, a part of her knew he could make her mildly happy. He was not Jon, but Jon was her brother… the more she tried to deny her feelings the more guilt rose seizing her. She could not lie to herself, she was, after all, as Little Finger put it… a bad liar. Sansa was not likely to find a better offer then from the Knight of Flowers. Another part of her tried to pretend like it was her sacrifice and contribution to this war of seven kingdoms as well as the war against the dead.

She could supply armies, food, weapons, all by marrying a very handsome knight. One who was kind to her, even when he didn't need to be. His honor and kind heart reminded her of Margaery, she was rather fond of the light haired queen. Sansa knew that Margaery would have been a far better queen then Sansa, and far more so then Cersei ever was. Loras made her laugh, it came so easily between them, like long lost friends. Loras picked a small white rose only half in bloom and handed it to her.

"A fair rose for a fair maiden," Loras said, making Sansa blush and look away. She was no longer a maiden… hadn't been in some time. He instantly realized how what he said might affect her, "you're a maiden to me none the less Sansa of house Stark."

"Your kind words move me, sir," Sansa smelled the flower and gave him a small smile. His blue eyes danced between sorrow of his own deep kind, and a joy for life. Sansa looked at the ground as they walked, stuck between a small desire to be his bride and a bigger desire to be wherever Jon was at that moment. The confliction ate her from within. Little Finger was not pleased, she could see him moping in the shadows… his spies following her and the flower knight around. A part of her feared retaliation from him, she knew what he wanted… and a passionate man like little finger was dangerous when in desire, especially if they weren't getting what they wanted.

"I know you've wed before, but I can promise you, I will be a good husband. I will work every day at making you feel special, and doted upon. I will never hurt you," he took Sansa's hand in his and kissed it delicately. Sansa smiled, and a blush formed on her cheeks.

"You flatter me," Sansa held his hand in hers, "I believe you will be a kind and wonderful husband."

"We were but children when we were first met, we both experienced love and loss. You experienced the evil of the world, and I did as well. We both have scars, scars that will tear us apart if we let them… but I believe together, together we can mend our open wounds and take comfort in one another's love."

"And are you sure Loras, that you do find women appealing. As much as it would not bother me, as a friend I would not want to hold you back from what your heart truly desires milord…" Sansa was caught by surprise when Loras's hand hooked around her neck, and the other hand around her waist as he pulled her in and kissed her. The warmth of his lips were inviting, but they were foreign to her… not the soft pouty lips of Jon Snow. She could not deny the small stir in her belly as her passionately kissed her, his tongue rolling in her mouth as if to taste every hidden part within her. She was surprised to feel the stir of his member against her leg, it was flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. Sansa knew she had to be convincing as to not give away her broken heart for another, so she reached up laying her hand on his arm as she met his kisses with her own. When Loras finally pulled back he looked deep into her eyes.

"I assure you, milady, I am very attracted you. If I showed any hesitation in the past it was not due to a lack of desire, but for the fact my heart was already spoken for. It is hard to pretend to want someone when your heart is someone else's, and for that I apologize… my heart has moved on, I assure you," Loras' hand was still hooked around her neck as he gazed down at her.

"I understand," Sansa stared back into his blue eyes, but all she could think about were dark eyes… dark curls. Why can't I get him out of my head! Jon Snow you fool!

"I have no doubt you understand, in all honesty, I can tell your heart belongs to another," Loras smiled down at her, his determination in his eyes never wavering. She tried to protest but before she could he spoke once more, "do not mistake me milady, I am an understanding man. If you were able to be with this man you'd be with him, and not here with me. So I know that gives me a chance to win your heart… and I assure you I will. After all our pain and suffering, do we not deserve happiness ourselves?"

"Of course, Loras," Sansa said smiling at him with amazement and gratitude. He was so kind, how could she not marry him.

"If you wish it I will not push or rush marriage upon you until you are yet ready," Loras kissed her hand once more.

"Thank you, I will give you an answer tonight, I promise," Sansa smiled at him genuinely happy he was there. He was not the same kind of Brave, Kind, and Strong her father would have meant for her… but he would do the trick.

"Sansa," Jon's voice echoed through the large glass house. Sansa quickly stepped away from Loras looking between both men. It was then that Loras picked up on something he hadn't before, Jon's hostility towards him… the way Sansa feared Jon seeing them together. It was then he pinpointed an idea that Jon was the one who broke Sansa's heart.

"My King," Loras bowed looking over to Sansa as he rose.

"Sansa what are you doing unaccompanied?" Jon was blank as if he had finally shut everything off. He tried to sound like an over protective brother rather than a jealous lover.

"It's not like my virtue is at stake, Jon. I'm not a maiden who needs to protect her maidenhood any longer," Sansa snapped at him, angry with the way he was speaking to her.

"Oh I'm well aware…"

"Jon!" Sansa snapped glancing back quickly to Loras, was Jon trying to be obvious? Was he now trying to scare off a suitor while outing them for the great sinners they turned out to be?

"Sir Loras, I would like to spar with you tomorrow if you wouldn't mind the challenge. I've heard a great deal about you being a master at arms, I'd love the challenge of a worthy opponent," Jon smile a strange smile, his lips smiled with pleasantry but his eyes were dark and not inviting. Loras looked over to Sansa and took her hand in his.

"If my lady would permit my absence?" Loras said before kissing her hand. Sansa tried to not flinch, her face bright red with the worry.

"Aye, she will," Jon spoke up for her before she could reject it.

"Jon I need to have words," Sansa tried to change the subject all together, "would you grant me a moment alone with my brother."

"Of course, Sansa," Loras said before placing his hand on his hilt and walking towards the entrance. As he walked by Jon his hand still on his hilt, he nodded a small curtsy, "til tomorrow milord."

"Aye, til tomorrow," Jon did not smile, his face blank as usual lately. When Loras was out of hearing shot Sansa walked towards Jon.

"Stables, now," Sansa demanded of her King. Jon tilted his head and nodded once his approval. He did not reprimand her for ordering the King around. Sansa knew the stables would be empty by now, no one when in there after the final feeding and cleaning of the day. Sansa walked all the way to the end of the barn, pacing silently as Jon took his time to get to her, "What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" Jon asked, his arms crossed.

"You're not acting like yourself of late," Sansa snapped, "why are you antagonizing Sir Loras? He's made me a good offer…"

"You don't need to marry anyone Sansa, you're not a pawn," Jon stepped towards her.

"No, I'm not. He hasn't asked me to be a pawn. He asks me because we make a fair match," Sansa could see she had wounded Jon, "what do you want from me Jon?"

"I don't know," Jon turned away from her, "but I don't like him…"

"Why not?"

"I just don't…"

"That is not a reason," Sansa growled.

"Because he wants you!" Jon snapped at her, now facing her again. He was now in front of her… close enough she could feel his breath on her, "he wants to take you away."

"Isn't that better?" Sansa asked desperately, her hands curling around the fur on his coat, as if she planned to shake him or hold him in place.

"Better then what?"

"Better than having to look at each other every day, knowing what we did, knowing it was wrong," Sansa's voice grew desperate, "it changed something in me. To know I want my brother…"

"Sansa," Jon's face seemed to form into one of pain, "it does hurt… to watch you now. Knowing what I know of you, something a brother should never know of his sister half-sister or not. It hurts to know that what I feel is wrong… to have what I want will mean losing everything I've worked for."

"We both know we can't…" before Sansa could finish what she was saying he had grabbed her, pulling her in close and kissed her.

"Your presence is torcher for me," he whispered, his lips still on hers. She couldn't move, it was as if she was melting into him.

"We both know you will have to marry," Sansa whimpered laying her face in his chest, "don't make me stay here and watch it…"

"I can't stand the sight of you with anyone else," Jon's lips rested in her red hair, "how did we get to this…"

"I don't know… it just happened," Sansa looked up, her blue eyes a pool of tears. Jon placed his lips on hers again pushing her up against the stall wall. Her arms wrapped around him, meeting each kiss equally passionate and dripping with desire.

"Do what you must," Jon grabbed her shoulders, pushing himself away from her a little so there was a gap. He could not look at her, he would take her there if he could but he knew that it would lead to even worst things in the end, "make it fast and get it over with…"

"Jon?" Sansa asked in tears. He didn't say another word, just turned and walked away from her. Sansa stood there, leaning against the stall wall, her hands on her lips as she sobbed. This was it, she would tell Loras she would accept his proposal.


Sansa walked into the dining hall with Loras at her side, arm in arm, ready to greet the guest. Jon sat at the head of table, looking dark and broody as ever. He looked regal to her though, like a King. Jon tried his hardest the whole night to converse with others and keep his eyes to himself but he constantly found himself glancing over at Sansa who conversed much with Loras Tyrell.

"What's bothering his Kinglyness?" Tormund joked looking at Jon, "Kind of the doom and gloom…"

"I'm not in the mood," Jon did not look at his friend.

"I can see that, fuck, the whole castle can see that," Tormund tilted his head and looked at Sansa, "is it over the pretty red head lass?"

"What?" Jon snapped his head towards his friend.

"I aint blind ya know," he joked chuckling a deep laugh, "I see the way you be eyeing your Sansa. I aint got no problems with it ladd."

"Even if I pretended to know what you're talking about, which I DON'T, the whole kingdom would have a problem with it," Jon spoke into his hand looking at his food.

"Is it the pretty blonde fellow, I could kill him for you," Tormund joked some more. Jon smiled a quick smile and then turned his attentions elsewhere. He watched Sansa laugh, a genuine laugh, as Loras brushed some of her hair behind her ear before they got up to join the others dancing. Jon wanted to badly to go to Sansa and cut in, but he knew that would cause too much attention. She looked happy, as Loras spun her around and danced until her feet grew sore. They took their seats as the feast began to come to an end. Loras stood up catching everyone off guard.

"What a pleasure it has been to in your festivities, I must thank Lady Sansa for not only being a gracious host, but upon promising to make me the happiest man alive," Loras was still standing, he reached down taking her hand to help her up. He pulled out of his pocket a beautiful white gold right that had vines rising up the side to reveal a rose gold rose with a diamond in the center. Holding her hand still, he slipped the ring onto her beautiful white soft finger, "she promised to become my queen, my bride, the lady of Highgarden."

"Milord," Sansa said in awe looking at the beautiful ring in front of her. She couldn't help but glance over at Jon who was not looking at them but stabbing at his food vigorously.

"I cannot wait to make you my wife, Sansa Stark," Loras then pulled her in close and kissed her. Cheers erupted from the Northmen there, happy to finally see good things happening for the eldest Stark girl.

"You've made me very happy as well," Sansa blushed looking at all those around them clapping.

"To honor our noble houses union, we will have a tourney tomorrow in celebration. Let all of our best men to fight," Jon stood up abruptly, "to your health and a long marriage."

"Here here!" the group toasted. Sansa did not drink; her eyes were locked on Jon's dark eyes. There was a storm inside his dark orbs, and it concerned Sansa greatly. They finished up their meal and wine, Loras had escorted Sansa to her room where he asked her permission to kiss her goodnight. She found this noble and sweet, and began to realize what a good marriage they could have. Maybe she could even learn to sort of love him.


Sansa waited an hour before she snuck out of her room and down the hall to where the Kings Chambers resided. She looked around before tapping a few times and walking in. Jon had been sitting at his table, dozing off, startled to the point of almost losing his seat by her sudden presence. It was dark and cold, her breath stuck to the air leaving a cloud behind each puff of air into her lungs. Jon stared at her, he did not say a word, in fear she was a ghost or illusion that would disappear.

"Sansa?" he finally breathed.

"Yes," she responded, still leaning her back against the door, her hand on the handle as if she might change her mind. She needed to talk him out of the tourney match tomorrow, she couldn't bare the idea of one of them getting hurt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She could see he had been sitting at his desk with more whine. Drinking himself into a stupor.

"As am I," Sansa said softly, still afraid to let go of the door, "I made a mistake, I shouldn't be here…"

"No, don't go," Jon stood up, nearly knocking his table over. He quickly reached down to study himself, "please. Don't go…"

"Jon I shouldn't be here," her heart began to pound.

"Yes you should," he said walking towards her, "please stay."

"I only came to talk you out of the fight tomorrow," Sansa looked up at Jon who was now standing on front of her. He didn't say anything, he just stared at her for a moment.

"If you had asked me several years back if I loved you…" Jon could see her face even in the dark room, the beautiful blue moons light lit up her face, almost glowing as if an angel, "I'd have told them not even a little. I never saw you as my sister… I think that's why this happened."

"What happened?" Sansa asked shakily looking up at his stoic face.

"Us. You. Myself. The way I feel," he reached out and gently stroke a strand of her red hair. Sansa's eyes closed feeling his hand skim gently across her cheek.

"It's wrong," she bit her lip, her eyes still closed as she could feel his hand now tracing the shape of her jaw.

"I don't care," he said kissing her jaw and her neck. Sansa's arms wrapped around his neck. He lifted her up so her legs were around him. He walked her to the bed gently laying her down where he began to unlace her dress.

"We shouldn't," she said trying to rationalize.

"Shouldn't we?" he asked as he lifted her dress over her head. She moaned when his lips landed on her collarbone, her fingers grasping his shirt lifting it over his head. The moon shined off his scars as she eyed his beautiful body, "if I'm going to feel guilty about my feelings, might as well make the most of it…"

"Jon," she moaned as he nibbled at her bare breast. She could feel herself become wet with excitement and desire. Sansa climbed into his lap, kissing him fiercely as she lifted herself onto him his enlarged member filling her up as she began to move herself up and down, her arms stilled wrapped around his neck. His hands hooked around her buttocks as he helped her move. She let out a desperate gasp at the pleasure of him moving inside of her. He lit her up from within, ready to explode like a lit firework, "just say you love me… just for tonight."

"I love you," he whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck until their mouths connected, she melted into him feeling the passion flow through her bones. It rattled her from with inside. His hand wrapped into her hair while the other devoured her body, filling every curve and caressing her gently, "I love you, Sansa."

"I love you, Jon Snow," Sansa continued thrusting as his mouth kissed her skin. Finally, she could feel his cock get even harder and expand as his release came and he filled her with his warm sticky seed.

"Gods, Sansa, you feel so good," he whispered into her hair as they collapsed backwards onto the bed. Sansa kissed his scruffy cheek, making her way to his lips. He reached up his hand in her hair as it crooked around her neck. He quickly pulled her back over and on top of him. He ran his other hand over her body as she sat on top of him, bent over kissing him. It didn't take long before he was stirring again with desire, as if he was filled with so much desire it could never be fully appeased.

He positioned himself under her, entering her once more. Sansa gasped as his large member filled her once more. She began to rock back and forth up and down as he moaned, his hands on her hips. His moans filled her with an even deeper desire and it was a stranger power and excitement. She felt it take over her as electricity coursed through her body and her legs went weak. It wasn't too long after her own release that Jon came again. She collapsed on top of him, laying down on top of him. He gently stroked her hair, their breath heavy against one another. Jon's arms wrapped tight around her, not wanting to let go.

"I don't want to let you go," Jon whispered.

"I don't either…" Sansa whispered back, her face buried in his strong soft chest.

"I don't want you to leave," he held her tight, kissing her hair.

"I don't want to go… but it's for the best," Sansa finally lifted her head and looked at him. She placed her hand on his cheek gently, "you are a good King. What's out there is bigger than you or I, we are being selfish. The North wont rally behind a sister and brother lovers, I would have followed you anywhere Jon Snow."

"I wish you weren't right," he said softly, "for once I want to be selfish… but your right."

"This can't happen again," Sansa kissed his lips, "I wish it were you, I hope you know that."

"I wish it were me too," Jon lifted his hand to push her hair out of her face, "looks like we both have to sacrifice in the name of the home we both love."

"Yeah," Sansa shook her head yes, trying to hold back the tears beginning to pool in her blue eyes, biting her lip while still nodding her head.

"Stay the night," he asked softly, she shook her head yes and laid her head back down on him. Tomorrow would be the beginning of a new world for them as she became the fiancé of the last Tyrell heir, and he began his journey to battle beyond the wall. He would soon have to meet with the Dragon queen and discuss a treaty. But for the night he just wanted to be there, with her, the one person he lately felt like was the most important thing to him. At first he thought maybe he finally saw her as family, but now he realizes all their passing glances, the flirty smiles, the long night talks, the long embraces… he had been falling for her for a while.