A/N: Alright, so here's the next chapter. You don't really have to know much about it except that it took me much longer than usual to write this chapter, proably because it covers some pretty important issues with the LJ relationship. The last part is probably going to seem melodramatic to you, so sorry in advance, I just wanted to get across how confused and scared Lily is feeling right now, I hope I didn't go too over the top... Anyways though, because this capter took forever, and I worked really hard on it, I'd really appreciate your honest opinion about it. I didn't work so hard on it for you guys to lie to me. If there's something you guys want to comment on, don't hesitate to do that.


"Where are we going?" I asked for about the tenth time in the past minute.

"You'll know it when we get there." James replied, his standard answer.

I grit my teeth together and kept walking. "NO! Wait, stop Lily!" James cried. "Turn left… no, not that far left… more to the right… there, perfect, go straight."

I sighed. Potter had tried to guide me with his hand on numerous occasions, and each time I had refused to let him. It probably would be easier to walk to wherever the hell he was taking me if I'd just let him touch my shoulder already, but I found I just couldn't do it. Every time he'd tried to touch me on the stairs I had flinched so badly I'd almost fallen over and snapped my neck. I guess it was still the aftershock of our argument. I couldn't stop picturing that intense look on his face when he pinned me up against the wall. Most likely because I had nothing better to picture, seeing as Professor Sinistra had temporarily stolen that cavity of my brain. Stupid, bloody teacher.

"Stop Lily!" Potter cried frantically, "Ok. Now turn about 45 degrees to the left. There you go. Good. Now go straight."

I walked straight for about ten meters. "Stop!" James said again, quite loudly I might add.

"I'm blind, not deaf, moron." I stated coyly.

"Fine. Whatever. Turn right about say, 75 degrees or so…"

"75 degrees?" I asked bluntly, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, you're the one in Arithmancy. You do the math." James grumbled, his voice seemed to be coming from behind me. Great. I was standing in the middle of the hallway talking to thin air while Potter stood behind me and checked out my ass. Just bloody brilliant.

"Hello, blind here." I said, my standard sarcastic response. I must have reiterated that phrase half a dozen times by now.

"Just go forward till you hit the wall then, if you're so bloody smart." James said bitterly, "Hope you don't mind getting a bunch of half chewed pieces of gum stuck in your hair…"

"There's no gum on the school walls. Filch makes you and your idiot friends clean them every time you decide to blow something up."

"Alright. I was bluffing. Just turn right till I say stop…Stop!"

I would have rolled her eyes if I could see straight. "Again not…"

"Deaf, yeah I get it. Onward!"

"Onward? Who says onward?"

I could almost see Potter shaking his head in frustration. "I do. Ok? Now just move. Unless you'd rather stand here all day talking to a wall."

"I wouldn't be talking to a wall, because I'm talking to you… Which really, when you think about it, isn't that much of an improvement." I said, trying to suppress a smile but not entirely succeeding. I'll say one thing for being blind, it certainly wasn't hindering my ability to come up with witty comebacks.

James chuckled humorlessly, "Very funny. Now turn just a slight bit to the left and keep walking. We're almost there."

Sighing, I did as told. I felt like a bloody dog. All I needed was a friggin leash and a flea collar.

/-o0o-/

"Stop! Alright, we're here!" James said triumphantly, about ten minutes later.

Almost there, my arse.

"Where?" I asked, exasperatedly.

"You'll see…" Said Potter, in what was undoubtedly supposed to be a mysterious sounding voice. However, he only managed to sound breathless.

I didn't bother to tell him I wouldn't be seeing much of anything. That joke was getting old already, and I'd been blind less than an hour.

I stood still and heard Potters footsteps walking around me. Then I heard a muffled giggling sound, followed by the sound of a door scraping against the floor. Huh…?

"Alright. Forward."

I took a few tentative steps through what I assumed must be a doorway, and was immediately hit by one of the most wonderful smells I'd smelled in my entire life. It was overwhelming, it was delicious, it was magnificent, it was… intoxicating. Chocolate chip cookies and fudge brownies, apple pies and blueberry muffins. Roasted chicken and home baked gravy, cornbread and mashed potatoes… I had absolutely no clue how I was able to pinpoint and recognize all these smells, all I knew was that these various odors were all wafting about the room, mixing and melding together and creating the most glorious aroma I'd smelt in a long, long time…

"Wow…" I said, inhaling deeply.

I knew where we were alright, it could be no place else. We were in the Hogwarts kitchens.

Wait, the kitchens?!

"You brought me to the kitchens you moron! That's forbidden! We're already in enough trouble as it is, do you want to get expelled?!" I screamed.

I heard a loud crash in the distant. Several more followed.

"Er, Lily… You're kinda freaking out the house elves…" James muttered into my right ear.

House Elves…? Now I was really confused.

"House elves?" I asked aloud.

Then I heard it. I'm guessing about a dozen sets of scampering feet scrabbling over towards us. "Missus Evans, Mister Potter!" They squealed in surprisingly high-pitched voices.

Then, quite abruptly, the scrambling stopped. They seemed to be standing before us.

"How can we serve you today? The usual, Mr. Potter?" Asked one elf, with a particularly nasally voice.

"Yes. Definitely. Thanks Max." Said Potter.

"You come here often?" I asked, half curious, half scandalized.

The scandalized part must have shown in my face.

"Relax Evans," Said Potter lazily, his voice seeming to come from somewhere farther right now, "I haven't set the place on fire yet, have I?"

"That's not proof that you never will." I muttered, turning and walking towards where I thought I'd heard his voice. I bumped into what I assumed to be a table, and felt a bit of pressure on my shoulder. I couldn't help it. I flinched.

Instantly, the pressure receded. "Sorry Lily, I forgot." James mumbled. The sound of his voice was coming from above me now, I was sure of it.

"You're standing in front of the counter," Potter said, as though reading my mind, "Do you think you can climb up? That way we won't be in their way."

I could only assumed that 'their' meant the house elves. Nodding, I grasped what I supposed must have been the top of the counter and began to pull myself up.

I managed to use my arms to hoist my body into the air, but I still wasn't high enough to swing my legs over the counter. I reached my hand out blindly, frantically searching for anything to grasp onto, and my hand found something warm and soft. I didn't hesitate to grasp onto it and use it as leverage to scramble on up. It wasn't till I had finally made it to the top of the counter, and was sitting there safely, my legs dangling off the edge, that I realized what I must be holding- Potters hand.

I promptly dropped it.

He sniggered. Bloody git.

It wasn't long before the house elves were shoving piles of food up onto the counter, much to Potter's delight.

"Mmmm, twwwy a bwiscwit Lwlily…" he managed to utter through mouthfuls of food.

I rearranged my features into what I hoped was a disgusted look.

He tried to shove a piece of whatever the hell he was eating into my mouth anyways.

"Ugh! Potter, get that out of my face!" I cried, dismayed.

He'd stuck some kind of food under my nose, and I found that the combination of having absolutely no clue what that food was, and not trusting Potter as far as I could throw him (Which wasn't far, trust me I'd tried) quite ruined my appetite. "I'm not hungry, and I'm certainly not eating out of your hand like a bloody pigeon, so just forget it." I snapped.

He must have pulled the food out from under my nose, because I couldn't feel or smell it any more. "Don't you trust me Lils?" He asked teasingly.

The combination of the stupid question and his use of my nicknames greatly irked me, not that I wasn't sufficiently annoyed before. "Of course not, idiot. And don't call me Lils." I said curtly.

"Why not?"

I wasn't sure which statement he was addressing, so I decided to answer both of them, "Because you are a miserable, untrustworthy little slime-ball, and because only my friends are allowed to call me Lils, and you are certainly not one of them."

"Oh." He said. If I didn't know better, I'd say his voice sounded a tad bit dejected.

I listened to him noisily scoff down several more mouthfuls of food, all the while gritting my teeth.

There were so many things I'd wanted to tell Potter all these years. Unfortunately, I'd never really been able to get in more than the odd insult or two before the wands came out and things got far less verbal and much more physical. And it wasn't as if we ever really talked or anything. I mean, the most civilized encounters I'd had with Potter all year usually involved him asking me out with some kind of derogatory pick-up line, and me comparing him to a flobberworm with melanoma or some such. We weren't exactly on what you'd call 'friendly terms'.

And yet here we were now, stuck together for the next eleven hours. This would have been the perfect time to tell him exactly what I thought about him, shout out every insult that had ever so much as occurred to me while in his presence. Hell, I could've even alphabetized those insults if I'd wanted too.

But I didn't. Something stopped me. Something in the way he'd treated me that day. Pushed me, shoved me, griped me harder and harder. It wasn't that our fights had never become physical before, because they had, but today was different. Today, he'd looked at me with cold, hard eyes, he'd spoken to me in harsh, serious tones. Today there was nothing even remotely teasing or trivial about his intense words and actions. Today, and I hated to admit this, even to myself; today I was scared of him. I was sitting there completely at his mercy, and I was bloody terrified.

However, that wouldn't stop me from being my usual sarcastic self. I mean, this is Potter we're talking about after all, it's impossible to sit in his company for too long without insulting him.

"You eat like a starving hippogriff." I blurted out.

I could almost feel his eyes boring into my skull, "Excuse me?" He asked in mock politeness, "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

I mentally berated myself. Starving hippogriff? My sister could come up with a more creative insult, and let me tell you, she isn't exactly the brightest apple on the tree. Most of her insults centered around the phrase 'freak', 'freakish freak', 'freaky freakzoid' or some other variation thereof.

"Yeah well," I said, because I had to say something, "I'd like to see you do better."

"Alright," Potter said glibly, "How about I eat like a Hungarian horntail with a tape worm? Or, better yet, a hag with self-esteem issues?"

"All hags have self-esteem issues." I stated, a slight smile tugging at the corner of my lips for some reason. "Comes with the territory of, y' know, having excess facial hair and constantly smelling like a toxic waste dump."

"Ah, the plight of the ugly…" James sighed theatrically, "Good thing we both have relatively attractive faces and easy access to soap."

I wasn't really quite sure what to say to that. I guess I could have made up some kind of witty remark about how somehow I doubted Potter had ever been properly introduced to a bar of soap in his life, but honestly, I wasn't in the mood to argue right about then. It was too easy just talking.

"How about, you eat like a pregnant, severely hormonal giantess?"

"Good one." Potter acknowledged, "Or a three headed dog in a pie-eating contest?"

"A bulimic thestral?"

"Slughorn at an all you can eat crystallized pineapple buffet?"

"A sphinx at the Start of Term Feast?"

"The sphinx'd be eating the people? Right?"

"Of course."

"So there we have it," Said Potter, "I eat like a pregnant, self-conscious, bulimic dragon with three heads and a tape worm who's addicted to crystallized pineapple."

He said it all very quickly, and in a simple, matter-of-factly voice one might use when discussing nothing more controversial than today's weather.

"Well, when you say it like that…" I managed to blurt out sardonically before we both burst into laughter.

I don't know why we were laughing really. It wasn't even that funny. A first year would have thought it was funny maybe, but not us. And yet, here we were, two mature- scratch that- one mature and one primal, seventh years, sitting together in the Hogwarts kitchen, clutching our sides and laughing hysterically.

Potter must have put another spell on me. He really must have.

I don't know, I think it was just out of pure relief that I was laughing so hard. The last hour had been unsparingly tense, it felt good to just laugh for the sake of it. To laugh and snort, and giggle and chortle, and maybe forget for awhile that I was stuck with this insufferable moron for the next eleven hours. To forget that I couldn't see. And, most importantly, to forget that Potter could.

Because, as I was laughing, a thought had occurred to me. Just because I couldn't see him, didn't mean Potter couldn't see me. It was rather simplistic really, five-year old logic, but for some reason all this while I'd been suspecting that being blind somehow protected me. As though I had some kind of 'get-out-of-jail-free card' just because I was handicapped. As though, because I was literally helpless, Potter wouldn't dare follow through with his threats in the divination tower. As though I wasn't at his mercy, just because, plain and simple, I was.

In other words, I had only just realized the real reason why Potter had brought me to the Hogwarts kitchens.

Not because the food was delicious.

Not because the smell was so alluring.

But because we were alone. Completely and utterly. And I was as helpless as one of those poor, brain-washed house elves.

I promptly stopped laughing.

Potter didn't notice of course. He was too worked up from his 'hilarious' joke. I swear to Merlin, that kid'd probably crack up at a funeral if someone in the procession so much as farted. That's how mature he was.

I just sat there, stiff as a statue, and tried not to let my mind drift to any manner of sick, twisted, fantasy's Potter could possibly have about me. I mean, sure he was obsessed with me, and sure, he'd been asking me out relentlessly since the third year, and yes, I had once caught him in my dormitory going through my underwear (smelling them no less), and yeah, he did follow me and my friends around an awful lot, and he even had that stupid invisibility cloak he thought entitled him to follow me into the girls bathroom and listen in when I decided to strike up a purposefully loud conversation about menstrual cycles and such, but still, I mean, that didn't make him a pervert, right?

Merlin's pants. I was screwed.

And then I started thinking about the divination tower again. His cold, bottomless pits of eyes were pulling me in, drowning me in their depths, echoing against the cavities of my brain…

God, when did I become so melodramatic and metaphorical?

There wasn't anything fishy going on here, really. We were just two kids sitting here in the last pace on earth anyone would expect to find us. One blind, and one harboring an obsession for the other. And that day at the divination tower hadn't been any different either really. Potter had just screamed at me, shoved me against the wall, pulled my wrists to my sides, rendered me powerless and threatened to rape me because he thought it would be funny. Like one of those practical jokes he was constantly playing on people. Funny. Haha.

He was still laughing. I tried to join him. This was just a joke. It couldn't be happening. I wasn't really stuck here, with no sight, with the one person in the world who had something seriously against me.

It wasn't happening. It couldn't be. It was just a joke. I opened my mouth to join in Potter raucous chorus. To laugh it all away like I'd done just moments before.

The only sound that came out was a strangled sob.

Potter's laughter died instantly.

"Lily…" he asked hesitantly.

Tears were prickling at my eyes. Bloody tears. I wasn't even scared. I swear to Merlin I wasn't.

I felt a hand grip my shoulder.

I flinched so badly I almost fell from the counter. Then I curled up into a little ball, tucking my knees in, putting my head down, and wrapping my arms protectively around myself.

Scratch that. I was bloody petrified.

"Lily…" He reiterated, his voice seeming to come from afar. Like the insistent coo of birds in early morning, or the gentle rumble of thunder in the distance, "Lily…Lily…Lily…"

I couldn't take it. I hated the way he kept saying my name. All soft and gentle like. Like he were trying to help me. Like he were my friend.

I raised my elbows to cover my ears an block out the sound.

It worked. I couldn't hear, or see, anything. I was all alone at last. I almost had time to heave a deep sigh of relief.

But then Potter's hands were back to gripping my shoulders, shaking me this time. Shaking me desperately, roughly, the way he'd done that morning at the divination tower. It was too much. I snapped.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I hollered, snatching at air to find his arms and pry them off.

As it turns out, I didn't have too. As soon as I screamed, Potter withdrew his hands from my shoulders as though he'd been burned. Somehow, I always knew he would.

I could picture the look on his face. Shocked, confused, maybe even a little scared.

But I didn't really care what he looked like. All I knew was that suddenly, my old fury at him had returned. I hated him with a fiery, smoldering, white-hot, burning passion.

I hated how weak he made me feel. I hated how terrified I was at him. I hated that he probably knew it too. I hated him. Plain and simple. I wanted to curse him to hell, and then back again, just so I could do it a second time. I suddenly didn't care that I couldn't see straight, and would most likely set the entire school on fire. All I wanted to do was make Potter hurt, and be terrified. As terrified as I was.

I started digging around in my robes for my wand.

For the second time that day, it wasn't there.

"I took it Lily." Potter said calmly.

He was still right next to me, the bloody git. I sent an icy glare in what I hoped was his general direction.

"I-I didn't want you to end up hurting yourself with it…" Potter stuttered.

I could have laughed then. It was that funny. "You didn't want me to hurt me." I sneered.

"Er- yeah, that's right," Said Potter, sounding utterly perplexed.

"Awww…that's sweet." I said dryly, though my voice was sort of trembling, "You care so much about me you're keeping me safe. Till what, you're ready to take me? Here and now? Pure and unblemished?"

"Uhhhh…" Said Potter. He was obviously confused. I found that kind of bugged me. I'd have to make my next sentence plain and simple.

"It's not me you're worried about git!" I said, my voice gaining in volume now, though still on the edge of hysteria, "You're just worried I'll hex your nads off when you decide to shove me up against one of these refrigerators!"

And then there was silence. Tears still prickled my eyes. Though this time these were angry tears. Perhaps mingled with fear. Not the other way around.

A plate dropped at the far side of the kitchen and broke the lull of silence.

I could almost feel Potters eyes boring into my skull as he spoke his next remark, "You really think… You really think I'd hurt you…"

"I don't think." I said, my voice more steady now. "I know."

There would have been silence following this confession, but I could hear the house elves pattering feet and muttered curses as they scrambled to collect the pieces of the broken platter.

Then, I heard Potters voice. Flat and emotionless. "You're wrong."

But I wasn't. And he knew it. He didn't even have the dignity to tell the truth. I would have spat on his miserable face again if I knew where to aim.

"You're a bloody rotten liar," I said, telling him as much.

"I'm not," he denied again.

I heard his robe swish as he went to touch me again, but I flinched out of the way. I heard Potters teeth clench in frustration, "Why are you afraid of me Lily? I wouldn't hurt you. I love you. You know that."

I took in a sharp intake of breath. There, he'd done it. He'd played the love card. But that was just another lie. What Potter had was not simply an infatuation with me, it was an obsession. That wasn't love, it was insanity.

"You don't love me." I stated, trying, and failing, to keep my voice steady.

"I do." Said Potter, as solemnly as one might take a wedding vow. "I love you Lily. I would never hurt you."

He said it so calmly. So serenely, so positively. All of a sudden, I couldn't listen to the lies anymore. I couldn't take it. I snapped.

"Of course you would!" I screamed, "Do you think I'm stupid!? Do you think I'm deaf!? You shoved me against a wall and threatened to rape me! Of course I'm scared of you! I'm bloody terrified!"

I heard Potter scoot back from me as though my words had been a physical blow. I would have smirked, but I was too far gone for that. And I wasn't even finished yet, "And now here we are!" I continued, half sobbing, half screaming, "Down here in the kitchens, all alone, and you're still playing games with me! I'm sick of it, honestly! I'm sick of sitting here and being terrified! So why don't you just get on with it already! You know you will! So stop playing with your food like a bloody toddler and get on with it!"

"Lily…I…" Potter uttered, this seemed to be his default phrase.

I didn't want to hear it, "Shut up! Alright!? Just shut up! Stop trying to tell me you won't do it! I know you will! I know you! You are greedy, and selfish, and vile and cruel… You are your bloody friends don't hesitate a second when you spot some poor soul you can hurt! So why should it be any different with me!? You've made my life miserable this long! Why not just finish the bloody job!?"

I was just drawing breath for my next rant, but Potter cut me off. He wasn't screaming, but his words carried the harsh edge of someone on the verge of losing their temper, "I'm the one who wouldn't hesitate to hurt you, Lily…" He said, his voice surprisingly even, though with an undertone of malice, "I wasn't the one who punched me. I wasn't the one who called me a pathetic dog with no balls and then slapped me across the face. So yeah, I did get angry at you. And yeah, I did want to scare you a little. But I would never, ever, do that to anyone Lily, especially you. If you really did know me, you would know that."

I lowered my voice to meet his, "Then if you're such a gentlemen," I said, "Why don't you prove it?"

"I will." He said, his voice close to my ear now, making me inwardly shiver, "But first you have to understand something Lily. Will you listen?"

Did I really have a choice? I'd already yelled myself hoarse.

"I'm in love with you… Stop shaking your head like that, we both know it's true. And I'm not such a pathetic excuse for a man that I can't admit it. That doesn't mean I like it. That doesn't mean I enjoy, day after day, getting turned down, over and over again, by you. Constantly putting my heart on the line, and then having you kick it to the ground and trample it. So today, maybe, for just once, I wanted you to experience how terrified I am, every single time I come up to you to ask you on a date. How certain I am that you'll hurt me, and yet how useless I am to avoid that fate. I can't say I'm sorry for what I did to you today Lily. You deserved a healthy dose of your own medicine."

His words were like an icy dagger through my heart. I wanted so desperately, in that moment, to believe him, but how could I? I'd seen the way he looked at me. With intensity, with longing, and then, perhaps, with just the smallest dose of…fear?

I'd never thought of it this way. I'd never thought of him as the victim. Though at the time, I wanted to believe it was the truth. Maybe I was the monster? Maybe I really did have nothing to fear?

I was so confused, and so upset, and I didn't know what to do or say. So all I did was this. I raised my trembling hand into the air and said, "Truce…?"

Without a word, Potter took it.


A/N: I know the ending was a little abrupt there, but trust me, this argument is far from over. I just had to stop it somewhere for now because this chapter was getting fairly long.

A/N2: Happy Easter to all you Christians out there! If not, then happy spring! If I were to update by tomorrow it would be nothing short of a miracle, and since I'm not the son of God, I just figured I'd get my holiday wishes out early.