Title: Look Upon Me
Rated: PG
Summary: In the face of the loss of Gwen, Kevin gets a new start but he's using his old rules. Trying to live a human life proves too much to handle.
AN: There is a story line, but these chapters are drabbles strung together to form the story, you get to fill in the blanks.
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Sarah sat quietly thinking on Kevin's couch. She had of course, this morning, been released from her tube. Dexter had had fun experimenting on her and her fellow agents to revert them to humans once more. That had been easy enough for him it seemed. But she was still left with her life as it was. Her parents were dead, her house was filled with a new family that didn't know, or seem to care if they did know about their deaths. Kevin had told her she could stay the night if only for some semblance of her former life.
Ben had stared at her in pity and she hated it. He was always looking down on her, like she couldn't take care of herself. Though perhaps he was right. She had fallen under Fuse's power and been doing his work for some time.
The door slammed open breaking her from her thoughts. She jumped off the couch her senses ready to fight. Her eyes darted over the small apartment looking for the most useful weapon. Eyes locking on the open door and Ben's confused expression, she relaxed. "Hey." She mumbled weakly. She was still tired from the change back, still learning how her body worked once more. Most of it was muscle memory, Dexter had assured her as much, but still her body was refusing to work at one hundred percent.
"Come on Ben inside already." Gwen insisted pushing her cousin in. Sarah stilled listening quietly. She didn't like Gwen. Gwen was the third member of the team she had never met until yesterday. Apparently she had been under the same sway, but easier to free and thus had weeks ahead of her of readjusting to the world. She was jealous and uneasy around the red head and other then that she wasn't entirely sure why.
"That's my girl." Kenny giggled walking into his apartment. Sarah's eyes narrowed as the teen's eyes settled on her. He look startled only a moment as though he had forgotten she was staying there. She was still in her plain jeans and a white shirt, all that Dexter could spare. She felt so very plain and forgettable at that moment.
"So... how was the fight?" She questioned not forgetting that what Kevin had said was not directed at her. Had Gwen been 'his girl' before she was 'his girl'? Of course she was, she shook her head suddenly recalling things she had done her best to forget.
Gwen was the girlfriend he had been grieving over when they had met. So rarely spoken of it hadn't hit her until that comment. She didn't wait for an answer as the air seemed unable and unwilling to enter her lungs. "She doesn't look so good..." Gwen noticed stepping towards her.
She refused to be touched by that girl. Her mind raced with emotions more then thoughts as she turned towards the bathroom door. Crossing the small living room quickly she slipped into the room slamming the door shut behind her. She began to see spots as she turned the lock. Dizzily she turned to the bathtub looking for anywhere to rest. Two steps into the bathroom she noticed the toilet as her stomach turn.
Outside Ben stood beside the door hearing the suddenly gross sounds of vomiting. "Well you were right..." He winced as Sarah loudly heaved again. He tested the knob finding it locked. She was more then just sick, sick people wanted help. Sick people that sounded violently ill inside the bathroom would want people holding their hair back or rubbing their back. She clearly wanted to be alone in her illness.
"Ah- well..." Kevin mumbled. "No dinner for her it looks like." He looked at Gwen blushing and Ben frowned. Kevin was just asking for a lot of trouble. Gwen had been freed weeks ago and they hadn't thought twice about seeing each other. They hadn't officially become a thing yet, but how easy Kevin seemed with the situation bothered him. Any man with two former girlfriends still very interested in him should be scared.
"Must be a side effect for full humans. I never got ill from changing back." Gwen stated as a matter of fact. Walking away from the bathroom door Ben slipped into the kitchen wondering how Kevin could live in such a small place.
Gwen joined him, Kevin following quickly behind putting the take out they had picked up after the fight on the counter. Ben's hand found the smoothie cup without resistance and he pushed depressing thoughts from his mind as he tasted bliss.
Sarah felt horrible even as she climbed out of the shower. She had slept in the tub after her episode with the toilet. She woke up smelling of vomit and had a pain in her neck that just refused to go away. Her clothes didn't feel fresh anymore and stepping on them with her wet feet, were out of the option in her mind.
Wrapping up in a towel she found in a cupboard she exited the bathroom expecting no one to be there. She hadn't heard noise all morning, but she still remembered all the friendly banter last night over food. Their mere mention of food last night still made her stomach curl. Wincing she opened the door hugging the towel to her body and praying her stomach wouldn't jump again.
"Hey." Kevin's calm voice caught her attention. Her eyes snapped to the couch she had been roosting on last night. He was sitting shirtless in his jeans, a manual of something opened on his lap. She could see colorful diagrams and alien language on the page. Probably a manual to some intergalactic sports car knowing him.
"Hi." She answered back still remembering his comment to Gwen yesterday. Her stomach flipped again and she stumbled. "There isn't anything left in you stop it!" She hissed to her stomach. She leaned on the door frame to the bathroom her neck throbbing. She ignored Kevin's worried expression as he got up to help her. Instead she focused on keeping her stomach in control and fighting the dry heaves threatening her throat.
His arms wrapped around her as he spoke. "Hey you going to be okay? You haven't eaten anything in a while."
"I'll be fine." She said crossly not wanting him to touch her. Did he hold Gwen as tenderly? Had he done it with her before he had even met her? They were older, they probably had. How deep was their relationship? Why hadn't she bothered to care before? Maybe because she had thought Gwen was dead. She was angry with herself for being so stupid. For not giving Kevin everything he had wanted, when he had wanted it, and how he had wanted it. This doubt that she still had his heart was snowballing inside of her. All because someone else was 'his girl'.
"No your not. Please eat something for me." He urged her. A hand took hold of her chin pushing it up forcing her to look at him.
He leaned in and kissed her before her mind could get her body into gear. She was still weak, weak in will against him despite her distrust of the situation. As he sucked gingerly on her lips she wanted to beat her fists into his chest and demand and explanation for his comment towards Gwen.
He pressed her to the door frame running his tongue across her lips. A move he hadn't done before and that she didn't really like. Had he done that with Gwen? Yet again her protest was stalled by his actions his tongue slipping into her mouth. Her hands that had been pressed into her stomach clutched the towel. He was acting like nothing had changed!
His kiss grew rough and longing as he forced her against the wall. Her spine was protesting the door frame as it dug into her skin, but her mind was shutting down. This was one of the kisses she had missed, though at the time she couldn't remembering what it was. One of the few things she had always felt was missing as a Fuse minion.
Letting a groan out into his mouth, she gave into him. Pressing his full weight against her struggled against him for some relief from the pressure. Her hands abandoned clutching her towel in favor of wrapping around his neck.
"Missed you babe." He gasped breaking their kiss.
"Love you too." She said automatically. A kiss like that, often was followed by a declaration of love, or a push telling her to get away before he did naughty things. She blinked his words registering after she had said hers. She blushed suddenly feeling stupid. "I need to get dressed." She insisted slipping out of his grip. He let her pushing him back boneless which only flustered her more.
He had never been so disarmed when she had said that before. Did he no longer believe she loved him? Or worse yet, did he no longer love her? Entering his bedroom and locking the door behind her she growled. She had let her mind wander again and was now shamefully cornered by her stupid words in his room with no real change of clothes.
She heard him moving on the other side of the door. "I'm going to make breakfast... do you want some?" He asked softly. On the other side of the door his fingers stroked the wood wanting to ease whatever pain he had caused her. He loved protecting her, but right now he was still trying to remember how he had done that. It seems everything he had done was backwards. He had been on the wrong foot when she had been recovered. Unlucky enough to have been on a date with Gwen when he had gotten the news.
"No I'm fine." She croaked in that voice that screamed she was crying. He nodded defeated. Heading back to the couch he sat down. The manual he had been inspecting lay forgotten. He had lost his appetite.
