Description: A story based shortly after Joey and Pacey's break-up.
Disclaimer: I only own the storyline not it's characters.
Author's Note: if you will read I will update.
Chapter #3
(Joey's pov)
" Mind if I have a seat?", asks Pacey as he walks up behind me. Glancing up at him, I swipe a few stray tears from my eyes. How can Pacey not take a hint? His company is not wanted. I'm not about to sit here and have an argument with him. While I may be carrying Pacey's baby that does not mean that I want him to be a part of our life. Far as I am concerned, we are both better off without Witter. Not once did I ever give Pace a reason to lash out at me the way he did. If something was bothering him, he could have come to me. We could have talked things out, that is what we always did. Why Pacey chose to pick a fight with me at Prom in front of everybody is beyond me. I'll never forget all the harsh and hurtful words he said to me. How the hell could I? They only run through my head every night as I lie down to fall asleep.
" I don't want to talk Witter, you're wasting your time.", I point out in an agitated manner not bothering to give Pacey the time of day. I'm too tired to argue, all this anger I have towards Pacey is literally draining me. Not sure what the hell he even wants from me. If Pacey came to apologize though he is wasting both his time and mine. I don't want to hear anything that he has to say. Honestly, all I want to do is go home, take a hot bath, eat dinner and attempt not to cry myself to sleep again tonight. It's nearly nine o'clock, I should be getting ready for bed. What am I doing instead? Sitting at the very dock where True Love once resided. Not sure what the hell I am even doing here. I was walking the streets of Capeside and before long this is where I wound up. Not sure how Witter even found me let alone why he is here.
" That's alright, we'll just sit Potter.", confides Pacey while taking a seat beside me. Letting out an exhausted sigh, I kick my toes at the creek water below. God, what does he want from me? If I remember correctly, Pacey is the one who ended things with me. How can Witter not see that it is killing me to have him near? Part of me wants to climb into his arms while the other wants to slap him hard across the face again. If Pacey came to apologize once more then he can leave, I don't want to hear it. I don't want nor need an apology from him. He made his bed now he can lie in it. If something was bothering Witter, all he ever had to do was come talk to me. I would have listened and we could have gotten through whatever it was together. He chose to take the easy way out and completely destroyed my heart in the process.
" What do you want from me Pacey? Haven't you done enough?", I complain with an exhausted breath. Really have no idea why Pacey is even here. Can he not take a hint? I want nothing to do with him. Pacey stomped on my heart without ever giving me so much as a reason as to why he had wanted to break up. Doesn't he know that since prom I have nearly cried myself to sleep every night? Nothing he could possibly say will ever take back the pain Pacey inflicted upon my heart. There was once a time when he was my everything, now? It's almost as though there is this giant void in my heart. Anytime that I see, or think of Pacey all I feel is a throbbing pang in my chest. Frankly, I want nothing more then for said twinge and him to go away.
Running a fatigued hand over his face, Pacey stares out across the creek," Look Jo, I understand that you hate me. I screwed up, nothing I can say will ever change this. We're about to have a baby though like it or not. Way I see it? Despise me all you want Potter, I'm not leaving your side, we're in this together.
Unsure how to respond let alone react, I reluctantly force my eyes to meet Pacey's," You really mean that Pace?"
" Of course I do Joey. Contrary to my outburst at prom, I still love you. ...I never stopped, not once Potter.", confesses Pacey in a low voice while placing a hand over mine. Wanting more then anything to believe him, I shake my head in frustration as tears stream my cheeks. Removing my hand from Pacey's light grasp, I hug myself when a light breeze picks up and I shiver in the night air. Does he think he can treat me the way he did, say those words and then merely expect me to forgive him? Sorry, but that is not how it works. Usually when you're in love with someone? You're going to do whatever it takes never to cause them heart ache. Pacey set out to hurt me that night at prom when he lashed out at me. While he might not have intended to, that is precisely what he managed to do. How does he seriously expect me to forgive all of the hurtful words he threw at me? Because I honestly don't think that I can.
" You can't say those things to me anymore Pacey, its not fair.", I declare with anger evident in my voice. Pacey has no right to say those words to me. Not after he wrecked my heart. Whether he means them or not, I don't care. Pacey is not aloud to completely ruin me then sit here and say he loves me. He is only making it difficult for me not to take him back. Part of me wants nothing more then to be with Pacey. Another is absolutely scared to let him get that close to me again. If I were to let Pacey back in and he left me? I would be beyond destroyed. How can he not see that his mere presence is killing me? Why couldn't he just keep his distance and make things easier for me? Is that asking so much?
(Pacey's pov)
" I know it's not Jo, I screwed up when I let you go. Nothing I can say is going to change that.", I admit with a frustrated huff. Joey has every right to tell me to go to hell. Why she hasn't done exactly that is beyond me. Every single harsh word I uttered that night, I want nothing more then to take them back. If only it were that simple, I want nothing more than to make things right between the two of us and start over. If Potter will have me, I'll do whatever is necessary to prove I'll never leave her side again. Even now, there are tears streaming down her eyes. Part of me wants only to pull her close and never let go. I'm not sure if Joey would let me though. All I can do now is hope Jo will see I made a terrible mistake and in time want to work through our...well, my issues. Last thing I want is to loose her forever...not now, not when she is carrying my baby.
" Pacey, please, I'm exhausted enough already. Right now, all I want is to go home, eat dinner, take a warm bath and crawl into bed.", pleads Joey in a defeated manner. There is a worn out look in her eyes, but her tears have stopped. Not knowing what else to do, I stand and offer a hand to help Joey up. Watching as she hugs her coat tightly around herself, I kick at the ground. It has to be good sign that Potter didn't take off at first sight of me. If she didn't want to see me, that is exactly what she would have done. Maybe, if I just give Joey some time, she'll come around and actually want me to be a part of our babies life. I'm not stupid enough to hope she would ever take me back. This said, it would be a bold faced lie if I said that I didn't want her to in time.
Scratching at the back of my neck, I offer a slight nod and understanding smile," I'll walk you home then Potter, it's getting late now."
Reaching for my hand, Joey's fingers intertwine with mine," You'll stay Witter?"
" With you?", I manage to choke out at a lose for words. Joey is asking me to stay? I'm not going to argue, but why? To the best of my knowledge, I had it on fairly good authority that Jo wanted nothing more to do with me. Though, if that were the case, she wouldn't ask me to stay. Whatever her reasoning, I am not about to question things. If Potter wants me to stay, then I'm going to. While I have no idea what this means, I'll take this as another good sign. Maybe Joey knows it was never my intention to break up with her. Maybe she misses me as much as I do her. If by some chance Jo does want me back? I'm not ever going to be stupid enough to let her go again. Something tells me that if I ever were? Potter wouldn't give me another chance.
" Pacey, I need you. I'm so scared right now, I'm not ready to be a mother. I can't do this alone.", confesses Joey in a small voice before bringing her eyes to meet mine. Startled when she walks into my arms, I waste no time pulling Potter near. Not sure what any of this means. Is this Jo's way of telling me that she's giving me one more chance? I know better then to ask questions or pry too much. Burying my face into Joey's neck, I nudge my cheek against hers. Whispering into her ear, I promise Jo I'm not going anywhere. This in turn manages to calm Potter as she peeks up at me with tired eyes. Tensing briefly when her lips meet mine, I kiss Joey back gently. Is this her way of telling me she wants to give me one more chance? Dear God, how I hope that it is.
" Joey, believe me, I'm just as terrified. I swear you won't have to do this alone, I'm not going anywhere. If you'll have me, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you.", I all but beg at this point. Screw my pride, I want Potter back and if pleading my case is what it takes then that is what I'll do. Our...well mainly my major downfall was that I bottled up every single insecurity I had about our relationship. Doing so is only going to cause me to lose Potter again. I don't care if it kills me, I'm going to learn to open up to Joey. If something is weighing on my mind, I'm going to figure out how to put it into words and tell her. I can't afford to make anymore mistakes, not this time. Joey needs me more then ever and I am not about to let her down. For whatever reason she found it in her heart to let me back in and I am not about to make her regret this decision.
" I believe you, Pacey. But please, if something is bothering you...tell me. Oh and if you ever break my heart again? I'll break your jaw.", warns Joey with a look that says she means it. Placing a soft kiss on Joey's lips, I wrap her in my arms. I'm not about to make the same mistake twice. Truth is, I don't know why I never went to Jo with my doubts. She would have wasted no time reassuring me that I had nothing to worry about. At the time it felt like all I had been doing was messing up. Joey told me that it was alright and I had nothing to worry about. Why I couldn't just take her word, I'll never know. Whatever the case I couldn't help hearing this voice in the back of my head telling me it was only a matter of time before Joey realized she deserved better. The mere thought alone had me terrified. Seeing her dancing with Dawson and smiling? Part of me wondered how long it would be before Potter figured out that she had made a mistake in choosing me. My damn insecurities ate at me until I just snapped and lashed out before I even knew what was happening.
" I'm going to learn to tell you whats on my mind, honest Jo. It's not always easy for me to do so but I'm afraid of losing you for good so I'm going to. I'm not going to, but if I ever did break your heart again? I would deserve more then a broken jaw. Come on, lets get you home and we'll cook up some spaghetti and meat balls Potter.", I offer with a smile and light kiss to her cheek. Taking Joey's hand in mine, I lead her away from the docks. Coming here tonight was the right decision. While I might not have known it would lead to Potter wanting to make an attempt to sort things out between the two of us, I'm sure glad that it did. I know without a doubt that she is the one I am meant to be with. We're going to be a family soon enough. Never imagined that I would become a father at such a young age but these things happen. Jo and I were always so careful, whatever the case she is pregnant and to be honest I could not be happier. There was always a part of me that had hoped Potter would one day bare my children. All I am focused on now is reassuring her every step of the way that together we can do this and there is nothing to worry about. …
