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The Cutie - ch. 3

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Her bloody alarm clock had waken him up early. Unable to get back to sleep Tommy already got up with too less sleep after that drinking excursion the night before. Walking on tip toes he went past Barbara's still sleeping figure on the sofa into the kitchen where he had a glass of her interesting all-minerals-and-vitamins-included-drink. It actually helped him a lot to get rid of his hangover. He also made himself some toast with butter and a bit of salt and since she still had not woken up from the quiet noises he had made he decided to have a refreshing walk around the block before he would make himself a coffee. He had found her keys in a bowl near the entrance so he would not have to knock when he returned.

A bit later when she woke up Barbara instantly knew she had not heard her alarm clock. Of course not. It still stood on her night stand. Serves him right, she thought when she turned her still closed eyes towards the light that came through the windows. Tommy definitely would have heard it and it surely would have ripped him from his much needed sleep. Barbara yawned and stretched.

"Good morning!" she heard.

Barbara jerked. Then with wide open eyes she looked straight into Tommy's face.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up."

Fully dressed Tommy sat in her armchair. He even looked fresh and sipped at a steaming cup of coffee.

"What time it is?" Barbara asked instead of returning his cheerful greeting.

"I don't know. Morning. But you were sleeping so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you."

"Great. I'll be late for work now."

"Well, yes, it's a bit too late to be at the office in time. But I'll give you a letter of apology for your boss." His smile was disarming.

"Haha!" Making sure she would not reveal too much naked skin Barbara sat up, yawned again and then hurried to her bathroom. She had to ignore the broad smile on his face. Her boss may have been ripped from sleep by her alarm but he obviously had not the slightest headache or any other sign of a hangover. The mirror above the sink told her that on the other hand she definitely had had better nights than this.

To her relief Tommy felt sorry that she had had to sleep on the sofa. He apologised when she returned a bit later and fully dressed. With her arms crossed in front of her chest she stood leaned against the doorframe. Barbara knew that her face mirrored the bad night and her still slightly present anger about Tommy's inappropriate appearance in the middle of the night.

"I seriously couldn't have sent you away in the state you were in, could I?"

"Probably not." He frowned apologising. "I came here by taxi, didn't I?"

Barbara only nodded.

"And you paid for it?"

"65 quid, Sir. Sixty! Five! Including a generous tip of course."

"I owe you a dinner." Again Tommy tried to give her a disarming smile but it did not work really well. Barbara still looked rather grim.

"You do."

"Wherever you want."

"Oh, I'll find some place." Her resistance against the contrite expression of his face started to fade.

"I have to admit I have a little mental blackout." Tommy took a long sip of coffee. "Did I do or say something inappropriate?"

Barbara looked at him blank. Where should she start? Should she remind him of his declaration? "Nothing, Sir," she choked. "you just slurred incoherent nonsense."

Tommy slowly nodded as if he recalled a few parts of the night. "Thank you for helping me to bed."

She blushed by the memory. "Ah, at least one thing you remember."

"Vaguely." His smile was askant. "But I know that I wouldn't have been able to undress myself alone."

Barbara blushed even more and this time Tommy noticed it. "And I really didn't say anything inappropriate?"

She snorted a disbelieving laugh. "Well, apart from asking me to kiss you several times, you've repeated over and over again that I'm cute, which is, in itself, inappropriate. I am not cute."

"Oh, you are, Barbara." He remembered her body leaning down to him. And he remembered her lips on his. "Cute, brave, strong, soft, wonderful."

A pause of silence filled the time. They stared at each other, Barbara looking confused, Tommy's face serious but still smiling.

"Loveable." he softly added.

Barbara sharply exhaled. She had not realised that she had held her breath. "Bollocks!" Straightening her back she turned to go to her kitchen.

Tommy called after her. "Of course you are!" Barbara did not answer so he went on. "And I have a faint memory that you actually gave me a good night kiss. I appreciate that, Barbara."

She still did not answer. How could she? Just tell him that she more than appreciated the kiss? Hardly.

"Oh, and I vaguely remember now why I was trying to find solace in alcohol."

"Aha?"

"I saw you dating Clifford."

He knew that he should not start like that. It sounded too much like an accusation and she had had enough of that earlier yesterday. He knew he simply should repeat what he had said to her yesterday evening but Tommy found himself being too cowardish. In the meantime Barbara had returned to the living room but stopped in the doorway.

"So, you thought you'd lose me to another man?" She sounded slightly disgusted.

"Would I? Lose you, I mean?" This conversation took a different way than Tommy had intended. He got up and made several slow steps in Barbara's direction. He had seen her involuntarily shaking her head just a little bit and it stirred up his hope. Maybe he could save the situation with the right words. "Well, it may look as if I'm suddenly wanting something... wanting someone who gets out of my reach but actually..."

She stayed silent and still made no move.

"Actually I very clearly remember what I've told you yesterday, Barbara, and I still mean it. It's not come over me suddenly, but... I only suddenly realised that I do. Yesterday evening when I was having a pint... and a few whiskies... and a few pints more... and pestered the poor bar man with stories he told me I should tell you... I'm sorry. That doesn't make much sense, does it?"

This time Barbara clearly shook her head. "Do you want another coffee before we get to work?" she asked.

"No, thank you. No, I don't want another coffee. I want to know how I could tell you what I want to tell you so you would believe me."

"Well, being sober is a good first step." She turned and went back to her coffee machine. Hearing nothing else from the living room she imagined him raking his hand through his hair. He usually did it every time he had no words. "Now, go ahead and tell me what is so important that it made you get royally drunk yesterday." Her voice still had a sharp edge.

"I... umm... well... You know, for several years we're more than close colleagues," he started an explanation. "and I'd say we were more than just good friends. You're my reason to get up in the morning and you're my last thought almost every evening when I go to bed." Tommy made a pause to gather his thoughts. Barbara did not turn. She fidgeted with her coffee machine. "For many years I thought I am a lucky man having you as my friend and confidant and even be able to see you every day even though on the surface it obviously was only for work. And the odd pint afterwards. And one or the other dinner. And function at Howenstow."

Barbara snorted but kept on staring at the water dripping through the filter without giving her aversion any words.

"I'm so entirely sorry about what I've said to you yesterday evening at work. Of course you can spend your time with whomever you want. I'm sorry that I've sounded as if you'd have to tell me when you have a date. I'm sorry if I appeared as if I want to regulate what you do after work. I'm really sorry. I'm even more sorry about my bad choice of words. It's just... Until yesterday night when I was sitting in the pub still hoping you would appear I did not completely realise what I actually have in you. I've taken you for granted. I did not even realise that I've stopped dating other women a few years ago. In fact until yesterday night I did not realise that I actually..." His voice turned lower and he made another little pause. "Until yesterday night I just felt lonely without recognising that all that I always wanted, all I ever needed was right there under my nose and by my side. That all I ever needed was you."

Barbara swallowed. She did not allow herself to even think about where his speech was obviously heading.

"Even my jealousy did not wake me and showed me what I really feel for you. I only felt stupid self-pity that I was not the only person in your life. I am a stupid man, Barbara. Can you forgive me?"

She could not answer. Tears stung in her eyes and a huge lump was in her throat. She had no clue whom Tommy could be seriously jealous of.

"Barbara, I love you." he desperately whispered. "I love you so much that I let you get happy with DS Clifford. I just wanted to let you know what I feel. It's not that I try to make you feel bad, I just see how you-"

"He's gay, you stupid idiot!" Barbara half sobbed, half laughed.

Tommy hesitated. "Gay? You mean...?"

"Yeah. We're going shopping and we're talking about men when we're out."

"Oh..."

Barbara still only presented him her backside. "About you, for example. He adores you."

"Oh..."

"And he's jealous of me."

"Oh!" Tommy's face turned into a grin and it was audible.

"He's said to me that I am a stupid woman not to see that you only have eyes for me."

"Oh... Umm... Well, he's right." Another silent pause stretched the time and her nerves. "Barbara, can we start this conversation again?"

Unnoticed by her Tommy had closed the distance between them and now he stood right behind Barbara. She could hear him breathing now.

"At what point?" she whispered with a croaked voice.

"How about 'Good evening, Barbara.'?"

She gave a nervous laugh but played along. "Sir, it's late."

"Not too late to tell you I'm sorry about my idiotic behaviour earlier, I hope. Not too late to ask you if I'm welcome here."

His right index finger tentatively stroke her upper arm.

"No, it's not, Sir. And you are welcome. You're always welcome."

"Will you please turn, Barbara?"

She turned.

"And I also hope, it's not too late to tell you - properly and sober - that I love you."

"Not at all." she whispered. "Because I seem to love you too." Her anger, her fears, objections and questions were washed away when she saw his face instantly moving closer. Briefly his soft lips brushed hers with a gentle kiss. They both smiled. "Tommy." she sighed.

The following kiss was mutual but still tentative. Slowly they both explored each others lips and gradually moved closer against the other's body. For both it felt natural and as if it should have been like that for years. Gradually they also moved closer to the edge of the worktop until they realised that they already had gone a step further. The lower parts of their bodies obviously had a pace of their own. She clearly could feel him against her hips and he clearly could feel her bold hands on his behind.

"Shouldn't we go somewhere else?" he asked a few moments later panting and with their foreheads softly bumping. Then, with a seductive smile, he added "Somewhere more romantic? Not that I'd object but this here seems to be heading somewhere..."

"Well, what about Paris?" Barbara grinned in reply and for a short moment Tommy had to ask himself if it was a serious suggestion. His quick mind even thought about calling in a favour from a friend with a private jet but when the woman in his arms suddenly started to snicker he dismissed these thoughts. He kissed her more claiming this time.

"London is exactly where I want to be..." he murmured onto her lips. "...because I'm here with you."

"You're cute!" was all she could answer before his lips closed hers again.

They already had been late for work by then but it turned much later before they finally arrived at the office today.

Fortunately Barbara's boss accepted her explanation.


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