"Dudikins, you haven't even touched your steak. Are you alright, darling? Not another ridiculous diet?"
Petunia Dursley fawned over Dudley. He ground his teeth, annoyed that his mother treated him as though he were five. Vernon was getting annoyed as well.
"Leave the boy alone, Petunia, he just had a good, long day at work," Vernon said proudly. "Isn't that right, son?"
No, Dudley thought. He had, in fact, called in sick and spent the whole day with Parvati on their fifth date. They went to an amusement park, a first time thing for Parvati, and she adored it so much that they spent the whole day there. She talked about her job, her family, and her dreams, as did Dudley. The two got on so well. Dudley was positive that he was falling for her, and falling hard.
He cleared his throat. "I would like to discuss something."
He had been dreading this: Telling his parents he had a serious girlfriend. Dudley had, well, been a bit of what you would call a player with the ladies – and why not? He was wealthy, handsome, and well respected. But Parvati didn't care about any of that. She liked him because he was himself.
"What is it, darling?" Petunia asked, wringing her hands nervously.
"Isn't it obvious!" Vernon boomed. "He's got a promotion at work! Good job, lad!"
"Oh, Diddy!" Petunia cried, tossing her arms around him.
"Er- No," Dudley said. "It's . . . something else."
His parents looked at him, obviously curious. Dudley took a breath.
"I've . . . met someone."
Petunia blinked. "A – a girl?"
"Yes, mum, a girl," Dudley said irritably.
"But, but you don't date!" His mother cried, desperate to be the only woman he'd ever need.
"I do now," Dudley said. "I've just come back from our fifth date."
Everyone was silent. Then Vernon boomed with laughter. "A girl, eh, boy? Good strong girl? Make sure she's got some meat on her bones? I dare say she's a beautiful blonde, just like your mum?"
"Oh, Vernon," Petunia, who actually was more grey than blonde now, flushed with delight.
"Um – not, not exactly," said Dudley. "I – I thought we could all have dinner, tomorrow night? Here?"
"Of course, boy, of course!" Vernon said. "I'll get my suit tomorrow . . . Nothing like a good old fashioned meet and greet, eh, Petunia?"
But Petunia wasn't listening. Instead, she put her face in her hands and ran up the stairs, sobbing.
"Ah," Vernon said, taking a huge bite of steak. "She'll be fine."
She was not, in fact, fine. Petunia spent the rest of the evening and the better part of the next day locked in her bedroom, going through Dudleys baby pictures.
Later, at six o'clock, Dudley and Parvati were walking up to Privet Drive.
"I don't think they'll like me," Parvati said bluntly, knowing what the Dursleys were like from what Dudley had told her. "I'm afraid."
Dudley kissed her head. "They'll love you. Everyone loves you."
Parvati looked very pretty. She had traded dress robes for a pretty white cocktail dress. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head, held with a gold band. Golden bangles hung from her wrists. Dudley thought she looked ravishing.
Dudley led her inside. Vernon was wearing his best suit, and Petunia was wearing a bland orange dress.
Vernon and Petunia stared at Parvati. They were not expecting a thin, exotic Indian girl. They had been expecting . . . well, blonde and curvy, as Dudleys other women had been. They made light conversation as they ate, Petunia glaring down at her food and then at Parvati. When they went into the living room for coffee, Vernon got down to business.
"Now, Parvati," he said, the name oddly rolling off his tongue. "Do you work?"
"Oh. Yes, sir. I have a steady job."
Vernon looked slightly disapproving. He, for one, was in the opinion that women should stay home with the children.
"And where do you work?"
"She's an accountant," Dudley said quickly.
Vernon raised his eyebrows. "Oh? An excellent business."
"Um – yes," Parvati said.
Thunder rolled over head, and Vernon sighed. "Ruddy weathermen," he muttered. "Sunny all day, they say . . ."
There was a sudden cracking noise. Petunia screamed and Vernon jumped, spilling his coffee all over him.
Harry Potter stood in the middle of the living room, his wand in his hand.
Parvati jumped up. "Harry?"
"Parvati?" He looked around the living room. "What – what are you doing here?"
"I'd ask you the same thing! You look great, by the way. How's Ginny?"
"Fantastic. Did you get your invitation?"
"Not yet, Hermione told me to expect it though."
"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING BACK IN MY HOUSE, BOY?!" Vernon yelled, turning quite purple in the face.
"Ah, right," Harry said. "Well. I'm going to have to move you again."
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" Vernon yelled.
"Harry?" Parvati said. "How do you know them?"
"My aunt and uncle and cousin," Harry said bitterly.
"Your . . . your aunt and . . . the ones who treated you so . . ." Parvati glared at Dudley.
"Parvati," Dudley began.
"Save it," she said icily.
"Listen, we have really, really got to get out of here, whether you like it or not," Harry said.
With another loud crack! Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly appeared.
"Why aren't you lot packed?" Ron frowned at the Dursleys.
"WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Vernon shouted. "WE'RE NOT LEAVING, YOU HEAR?!"
There was a loud booming sound outside.
"Harry!" Hermione pleaded. "The Death Eaters! They're outside, our defenses won't last long . . ."
"Come on, Hermione," Parvati said, jumping up and pulling her wand out of her purse. "I'll help you . . ."
"SHE'S ONE OF THEM!" Vernon shouted, turning quite purple in the face as Parvati and Hermione ran outside, Ron close on their heels. "DUDLEY, HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU BRING THIS – THIS FILTH INTO OUR HOME!"
"Thanks," Harry said dryly. "Now could you please get your things and come on? I don't feel like dying for you lot!"
Harry pulled out his wand. "GO!" he shouted.
Vernon and Petunia, shocked, ran up the stairs to get their things.
"Harry," Dudley said, tapping his cousin. "Harry, what can I do?"
"Just stay out of the way, Dudley," Harry said coldly.
"Did you – did you get my letters?" Dudley asked.
"All twenty-eight of them," Harry said, muttering strange words under his breath as a soft, yellow color emitted from his wand and engulfed the house.
"I – I meant every word, too," Dudley said.
Harry looked at him and for the first time, smiled. "Thank you, Dudley. Honestly. Now, get your arse upstairs and get your things so we can get out of here."
Dudley nodded and went to help his parents.
