Everyone saw it… everyone was watching, but no one spoke of it. Well, our clients squealed, but that was probably because they thought it was part of the show. Hikaru…. Hikaru didn't mention it. He brushed it off like it was nothing, and that hurt. Nikki had blushed furiously at us before leaving silently… but that's fine. I wanted her to go. But… why? Why did I kiss him? Don't get me wrong.. we've kissed before, but only as brothers. A kiss on the cheek or the forehead or hand… never before on the lips, though. The whole rest of the club, Hikaru wore a blush, continuing to discuss meaningless things with our clients. He hardly looked at me. Had I hurt him? Had I finally pushed him away for good? I hoped not… I kept trying to say something, but… no words would come out. Our clients then turned their gaze to me.

"Kaoru-kun, anou… how much longer do you have to wear your boot?"

"Will it come off soon?"

"Ah… actually I'll be going to the doctor today to see if I can get it removed."

"I wish you the best, Kaoru-kun!"

"Thanks!" I was acting happy… always acting… acting like my leg didn't still hurt. Acting like everything was fine. Acting like… I didn't really mean to kiss him. I think, deep down, I did… Club soon ended but the uncomfortable distance between Hikaru and me remained. He turned, finally, to look at me, but it seemed difficult for him to speak. I couldn't stand that uncomfortable silence anymore, so I spoke up instead.

"Gomen ne, Hikaru… about before." He looked a little surprised. "I was in the moment and my foot slipped." It was a dumb lie… anyone else would have called me on it, but not Hikaru. I watched his expression change from shock to playful. He pinched my cheeks softly and laughed.

"Baka Kaoru! You gotta be more careful!"

"Hai hai!" I replied, brushing his hands off.

"I'm sorry, though." Hikaru said suddenly. "I took the game a little far with Nikki. I didn't think you'd jump out of your seat like that. Still, it made for a good show, didn't it?"

"Ah…. Right… a good show…." Somehow that just made me feel bad. This was all just a game to Hikaru. Nikki's affections, the clients…me. I wanted to ask him how he felt… if he meant those words he spoke so softly… but I didn't have the nerve to ask him. Soon, Haruhi came up behind us… I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

"Anou, Hikaru…" Hikaru instantly jumped up and smiled, happy to see her.

"What is it, Haruhi?" He looked so happy and excited to see her….

"Well, it's our turn to clean up the classroom, remember?"

"Ah… right." Hikaru laughed. I felt bad because I couldn't help. "I'll be right there! …! Ah wait, Kaoru's appointment…"

"Don't worry about it, Hikaru." I said, standing. He instantly reached out to help steady me. It was more out of reflex than anything else, but it still felt nice. "I can go on my own and meet you back at the house if you want."

"You sure? You don't need me there to hold your hand?" I wanted him there… I really did. I wanted so much for him to be there…. But…

"I'll be alright. We'll be together soon enough, right?"

"Right…" Seeing as he wasn't going to put up a fight for me, I grabbed my crutches and said goodbye to everyone. He waved to me and walked off with Haruhi, happily chatting away and I just stared. My change in personality hadn't gone unnoticed, however, as a firm hand fell on my shoulder. I expected to turn back and see Kyouya standing there, but instead I saw…

"Tamaki…?"

"I'll go with you, okay?"

"Ah… hai…" It was a father's role to watch over everyone and make sure they were alright, wasn't it? Maybe this was just his role to play… no, honestly, Tamaki was the one person who didn't pretend. He honestly felt deep down that we were family and though it may seem an act, his words, his feelings were completely genuine. So, he helped me downstairs and into his car.

"Thanks for the lift!" I said sincerely.

"It's no problem. You looked like you wanted company."

"I did?"
"Yes…" There was something on his mind… I knew there was.

"Is there… something you wanted to talk about, senpai?"

"Well…. You've been acting strangely. I wanted to make sure you're alright."

"Well, my leg hurts, but aside from that-"

"Are you and Hikaru fighting?" He just went out and said it, surprisingly. He could be horribly blunt sometimes. Upon hearing that, I could no longer keep up the fascade and my gaze fell to the window, watching the scenary pass.

"I wouldn't say we're… fighting."

"Then what would you say?"

"…I'm just confused is all. About… what Hikaru thinks of me."

"What are you talking about? You mean the world to him. Everyone knows that, and he said it himself."

"He did he mean it? I don't know… lately, the line between reality and playtime has been blurry… I can't always tell when he's joking…. Or when he really means something."

"You're twins… shouldn't you know?"

"I should, but lately… Well, I know he likes Haruhi… even if she's too naïve to understand his feelings."

"…Then what about you? How do you feel?"

"I feel like…. I don't want him to be with anyone… but me."

Tamaki was quiet for a moment, but glancing at his face, he didn't look disgusted or confused…. He was…smiling. He knew me well. To me, this wasn't a game. To me, this was real…

"You need to talk to him." …I knew that. I knew all along that I needed to tell him, but… why was I hesitating? I kept thinking about those words for a while… and Tamaki, our self-appointed "daddy" just smiled, giving me encouragement. I can do this… I can….. right?

Meanwhile, Hikaru and Haruhi finished up cleaning the classroom and as a courtesy, Hikaru called for his car and drove her home. They sat at Haruhi's cute little table drinking tea.

"You didn't have to give me a ride, Hikaru. But thank you."

"It's no problem! It's nice to get away every now and then! Commoners are so fascinating, anyway!" Haruhi gave him a disapproving look but sighed, not retaliating. She brought over a tray of simple "commoner" snacks and watched as Hikaru ate them graciously. He looked happy, at least on the surface.

"Ne Hikaru… you've changed."

"Eh?" Hikaru paused mid-drink and blinked at her confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe it's just my imagination, but… you've been acting different recently. In fact, your personality is all over the place. One minute you're quiet and reflective, then you're loud and boisterous…. And others, you're waiting on Kaoru hand and foot. Ever since that time…"

"Stop." Hikaru stopped her suddenly, that serious expression coming to his face. "We don't need to talk about that."

"I think we should. You haven't once brought it up… you act like it's all water under the bridge, but really, you can't get it out of your head, can you?"

"….It's just… I don't know what to think."

"What do you mean?" She asked softly.

"Well… during that time, I couldn't tell what Kaoru was going through… he was hiding things from me, and because of it, he got hurt…"

"That's hardly your fault, though."

"It was. But it was Kaoru's fault, too… I don't want to see him hurt, I don't want him to suffer, but I don't know what he wants from me, either."

"Sounds complicated…"

"You have no idea." Hikaru sighed and laid his head down on Haruhi's table. "I wish he'd just talk to me… tell me what he's thinking."

"You should do the same. You two should really talk."

"I know…" Hikaru sighed again. What did Kaoru want from him? Why was he still keeping his thoughts to himself? Then, he recalled the incident from earlier. The look of jealousy in Kaoru's eyes, his lightly trembling form…. The softness of his lips. Hikaru absently found himself touching his own lips, remembering the wet, hot feel of his brother. He'd never done something quite like that… how did he feel about it? Haruhi was watching and must have been wondering the same.

"Ne, about earlier…"

"Ha?" Hikaru looked up.

"I'm not judging or anything… but that was pretty intense. Until now, I always thought you two were acting. Putting on a show for everyone. I guess you're both really, honestly close, right?"

Were they? They hadn't been apart a single night, they slept in the same bed, bathed, ate and walked together… At the host club, they acted like so much more. Like… lovers. Lovers….

"It's true… most of what we talk about in front of others is just for show… but… the feeling is behind it. Sort of… a fantasy of ours." 'ours or mine?' Hikaru wondered. Did he long for it all to be real? But then, there were his feelings for Haruhi. Looking her over, he couldn't deny she was cute, honest and a dream for any man to long for.

"So, the words you spoke earlier… were a lie?"

"! No!" Hikaru quickly sat up, slamming his hands down on the table. "Kaoru means everything to me!" Haruhi jumped and her eyes widened. It was only then that Hikaru realized he'd frightened her and quietly apologized.

"I'm sorry…. I shouldn't have asked something like that."

"No… I'm sorry for overreacting…" but why did he react so strongly? Was it the suggestion that he didn't love his brother? Or was it the meaning of his love that was being questioned? For once, he really had to think… how deep did his feelings go? If he hadn't been interested in that way, he wouldn't put on that face for everyone to see…. So did he really….

"Ah! It's so late!" Haruhi exclaimed, looking at a small clock on the wall. It was well past dark by then and Hikaru gasped. He'd spent far too much time away, and surely Kaoru was worried about him. Quickly, he called for his driver to get him, said a quick goodbye to Haruhi and rushed home as quickly as he could. One of his maids met him at the door.

"Welcome home, Hikaru-kun. You're back so late…"

"Sorry, I got busy. Is Kaoru still eating dinner?"

"Ah… no. Kaoru-kun came back a few hours ago and went right upstairs to sleep."

"He didn't eat?" She shook her head. "We offered to bring him something, but he said he wasn't hungry." Kaoru… he was neglecting himself again… Hikaru wasted no time in rushing upstairs and quietly slipped into their room. There he was, laying under the covers on his side. He looked so small in their bed made for two… On his way over, Hikaru quietly removed his shoes, jacket and shirt and crawled up onto the bed. He lightly shook his brother's shoulder, but Kaoru didn't wake. He brushed his bangs out of his face… his calm, soft, sleeping face…

"Kaoru… I'm sorry I'm so late…" Since when had he become comfortable being away from his brother's side? Since when did it become okay to not look over and see him standing there? Maybe this was what Kaoru had been so afraid of… Hikaru really WAS moving away from him. Now he understood his brother's fear…

"I'm sorry… you were right… but now that I'm aware of it…"Kaoru didn't wake, even still, but Hikaru felt like his message would get through. He then pulled back slightly and looked down his brother's form. He couldn't see the bulge of the large boot under the covers, so Kaoru must have been successful in having it removed. Slowly, Hikaru let his hand wander down his brother's form to stroke his leg. Yes, it was finally gone! But… the bone had been badly broken… had it somehow left a scar? He didn't like Kaoru looking different… he didn't like not matching… looking over and seeing himself… He had to check.

So, gently, Hikaru moved aside the covers and let his eyes wander. Kaoru was in his underwear, which for some reason caused him to blush when it shouldn't have been surprising, and he looked further down those long, thin legs… he didn't see a scar. Thankful, Hikaru smiled and stroked his brother's smooth leg.

"You're okay… really okay…"

"Mmm… Hika…ru…" Hikaru jumped at hearing his name and pulled his hand back. Kaoru groaned sleepily and rolled onto his back to stretch before his tired eyes opened to see Hikaru sitting there, staring at him.

"Hikaru… Okairi…"

"Ah.. t..tadaiima…" Kaoru's eyes wandered to the clock, which made Hikaru feel guilty.

"You're home late…"

"Gomen, Kaoru… I gave Haruhi a ride home and well… time got away from me."

"…I see…" The way Kaoru said that made Hikaru feel worse.

"Are you mad at me, Kaoru?" But his younger twin shook his head.

"I'm not… just tired." Kaoru rolled back over onto his side, but Hikaru couldn't help but feel that he was moving away from him, so he laid down and pulled his brother firmly against him, nuzzling his back. Kaoru shivered, unprepared for the sudden contact.

"I'm tired, too… so lets stay like this." Hikaru said against his back. "I wont move away… so don't pull away either…"

"Hikaru…" could it be… that Hikaru was beginning to realize…. Well, maybe it was just coincidence, Kaoru decided, closing his eyes. He wanted to feel his brother anyway, and closed his eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his brother's breathing.