Chapter 3
Roxas sat down on the edge of his bed with a sigh. He rested his head in his hands, wishing he could forget this day had ever happened.
"Do want some medicine for your headache?"
He shook his head and felt the bed move as Sora sat down beside him.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah… I'm fine…" Roxas knew Sora was worried about him. He hadn't broken down like that for years, not since that night two years ago.
During their freshman year of high school Roxas had picked up cutting and twice h tried to commit suicide. Some times Sora would catch him cutting in the middle of the night. At the time it was usually only a few small cuts on his upper arms or legs made with a small pocket knife, nothing serious.
No one could figure out what was going on. Roxas refused to tell anyone anything, not even Sora.
Then one night Sora caught him with a switchblade held to his wrist, deep and fresh cuts up and down both arms. Roxas finally broke down and told Sora everything. How he was afraid to be around people, how he was afraid he would hurt them or they would hurt him, how he couldn't trust anyone besides Sora, not even his best friends.
The stress and the guilt had been wearing him down for years. "I can't take it anymore," Roxas had said, "I just want it all to end."
That night they cried together. Sora made him promise never to scare him like that again. Roxas had swore that he'd never cut again, and he hadn't, no matter how much he wanted to.
Roxas looked up as Sora picked up his hand, turning it so his palm was up. He gazed at his wrist for a few moments before slowly looking up at his brother. Sora was watching him carefully.
"Can I look?" He said in little over a whisper.
Roxas tried to suppress the panic that was rising in him. "Do you not trust me anymore?" He fought back against the tears that sprung to his eyes.
With his free hand Sora reached up and gently cupped his brothers' cheek, his eyes never leaving Roxas's.
"Of course I trust you, Roxas. I trust you with my life, you know that. I just need to see, for my own peace of mind you know?"
Roxas looked into his eyes then nodded slowly; he could tell Sora was telling the truth. They had never been able to lie to each other; they knew each other too well.
He looked down as Sora pushed back the sleeve of his sweatshirt. The only scars that remained were the ones from that night. The ones he had made before then had faded close to a year ago. The ones that remained were neat and straight, running across his arm in a uniform pattern.
Roxas squeezed his eyes shut. Sora slid his sleeve back down then wrapped his arms his brothers' shoulders.
"Thank you," he murmured.
Axel woke early the next morning, getting into school just as the buses began to drop students off. Luckily for him his truck had chosen this particular morning to cooperate with him and start with minimal prodding.
He grabbed his bag off the seat next to him and slid out of the truck, not bothering to lock it. It wasn't like anyone would choose to steal it. He ambled slowly to the front of the school and leaned against one of the pillars in front of the main doors.
He dug out a pack of cigarettes from his bag, lighting one just as another bus pulled into the lot in front of him. He took a long drag as the students filed out one by one. He perked slightly when he saw a familiar head of blond hair.
He took one last drag on his cigarette before flicking it into the grass. Straightening up, he walked toward the twins.
Axel noticed how Roxas flinched and looked away hurriedly when he saw him. And he saw how Sora glared at him before trying to herd his brother away. Axel, not being able to think of another way to stop him, reached out and grabbed the brunettes arm.
Sora wheeled around and yanked his arm free of Axels' grip, behind his brother Roxas stood with his eyes fixed on the ground. Other students mumbled and complained as they moved to get around them.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Can I talk to him?"
"Why?"
"Can I just talk to him."
"Fine, go ahead," Sora stepped aside with his arms crossed.
"Alone, if you don't mind," he was starting to get annoyed with the boys over protectiveness.
"No, you can say what ever you have to with me here cant you?"
"I…"
"Sora," they both turned to look at the blond. "Go on."
"But Roxa…"
"Go on, Sora. I'll be in in a few minutes."
Sora looked between the two of them, obviously not happy. "Fine but don't take too long." He turned and walked away.
Axel motioned for Roxas to follow him, the blond looked unsure but followed. Axel led him to the small courtyard by the cafeteria which happened to be right next to the front entrance. He sat down on top of one of the wooden picnic tables and Roxas slowly followed him.
They both sat silently for a minute or two before Axel spoke up.
"Look I'm sorry about yesterday." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I shouldn't have pushed you like that."
When Roxas didn't say anything he went on.
"Like Demyx said I've never really been a people person. I wasn't trying to scare you. Really, I wasn't. I just didn't know what to do and I panicked which ended up making everything worse."
He sighed, "So like I said, I'm sorry. And I understand if you don't forgive me, I scared you pretty badly."
He extended a hand to him. Roxas stared down at his feet not once looking up.
After a few seconds Axel slowly pulled it back, trying to keep his disappointment from reaching his face.
"Alright then," he grabbed his bag and slid off the table. "I'll see you around, I guess."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked around to the table. Damn it.
Axel froze mid-step when he felt something on the back of his jacket. Slowly he turned to see Roxas standing behind him, his hand clutching at the back of Axels jacket.
Roxas's breath hitched in his throat when he realized what he had done. His hands began to shake nervously but even so he couldn't make himself let go of the red heads jacket. And he couldn't make himself look up at Axel, too afraid that the red head would be mad at him.
"Rox…"
"Why do you care?" It barely came out as more than a whisper.
"What?"
Roxas's hand still held Axels jacket and he knew that the boy could feel his trembling. Even so he didn't let go. If anything his grip became tighter, as if he were clinging to a lifeline. Axel didn't move, he just stood there motionless, turn sideways so he could see him.
"Why do you care?" he said a little louder. "Why do you care why I'm like this?"
"You didn't look happy," Axel said after a long minute.
Roxas's eyes widened and he looked up to see Axel watching him, a small smile on his face.
"In fact, you looked miserable," he laughed softly. "I hate to see people unhappy, call it paternal instinct I guess." He turned around and Roxas let go of his jacket.
"Besides, in my opinion, you'd look better with a smile on your face." He flashed him a wide grin and Roxas couldn't help but smile tentatively back.
"See that's what I mean!" He ruffled Roxas's hair affectionately, causing a startled and slightly indignant squeak to emanate from the blond.
Roxas, still on edge from the unexpected show of affection, looked up at Axel, who extended a hand.
"So we cool?"
Roxas nodded and took Axels hand. The red head grinned widely and pumped his hand with an air of finality.
"Come on," he turned back to the school, "let's get to class. I'm sure your brothers having a heart attack by now.
"So do you have a girlfriend back home or anything?" Axel waggled an eyebrow from across the lunchroom table.
Three days had past since Axel had apologized to Roxas. All week he had been asking Roxas questions about himself in the hopes of making the boy loosen up around him. Which seemed to be working, slowly but surely.
Roxas seemed to be less nervous around him then when they had first met. Although he still avoided eye contact as much as possible, Axel still caught him watching him occasionally. When he did the blond boy would blush furiously and look away. He had also progressed from answering only by shaking his head to actually speaking to him.
Axel couldn't help but be pleased with the progress he had made. And he could tell Sora was too happy about it too. Over the last few days the brunette had gone from casting suspicious glares at him when ever he got the chance, to actually trusting him and treating him like a friend.
Axels smile grew larger when Roxas sputtered through his soup at the unexpected question.
"Well… ummm… I…" he stuttered, his blush became deeper. "I… never really liked any of the girls at our school."
Axels Cheshire cat like grin grew. He let the blond go back to eating nervously before pressing on.
"So… you got a boyfriend then?" Axel suppressed the urge to laugh at the panicked look on Roxas's face.
"Are you trying to pick up my brother or something?"
"Yeah, I think he is," Demyx answered as they watched the two of them.
Roxas's face turned red again and Axel could feel his cheeks warm slightly. He prayed that it wouldn't show though.
"I… h… how did y-you know I'm g-gay?" he finally stuttered out.
Axel turned his attention back to Roxas, who sat looking slightly uncomfortable but curious. "Demyx told me; according to him he has "an impeccable 'gaydar."
"Yep! Never been wrong before."
"So, what does your 'gaydar' say about me?" Sora asked, obviously flirting with him.
"You really want to know?" Demyx said playfully.
"Of course."
"Fine, you're completely and 100% gay. All three of you are as a matter of fact," he motioned at Axel and the twins.
"Good," Sora stated proudly.
Roxas only blushed deeper.
"For the last fucking time. I'm not gay!"
Sora and Demyx shared a glance before laughing like it was the funniest joke ever.
"What!?"
"Come on Ax, still trying to deny it?"
"Axel, even I could tell."
He gapped at the two of them which only caused them to start laughing again.
"How? How come you all are so fucking sure I'm gay?
"You haven't seen how you look at Roxas, have you?" Sora nodded in agreement.
"What the hell does than mean?"
"Oh come on Axel, don't be dense. You've been hanging all over Roxas all week! You practically melt every time he looks at you or says something."
"I do not!"
"Okay, okay, just calm down. If you don't want to admit it yet that's fine."
Axel scowled at the two of them before returning to his food sulkily.
"N-no, I don't a-actually," Axel looked up to see Roxas picking at his food. "J-just to answer your question," he added quickly.
Axel smiled and reached out to ruffle the boys' hair.
A/N: So I had so much trouble on this chapter. I had to re-write it close to like 6 times, no joke. I did not have fun with it and I'm still not satisfied with it. But I don't think I ever will so I just decided to put it up like it is. It's kind of hard to understand in a few places I think, but you all are smart I think you'll be able to figure it out.
It's starting to annoy me how OOC Roxas is. But everytime I tried to change him back into character he got all emo and Axel would yell at me ___
Axel's scary when he's mad.
