JOKER'S LET'S PLAY: SLENDER, THE ARRIVAL

Author's Note: I will be using the second chapter of StA, the Page Hunt, basically, for this one-shot. Here's what you all've been waiting for since forever.

3 ya! Enjoy.


"How's it going there, everyone? PilotMoreau here with another Let's Play! So I went out and got… Slender, the Arrival. Okay, for you non-human viewers, I have a quick note for you…" Joker said into his webcam as he booted up the game.

"Slenderman is a 'creepypasta' character, that is to say, a creature from a copy-pasted horror story and/or urban legend designed to unnerve people on forums and chatspaces. In the early 21st century he became popular enough for somebody to make a game with him as the antagonist. SLENDER eventually was remade with a better plot and graphics engine, becoming SLENDER: The Arrival. That's what we're playing today!"

Joker clicked start. The game began and ran smoothly, the intro scene playing out. He walked down the dirty trail into the forest. Credits would appear every now and then as he walked, the sun very quickly setting. He reached a two story house surrounded by a brick wall and went inside, finding everything he needed to find, including the flashlight and some clues regarding the Slenderman.

He left and began the second chapter. The Eight Pages.

"Pretty spooky forest. Real pretty, though, I must admit," he said as he wandered aimlessly. Pretty soon he discovered a jeep parked on the trail, with a piece of paper sticking to a window. He approached and took it, smiling victoriously.

1 of 8 pages collected.

"Wait there's EIGHT?!" he cried. The ambience began to play. He journeyed back into the woods. Slenderman was not very active at this point, to Joker's relief. He found the second note stuck to a hunting tower soon enough and the ambience worsened. "Now I'm beginning to get worried, guys," he mumbled to himself.

As he walked through the forest his screen began to wobble. "Okay, what's going on here?" he said as static began to slowly fade in. Turning to his left he saw the Slenderman hiding in the woods. Surely he must be seven, eight feet tall! A white, bald, featureless face topped a black suit and tie, with long, gangly arms at his sides, going well past his waist, shoulders unnaturally long.

"NO! NO! NOPE! GOTTA GO, NICE TO MEET YOU, NOT, MAYBE? BYYYEEE!" Joker screamed, hitting the sprint button and running into the woods, in the opposite direction of Slenderman.

After a minute of running away, he stopped and turned around. He wasn't there. He managed to make his way to an abandoned building. "Oohh, it's gonna be a closed maze isn't it?" Joker asked, face twisting with disdain. He walked in and noted the narrow hallways and sharp turns, as well as the openable doors. "Yep, definitely gonna be a maze," he added. Poking his way into various rooms, he found no notes until he went through the hallways, entering the available rooms there. He found the note attached to a shelf.

"Third note, everyone. We can do this, only five more!" he said into his webcam, continuing on. He came to the exit of the building and peered outside. Turning to his right, in the far distance he could see Slenderman's white head and undershirt. "Okay! Wrong way! Going left!" Joker said, leaving the building completely and running back into the forest.

He wandered on, a smile on his face. So this was adrenaline? Probably nowhere near as strong as that the Normandy team experienced on their deadly missions. "My heart is pounding right now, you guys, you can't even imagine. Screaming like a b**** may make it funny to you all, but damn, just play it for yourself and you'll need new pants!" he said, giving a short review as he proceeded to find another page stuck to a map board. The ambience wouldn't stop getting worse!

Back into the woods. He had been pretty lucky, only seeing Slendy twice with three pages, now he had four! He saw him for a third time again as the screen distorted and a high pitched chirp sounded into his headphones, prompting him to make a pained face and tab out to fix his volume. "Volume problems, yo…"

He tabbed back in to find Slenderman dangerously close to him. And right in front of him.

"NOOOPE, NEVER GO FULL NOPE!" he shouted, turning around and running. The static kept getting more and more intense as the screen shook around uncontrollably before fading slightly, enough to see clearly.

Within minutes he had come up to a Water Tower and snagged the page from it, circling around and finding Slenderman waiting for him on the hill. "OH JESUS CHRIST!"

He made a half-circle back around the tower and ran down the hill, trying to outmaneuver Slendy. His screen wasn't very fuzzy, so he dared to turn around. He was directly behind him. The screen went into overload on the camera static and noise.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Joker screamed, eyes wide and mouth gaping as he quickly looked forwards again and spammed the sprint button, the sound of the interface becoming audible.

Escaping (temporarily) to the woods, he walked on for several more minutes, breathing heavily. "Oh my GOD, you have absolutely no idea in hell what I was feeling there for a minute. Questionable graphics aside, that was the single most terrifying thing I've experienced in a LONG time! Holy sh**!" he cursed, checking his arms and legs. No broken bones. Finding a little campsite with a still-lit fire, Joker found the sixth note taped to the tent. "Six Outta Eight!" he chanted as Slenderman appeared behind the tent as he backed away from it.

"OH GOD HE TELEPORTS!? HE HAS TELEPORTING SKILLS!" Joker sputtered, sprinting away from the campsite. Having collected six pages of eight, Slendy became particularly vicious, scaring Joker at any opportunity he got, appearing behind trees, occasionally distorting the screen to teleport in front of Joker, or screwing with static from behind him.

"This guy is just flat out annoying now!" Joker cried as he ran through the forest, finding a blue car parked in the middle of the path. The seventh note! "Getitgetitgetitgetit!" Joker hissed as he grabbed the note and ran around the car. He looked behind him to see Slenderman running towards him.

"WAAAYAHA OH SH** HE'S RUNNING!" he shouted, crouching next to the car. He looked up to see Slenderman running into the car. No static or anything, curiously… He sat there in the awkward "silence" (discounting Ambience, which by the way was horrid by this point), zooming in and out on Slenderman's "pants", a look of confusion turning to a mock smile ( c: ), back to confusion as he zoomed out, back to the smile as he zoomed in. He stood completely up and Slenderman vanished in a single frame. "Wuh!" went Joker as Slendy charged the car again, the static and screen wobbling fixed apparently.

"Nooooonononono!" Joker said, crouching at the car again. The static sound effects played and grew louder. "Euuugh! Abandon ship! Car! Whatever! That stupid thing still has wheels!" Joker cried, sprinting into the woods and ramming into more than his share of trees as Slenderman clipped through the car, albeit with some difficulty. "I HAVE ONE MORE PAGE! I WILL NOT GO DOWN HERE!" Joker defiantly screamed, trying to stumble through the forest.

"MAKE IT STOP!"

He escaped the static finally when Slenderman had mercy and teleported away, allowing Joker to press on. He finally arrived at a clearing full of cargo containers and fuel tanks. Jumping down from the rocks his character made a loud thud and the screen bobbed up and down from the impact. "Damn! How far can you fall in this game!?" he said, "shaking it off" by walking from side to side and then forwards into the container maze. His flashlight reflected off the final page. "YES! YES! THE LAST PAGE! C'MERE YOU LITTLE SH**!" he cursed as he walked over to it. His screen began to become covered in static and the intense shaking began again.

"Not today! NOPE!" Joker cried, sprinting for the note. Slenderman teleported just in front of him, off to the side of the note. Just when things looked grim, he clicked.

8 of 8 Pages Collected.

The game faded out to the next chapter and Joker threw his hat into the air in celebration. "WOOHOO! On the first try! Nothing can stop us now! OH MY GOD! YES!" he screamed, throwing his hands in the air and letting gravity bring them down onto the desk. His left wrist struck the corner of the table and Joker's face went blank apart from his mouth being squeezed shut and his eyes widening.

"…I think I just broke my wrist again… sh**… well… I'm going to end it there… tell me if you want more, and I'm going to go get a cast…

"And change my pants."

Later that day he would post the video on the extranet, bringing in millions of views, a small number compared to the galactic population, of course, but an achievement nonetheless. The Normandy crew were first to see it before its upload, and offered editing suggestions before it hit the extranet.

Joker would add in an after-video note that he would begin taking suggestions for games, preferably in the Horror genre, but stated he plans to enter the comedy genre as well.


A/N Time! Cleaned up the description of the one-shot collection. This is largely a crackfiction and multi-crossover. I do consider it canon for my Masscreed expanded universe, but in no way do I consider it very important aside from some moments of reference in the standard Masscreed storyline.

Also, you heard the man! He's taking requests!

Although, lemme just speak for Joker here.

No MMOs. They wouldn't exist by his time and Galaxy of Fantasy is largely undefined by Bioware's writers aside from being ridiculously long and based on Turian mythology. Also its too popular for him to play realistically for the sake of Let's Play gaming. NOTICE, that this includes combat MMOs such as Team Fortress, Warframe, League of Legends, SMITE, etc.

Nothing related to the Mass Effect Universe or Assassins Creed Universe. Elephant in the Room: Uhh… Fourth Wall please?

Horror and Comedy please, nothing MMO. Multiplayer games ARE allowed as to add other characters into the mix.

Follow, Favorite, and Review! Be nice in the review section of course. This isn't meant to be serious, before you get upset that Joker is OOC.