"The murder weapon isn't there. What do you do?"
"Search for footprints, fingerprints or any form of DNA."
"Such as?"
"Part of their clothing, hair and blood."
"You can't find anything. What does that show?"
"That we have one hygienic killer."
"Dammit A! Stop joking around! You'll never be L if you keep up the wise cracks! You may be the smartest one here, but don't forget your goal!"
xXxXx
"A, are you alright?"
I peaked under my arm from my downward position on my bed to face the deep voice that addressed me.
"Yes B. I'm fine."
"You don't look it."
I groaned and sat up to face the now 16-year-old B. Time hadn't been good to him. He looked exactly the same as when he was a child, just bigger. I still don't understand why he insists on looking like that. I think that the only thing that has changed about him is his personality. I can't exactly put my finger on it, but he seems darker. More sinister to what he was as a boy. I screwed my nose at the annoying male who I now called my best friend and tore my gaze away from his intense crimson eyes.
"You needn't worry about me B."
"It's because of L, isn't it?"
I cringed lightly before scowling at the male. He ignored it and shuffled over to take a seat beside me on the bed.
"The pressure seems to be getting to us both."
"I'm not feeling pressured B. People are just expecting too much of me. I'm not L, I can't keep up with him."
"That sounds like pressure to me."
I groaned and flopped back onto my bed as he lay down beside me.
"Seriously, I'm just a little overworked is all. It's always 'L this' or 'L that' it drives me crazy. I'm A god dammit!"
I briefly turned my head to see B staring intently at me causing me to flush.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"No, I'm glad you did. I've noticed anyway because of your actions these past few weeks. Maybe now you've talked about it you'll feel better. People shouldn't expect you to be L anyway."
Why is it that every time he said L, it's like he was disgusted with the letter? I ignored it and shrugged at him as my reply. Signalling this conversation was over. He lightly gripped my hand and I smiled, forgetting my woes for the moment. Weirdness aside, B really was a great friend. If it weren't for him then I think I may have gone insane.
"Do you ever think about leaving this place A?"
I briefly looked at him. What brought that on? I shook my head, no. I had my goal in life. I was next in line. I was the next L. I smiled at the thought. The next L. Me. I have worked so hard all these years for this. I yawned lightly, rolling over to face the crimson eyed man with a small smile.
"No, I haven't. Everything's going according to plan."
B furrowed his eyebrows.
"It's killing you A. You're always stressed and tired. You never stop studying. And because of this ambition that the teachers have put in your head; it's all you think about. They set this goal for you, you didn't do it for yourself."
"No, I want this."
"Then why don't you sound convincing?"
I eyed him briefly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear with a small scowl on his face. He then got up and headed over to the door, refusing to look at me. I sat up at this, he's never been mad at me before.
"If you want to be L so badly then go for it. But I think it's a waste of time. It'll be your own funeral."
With that he left. What was that about?
xXxXx
No, this can't be right! There must be some mistake! I've never gotten lower than a 92% in my life! But there it was, clear as day; mocking me.
"86%..."
"A!"
I jumped and turned my head to my current teacher. He was tapping his foot impatiently at me. He didn't look happy at all. I swallowed hard at this as I could feel my palms begin to sweat.
"You've seen your test score I see. Come, we have much to do."
More work? No. That can't be possible! I study all the time! There isn't possibly anymore I can do! I can't do it! My body can't take it! My mind can't take it!
"N-no... NO MORE!"
I didn't think, I just turned and ran. It was all I could do. Run from the teacher, run from the pressure, run from everything. I finally made my way outside to the lake near by Wammy's. My breathing ragged, my legs tired. But just watching this river flow made me smile, made me feel like it was taking my problems with it. I felt free. Glancing back at the orphanage in the distance I frowned and remembered the words B said to me.
'Do you ever think about leaving this place A?'
I smiled bitterly to myself as I clutched my room key in my pocket. My hand feeling warm and sticky from the blood seeping through the wound. I snapped my eyes open as I realized what I had done and pulled my hand out, glancing at the red substance that reminded me of B's eyes. I saw a drop of water fall onto the wound, enhancing the red colour as more fell. I looked up and dropped my hand to my side. The water trailing down my cheek instead, I was crying. I realized I had made B mad at me. My only friend in that God forsaken place. All because I listened to the teachers over my own thoughts. I placed my hands over my ears and shook my head violently, I couldn't form a coherent thought as a screech left my vocals; collapsing to my knees.
"I don't want to be the next L! I want to live in a house in a little village! I want to have a normal life with a man who loves me and have children! I want to work as a part time baker so I can always pick up the kids from school and take them to the park! I don't want to be L! NO!"
I tightly wrapped my arms around my quaking body, realization suddenly hitting me. I didn't want to be L. I never did. I secretly always envied the kids and adults walking around outside the orphanage with their normal lives. I rose to my feet, removing my blood stained jacket before looking up at Wammy's. then back to the river.
"I am not L... I am A! Alessa Newcastle!"
